A new twist
by TGMaria
Summary: Ana is 25, unemployed and lives with her mother. When Kate can't make a big interview, Ana pretends to be Kate and meets Christian Grey. Intrigued by the pretty brunette, Christian tries to hunt down this Miss Kavanagh, only to discover he has been deceived.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok I am very very new to all this, not just writing a story, but working this fanfiction site lol. Um basically I'm not a skilled writer, I just had this idea and thought I'd give it a go. So please be gentle. I read the fifty shades novels and while I liked them there we're things I thought were too perfect. Like Ana finishing university and landing that perfect job, not everything happens so neatly. So I made my Ana a 25 year old unemployed graduate who is down on her luck, but still feisty. Um Christian is still Christian in terms of history and lifestyle, but is 31.**

 **I don't own the story and characters, but I own the little twists.**

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 **Chapter 1 APOV**

I have something irritating my nose. I'm trying to sleep, go away whatever you are I think and focus on going back to the oblivion of sleep. Suddenly a sandpaper like tongue is licking my chin, and I realise I have my cat Jack sat on my chest, annoying me to wake up and feed him and his sister. Looking at the clock I groan seeing it's nearly 8am, nearly time to get up. What's the point though? The rejection letters can wait a bit longer, five more minutes in bed wouldn't hurt would it? I roll over, throwing the quilt over my head a pray for five more minutes peace. My eyes finally close again.

There is a horrible ringing, it's hurting my ears and giving me a headache. Go away please. But it doesn't stop, so I roll over to press snooze again. Shit, I slept in for more then an hour, crap, it's now 9:17am, shit I don't have long. But already I can hear the wheels of a pram turning, and I know I don't have long now before Izzy turns up.

Five. Four. Three. Two. One. There goes the doorbell. So I guess there isn't any chance of a relaxing day, not when my sister is here. I throw on my flip flops and hoody and make my way down stairs, not really caring that I probably look like I've been dragged through a hedge. The neighbours think I'm strange anyway.

"God Ana did you just get up? Christ how lazy are you, come on let us in it's bloody freezing outside" said my sister Izzy as she barges into the living room, with her pram in tow. Luckily my two year old nephew Joshua is asleep for a minute, usually I have to babysit. Making my way to the kitchen I am desperate for a big cup of tea, so kissing my mom, who is sat at the kitchen table reading the paper, I put the kettle on. Yeah did I forget to mention I live with my mom, who I love to pieces, but like my sister, drives me insane.

It's been three years now since I finished university, three years ago I was independent living with my roommate Kate in Portland, living three of the best years of my life. I've always been painfully shy, it's cringe worthy. But the experience truly helped me. But once graduation happened and the afterglow of the ceremony began to fade so did my confidence. I applied to every publishing company in the state, I wasn't ready to go too far from home yet, as my mom hasn't been well. But I wasn't planning on moving home, as in the same house, which was the case when I didn't get that great job in publishing. Or any job in fact.

The kettle finally boiled and brought me out of my funk and I went and grabbed the milk. My sister was talking about the boys, four little terrors that I loved to pieces. There's Alex who is eight, Will is six, Mackenzie is five and the terror that is Joshua is now two. I have two elder sisters, Isabelle and Sophia. Though I haven't seen Soph in ten years, Izzy is a handful enough, especially with her four boys.

"Here's your tea", I hand my mom her steaming cup, while I excuse myself to get dressed. I would have happily stayed in my fleecy bunny pyjama bottoms, they give me comfort, almost like a hug I desperately needed. But it wasn't acceptable to be twenty-five and laze around in my pjs while I should be doing more important things according to Izzy.

When I get upstairs I see my phone screen flashing. Shit I have an email, and pray it is good news. I don't know which job reply it is from but I don't care. I skim through it to get my answer. Another rejection. Another one bites the dust, I try to joke as I blink back the tears of disappointment. It turns out the job wasn't even good, it was a part-time cleaning job in a school, but I was desperate. Ah hell I couldn't even get a job as a cleaner, what was wrong with me? Maybe I should stop putting my qualifications on my CV? No stop it Ana, you worked so hard for your qualifications, don't hide them!

So instead I go to the bathroom and begin to get ready for yet another day of job hunting.

"Ugh you look like crap" I criticise the pale and tired looking girl in the mirror. I've lost weight, and though I'm trying to get healthy again, my eyes look too large for my face and my cheekbones are sticking out further. It's like Edward scissor hands looking back at. Don't worry I managed to keep the tears back again, I don't want my family to know I'm close to my sanity caving in. I was already hiding the fact that I was on antidepressants and in therapy. I need to do something, this is ridiculous, I am wasting away.

My phone sounds like a fire alarm, the tone I chose for my friend suddenly comes from my room. Oh shit why is she calling, she's supposed to be on vacation, I hope she's ok, she knows not to call unless it's an emergency.

"Kate what's wrong", I can't stop the panic entering my voice.

"Steele, I really need your help!", a frantic Kate yells. Not good.

 **So there we have it, the first chapter! Sorry it's short, just getting used to this lol! But like I said my Ana is completely different in my version. Yes she got her degree, no she didn't get the great publishing job, instead she got some regular joe jobs that she hated (yup same thing happened to me) and they made her feel like crap, I'll go into some of her past experiences of work later maybe. And so no great job means no awesome apartment with Kate and she is back with her mom. And her family life is crazy as hell. I couldn't let Ana just be an only child, so instead I gave her an overbearing sister. So as you can see Ana's life is totally suffocating! She has no life of her own...yet. But be warned that happily ever after doesn't come so easily and neat in reality!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 APOV**

"You're not serious Kate! Please tell me you're joking?" This can not be happening! Breathe Steele, she's just winding you up.

"Do I sound like I'm joking Steele?! I am so fucked right now, and you are the only one who can help me" Kate continues to scream.

I try not to anger the beast too much, but I can't do this, I will screw this up and ruin her career. Oh my God I think I'm having a panic attack! I'm trying to breath while Kate continues her begging/yelling/persuasion.

"Ana there is no way I can get back there by tomorrow morning, no flights are leaving until the storm settles. This interview is a huge deal to my boss, apparently this guy rarely does interviews! Please please help me!" I can imagine her pouting the last part, as Katherine Kavanagh doesn't beg.

Shit I'm going to have to do this! Think Steele think, you have a degree, use that brain to find a way out of this! Maybe this will work, I'll try another approach.

"Kate I don't know a thing about this guy. How am I supposed to interview him if I don't even know his name for Christ sake?" I will look like a complete fool if I go there totally unprepared. If he's someone worth interviewing he will probably have me out on my ass for wasting his time. Especially if my opening questions include, who are you? and what do you actually do?

Kate continues in a rush, "Don't worry I'll email you over his profile, and you've got until tomorrow to get up to date." I try to slip in here with my final argument, but it's no use. "And no I can't ring work and tell them that I can't make the interview cause my editor hates my guts! I've told you all about the evil bitch known as Janice Harper, the one you'd feel sorry for cause she's a turd on legs and probably got picked on, but I still hate her. She is looking for any excuse to sack me and me not turning up to a major interview at the last minute because I can't get back from my vacation which I had to fight to get time off for, is just the excuse she needs to get me out! So please, you will be saving my ass if you can help your bestest friend out!" And now she finally breathes!

Now she's finally quiet, she knows she's got me, bitch played the best friend card. So I've got to laugh, "bestest? Kate how did you become a journalist?"

"Cause I gave the guy interviewing me the best bj ever" Kate bursts out laughing and suddenly I am laughing so hard I practically piss myself. I haven't laughed like that in ages, God I've missed my friend.

"You owe me one bitch! Like big time! I'm talking you being my lap dog for the day!" I try to see the good side, I'll be in the city, maybe a day out might be good for me?

"We can discuss my payment when I get back! I've gotta go, love you bitch! Look out for my email!" Kate always has a way of making me smile, even when our worlds are miles apart, she's always been there for me.

When I started university I was a shy mousey bookworm. And despite my lack of confidence I did the most boldest thing ever and I applied for campus accomdation. I know moving out for school was not necessary, but I needed it. And though I ticked on my application for a quiet roommate, the roommate they gave me was anything but quiet. Kate was everything I wasn't, confident, stunning and feisty. Whatever she wanted she went for it with the full-Kavanagh force, and I was her new target. I remember being sat in our community kitchen cleaning, when she barging in with a huge box she could hardly carry, huffing and puffing. No one else in our dorm had said much, and I kept myself busy to ignore the pangs of rejection. But as soon as Kate came in plonking her box on the table, she laughed as the box toppled over, and asked if I wanted a hand and a cup of tea. I was nervous at first, thinking this must be a joke, this bubbly confident girl wouldn't want to talk to me. Apparently she did, and after a few hours of talking Kate invited me out to celebrate moving into university. That night I had my first drink! I know it sounds lame, I was never the rebellious teen, my sisters had that role covered. But Kate finally gave me that push to have some fun. According to her she saw such potential, but I was holding it back and everyday she helped me crawl out of my shell. No I wasn't the campus tramp but I started feeling great about myself, I made friends, went out clubbing, did things I didn't get to do when I was a teenager. It was my chance to be young.

But like Cinderella all things must come to an end. University finished and reality settled in. And while friends went off and got great jobs, big promotions and marriage, I was seen as a dead weight and dropped like a rotten potato! So much for friendship lasting forever.

But with Kate, our friendship stayed pretty strong and only got stronger. Living not too far away from each other, I use her as my red card to escape my life. Even if it is just a Friday night with pizza, beer and crap movies, which we like to do commentaries for. It's this loyalty from Kate that now has me going against my anxiety to help her out with this interview. She would do it for me in a heartbeat.

My phone bings telling me I have an email, and there it is, the information all about this mysterious mega successful guy.

 **To: Ana Steele**

 **From: Kate Kavanagh**

 **Subject: saving ones bacon - I promise it's vegetarian lol**

 **Hey chick**

 **Thanks so much for doing this for me, you are such a star. And I promise I will shower you with lunch, spa days and drinks for being amazing :)**

 **Ok enough ass kissing, here's the info on my Mr Christian Grey - the guy you will interview!**

 **Cheers again and I'll catch you when I'm back**

I smile at the screen, and switch off my phone for a minute, knowing if I don't go back downstairs my sister will give me a earful.

 **I don't know if many of you have experienced this, but at uni you feel on top of the world, then you come back to reality. The friends you once had so much in common with go off and lead their own lives and your stuck back at square one! This is Ana's life, and she's blessed to have Kate, that's why I wanted them to have more of an equal relationship not Kate bossing Ana around. And I made Ana a vegetarian because it bugged me in the second book when Christian orders her steak and she's annoyed!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Aw wow thanks everyone for being nice! :)**

 **Chapter 3 APOV**

When Izzy leaves to pick up the boys from school, luckily it's a free afternoon for me now, I finally opened the attachment and check out this Mr Grey.

Holy shit, he's a freaking billionaire! I didn't know those even existed! I feel like like Dr Evil for Austin Powers, with his kajillion dollars! I thought they were made up to make people fell bad!

Though little was said about this past, he was adopted by Mr and Mrs Grey, and I feel a pang of sadness. He was given up, abandoned, all sort of horror stories flit through my head. Ok, he was one of the lucky ones, his mother is a paediatrician and his dad is some top notch lawyer, but still I know how hard it feels to not be wanted by your family.

Ok though he works primarily in the telecommunications sector - an area I know crap all about - I like the fact that he helps certain charities. As it should be, he has enough money, he should put some back into the world. But I also see he has co-founded a charity called coping together, which helps parents with substance addictions. The charity helps with rehabilitation, not just for the parent but also the children, such as babies born with addictions from the mother. The work though is mainly for the children affected, children who have been abused and traumatised. People always forget that the addicts are not always the ones who need help. Again I feel sad, as this Mr Grey might have some personal experience in this field, having co-founded the charity and donating hefty sums to keep it going.

Luckily the questions Kate has compiled aren't too bad, but asking a guy if he's gay is a bit risky. I know I was offended when this boy in high school started rumours I was gay because I wouldn't go to a school dance with him. Do I ask such an intrusive question? I'll wait and see, I can always leave it off.

The next day, D-Day, Kate said I could raid her wardrobe for something to wear. Thank God, cause the best outfit I have is my conventional, cheap interview getup, a black jumper and black slacks. So I can get some help from Kate's wardrobe, water her plants and put the mail away, killing a few birds with one stone.

After being at Kate's apartment for over an hour I'm checking over my outfit one last time before I head out. Luckily Mr Grey's office is like a 10 minute walk from Kate's City apartment. Looking at the mirror I actually feel good, despite the fact that I am nervous as hell with talking to this guy. But Kate's clothes are acting as a kind of armour, shielding my insecurities.

Slipping on her black peep toe heels, I finally have the height to pull off these black Capri pants that make my legs look long and slim, despite being only 5ft 2. Finishing it off with a simple white t-shirt and fitted black blazer, I makes me look sophisticated without trying too hard. I leave the apartment feeling confident, though I did drink a load of coffee, which probably added the spring to my step. No stop it Ana you can do this! You've got this! I continue this mantra all the way to Mr Grey's office, luckily only stumbling twice in these shoes!

When I turn the final corner I'm greeted by this huge dominating mass of metal and glass. Wow, that's one hell of a building, I think as I whistle looking it up and down. Don't be intimidated Ana, it's just a building, it's not gonna bite. But then I start thinking of all those stories like the Amityvile house. Good one Ana, you're going to interview a billionaire and all you can think about is a haunted house, really? Put your game face on and get in there!

Entering through the revolving doors I am greeted by a a huge open foyer which is packed full of business men and women, it's worse then the subway! Christ I didn't think there would this many people, it's like a giant ant farm! Finally making it to a large reception a very pretty, immaculate blonde woman gives me her best cheesy smile.

"May I help you?" I bite back a laugh at her smug tone. Yeah I know I don't fit in bitch, no need to be smug.

"Yes I have an appointment with Mr Grey" I answer.

"Name?" I panic for a second, shit this bitch will give me shit if I say Kate couldn't make it so she sent me, her unemployed friend. Fuck! Before I can stop myself I give her a name.

"Katherine Kavanagh, I'm with the Seattle Times" Ha that had her and she knew it. Game. Set. Match bitch!

"Level 22, I will inform Mr Grey's assistant you are on your way", she said all this without looking at me, so I give her the sweetest thank you I can manage and walk towards to elevators.

The doors finally open and I'm pushed forward slightly, snooty rich bastards have no manners. Luckily more people start filing out the higher the lift goes and finally I can breath again. This gives me one last chance to make sure I look presentable, my hair is falling in gentle mahogany waves down my back and my eyeliner is still intact.

Ding. That's my cue, you can do this! The Rocky theme tune playing in my head, great now it's stuck there.

Mr Grey's reception can only be described as large, white and sterile. Don't get me wrong, it screams money. But that's it. I'll admit he has some cool features, I really like the glass wall that divides the waiting room from the reception desks, it's like a water fall. Like looking outside at the rain, it's soothing.

Another blonde, (does he put that in the job advertisement - MUST BE BLONDE?) approaches, much nicer then the last one.

"Miss Kavanagh, Mr Grey is expecting you. Please come this way" she smiles.

Oh crap I thought I had more time to get my shit together, I didn't think I'd go straight in. My cool is starting to slip.

Just don't fucking fall! If that's the only thing you do, then don't fall! I silently beg myself as I knock on the door to Mr Grey's office.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi again. Thanks for being so nice, it really helps. Um ok so this is gonna be the interview scene and and it was hard to write. But there's a few things. First Christian is a bit of a shit, he does have a submissive, so brace yourself. I will point out I know nothing on business so I had to avoid it. I was more interested in these two people being confused as hell with these emotions then Kate's questions. Someone also mentioned about making the chapters longer, sorry about that. I'm just testing the waters a bit, hopefully the chapters will get longer as my confidence grows lol.**

 **Chapter 4 CPOV**

For fucks sake I can't believe I've got to waste my time on some stupid interview. This is why I never agree to them because they are stupid! Everything you want to know can be found on Wikipedia, so why must I be subjected to this when I could be doing actual work? The one that makes me money! Oh because it's good for your image your PR department said, what crap! My image is that of a ruthless bastard who gets what he wants, that's what gets me my business, knowing that I can turn shit into gold, no diamond more like!

I try counting back from ten but it's no use, I'm still not looking forward to this. But it's ok, I've got the lovely Miss Megan Stevens coming over tonight to start her weekend and I've been desperate for a release all week!

That's it, there's the silver lining, the lovely Miss Stevens bent over touching her toes, naked, her pussy all slick and wet as I turn her ass red with a paddle. She can stay like that for hours, did I mention she's a yoga instructor? I adjust my pants when the intercom buzzes bursting my dirty daydream.

"Yes?" I don't feel guilty at my tone, Andrea knows the drill.

"Mr Grey you're appointment with Miss Kavanagh from the Seattle Times is here."

Let's get this over and done with shall we, "send her in" I say.

Might as well get comfortable I mumble to myself, rolling up my shirt sleeves and leaning back in my chair, this is going to be a long ten minutes. The timid knock on my door annoys me. You need to try not to be a total wanker ok, try and relax I tell myself.

Not going to happen!

But the door starts to open at a frustratingly slow pace, Jesus prolong my agony why don't you I think as I pull at my hair. God this bitch is ruining my day and she hasn't even stepped over the threshold.

Holy fuck! I nearly fall off my chair in surprise. She is not what I expected, not this stunning creature coming meekly around the corner of my door. Those eyes, looking at me with anxiety are ice blue. I've never seen anything so...beautiful. Wait what the hell, beautiful is not usually in my vocabulary in regards to women. But hell there's a first for everything it seems! A delicate blush is spreading across her slightly freckled cheeks as she stares, I guess asking for permission to enter.

Oh please baby, do come in.

I stand and make my way over to her, taking in every detail. Petite, I'd guess 5ft 1, but with fantastic legs, especially in those heels. And the way her silky hair waves down her breasts makes me want to reach out and push my fingers through it.

"Miss Kavanagh, it's a pleasure to meet you", a real pleasure and I extend my hand.

Her lip twitches into a shy smile, "likewise Mr Grey" and she takes my hand. It's so tiny in mine, so delicate and slender and the feeling is extraordinary. I gesture for her to sit which allows me a sneaky opportunity to check out her ass, and boy it doesn't disappoint.

When she's sitting comfortably I move behind my desk and take a seat to watch her. She's looking at the paintings I have had recently purchased. They are by a local artist, who has an incredible way of seeing the beauty even in the ugly. Strange I should like them really, maybe I feel like those ugly object, just wanting to be seen as something other then ugly. Wow, Flynn would love that. Before I can educate her about the pieces she surprises me.

"Trouton?" she likes art huh?

"Correct? You're a fan?" I ask.

She gives me a stunning toothy smile that makes me gasp slightly, "you've gotta love anyone who can help show that there's beauty even in the plain and simple."

Shit did I just say that out loud? Ha now you're paranoid. But the way she's smiling shows a sense of longing almost, like she to is waiting to be finally be seen, like those plain objects. Enough philosophical thinking Grey, let's do this.

"So Miss Kavanagh, shall we be started?" I gesture to her bag.

"Of course" and with that she pulls a note pad and tape recorder out of her bag. I swallow a laugh of disbelief, shit I thought journalist today work with iPad and digital recorders? And the way she's fumbling about with that recorder is comical, I bet she'll drop it. Ha I must be psychic because the recorder suddenly clattered to her feet. This time I hide my laugh with a cough, subtle Grey. Blushing furiously she asks if it is ok to record the interview. I should say no just to watch her squirm, but I'll throw her a bone for now.

"So Mr Grey I must say your profile is extremely impressive, but I have to ask why go into the field of mergers and acquisitions?"

Hmmm never had it put that way it's never why, usually it's the mundane to what do you owe your success?

"Strangely enough I did it for two very different reasons. The first being that I never wanted to struggle in life, I wanted to make money. The second, I wanted to help people" shit the girl is softening me up already, I'm usually blunt to the point. Not so...honest.

Miss Kavanagh frowns slightly and smirks. What the fuck, I was actually being honest. This annoys me and my muscles tense, I feel the need to hold myself back from spanking her ass red raw for being rude. No one smirks at me, I smirk at them.

"You don't believe me Miss Kavanagh?" I challenge.

"It's not that-" she bites her lip, Christ it looks delicious. There's a tiny scar under her bottom lip, "-it's just those are two massive contradictions. You want money, but you want to help people. Surely it can't be both?" She challenges right back at me.

"Well a person has to be able to look after themselves as well. If I wasn't stable and healthy then I wouldn't be able to complete my work which can help provide people with work, which can provide food for their families, putting their children through college. So yes, contradictory, but it's all about balance", she looks a bit more impressed this time. Oh course there are other reasons, the most important, I won't ever go hungry again. I won't go back to that place, I won't be that frightened little boy anymore.

 **APOV**

Wow touché! It's only been a few minutes and I my pulse is going crazy. Not just for the fact that this man, arrogant yes, obnoxious of course, is...hot! Wow did I say that? But holy hell he is, and he's not some typical fat looking business guy with a combover, his hair is tussled and messy and I just want to push my hands through it and pull him to me. Crap, stop it. Get back to the interview, I haven't talked to someone this challenging in years. I'm enjoying it so far, don't ruin it by turning into a teenage girl with a crush! Kate would be professional, so stop drooling you fool.

"Despite being extremely successful career wise, people feel they only see Christian Grey CEO, but aside from helping the world and making money, what do you do for you?" I continue.

Did I mention those eyes, that are bright grey like a silver penny, which now appear sad. Shit did I offend him? I think he's going to make some bogus remark about keeping his personal life personal or someaning worse like "yeah I buy diamonds and bathe in champagne, while I wipe my ass with $100 bills." But surprisingly he doesn't say either.

"There are but a handful of people who get to experience me outside of my CEO persona. Being behind a desk most of the time, I enjoy more physical pursuits outside of work. I like to go gliding, and sailing. It's freedom for me. Rock climbing is something I do with my brother whenever time allows me. But...my tastes are varied. Very varied." aw I melt a bit more, he's loves his family. But still most of those are quite lonely activities, I guess money doesn't always buy you everything.

"So you save the world, do extreme sports and love your family, maybe you're not the cold blooded business man the world sees, maybe you do have a heart?" Ok that wasn't written down, I need to get back on track and not get too personal.

He sighs and chuckles softly, it's sweet. But when he looks up there's a mischievous glint in those eyes and a very sexy smirk, "there are two sides to ever coin Miss Steele" and with that his grin turns cheeky, like he's hiding a big secret. Oh Mr Grey, I bet there is a different side to you, not the serious CEO, something far more exciting.

Wow did it just get hot? Damn it, who is this guy and how can he aggravate and excite me all at the same time? In so little time. I need to stop this. So I look for the most stupidest question. Ah I know just the one the cool down this heat, there that will work.

"Are you gay Mr Grey?" I say as coolly as I can, knowing that this will wipe that smirk off his very pretty face and put us back into the professional mode.

And I think it does, his lips press into a hard line, and the muscles flex in his well toned arms as he grips the arm of the chair. Anger. Pupils dialating. Jaw tensing. Yup I pissed him off, but my plan has backfired. This was supposed to put out the heat, and he would be cold and CEO like, instead it just turned it into wildfire. He is suddenly out of his chair, shoulders squared, appearing taller, dominating and now towering over me.

"No Katherine I am not gay" he emphasises the not bit a bit too much, almost challenging me to let him show me how he is indeed NOT gay.

Wow someone's sensitive, don't let him dominate you Ana. Think like Kate Ana, she wouldn't let this guy intimidate her in work or life, come on do what you need to do and then you go and forget all about this. I have an evil sarcastic streak which is bubbling to the surface now, it makes surprise appearances when I deal with super angry people. Izzy is one of them, my mom calls us fire and ice.

"You co-founded a number of different charities, which benefit those both locally and globally, apparently not any LGBT organisations though. Your family and yourself host the annual Coping Together Gala, any comments on what this particular cause means to you?"

Mr Grey has remained in his position, probably trying to continue his projection of power over me, and says, "no one should ever judge those on what they see. There is always a backstory behind every action, and this charity allows those stories to be heard. We can't fix the problem until we deal with the cause, and we provide therapy, emergency housing, group support, childcare, as well as educational and job opportunities. Allowing those a helping hand to get back on their feet and on the road to recovery. But society forgets the children and families affected by addiction, and I believe they are survivors, maybe more so then the addict is themselves."

I think I'm gobsmacked, he spoke with compassion and honesty, I'm in awe right now. It's nice to see he's not just some money making, gold toilet owning rich prick, he seems to actually care. Giving him a shy smile, I need to keep to the script so I can conclude the interview, and make my way to leave. Emotions are running too high and I need to escape now. So I turn back again to my script and ask if he has any kind of philosophy in regards to his life of success. And to my relief we are back on track, the mundane question has helped us both regain focus.

When he finally finishes answering Kate's last question I smile and stand purposely to leave.

"Not so fast Miss Kavanagh" he stops me in my tracks.

When I look at him, confused he adds, "I have a question or two for you."

Uh-oh

Cocking my head to side and looking him right in the eye I smile, "I'll give you one. I have a busy day Mr Grey, as I'm sure you have, what with running a billion dollar empire" I say as I wrap my arms around my chest, I don't like questions. But I won't let him see my anxiety. I keep repeating my mantra, think like Kate, act like Kate! It's helped through the last thirty minutes, it can help me through this last bit.

A full tooth megawatt smile spreads across his face and knocks the wind out of me. I can feel myself turning red, betraying my fake confident stance. I can see the wheels turning, what question with he churn out? Rubbing this thumb across his lip, he comes to stand right in front of me, I can feel the heat of his breath on my cheeks as I look up at him. I can see he has settled on his question.

Looking down at me, he asks coolly, "you studied English literature from what I saw on you resume. I'm curious, was it Thomas Hardy, Charlotte Brontë or Jane Austen that made you fall in love with literature?" **(Note: I couldn't resist)**

I've got to laugh, I wasn't expecting that, and I can answering honestly as I did study literature with Kate, who studied it part-time with her journalism degree. But really, does everyone think you have to be some damsel who pines for romance and dreams about some knight in shining armour if you study literature?

So feeling a little cocky, I smirk up at him and answer, "None of the above. And please be aware Mr Grey, not everyone who studies literature necessarily loves the classics. If I'm honest, Hardy bored me, especially when I read _The Mayor of Casterbridge_ , and though I do like Brontë I prefer her sister Anne Brontë, and her novel _The Tenant of Wildfell Hall_. And as for Austen, her best book was _Persuasion_ because it was about regret, real tragic regret, not some fluff about arrogant teenage girls. But no, none of those authors made me fall in love with literature."

And with that I turn on my heels and leave, smiling like a Cheshire Cat. Damn I feel so good, I do a little jiggle, I'll save the proper victory dance for later when I'm alone. Once outside the building I laugh like a kid at Christmas. I did it! I survived and I finally remove the murderous heels and walk back to Kate's in the Seattle rain barefoot.

 **If there are any hardcore classic literature fans I meant no offence lol**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok this really is a short chapter I'm sorry about that. But I kind of wanted to get past this to the big discovery which is more fun! So this is just a little aftermath from Christian who starts to actually feel something. I spared any details with him and his sub, but it shows he is loyal to just one woman at a time.**

 **Chapter 5 CPV**

I am stunned! And that doesn't happen often! Who the hell was that? This is so confusing, I was angry as fuck when she asked me if I was gay! Me gay, far from it and I could easily prove it to her, here and now on my desk. I should have turned on the great CEO and do what I usually do, and believe me I would have had great satisfaction at throwing her out of my office for asking. But then another part of me found it refreshing not having some stupid little girl fall at my feet and drool on my shoes, it's a pretty face I get it, but show some fucking dignity. Little Miss Kavanagh was unfazed by the big bad CEO. I had great satisfaction seeing that lovely blush fill her cheeks, so I can see she wasn't completely immune to me, but she didn't let that affect her job. She was challenging and smart, something I couldn't get enough of, that smart mouth of hers will get her in trouble.

Andrea buzzes letting me know my next meeting was due to begin in 5 minutes! Shit Grey you need to focus on work, get your head out of the gutter. Adjusting my pants I make myself presentable and grab my iPad, and make my way to boardroom. Focus Grey, now ain't the time.

It's now 7:57pm and I decide to pack up and go home. Today has been crazy, we are starting the negotiations for the local publishing house SIP. I was never keen on the publishing business, not knowing enough about the field, but Ross promised me it would be well worth it. And I now thanks to a petite brunette with a love for literature, I am excited about this new venture. All day she's been on my mind! All bloody day! The way she bit her lip when she was thinking, watching it turn a luscious deep red has made me shift in my seat all day. Christ it's distracting. I didn't even realise how close I was to my apartment, or the fact that my phone has been ringing.

Shit it's my mother! 4 missed calls! How did I not notice? I call her back.

"Christian Trevelyan-Grey you've been a nightmare to get a hold of! What if it was an emergency?!" my mother is yelling down the phone.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, "Is it an emergency mom?"

"No, but that's not the point-" she lets out a long frustrated sigh, not good "- I am calling to remind you that I need you to arrive a little early on Saturday next week to discuss the security before the guests arrive"

Shit, I totally forgot!

"You forgot didn't you?" reading my mind.

Did I say that out loud?

"Christian Trevelyan-Grey all you do is work work work, you remember all these meetings and deadlines for you, but nothing for your family. Now I want you at this house at 6pm sharp on Saturday to discuss the security for the Coping Together Gala, do I make myself clear?", my mother hasn't used her stern voice since I was like 16, and it still gives me chills.

"Yes mother, I'll see you at 6pm on Saturday." I say chastised.

She lets out a sigh of relief and returns to her happy cheery ways, "I'll see you then sweetheart. I love you"

I've gotta smile, "love you to mom" I put my phone away just as we pull into one of my parking spaces. Christ I need a scotch and a shower!

As soon as the elevator doors open I head straight for my office, straight for the bar, straight for the scotch. It burns in a delicious way as I down it, and I pour myself another, taking my time with this one and flopping into my chair. Looking down at Seattle I find myself wondering, what Miss Kavanagh is doing right now?Did she get home ok? It hasn't stopped raining all day. That's one of the reasons I love Seattle, the rain soothes me.

The sound of my phone buzzing however, doesn't sooth me. In fact I'm annoyed it's ruined my moment of peace, but I have to answer as it's Taylor and it could be a security issue.

"Yes Taylor what is it?"

"Sir, Miss Stevens has arrived downstairs for your meeting"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I forgot! All morning that was all I could think about, tiring her up, whipping her raw and fucking her senseless. Now there's nothing. Hmm that's not happened before. Do I send her home and mope here like a fool as I drink myself to sleep? Or do I let her up?

So, how do you proceed Grey? Which choice?

"Sir? Shall I let her up?" Taylor interrupts.

..."yes Taylor. Please send her up." Hanging up I down my second scotch, perhaps I need a little tension relief I think as I make my way to the main room to give my instructions.

 **ok don't be too angry! Christian doesn't think he's ever going to see Ana again, and I like the fact that he's always been loyal to one woman at a time. And at the time he is committed to another woman, but that doesn't mean Ana hasn't already started to change him. Be patient.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 CPOV (a week later)**

Concluding my conference calls I stretch and crack my joints! Shit those Chinese are bastards in the boardroom. But it's done, contracts are edited and will be faxed to be signed. And now once I get this gala over and done with, I will have Miss Stevens ready and waiting. Our last weekend was strange and confusing. I tried to hard to push past those baby blue eyes which continued to torment me, and I had to consume some more scotch to take the edge off, but I couldn't look at my sub while I fucked her. Always taking her from behind, always led on her stomach when I whipped her, which helped. With only having a sub for the weekend, my mind and body was no longer distracted, and all that sarcasm, cheeky smiles and lip biting came flooding back with a vengeance.

I enter my apartment and grab myself a bottle of water before heading to my bedroom to get ready. Mrs jones picked up my dry cleaning, my tux I will wear to the Coping Together Gala which my mother, sister and father (probably mom got him to nag me to) have been reminding me of all week. God I'm not a child, but then I do have a bad track record of cancelling things last minute due to work and just end up sending a cheque. But all week I have been distracted by the memory of vivid blue eyes and that sarcastic mouth. Miss Kavanagh really has left me winded, which is confusing me, cause usually it's the other way around. Women swooning like fools, and left shell shocked, but here I am beating off in the shower like a fucking horny teenager. Wicked words came out of that pretty mouth of hers, I bet I could make her do all sorts of wicked things. Stop it! I can't go to my parents house with yet another raging hardon! Remind me to get some sessions in with Bastille in the week, that way him kicking my ass can take my mind off her before the weekend.

You'd think having the delectable Miss Stevens at my beck and call all weekend would be enough to keep me sated? But no, and I had her twisted like a pretzel and damn she felt fucking amazing, but...I don't know. It's not nothing, but it's not everything. Not that rush that I've been used to! Ugh maybe I'm getting old? I'm a heartless bastard who likes to fuck women hard and send them home, I don't talk to them, it's just sex. Those caveman emotions of mine I know and work with well, I have done for years now. But now. There's something going on inside that I can't shake, what is it? Attraction? Something other then sex and appearances? Yes Miss Kavanagh was stunning, no doubt she ticked that box. And yeah she is petite and a brunette, but usually I like that type because they are meek and easily dominated, among other reasons. But I have this feeling Miss Kavanagh, despite her size would rather kick my ass then let me spank it. There's a defiance that I like, and wouldn't want to change. So then where the hell does that fit in with BDSM Grey huh? Well she could always fulfil your fantasy, I'd love a woman to show some resistance, nothing is better then angry sex, and I bet she'd be fucking amazing at it. Those eyes raging with anger and lust as I - Fuck now I need another ice cold shower! Get her off your mind, there's probably no chance in hell you will be running into her and then dropping the line, "so I want you as my submissive, what do you think?" You have a perfectly decent sub for now, just leave Miss Kavanagh as a fantasy...for now.

As I get out of shower I hear my phone ring, it's my sister! Christ I'm coming ok, no need to keep annoying me! I grit my teeth and answer.

"Yes Mia what is it now?" I asked pissed off.

"God what crawled up your ass and died big brother?" My annoying as hell sister laughs.

"Do you kiss our mother with that mouth? Mia I'm showered and ready to put on my tux, you can tell mum I should be there within the hour, ok?" I answer.

She laughs again, knowing I'm on the verge of screaming, "awesome, thanks Christian, I'll tell mom you're still coming. Love ya"

I've gotta smile, she always had that power over me, "I love you to" and I hang up.

I'm soon on my way to Bellevue where my parents live, the Seattle lights melting together as Taylor speeds up. Just like my life, everything just blending together in some mundane haze, time goes too fast and I hardly have time to enjoy it.

The house I grew up in, my sanctuary, finally comes into view from behind the tree lined drive way. Mom has out done herself this year, the trees are lined with teardrop lights that look like raindrops.

When we finally pull up our house is surrounded by security guards and event planners and god knows who else, in amongst them is my mother. Smiling that smile she has given me for the past 27 years, when she sees me finally get of the car. That warm and genuine smile that helped me see past my past abandonment.

I kiss her on the cheek, "mom. You look beautiful, and I must say so far so good decoration wise" I smile down at her.

"Thank you darling, it means so much that you are here" she says cheekily pinching my cheek.

I ask Taylor to join me to discuss the security arrangements for the evening as I have asked him to work with the team, you can't be too careful. With a family so well known as mine, and the enemies I make in business, it is vital to keep my family safe. We make our way to my father's study to converse, where my father is just finishing off a call. Like my mother he to has that smile, the one to always make me feel safe, despite me being a grown man of 31. Shaking my father's hand we proceed with the discussion of tonight's event.

The security team leader for tonight is a man named Gordon Price, ex-military, built like the terminator, perfect and prepared as he hands me a pile of papers. What's this?

"The finalised guest list Mr Grey, Taylor and I have completed background checks on all attending. Also I have copies of the staffs checks. But in total, 350 guest sir"

I give my thanks and they leave. My father has left me a tumbler of scotch, I'm gonna need it to survive tonight.

Finally alone I take another look at this guest list, it's has changed a few times in the upcoming months, so I want to know if there's anyone worth meetings and avoiding. Taking a sip of scotch I come across something interesting and nearly choke on my drink. Well, well, well. It seems Miss Katherine Kavanagh will be in attendance with her family. Maybe this night won't be so crap?

 **I will try and make the chapters longer.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ok here goes nothing, the big reveal. Well part 1 of it. I gave a little more insight to Ana's bad luck. It will hofully start to unravel.**

 **Chapter 7 KPOV**

"Kate you really don't need to keep doing this! You said thank you with the lunch at HIghTIe, an over priced massage at that Escalva place with Botox Barbie senior and now you want to take me to some big swanky event thing? No more please" Ana begs when I try to invite her the Coping Together Gala I am attending with my parents. I know she feels shit about money, and I'd never push her and hurt her unlike those other bitches, but I want to make her feel she's worth it, cause she truly is. But she wont accept attending an event which is like £2,500 a plate. So instead we get a little tipsy and she helps me pick out my dress for tonight and get ready, in exchange for a night away from the drama of her family for the night. I feel so bad for Ana, and so many times I've begged her to move in with me, even her mom tried to encourage her, but she refused. Ana knows the strain of her moms illness and the fact that Izzy depends heavily on her mom and Ana to help with the boys, but she needs to start living her life to.

My mom sent over three dresses cause I haven't had chance to shop for a dress since my evil editor Janice has been kicking my ass, and I can't decide.

"The first dress has a full black shirt with a gold beaded halter top." I step out twirling, getting oohs and aws from Ana. It's nice but I don't want to feel nice.

"The second is a little sexy, red, plunging neck line" I step out in dress two, ok getting warmer.

"And finally this cream silk dress which I don't think I'll be able to pee in but hey who needs to pee when your tits look this good" I laugh, I love this dress it feels incredible. And Ana's applause and laughter is the final yes. Then she laughs so hard she falls off the bed and we are both in stitches!

I can always trust my best friend to help me out, I never want to look like a tramp. Sexy yes, sluttish no. Dress sorted, we start drinking while we work on my hair and makeup.

Suddenly though as time gets on I notice Ana seems a little anxious and the wine is making her a bit more brave, so I ask her what's wrong.

"This is the Coping Together Gala right?"

"Yup" where was this going?

"you know an event which is for the charity Christian Grey co-founded" Ana's eyebrows shoot up begging me to see the obvious.

Taking Ana by the shoulder I give her the best sisterly smile to reassure her, "Ana I get you're worried in case I bump into him, but he never turns up to these events. He always sends a cheque and some guy on stage sends his apologies on his behalf. So no we won't get caught, and I'd deal with it if we did ok?"

She nods and gives a nervous smile. She's not convinced.

"Look chick, you did me a huge favour that I truly appreciate, but this was my problem so if the shit falls I'll deal with it, not you!" And with that I give my vulnerable looking friend a hug, and we get back to laughing and hair and makeup.

An hour or so later I am dressed for the ball thanks to my fairy godsister and I walk downstairs to the car my parents sent over. If it wasn't for the free booze I so wouldn't be going. I love my family but they are so bloody overbearing! I'll probably spend a few hours watching in horror as my stupid brother flirts with all the socialite skanks, my mom and dad being all business and shmoozing for contacts while I sit get drunk and bat off all the creepy single new-money rich boys. Urgh!

When we finally arrive my brother who was supposed to escort me - my parents idea - he made a beeline for some slut in an indecent black dress, if you'd call it that. Well my brothers a tramp, they suit each other. So I go in search of the bar or nearest waiter with champaign. When I down the champaign I decide I need something better, I wish Ana was here it would be so much fun. I might come from a rich family and has a taste for the good stuff but these events piss me off.

So now I sit at the bar, waiting for the Gala to start so I can take my seat with my family who are nowhere in site. I twirl the ice in my vodka tonic, thinking about my idea. It's a bit of a secret, only Ana knows that I want to start my own magazine. I've been working on a business plan for a while, and I'm still working out the kinks.

"You look like you're having fun" a deep voice chuckles next to me.

I'm about to flip him the bird when I look up and see a friendly looking guy sat next to me. Friendly yes, but did I forget to mention he's yummy? Stunning green eyes, short messy blonde curls and a smile that would make me weak at the knees if I wasn't sat down. He's waiting for a reply Kate!

"Oh yeah I'm having a blast! I just hide it well!" I take a sip of my drink and smile.

My mystery guys smile gets bigger as does mine. Oh shit I think I'm blushing, my cheeks are burning.

"I know how you feel, but you see I have a secret weapon" he says

"And what may that be?" I ask.

Suddenly he leans in closer and whispers, "I know where the games room is to this place. If you want to come play with me, you're more then welcome!"

Holy fuck! Do I want to play with him...yes please!

He's still really close to me and he smells amazing. Damn it! So I bite my lip to stop from laughing too loud, "I might just take you up on that offer. Should we have some kind of signal for when we get bored here?"

Instead of answering he reaches into his pocket and slides a card into my hand and walks away cocking his eyebrows in a challenging way.

Who the hell was that? I look behind me to watch him walk away, nice ass, that's an added bonus.

Looking at the card I find it's his business card with his phone number. Game on Mr Elliot Grey, I smile and make my way to find my family, actually feeling good about the night ahead of me.

Christ my mom signed me up for this stupid first dance auction, how degrading? I've got to stand there like some show horse and prance around so some bald creepy rich bastard can pay to dance, in which he will stair at my boobs and grab my ass, which pushing me closer to this erect pencil dick! Urgh kill me now please!

But oh it's good for charity and a bit of fun. Yeah right. I need a drink.

Making my way to the back of the stage, having been herded up for the betting I watch in disgust at the girls in line all giddy and bouncing like spaniels at the idea of some douche bag paying to dance. I force myself not to throw my drink at them. Keep cool Kavanagh. Katherine Kavanagh. Katherine Kavanagh. Oh crap that's me, well her goes nothing.

Those bright lights hit me in the face like a frying pan, and the guy on stage is saying how I'm apparently a gymnast and speak 7 languages and take pottery classes, God is that what men look for?

Suddenly some guy yells, "$1000"

Then another guy, $2000"

"$5000"

I can hear the crowd going wild as the number now go higher.

"$10,000" another guy yells. What?

"$20,000" this is humiliating, whoever wins better be hot.

"For Gods sake $100,000" holy shit, what the fuck?!

Going. Going and I'm sold.

The master of ceremony is so excited, "Miss Katherine Kavanagh sold for a record breaking $100,000 to Mr Christian Grey, congratulations"

I feel all the colour drain from my face. Did he just say what I think he just said? No! No! No! This can't be happening! Please, no! Ok, keep cool Kate, stay strong. Don't add broken ankle to your humiliation and anxiety if you fall off the frigging stage for not paying attention. As I walk toward the end of the stage, a very handsome guy approaches me. Those grey eyes, copper hair and dazzling smile are unmistakable, having done research on the guy. Yup it is indeed Mr Christian Grey, and it looks like I have nowhere to escape. I'm actually nervous, crap I think I'm sweating.

"Miss Kavanagh-" he gives me his hand to help me down, "- we meet again." Then looking me up and down he adds, "but apparently you have dyed you're hair blonde and grown six inches since our last meeting"

Kill me, kill me now! Oh fuck, I'm a deer caught in the headlights, I am completely fucked! I can't even string a coherent sentence together, I think I mumble something to him.

Smirking, knowing he had me cornered he leans down and whispers, "I think you and I need to have a little chat, don't you?"

"Uh-I-Mr Grey-this-um-" for gods sake woman get it together!

"You have thirty minutes to pull yourself together and get your story straight or I am going to phone your editor and have a chat about an impostor who came to my office" and with a sweet smile he turned on his heel and left.

Shit! Shit! Double shit!


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok so here is Mr Grey's response when he discovers the truth. I'm gonna warn you the chapter ends on a wtf note, but please have a little faith, I am going for a HEA but not asap. So yeah there's gonna be lots of confusion and mistakes and more confusion. But I want there to be a bit more of a struggle to reach that light at the end of the tunnel. Also nothing comes easy in life, both the characters especially Ana, need to grow and get some nuts lol**

 **Chapter 8 CPOV**

When I saw Katherine's name on the guest list I was speechless! Never did I imagine seeming her outside of my fantasies, but there in black and white was her name. I won't lie I was eager as hell to see her, especially in some stunning dress that showcased all that natural beauty, but when the guests finally arrived I couldn't find her. Every petite brunette I stalked, hoping to hit the jack pot, but to no avail. So I just zoned out and pouted like a kid because I didn't get what I wanted, I knew I should have just sent a cheque. Maybe I could just leave early? But no, instead my stupid ass brother dragged my ass to bid on some so called 'hot as hell honies' for the first dance auction. God how stupid, just a chance for some old rich bastards to have an excuse to feel up some younger model while their fat old wives sit and watch.

But when the master of ceremony suddenly announces the next girl I nearly get whiplash with how fast I look towards the stage. She was here, she was coming on stage, I held my breathe in anticipation. As a woman in a fitted cream dress floated on stage, the spot light hit straight on her.

What the fuck?!

Who the hell is that?

Katherine Kavanagh isn't this tall blonde parading on stage, she's a petite brunette, I would know I sat with her for more then 30 minutes. What the hell was going on? What's happening? How is this happening? Who is that? Surely there can't be two Katherine Kavanagh's in Seattle? Is she an imposter? I need to know, and now!

Suddenly the bindings start and I see this as my chance to get my answers, she will have to answer when I've paid for her company. Now I am in business mode, and I always get what I want when it means business. And right now I have some major fucking business with this tall blonde!

$100,000 I paid for this, she better bloody tell me what's happening. And by the look on her face she looked frightened as fuck, she was hiding something and I will find out what it is! If not there's always plan B, throw her in the trunk of my car! Did I forget to mention I always get what I want?!

It's now time for the first dance I won, time for some answered bitch! I now have Miss Kavanagh or whoever she is right where I want her, nervous as hell, and I now approach her table to claim my dance and explanation.

I made sure Taylor made sure she didn't make a quick escape, and luckily she is still sat with her family. Putting on the old Christian Grey charm for the parents I go and claim their daughter for our dance. Being the perfect gentleman until we hit the dance floor, away from those who could hear. Pulling her forcefully towards me and squeezing her hand tight I wait until some jazz number starts to begin my interrogation. I am in full CEO mode as I look down, at the nervous woman in my arms.

"Firstly I want to know who you are. I'm talking full name, date of birth and job description" I demand bluntly as we spin around the dance floor.

She looks away and huffs, "ok, my name is Katherine Agnes Kavanagh, my date of birth is the 2nd April, 1989. And my job description is that of a reporter for the Seattle Times. Happy?" She's finally found her bearings. And balls!

"Not at all" I laugh without humour, "as I didn't have Katherine Kavanagh interview me. So tell me who was in my office?"

Taking a audible gulp her pupils are huge, like she is ready to protect this person. So I say coldly when she doesn't answer, "I wasn't asking, I am demanding you tell me."

"I can't, I can't tell you. She's my friend and this was my fault she was trying to help me out, so please can't we just fix this together? Leave her out of this!" She rush, she's protecting her friend. That has me slightly shocked. I've never really seen loyalty outside of my family.

"She's not dangerous though? I mean from the way you are keeping her a secret anyone in my position would automatically think the worse. So no, I need to know the identity of that woman, or believe me I will find out myself" and I would, now that the plot just thickened I am even more intrigued to know who she is.

Katherine narrows her eyes as I dip her down and continue dancing, I think she's aware of what I am capable of and just how far I will go to get what I want.

"Why is it so important you know my friends name? We, you and I, can sort this out, please, without her, she doesn't need the hassle. Please I'm asking you" She's in panic mode, protecting her friend. What does she mean this girl doesn't need the hassle? What's happened to her?

After a minute I decide to answer, "your friend left quite an impression if I'm honest" and I was, I haven't been able to get her off my mind. And the music has finally come to an end.

But Katherine looks taken aback. At what? The fact that I basically said I liked her friend, or the fact that I paid her friend a compliment? Or the fact that I stopped threatening her? Instead she gives me a shy smile and looks like she may cry, wow women are so strange.

"She is amazing and she doesn't even know it-" then she bites her lip and frowns like she's debating her next step, "-what would you do if I gave you her name?"

Well I couldn't tell her the absolute truth of what I have in mind, she'd have my balls on a plate if she knew.

I blow out a sigh and smile, "well I'm thinking friendly conversation for starters" and I did like talking to her, it would be fun to continue that part, "but future wise, I guess we'd have to wait and see where it goes. My fortune telling skills are pretty crap"

She laughs at my attempt at a joke, breaking the ice so much more. "Ana, her name is Ana. Anastasia Steel, and she is my best friend. You hurt her Grey in any way and I will have no problem beating you to death. Got it?" She has squared her shoulders and giving me a threatening look, total momma bear mode.

Laughing out loud, causing many people to look, I give her a nod and escort her to her table. I leave smiling like a fool, Christian Grey always got what he wanted, and now I just need to drop Welch an email.

 **Still CPOV but later that night**

On my way home I find myself saying two words over and over. Anastasia Steele. Beautiful name for a beautiful girl. I can already imagine screaming it when I fuck her mouth with her hands cuffed together. Or fucking her over my glass desk, her breasts squashed against the cool glass as I recreate the vision I had during our interview, and finally finding my release and yelling her name. I have big plans for her, I might have to jot a few down and make some new purchases once she's signed my contract. One thing I want from her which I don't allow from my other previous subs is for her to talk. I have no interest in what my subs think, they are there for me and me only, but Anastasia, I find her intellect and sarcasm amusing.

Loosening my bow tie and unbuttoning the top buttons of my shirt I step into the elevator and punch in the code, feeling the relief of finally going home. When the doors finally open I'm greeted with the stench of overly strong French perfume, and I stop dead in my tracks.

Oh god please no, I silently pray my instincts are wrong. But as I creep closer to the great room, what the hell this is my home and I'm creeping, I know I am unfortunately right.

"Elena what are you doing here?" I can't keep the anger out of my voice, the nerve of her sometimes.

Instead she turns to me smiling, flicking her peroxide locks in an apparently seductive manner, ugh! "Why Christian is that anyway to greet your friends?" She purrs, closing her legs and making her skimpy dress ride up higher. Does she have no dignity? I mean ok she looks good for her age, having purchased all the of it, but mutton is not good dressed as lamb.

"Well when you come into my house uninvited, while I am not even here and make yourself at home, then yes I'm gonna act with some hostility. So again what are you doing here?" I say flinging my jacket on the chair and go to grab myself a beer.

Stretching her arms along the back of my sofa, deliberately pushing up her fake tits, she smirks in a mischievous way. Oh hell.

"Well I wanted to just drop by and find out how the lovely Megan Stevens is doing? And it just so happened she was in the area and desperate for your special touch" she smiles sweetly.

Oh shit, I told Megan to wait for my call and now she is here and I suddenly feel an overwhelming wave of guilt. It's not like I'm even dating Anastasia, but Katherine's threat makes me feel bad so how. You don't do hearts and flowers Grey! You fuck, hard, feelings don't exist. For all you know these feelings for Anastasia could be just one sided, she will probably tell me to go fuck myself if I ask her to be my submissive. So what? Take a chance on Miss Steele with the risk of her saying no and me losing a great sub?

"If it's any help-" Elena leans forward squashing her boobs together, "- I know from experience that she tastes incredible, and if she's as good as she was while I trained her then she must be legendary by now. So get you're ass up there and do what you do best!"

If it wasn't for the fact that Elena would be turned on, I'd have great joy beating the shit out of her with a cane. Sometimes she takes things too far, and she knows how to push my buttons.

And right now she could read me like an open book, I was confused and maybr I could do with a heavy session in my playroom. Clear my mind?

Fuck!

I make my way upstairs, getting closer and closer to the door, and I feel myself dragging my feet. I don't do feelings! I don't do relationships! I need to open the door.

In the deductive light of my playroom I see Miss Stevens kneeling in front of me. Her hair braided and draped over her shoulder grazing her luscious breasts. I walk further into the room and take her in, she is a fine sight. The Dom in me is edging his way forward, pushing away the thoughts of hearts, flowers, love, and filling me with raw animalistic lust.

Fuck, she's wearing a deep blue lace thong. I've always had a weakness for lace, especially ripping it off.

I am suddenly changed into my ripped faded jeans and approach the naked back of Miss Stevens.

"I await your instructions sir" she whispers.

Here we go.


	9. Chapter 9

**Now this is a short chapter lol but just a small insight into that of my Elena. Also I'm thinking of putting together a Pinterest page, note to all my cast is completely different apart from two actors lol**

 **Chapter 9 EPOV**

When I heard Christian hadn't contacted Megan all week I was concerned. This wasn't like him, he worked hard and fucked hard and Megan was perfect. I've trained her since she was 17 and I've groomed her well. Hardly any hard limits, has a tolerance to pain that made even me speechless, she was a girl after my own heart. So what the fuck was his problem? She's perfect.

I knew what Christian liked and I train them all just for him, he deserves the best, cause let's face it he's the best I've ever had. There was only one way to get that stick from out of his ass and that was a house call, he could never refuse me. And I love being right all the time. He left dutifully like the good boy he was, and I haven't heard a peep in over two hours. God I miss that stamina, that boy was like a machine.

I've helped myself to the wine, knowing he has great taste and wonder around the apartment. Damn him for making the place soundproof, I'd love the hear what's happening. I can only imagine, I smile smugly and clench my thighs together.

Suddenly there's s bang and Christian is steaming to his office sweating like a pig. What the hell? I look in the playroom and find Megan in her wrapping the grey robe around herself and looking upset. Hang on this isn't right. He couldn't have hurt her, she had balls of fucking steel! So I go after Christian, again knowing him well enough, he's in his study.

He's facing the window, with a scotch in hand, breathing heavily. I cough to make myself known.

"Not now Elena. I need you to take Miss Stevens and leave" he says with no emotion, not looking at me.

"Christian darling -" I won't be thrown out without answers.

"Elena!" He yells finally looking at me, he looks so lost, "just go!"

So I do, for now. How dare he, who does he think he is dismissing me? I'll leave him to his little temper tantrum and get my answers another time.

Going back to the playroom I throw Megan her coat, "put this on" I command and she does, following me to the elevator.


	10. Chapter 10

**Ok I thought I'd step in here and say a few words. So Elena is disgusting, I have a real hatred towards child abusers, kind of like Ana. So for me she had to be this really sickening creature! Like Christian was 15 when she first got him, she's been training other subs since they were younger, and Megan was 17, at present she is 27. For me, I'm a very cynical person, no one just changes over night, so yes Christian is confused as hell, fighting his old urges with this confusing new emotion. But he couldn't do it, he felt guilty, another new emotion. But he might not have been able to have sex with her but he still likes the punishment side. So that's another area to tackle in the future. we shall be hearing from Ana soon, who also is confused as hell! Note to all, I did but a bit of reality into this, and no one gets anything that easy, life is a struggle. So both A and C will struggle towards each other. Also made up details, I don't know Seattle.**

 **Chapter 10 CPOV**

I decide to check my mail and look at what Welch has dug up. I need a distraction, the last one didn't help. Clicking the attachment I have what I want. Let's see who you are Miss Steele.

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Peter Welch

 **Subject:** background check

 **Mr Grey I have the information you required. If there is anything else let me know.**

 **Anastasia Rose Steele**

 **DOB:** 10/9/1989

 **Address:** 65, Woodstock Street, Seattle

 **Mobile no:** 356 456 2897

 **Social Security no:** 333-66-899

 **Marital status:** Single

 **Family**

 **Father:** Franklin Andrew Lambert

 **DOB:** 2/5/1964

 **Mother:** Carla May Wilks

 **DOB:** 18/6/1966

 **M:** Franklin Andrew Lambert 16/6/1984, DIVORCED 23/4/1990

 **M:** Raymond James Steele 12/6/1991, WIDOWED 3/9/2000

 **Siblings**

 **Sister:** Sophia Bell Kingston

 **DOB:** 21/1/1985

 **Spouse:** David Steven Kingston

 **Children:m** Cody Matthew Kingston aged 7, Skye Tiana Kingston aged 5 and Brody Steven Kingston aged 3

 **Sister:** Isabelle May Steele

 **DOB:** 17/5/1987

 **Children:** /strong Alexander James Steele aged 8, William Raymond Steele aged 6, Mackenzie Carlson Steele aged 5 and Joshua Michael Steele aged 2

 **Education**

BA (honours) English Literature WSU Vancouver

 **GPA:** 4.0

 **Employment**

Shop assistant, Clayton's Hardware Store: 2006-2007

Waitress, Aroma: 2009-2010

Call centre, Pink ribbon foundation: 2011-2012

Waitress, Marilyn's Cafe: 2012-2012

Housekeeping, Beachwood Inn: 2012-2013

Shop assistant, Black lace: 2013-2013

Barista, Coffee2go: 2013-2013

 **Health**

Admitted to hospital in 1/10/2000 for suspected epilepsy

Admitted to hospital in 4/2/2001 and required stitches to the heard

Currently a patient of therapist Dr Faye Carter.

 **There is a lot on the family sir, especially the mother, father and sister. Would you require background checks on them as well?  
**

 **...**

Well, that wasn't what I expected. The girls had her fair share of shit in her life. No wonder Kate was so protective. There are so many questions running through my head. Maybe I can help, well the job situation I could be of assistance.

And what does he mean there is more on the family, what have I gotten myself into? I can't judge just yet until I have the full infomation. I feel a pang of sadness for this girl, suddenly I can see what the sadness was behind those beautiful eyes, shes been out of luck. Behind that wall of sarcasm was something much more soft and vulnerable. I shouldn't be taking or thinking about taking someone innocent on this dark path, here's comes the confusion again. I need to see her again, even if it's just once more to get her out of my system, find out if there is a chance or not.

Right good plan Grey, now you know the truth which you can tease Miss Steele about, we need to make a final assessment. I am after all a business man, I won't invest in a product if I haven't evaluated and studied it first, and I won't have a repeat of what happened tonight.

I spent two hours! Two hours with Miss Steven, teasing her, testing her, pushing her pain threshold. Just her pain threshold. But when it came to fucking her I kept hearing Kate's threat in my head in regards to her friend. So I found I couldn't perform, and that never fucking happens! Fuck I need to talk to Flynn. This is confusing and I don't like it.

First things first before I email and schedule a session with Flynn, oh and Bastille, I need a chance encounter with Anastasia. I need a trace on her, her phone, and wherever she is tomorrow, I will just happen to be there. Christ so now I'm confused and a stalker, what is happening to me?


	11. Chapter 11

**So you start to learn a little bit more about Ana and her past. I have this annoying habit at the moment of making my chapters about one persons experience, so if it happens to be brief I end the the chapter and move on to the next experience. What I might try and do I post a few chapters to make up for their shortness. So here's Ana's side.**

 **Chapter 11 APOV**

It's been two weeks since I interviewed the arrogant, yet pretty Mr Grey, and the bastard is still on my mind. Though I feel I handled the meeting very very well, I keep replaying it, thinking I could have said more or less or something different. Stop dwelling Ana! It's over...sadly.

Though that sexy smirk and those haunting grey eyes are helping to keep my mind off the lack of job opportunities and the fact that my sister is having some problems with her boys. Yes I may never see him again, but a fantasy is better then nothing. Besides a guy like that would never be interested in a girl like me. I mean come on, I'm plain, tomboyish and I actually eat. His type is probably that of size 0 model (I haven't been that small since I was a foetus) who eats water and air, perfect hair, perfect skin perfect blah blah blah, and the only power tool I bet she's ever used is a curling iron. Me on the other hand, having been raised by a single mother, and having lost my step-dad Ray too early, I was educated on how to build fences, make furniture, get dirty and have no nails.

So instead I will rely on those selfish fantasises of those toned arms holding me close and it feels incredible. The shower is my only sanctuary to live out this desire, I don't fancy my family bursting in on me moaning Mr Grey's name as I pleasure myself. Oh no best to save that for a place with a locked door. And apparently though I am 25, I am not allowed a lock on my door! What's that about?

So I'm having my time out, my me time, washing away all the failure and depression, and allowing myself some pleasure for once. Suddenly when I just starting to quiver, getting closer, my mom bursts into the bathroom to grab the hairdryer, yelling a quick sorry.

Fuck, I thought I locked the door! Thank God you can't see through the shower curtain. Can a girl have no privacy to please herself?

This is what sucks about living at home, no privacy. And my build up begins to fade. The only thing for me is gone for now. Ok I'm not so big on the whole dating scene, never have been, I find it hard to look anyone in the eye, blush all the time and I can't flirt for shit. But if I was dating, how are you supposed to fool around? Hey fancy coming back to my moms house, that's a boner killer right there. This is one of the many reasons I've remained a virgin for twenty-five years. I have never had any confidence in myself what so ever, my sisters were always the confident rebellious beautiful ones. The boys always fell at their feet. But not me. I shied away from anything rebellious, and men frightened me. My family has a lot of bad experiences with men, lots of violence and abandonment. Even my own dad didn't want me.

When I finish in the shower, my orgasm scared away, I get dressed in my comfy jeans and loose white shirt, teaming it off with my grandad cardigan and flip flops. I don't bother drying my hair now and resort to just pulling it into a bun and make my way downstairs where my nephews are sliding down the banister.

As they have a week off school my family decide to take a walk to the local market and browse some shops before having some food. It sounds perfect, but I guarantee with my family someone ends up crying. My nephews run amuck, my sister yells, my mum hides in embarrassment and I'm usually there like what the fuck?

So here I am pushing Joshua in his pushchair, who is screaming to come out and play with his brothers. I keep telling those passing by with sympathetic faces, ha he ain't mine. That's another thing, because I have two sisters who have children, everyone asks "so when are you going to add to the bunch?" I don't think so. I think I'm the first girl in my family to surpass 18 without getting knocked up. That and being a university graduate. Though that's nothing apparently.

I just want to go to a bookshop. My little slice of heaven. My favourite is just a round the corner, so I plan to make an escape there in a bit. Suddenly my mum comes up behind me and wraps her arm around my shoulders, this is our little code for 'that's life'. We give each other a sneaky smile and continue to walk on, following the high pitched chirps of the boys.

"I'm hungry!"

"Mom can I have that?"

"I need a pee!"

"Ahhhhh"

Don't ask me who said what, all I can see is my sister looking annoyed and the boys bouncing around her like hungry baby birds. She catches me laughing.

"It's no funny Ana! Be an Auntie and help me out!" her voice breaks slightly, telling me she's on the verge of tears. Being a single mum is hard, I've witnessed both my mum and sister raise children alone. Another reason for my attitude towards men, I swear it would be so much easier if I were gay. But no despite men being annoying, they can be pretty.

When the terrors are fed, watered and toileted I excuse myself to nip to the bookstore. Luckily no one will follow. It's too small to fit the pushchair and Izzy usually gets kicked out for giving everyone evil looks when the boys are running around.

Opening the door with the adorable bell chiming, I weave my way through the stocked shelves, taking in that amazing smell of used books. I could get lost for hours just looking and spend a fortune, but I can only look. Well maybe one wouldn't hurt. And I know just the one.

Found you, on the top shelf no less, great. I will have to be totally unladylike and climb up or on something. But first I stretch up on my tip toes, nearly there. Why build shelves so bloody high? I'm tempted to just jump and grab it. Until a mans hand towered over me, taking hold of the book and pulling it down. Great now I'm a damsel in distress.

"Thanks" I say as I turn to thank my hero only to nearly choke on my own words.

"Miss Kavanagh, what a lovely suprise." Smirks the very yummy Mr Grey. Mr Grey! Mr Christian Grey! Mr Billionaire Arrogant Sexy as hell Christian Grey, here right in front of me! Coming to my rescue! Please say I'm being punked? This is some evil joke! it has to be! My cheeks warm up and get hotter until I feel like I'm on fire. I never thought I'd see this man again, well not in the flesh, and yet here he is looking straight into my soul. I'm in trouble. What do I do? Christ woman think!

"Mr Grey-" God my voice is so high, I sound like a gerbil on helium, "-what. You're here. In a bookshop. Why?"

He cocks his head to the side and laughs, "well it's a free country Miss Kavanagh"

Oh shit he still thinks I'm Kate! Why wouldn't he you tit, you did tell him you were Kate! Crap! Kate said I wouldn't have to deal with him, I'm unprepared. Shit I'm sweating. What do I do? Abort! Abort! Find escape!

When I don't reply he continues, he looks like he's having fun at my expense, "so how have you been? I managed to read your article and I must say I was impressed"

Ouch that struck a nerve! Does he see me as some dumbshit? I could be a journalist pal, don't judge me.

Now I've got my mojo back a bit, "I'll take that as the only compliment you are capable of Mr Grey" and I gesture towards the book I want that he is still holding.

When I finally have what I want it's time to take my leave. At least in my fantasy he didn't mock me. Prick!

"You seem, upset, did I offend you in some way" shit was it that obvious I was pissed?

"Not at all Mr Grey, in fact I want to thank you for your help with the book. But now if you'll excuse me I must go, I have more impressive articles to complete" and just as I am about to make yet another sassy exit, the shit hits the fan.

Mackenzie comes barrelling into the bookstore, yelling "Auntie Ana! Auntie Ana where are you?" Oh my God he was gonna blow my cover.

Don't look at Grey! Don't look at him! If I do he will know, he will know something is wrong and he will probably be furious! Crap will he tell Kate's editor? Oh shit, what do I tell Kate? She's gonna get fired and it will be all my fault! Fuck!

Skidding into view is Mackenzie, his mousey brown curls bouncing in excitement having now found me. I can't be mad, he doesn't know.

"There you are Auntie Ana! Moms upset because Alex and Will are fighting and Josh spilt juice over himself! We need to go now!" well great not only did he rat me out, but Mr Grey got a small glimpse at my life and I have nothing to shield me from the embarrassment. Well when you have little left, you have nothing to lose. Time to face the music. I tell Mackenzie I will be there now, I need to fix this. Mr Grey looks annoyed. Understandable. I did lie to him. Trespassed into his office. Impersonated a reported for the Seattle Times. Slap the cuffs on and take me now, I'll come quietly. But his eyes looks mischievous, like he is enjoying this. Me gaping like a fish, closing my mouth and trying to swallow the humiliation.

"Uh-I-ugh-ahhhh" I get exasperated with myself, "look Mr Grey I can explain. And I know I have no right to ask this having lied to you, but please don't get Kate in trouble. It's my fault I offered. Please don't let her lose her job." I know I sound desperate, but I am. Take it out on me that's fine, but it's not fair for Kate to lose her job! She worked so hard and she just got stuck, it was a mistake.

Suddenly the anger is gone and he's pouting almost, thinking of a punishment maybe? Brace yourself Steele!

But then he smiles, is that good? Isn't that what the killer in films does, lures the victim into a false sense of security then hits then with a mallet and stuffs them and turns them into furniture? Oh my God I'm gonna end up as a fucking chair or lamp!

"I will let this slide on one condition." He says sweetly

"Ok, let's have it" I fake confidence, I'm not scared really. No you will not piss your pants in fear Ana!

"Have coffee with me" He answers.

What the fuck? I can feel my forehead crease. That's it? Coffee! I imagined having to do some crap job for no pay or something worse like sucking his dick. Not coffee. Unless he plans to poison it! Crap I can feel more killer stories coming to mind. I'm so surprised I laugh, and decline. I can't go for coffee now, not when my family is near by and going crazy. Can't he not hear them or see them, the boys are probably swinging on trees or mooning us.

"Dinner then, tomorrow night" he challenges cocking his eyebrows.

Suddenly the flirtation is dampened by my evil self-conscious! Why? Why would he want dinner with you? There has to be an ulterior motive.

"You're serious?" I ask nervously

His answering smile is actually sweet, when he answers simply, "very".

I don't think I can answer with words because I'm shocked and suspicious, it's so confusing. So I nod timidly. Then he asks for my number and the suspicion in back. I give him my email instead, "I don't know you well enough, yet" and I hand him my email address and turn for the counter, I think I might actually treat myself to the book.

As I wait in line a warm voice purrs in ear, "I'm glad Miss Kavanagh couldn't make the interview", Mr Grey lifts his head and winks before turning to leave the store! I'm left shell shocked.

As I walk out of the store to join my family my phone suddenly vibrates. Looking down I can see I have an email. The screen reads:

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** With time, food and wine we can build some trust.

I smile like a school girl and slip my phone into my pocket, I'll read it later when I'm alone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 APOV**

I have a date! My first date! Wait is it a date if it's more of an apology for pissing someone off? Hmm maybe I'll ask Kate! That's lame! Maybe I'll google it! Oh my God that's even worse! This is what happens when you wait 25 years to start dating, you make the mistakes earlier so by now you should be a pro! Ok stop panicking, he might even cancel, so play it cool.

But when my phone bings with an email alert I can't help the flutter in my stomach. I've had a few false alarms, a couple of job rejections and stupid adverts for laser treatment. But this ones from him.

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** Grateful distractions

Hello Miss Steele, I hope you had a good night? I must say mine was pretty good, as a beautiful brunette with baby blue eyes and a wicked tongue have been on my mind.

Holy shit! I've been on his mind?! He's probably just saying that, damn the cynical side of my brain. I've never been able to take a compliment, Faye my therapist is always on my case about me giving myself such a hard time. Ok now you need to reply because it's been like ten minutes of you arguing with yourself about his motives, my paranoia, and you probably seem rude. So email him and play nice.

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** Happy helper

Hello to you to Mr Grey, I have had a decent night, thank you for asking. Maybe I should apologise for monopolising your thoughts when they should be on business. I do hope your empire is still intact due to you're day dreaming.

A laugh as I click send. If you think I'm gonna send bashful words and swoon at your message you've got another thing coming pal. Almost instantly there is a reply. Shouldn't this guy be working instead of emailing me?

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** Rome is still standing

I can assure you I employ very talented people to ensure my company runs smoothly. In fact my day dreaming as you say has lead me to do something shocking...I was caught smiling. Never happened in my office.

I've got us a reservation for 8pm, I will pick you up, so I'll need your address.

The first part had me laughing more, I can imagine those blondes shattering to pieces at the site of him smiling! It is quite a sight. But then I read the last part. No! No! He can't come here, not my house! Not my house where I live with my mom! Firstly there's the embarrassment, yes I love my mom and I'm not ashamed to live with her, but still. I'm ashamed because I feel people look at me and laugh! People my age should be out getting promotions and houses and marriage, and I'm living at home.

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** Did they turn to stone?

I can imagine the shock your staff must have felt, maybe it's a sign that you should smile more?

Also where are we going?

If he tells me where we are going I can check the distance from the train or bus station.

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** Curious much?

The Mile High Club. Is that ok?

Wow that's an expensive as hell place...damn! I don't want him to pay, but I'll look like a skank if I say can we go somewhere different, like somewhere cheap. It's ok, a salad won't be that expensive, will it? Don't panic! Just breathe Ana!

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** Of course

Cool, I'll meet you there. Gotta go, see you at 8pm

I shut off my phone for now. I won't argue back and forth in regards to him picking me up. I can get there on my own, and that way I can leave if I get uncomfortable.

Ok it's still early so I do some research. I can get the train which is good, much quicker, so far so good. But when I look on the website for this Mile High Club my eyes bug out of my head. There is no way I can go, I can't afford it and I'm gonna look like a total tramp going there. I can't even afford to pee in a place like that, and I expect them to let me in to dine? Shit the price of a pasta dish is more then I've paid for a pair of shoes. I need to get out of here, I need to talk to Kate. She'll give me kind words and alcohol.

I walk up to Kate's and buzz to buzzer to let her know I'm here. She sounded concerned when I texted asking for her help. When she buzzes me in I run up the stairs to meet her.

"Jesus Ana what's wrong? Are you ok? Has something happened?" She says in a rush as she ties the sash on her robe.

"Oh my God Kate I'm so sorry, am I interrupting?" Christ if she's got a guy in there and I'm delaying her fun...

"No chick I was gonna have a shower, get your ass in here" she grabs my hand and drags me inside, slamming the door.

Ok! Here it goes. Just tell her.

"Kate, I bumped into Christian Grey!" I'm hoping she doesn't go mad.

She doesn't, that's weird, maybe she's in shock. I continue, "don't worry I begged him not tell Janice about the interview. On one condition though, he asked me to go to dinner with him"

Kate's eyebrows shoot up and a smile of astonishment appears, "yeah I know shocking right? But anyway, Kate I'm out of my fucking league here, I mean look at me-" I stop my pacing and gesture to the hobo that is me, "- and look at him. He could have anyone! And I mean anyone, man, woman, anyone, so why me? So apart from the reality that we are chalk and cheese, he wants to pick me up which is a big fat no because my mom will probably answer the door and I would die on the spot, and plus he will see my little house when he probably has some 20 bedroom mansion with a room just for his ties. And then the fact that we're going to some place called the Mile Hile Club! Dude I can't afford that, and the staff will probably take one look at me and say "staff go round the back"! And what do I wear? I don't own nice clothes, I own comfy clothes. I can't do this Kate please help me!" I fall to my knees and pout. Christ if I knew dating was this emotional I'd check into spinsterville now!

Suddenly Kate is stroking my hair, and when I look up she gives me a lopsided smile. "First off Ana, never say you are not good enough because you are. Yes you ain't some socialite that Grey grew up with, but I bet none of those girls have ever built a fence or put down a patio?" We both laugh "you are so strong Ana, and not just physically. You can be strong for others but never for yourself, and you need to give yourself some of that strength from time to time. So what if you don't live in a mansion and piss on diamonds, you are worth more then any of those Paris Hilton wannabes. So Grey might have his money, but you have so much more that money could never buy. And he is lucky to have gotten a chance with you, no one else has made the cut. But let him pay for you, let someone else take care of you, even if it is for a few hours. As for the clothes issue, now there is an area I can help with" she takes my hand and leads me to her room where she opens up her walk-in closet.

"Now, it's your chance to be Cinderella for the night. And bitch your fairy godsister is gonna make you look fan-fucking-tastic" Kate laughs as she starts pulling pieces and throwing them at me.


	13. Chapter 13

**So here is my date scene. Hope you like it, sorry for the shortness. I take my hat off to you guys who can write monster long chapters lol excuse any mistakes**

 **Chapter 13 CPOV**

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** Of course

Cool, I'll meet you there. Gotta go, see you at 8pm

Ugh I don't think so. Like hell I'm gonna let her take the train/bus/taxi alone at night.

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** My mother would be furious.

A gentleman always escorts a lady my mother always said and I'm not letting you take public transport, it's not safe.

What's your address?

I know it already and I just need her to tell me so I don't look like a freak for just turning up at her house. But there's no reply. I hate waiting, but I try to be patient.

It's been ten minutes and I'm going insane. Why hasn't she emailed me back? I ring her to see if she's there. Oh great her phone is switched off. Frustrating, stubborn ass woman! Fine she wants to play that game, fine! I press the intercom on my desk.

"Yes Mr Grey" says Andrea

"Ask Taylor to come here please" I ask

"Right away sir" and she's gone.

A minute later Taylor knocks and enters my office.

"I need surveillance on someone Taylor, someone discreet and trustworthy, and I need them today" I demand. If she wants to be independent that's fine, but I'll have someone keep an eye on her. You can't be too careful, the subway is dangerous these days.

"Yes sir. Who is the target?" He asks in his military manner, hands behind his back.

"Miss Steele. I will give you the address. He is to keep an eye on her as she travels to our date and if she refuses a ride home as I suspect she will, then he must make sure she gets home safely. Understood?"

There's a ghost of a smile on Taylor, I've never seen that before, but them he's probably not heard of someone defying me, "Yes sir. Will that be all?"

"Yes, thank you" and with that he leaves.

At 7:45 I am outside the Mile High Club, as the owner I thought I'd check up on it while I'm here. I've made several requests for tonight, discovering Miss Steele is a vegetarian, I wanted to make sure she had options. I also wanted privacy, not that I'm ashamed, it's just being a notorious bachelor, a picture of me with a woman is gold!

Taylor informed me that his guy Luke Sawyer would be watching over Miss Steele, and yes I was right the stubborn mewl took the train. Sawyer has strict instructions to prevent any harm from coming to her, no matter what. But now she's on her way, I'm suddenly nervous! Strange I know, I'm never nervous! Women don't make me nervous, but as I wait downstairs for Miss Steele to arrive, I find myself looking towards the entrance every few seconds, hoping she didn't change her mind.

When I look up, I see her, and I sigh in relief. She looks stunning as she stands there looking anxiously around, there's no way I'd stand you up Miss Steele, not when you look that beautiful. When she finally notices me she gives me a beaming smile before looking down and blushing. I make my way towards her, taking all that splendour in. Her purple dress is like a second skin, and hugs her curves in all the right ways. Especially those hourglass hips which I am desperate grab and pull her to me. Instead of her wild wavy hair, she has teased it up into a messy bun with lose curls framing her face. And I couldn't forget the heels, the one that's make her legs go on for days, the heels that I can envisage around my neck.

Finally reunited I place my hand on that sexy hip and pull her gently towards me, giving her a chaste kiss on her cheek! Fuck she smells fantastic, it's like jasmine.

"Miss Steele" I whisper looking her up and down again, "you are quite a sight in that dress tonight"

Biting her lip she laughs, "why thank you Mr Grey, you're not so bad yourself" and she pulls back, making her way towards the elevators. I quickly fall into step next to her, placing my hand on the small of her back. The gesture feels good, comfortable, like my hand should always be there. But when the elevator finally comes and the doors close that comfortable feeling dissolves and is replaced by something much more powerful. With my hand still placed on Miss Steele's back it is taking everything I have not to push her against the wall and fuck her senseless, even with all these people here. They don't matter. Christ I can feel my dick twinge! Shit think of something! Elliot! Elliot getting his ass waxed! Yup that's working, keep that image, and swallow the vomit.

Finally we make it to our floor in a civilised manner and I direct her out. No way am I moving my hand away. And it stays there as we are shown our table in a private room. We exchange small talk while the waiter hovers annoying! Christ man take the hint and piss off, stop mooning over my date! When he finally takes a hike, not without taking a final look at my date, I start to relax.

"I'm going to be frank-" I start, but suddenly she starts giggling. Despite the lovely sound I'm confused as hell, what did I say? "Something amusing Miss Steele?"

Her cheeks are flushed, and teamed with that adorable giggle and that beautiful smile I know I'm a goner!

"I'm sorry. This is going to sound really stupid. But you made me think of that scene from Wayen's World..." She says, like I know what that means! What the hell is a Wayne's World?

When I probably look like a complete stump just sat there not answering she continues, "you know that blonde chick says to Garth "I'm gonna be frank" and then he says "ok can I still be Garth"" and then she starts laughing even harder. So much so she even snorts, that has me laughing to. Taking her napkin she dries her tears and takes a sip of water, the motion of her swallowing is unnerving. Damn she sure can swallow.

"I'm so sorry, that was embarrassing. What were you saying before I got weird? I will warn you that was a small sample of my strangeness" she shakes her head slightly, almost trying to get some focus.

I'm still taken back by her out burst and the fact that I am imagining her swallowing my load, shit Grey you freak.

"I was curious if you had a boyfriend?" I know her background check said single but you can't be too careful, and also I'd want to name of the bastard so he can be added to my shit list.

Licking her lip slightly, damn it woman stop it please! She shakes her head and scrunched her nose, "no Mr Grey I and carefree and single! And you? I don't really fancy the idea of being bitch slapped by your girlfriend/boyfriend for having dinner with you"

Oh she's gonna pay for that one. I can see the teasing in her eyes at the mention of a boyfriend. Well I did over react, it's just seriously, even my family who suspect haven't even asked. I was taken off guard. "Nope. No girlfriend for you to be frightened of, though my publicist tells me I have a very large gay fanbase, they may give you some hassle", I can play the sarcasm card too baby!

"Now that's out the way, I want to know more about you." But before she can as answer the waiter comes back, again making a beeline for Miss Steele, that just cut his tip in half, and he asks if we are ready to order.

As I came in earlier I made sure there were some delicious vegetarian choices, she seems amazed but then frowns slightly. So I tell her she can have what ever she wants, she still looks uncomfortable.

"Two of he mushroom ravioli with sautéed asparagus and walnuts with a basket of garlic herb bread and marinara sauce, and a bottle of the Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon. That will be all thank you" no leave little boy! And that he does with his tail between his legs. Miss Steele watches him go with a frown, then smirks at me.

"And if I didn't want what you ordered?" She suddenly crosses her arms in a defiant manner while cocking her head.

"Well I thought I'd give you a hand since you looked a little fish out of water staring at the menu. Plus if you had it your way you probably would order something stupid like a breadstick, something you feel you could pay for, because you seem anxious about money." Apart from the fact that I know her bank balance, I could see the panic as plain as day on that pretty face. It made me sad to think she too has suffered. And her silence is answer enough. I could look after her, give her everything, take that stress away.

But that embarrassment turns frosty, "do you always make such personal observations?" She snaps. I've hit a nerve.

It was never my intention to cause her pain, and behind that wall is pain, make it right Grey, "I didn't mean to offend you, I just wanted to have a pleasant evening with you, and that involved you not worrying. You seem to worrying a lot Miss Steele"

I think I've broken a little off that icy wall because a smile plays on the corner of those luscious lips, "please stop calling me Miss Steele, it makes me sound like I'm in a job interview or at a doctors appointment. My name is Ana." And she suddenly holds out her hand, a symbol for a fresh start perhaps? I take it mine and shake.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Ana, I'm Christain. Tell me about you. Shall we play twenty questions?" I laugh and she nods. So I take that as my cue since I suggested it. "What's your family like?"

"Hectic. Crazy. Overbearing...amazing. I have a small family, but they are my everything. My mom is the strongest woman I know-" she speaks with such pride, "- she raised us on her own mostly. I have an older sister and she has four boys, you met one of them. Umm that's it really" strange she didn't mention her oldest sister Sophia, and where is her father, grandparents, aunties and uncles? I can't pry though, not yet.

"Ok, lame to ask the same question, but what about your family. What are they like?" She asks as our food arrives. Again the nervousness returns, but only slightly. So to take her mind off the food and price I answer her question.

"My mom is a paediatrician and an amazing woman all round, she's also a bit overbearing but I know she means well. My dad is a lawyer, he has a very successful firm here in Seattle. I have two siblings, my older brother Elliot owns his own construction company and he's a complete ass like all big brothers should be. Then I have a little sister, well she's 27 now so not so little, but Mia studied fashion design in Paris and now own a boutique downtown." We both have this sense of pride for those we love, it's another nice to have that in common. She has been eating slowly while I've been talking, well at least she's eating, that's a start.

"It's your turn, chose wisely"

Biting her lip, I know she's got one, "what did you want to be when you were growing up? And I won't believe you if you say business man!"

Hmm well I was a little shit growing up, I hated being touched, I hated everyone, I liked to fight. So, ok sounds funny, but once my mom got me into kickboxing as a kid, I found an outlet. "Ok when I was a kid, I wanted to the the next Jean Claude Van Dam"

"Nice" she laughs nodding her head in agreement, "I've always loved that film Kickboxer, it's a favourite!" Hmmm another thing in common, who knew?

Now I've been dying to ask this question for a while, "what book/books made you fall in love with literature?" You can tell a lot from the books someone likes, and now I know she's not a sappy romantic, what does her taste say about her?

Looking down at her plate, she's nearly finished her pasta, good, at least she's had a good meal. But now she takes a swig of her wine, leaning back on her chair debating her answer. "Ok it's not so straight forward. There are books I love for certain reasons, some I'd rather not talk about. So one of the books I love is The Bell Jar. While I was studying I was introduced to a novel called If on a winters night a traveller, and the final one I'm gonna give you is The Monk." From those, none are romantic, in fact they are quite dark. I know I have two of the books, I might have to hunt down the other one. Alone in this room, we smile at each other, two lost souls.


	14. Chapter 14

**So here's Ana's reaction to the date, and her cynical attitude. If this all goes to plan and I complete my first story I promise if I do another one I will make a note to make my chapters much much longer. But it's still my first go!**

 **Chapter 14 APOV**

So, maybe I was wrong? Maybe there is life on planet Mars? Men have always been a touchy subject for me, no pun intended, I hate them yet fear them. As a kid the only fights, well physical fights I've been in have been with boys. When I was in school I was a quiet kid who kept herself to herself, was always in the library with my headphones and tape player. So I was an easy target. I remember being on a bus, my class was going on a school trip, and as I was walking to my seat one of the boys thought it would be funny to push me. I went down hard, hitting my head on the arm of the seats cutting my head open. My Mom and stepdad Ray always told us, don't start a fight but don't stand down from one, always defend yourself. The pain was blinding, all I saw was red, not just from the blood, but the rage. I was always picked on and everyone on the bus was laughing at me, so I remember standing up and running after the boy. He was sat in his seat still laughing, so I punched him square in the face, he crumpled to the floor in which case I started kicking him. Not caring that it was his face I was kicking. One of the teachers had to pull me off, I was screaming like an animal. When mom came she went mad on the teachers, for months she had told the school I was being bullied and they did nothing, no wonder I snapped. Twelve stitches later, mom took me out of that school.

Yet this guy in front of me is being nice. Actually having a conversation with me, laughing with me? Not at me? Why? I keep asking why? I don't want to ruin the moment by asking him why? But I'm so frightened, I'm relaxed around him, excited around him, yet I'm waiting for the punch line! When's it going to end?

I don't think I've smiled this much in ages, I don't feel the need to impress, even if he is a billionaire. Maybe it's the wine, it's taking the edge off slightly, and we talk freely. I have the feeling he doesn't do this often, talking I mean, having a conversation with another human being. Yeah he might do the business talk, but telling me he wanted to be Van Dam as a kid, don't think many people know that.

"Would you like any dessert?" Christian interrupts my internal debate. I'm so stuffed I think I'd explode if I ate any more, so I decline. Besides its getting late and I'm gonna need to make my way home. So ever the gentleman he helps me out of my seat and guides me out with his hand on my back. Now usually I'd smack anyone away for touching me, I remember in uni I went out with Kate and some guy was putting his hand up my skirt and I freaked. I grabbed his hand and twisted it around, making him drop to his knees in mercy. But with Christian, it feels right, like it's meant to be there. Savour it while it last my cynical side chides in.

Leaving the club the cold air hits me hard making me shiver, twat Ana why didn't you bring a coat? Oh well it won't take long to get home on the train. So I turn to Christain to make my leave, "thanks for tonight, I actually had fun"

He looks wounded in a comical way, "did you doubt my ability to keep you entertained Miss Steele?"

I laugh at his pouting, a billionaire who pouts. "I wouldn't dare Mr Grey. But really thanks. And so...we're even. You won't get Kate in trouble?" Please let him still be the nice guy I've just been laughing with!

Closing his eyes he nods giving me a small smile, "your secret is safe with me. I promise, I am a man of my word"

Ok I couldn't help myself, "pinky swear?"

"Christ I haven't done this in years, not since my sister made me swear not to tell our mom she had ruined moms favourite shoes. But, I pinky swear, I will not talk to Kate's editor" and with that his huge pinky wraps around mine and the feeling is indescribable.

When I release him I say goodnight and turn to leave, only to be stopped by two big hands taking my shoulders and steering me towards a black car parked near by.

"You really think I'd let you take the subway home?" Christian laughs as a tall terminator built man opens the cars back door.

Oh no here comes that stubborn pride, "I am more then capable of getting home on my own thank you" I cross my arms and cock my hip, taking a stand.

Smirking down at me from behind the car door he laughs, "I am well aware of your capabilities, however it's freezing, you've had some wine and it would be very irresponsible to let you go home alone. But...if you insist on the train then I will accompany you."

Christian Grey on the train?! Hahaha! Billionaire Mr Christian Grey riding the train with us normal people? I bet he's never even seen the subway. Maybe I'll take him sometime for a laugh?

"Fine. I would appreciate a lift home. But don't think this means you've come to my rescue Grey, understand?" I point my finger at his face and look in a menacing way. Doesn't work though since he rolls his eyes and gestures for me to get in the car. Ok I'll admit it's warmer, heated seats! My ass would be a block of ice by the time I got home on the train!

"Soo...where to Miss Steele?" He asks as his muscle man starts the engine. I tell him the address. Now it's time to return to my pumpkin patch.

We sit in a comfortable silence in the car, though I catch him occasionally looking at me when he thinks I'm not looking. It's like we're sixteen and we are being driving by a parent, I'm just ten years behind. But so far it's be worth the wait. I can see we are getting closer to my house, oh god I don't want him to see where I live, would it be sad to ask to drop me off at the corner of my street? I don't want my family looking through the window and see me on a date, or...did I decide if it was a date?

"Um ok this is going to sound strange...but I live around the corner and I don't want to wake up...my neighbours. They can be nosey bastards. Could you drop me off here please?" I hope to God he just agrees and doesn't ask questions, this is why I should have taken the train, to avoid this. I told you living with your parents is a bonner killer!

He purses his lips, then answers, "if I agree to drop you off at the corner will you let me know you are safe inside?" He looks genuine, especially that lopsided smile. Christ he really is beautiful, inside and out it seems. Usually my mom is the only one who asks me to text that I'm ok, but that's my mom she's supposed to worry, but Christian is still a mystery. He appears genuine, but then I've fallen for a great performance before and paid the price. So I don't trust my voice to answer in case it's got a judging tone which might upset him, so I nod and turn to open my door. When suddenly he takes hold of my hand and brings it too his lips, "I'm glad I managed to find you Anastasia, sweet dreams" he applied one more kiss to my hand and released me. I couldn't answer with anything but a furious blush and my jaw hanging on the floor. I finally left the car and began to walk home completely in a daze. Please don't fall Ana! Well you can if you get around the corner, but not yet! I don't hear the car roar to life until I unlock my door, bless he did keep his word and waited around the corner before he left.

I lock the my house door and check if the coast is clear before running up the stairs, taking two at a time. When I'm safely behind my bedroom door I whip off Kate's dress, reminder must send her a thank you note for saving my ass, and throw on my pjs. Once I'm sure I don't look like if been out for the night with a hot guy, I go to my mums room to check if she's ok. Her doors ajar so I go in, she's asleep. I take off her reading glasses and put a bookmark in her book and go to adjust her pillows when her eyes flutter open slightly. She give me a sleepy smile as I stroke her hair.

"Sorry I woke you mom, go back to sleep" I try to lull her back to bed.

She gives me a nod, "did you have fun with Kate at the movies?"

I hate lying to her, but Kate is my emergency exit, "yeah we had fun catching up. I'll tell you about it in the morning, ok?"

She smiles again and shuffles down to get comfortable.

I kiss her forehead and say goodnight, pushing the door closed before I go and make a cup of tea and make sure the house is locked up.

Crap I almost forgot, I grab my phone and type a quick email.

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** Just to let you know

I'm safe in doors now. I'm more capable then you think. Thank you for tonight it was fun.

Locking my phone and putting in my cardigan pocket I make my tea and head up to bed. Is it strange that I don't want to wash the hand he kissed? I giggle to myself as I curl into bed with my tea and my book. My cats fall asleep on my legs, and I look around at my room, my comfort zone. Tonight almost seems like a dream, cheesy I know, but to be wined and dined one minute, then sat in bed with tea and cats the next, it's hard to not think like that. As much as I'd love my life to change, I'm scared. I've been so used to this, would I be able to move forward if given the chance? Could I leave all this behind?


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 CPOV**

When I asked Ana to let me give her a ride home I knew she wouldn't be keen. I get she's independent, something I find amazing about her, but that won't stop me from looking out for her. If she went home alone or with my help, I would make sure she was safe. Luckily she agreed, I don't think the drop in temperature and lack of a jacket helped. I would have scolded her for that, but then again it did help me gain extra time with her, even though we sat in a comfortable silence, being in her presence is intoxicating. As soon as she said yes to my assistance I texted Sawyer to make his way back to Ana's house to make sure all was ok. It also helped that he was parked across the street, so when she asked to be dropped off at the corner I knew Sawyer would watch her enter safely.

I can still smell her scent on my lips, it's beautiful. The feeling of her tiny hand in mine, swallowed in my large hands, the warmth of her skin, it gave me goosebumps. Christ man you sound like a love-struck teenager spouting poetry. The bottom line is that I meant what I said, I am so glad I managed to find her. But what now? True tonight was amazing, and she is incredible...but could I make her happy? I'm a sick twisted bastard! I like the whip and fuck meal brunettes into submission, not only would she not go for that, I wouldn't want to ever hurt her. I've only seen the basics of her background check, but I can tell there's so much more to it. She never mentioned her biological father, and from what Welch found out he's still alive, so where the fuck is he? And her sister Sophia, another family member not mentioned but in existence, what happened to them, why are they not in contact? And then she was omitted to hospital for having a fit? There's so many questions and I don't want to frighten her away by demanding answers, I know I get defensive about people prying into my past, so I can't expect her to just open up.

Suddenly my phone vibrates.

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** Just to let you know

 **I'm safe in doors now. I'm more capable then you think. Thank you for tonight it was fun.**

I couldn't hurt her, but I will. It will either be physically when the monster side of me gets hold of her, or emotionally by breaking her heart to save her from myself. What do I do? I put my head in my hands, pulling at my hair. Why do I have to be such a fuckup? The poor girl needs someone to make her feel like a princess, not a fucking submissive! Could I go on regular dates? Ice skating hand in hand? Sneaky make out sessions in the movies? Walks along the beach? I didn't get to do that kind of thing growing up, not just because of my past, but because Elena had me on a short leash - no pun intended! If I even looked at another girl she'd beat the shit out of me! She always had a way of knowing. I never went to school dances, kissed a girl behind the bike shed, lost my virginity in the backseat of a car. Instead I was taught to fuck hard, to hit hard and take my hard punishments like a man! There was one occasion when Elena was having lunch with my mom and I happened to be at home, my mom had asked about the prom and that me and dad could go look for a tux. I tried to blow it off, knowing Elena was taking everything in, saving it for later when she had me alone. But then mom mention Jade Hill, a girl in my class. She was pretty, mousey brown hair, green eyes, a little shy, but I liked her secretly and I think mom knew. "Why not ask her to the prom, I know she'd love that." I made some lame excuse, just wanting to be free of Elena's glare. It wasn't long when she did have me alone, and she hadn't forgotten about Jade Hill. That was the worse beating I had from her, but then she reminded how good she was for me. I never went to the prom, or looked at another girl again. I hurt Jade like I will hurt Ana.

I leave the car feeling like shit! Shame, I felt so anxious when I left, happy as a pig in shit while with Ana and now...I don't know. I need a drink, and some time in the gym. That might work.

But when I finally exit the elevator I'm having déjà vu, I'm hit again by that revolting perfume! Fuck how did she get in here? I find her in the kitchen drinking wine! My wine! God just help yourself why don't you?! It never used to irritate me, but now I'm fucking pissed!

"Elena what are you doing here, uninvited, again?" I pinch the bridge of my nose, my head is now banging, and I go to get a bottle of water instead.

Taking a long swig of wine, deliberately to show of the plunge in her red dress, it's revolting, "Well I wanted to come and see how you are. You looked like shit the last time I saw you. What the hell happened, Megan has hardly spoken to me, apart from saying master is upset. I want to know what happened!"

Bitch is still making demands like I'm still that 15 year old kid, "I don't have to tell you shit Elena. But I think it would be best if you leave" I don't know if the gym is a good idea now, my headache is getting worse. But she doesn't take the hint.

"Leave! Why? I want to know why a sub which I hand picked and trained to suit you was crying and dismissed? You haven't spoken to her, no instructions, no nothing, is she not good enough? Would you like me to help? I can easily find a replacement?"

"I don't want a replacement! I don't want Megan! I don't want a sub! What I want is for you to leave!" I can't help but yell, despite the fact that I'm now in agony! God woman just fucking leave!

Ugh God now she's coming towards me, swaying her hips! I think I'm gonna puke. Suddenly she's rubbing my arms, pushing her breasts towards me and looking up at me from under her lashes. I can feel the bile rise! "Let me help you Christian. You're tense, in desperate need of a release...I am at your service, Sir"

Yup that does it I need to puke. So I push her off me and make a beeline for the bathroom. "For Gods sake Elena go home!" I make it to the toilet where I puke violently, the feel of her hands on me, her poisonous smell, everything, it makes me sick more! I crawl into a ball on my bathroom floor, I'm that lost and lonely boy again. Make it stop! Please! I need to get her out, I phone Taylor and ask him to get Elena out and to change the codes to the elevator. I don't want her in here again! And I need to make an appointment to see Flynn! I need to sort this out! I need to do something. Taking my phone once again I type a quick message and send, I then fall into a restless sleep on my bathroom floor.


	16. Chapter 16

**Soo, one down, one more to go. Christian has seen the real Elena in all her gross glory, and he's ready to break that chain in his life. Now it's just Ana we've got to work on. And in a way she's a more difficult egg to crack, surprisingly. In the original story it's Ana trying to get Christian to open up, but she's got baggage too, and she's more dubious with going after what she wants, having failed so many times, unlike Christian who find what he wants and doesn't stop until he gets it. Ana is more cautious, so be patient with her lol**

 **Chapter 16 APOV**

I look down at my phone. It's been three days since I received Christians text. I was a little nervous that I had made come on too strong when I email him when I got home, especially when he didn't answer for a while. Was I being needy, ugh I'd hate to be one of those needy girls who moan, "why haven't you rang me" and "I haven't seen you in two minutes did I do something wrong?" So please stop dwelling Ana. When he did email me back I let out an embarrassing sigh of relief, I wasn't holding my breath or anything.

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** Of course you are

 **I never doubted you abilities, you are more then capable to do anything you set your mind to. I want to see you again.**

That command at the end had me breathing a little heavier. Don't be too easy though Ana, play a little bit harder to get! I won't fall at your feet Mr Grey!

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** Demanding much?

 **Hmm we shall have to wait and see**.

There have that. I feel bad, I get a thrill teasing him, I sense he's a hot head with a short fuse. Again another fire and ice combo. I bet arguing with him would be fun, and then angry sex with him would be toe curlingly amazing. Shit did I just say that? Oh God I am screwed, I need to take a step back. Don't go into this too fast Ana, take your time, see if it's real before you actually do anything crazy. But why can't I be crazy? Why am I the only one who plays safe? All my life I've been there've the girl, the girl I always have to be, for mom, for school, for work, trying to keep everyone happy. For years I was terrified to getting involved with boys because I didn't want to end up like everyone woman in my family, pregnant too young, housewife for the next twenty years. I knew it would break my moms heart, and mine if I got knocked up now. Mom didn't want us girls to turn out like her, she wanted us to go to uni, have fun, travel, have experiences, everything she didn't do. Not that she regrets us, as she tells us time and time again, we were the best thing to come out of her marriage, but she knew there were things she missed out on because she was at home cooking and cleaning. I was the only one who listened, both my sisters were mothers at the age of eighteen, I saw four of my nephews being born at sixteen, scary as hell I must say. So all my life I have avoided a relationship, because yeah there's condoms and the pill and stuff but they ain't 100% and it would be my luck!

My phone buzzed again.

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** You have no idea

 **I'm waiting...have you seen yet?**

That was three days ago. For three days I've been looking at that email. Dwelling. Freaking out. Beating myself up. Shit what do I do? He's being a nice guy and I'm being all shady and nervous! He's gonna get bored of chasing Ana, you're just gonna end up hurting his feelings because you're frightened. I need to see Faye, my therapist, I need someone to talk to. Someone whose not going to baby me like mom or Kate. I need her stern, no shit attitude. I'll text Christian back, but I've been freakiing out with what to say. Do I encourage him, have fun, it could go somewhere, it could be just some carefree fun? Or do I put a stop to it, here and now and save Christian and myself from heartache?

Day four, and I'm sat waiting for my appointment with Faye. I've got my nerdy thick framed glasses on, my head in killing me, probably because it's been on overdrive for the past few weeks. I'm back to basics, no more swanky cocktail dresses, and thank god no more heels! Not needing to impress I threw on an oversized shirt and my black skinny jeans with my vans. My mom thinks I'm here just to discuss my depression in regards to my disappointing experiences since finishing uni, but it's a bit more deeper than that, and I don't want to upset her. So Faye has been a God send. I never liked the idea of talking through a problem with a stranger, I found it intrusive, like they were judging me, probably laughing at me while playing sudoku secretly. But Faye challenged me, she wasn't all awwwws she was all "ok Ana so what are you gonna do about it?"

The door to Faye's office swings open and a stout woman with roses cheeks comes out, I love Faye, she's amazing. I smile when she gives that look that says, come on in then trouble, what have you got for me today?

I sit down in my regular chair, the crappy looking though comfy as hell chair in the corner. Faye gets comfortable, relaxed, laid back, no note pad. We both kind of smirk at each other and laugh, "so Ana, how have you been?"

Not such an easy question to answer this time, and I think my facial expression shows that because Faye laughs, "that bad huh?"

"Confusing as hell." Is all I can say for now.

"Whys that? What happened since the last time I saw you, which was like a month ago?" Faye knows all about my family, she knows the constant strain I feel from them, and my past issues. So she can sense this is something different. I take a deep breath and tell her about the favour Kate asked for. Ten minutes later, she looks at me suspiciously.

"So who is this guy?"

I smile like a girl just getting asked about her school crush, I'm 25 for Christ sake! "Ok for obvious reasons I can't tell you his name, but he's well out of my league and Faye I'm confused! I have never been this...winded by a guy...ever! And yet he got me hooked, in that one meeting. I thought I'd never see the guy again, cause let's face it we don't run in the same social circles, and yet I did! I actually saw him again, and the bastard found out I lied! I seriously thought he was gonna get his hit man to dispose of me Godfather style, but no, instead he asked me out! Why? Was he softening me up for kill? Was it some joke rich men play during their showers at the country club, who can bag the poorest tramp? Slum it for a while with the lower class? I'm going crazy thinking of every ulterior motive this guy must have, because there is no way in hell he could actually want me!" I stop realising I'm crying, well sobbing actually. I can't breathe, it hurts too much thinking of the harsh reality I am facing, I am nothing! I knew I should have quit before I was ahead, saved some dignity!

Handing me a tissue, good old Faye, she sits forward and looks at me, but I can't look her in the eye. "Ana if I could I'd love to slap some sense into you" she laughs and I do to. I told she took no crap. "You continue to beat yourself up, put yourself down. What's it going to achieve other than you being hurt? And why aren't you good enough?"

Now I do look at her and scrunch my face in annoyance, "look at me Faye, I look like a hobo writer who lives in a bin! Isn't it bloody obvious?"

Ok now she looks pissed off, "no it's not! Would you like me to tell you what I see? Don't answer it was rhetorical. I see an intelligent, stubborn and fiercely passionate woman, who unfortunately has had some bad luck in her life. You love your family, attending every doctors appointment with your mom, holding her hand throughout this time, you are there for your sister and your nephews, I know she might want more time, but you are doing the best you can Ana. You are one person, you need to stop criticising yourself for not being good enough for anyone or anything. Because you are. And in regards to this man who has you in such a tizzy, he may be just what you need. And I guarantee he isn't perfect, no one is. Now I can't speak for him and in intentions, but you are a strong woman Ana, you can handle anything, you already have. But this might be a chance for you to actually have some fun! Be young, carefree, you never got to be that irresponsible kid, now is the chance to make up for it. Casual sex, a committed relationship, I don't know what it will be, but you need to take a chance, because no matter the outcome you will always bounce back. And who knows you could get more out of this experience then you think." Taking a deep breathe she looks at me questioningly, "I take it since you've been so worked up about this you've been avoiding him?" She's good I'll give her that. She I nod sheepishly.

Looking at the clock knowing we don't have long now she gives me my assignment. "I want you to go now, have a coffee, relax and once you're comfortable I want you to text this man. I'm not telling you what to say, but he does deserve an answer and not to be ignored, it's rude Ana and you're not that kind of person" Faye's right, it was harsh not to email him back. Can I still make it right? Or did I blow my chance? There's only one way to find out.

I am now sat in my favourite coffee shop with a large caramel latte, my legs folded beneath me, my phone in hand. Do it Ana! Yes or no, just tell him. My fingers begin to type out my email. I send it before I can back out and I feel like a huge zit has been popped, gross I know, but it's a relief, the pressure has been eased. I just hope I made the right choice. Don't dwell anymore, so I pull out my sketchbook from my bag and lose myself, trying not to think of those grey eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

**Ok Christian may know about a woman's body but he's about the a crash course on the frustrating way a woman's mind works. We are hyper sensitive, stubborn, defensive one minute and chatty the next. And Mr Grey's sexpertise wont help him this time!**

 **Chapter 17 CPOV**

Oh this day just keeps getting better and better. I've been stuck in meetings all day, I swear it's like I'm speaking French, no one gets what the hell in saying! I thought I employed intelligent people! My phone has been going mad with calls and texts from Elena, bitch just won't take the fucking hint. Then she tried getting into my office yesterday demanding I speak to her and insulting my staff in the process. I can't deal with her right now, I've got more important things on my plate. Like why the fuck hasn't Ana emailed me back? I thought we had a good time, did I do something wrong? I don't think so, she gave no indication that she had a shit time, we laughed, learnt personal crap about each other, where did I go wrong? Ah balls I sound like a girl, a needy little bitch! Stop Grey! I look over at my Trouton pieces, raising the ordinary to the extraordinary, I need to see her. You need to focus on this deal first and then I think I'm gonna have to pay Miss Steele a little visit.

Andrea suddenly buzzes me, "Mr Grey your mother is on line one"

I'm ready to pull my hair out now, "hello mom what can I do for you?"

"Well straight to point, what's wrong son? You seem distracted?" She seems concerned, crap now add guilt to my pile!

"Yeah works just been a bit crazy, sorry mom I didn't mean to snap! What's up?"

"I'm here if you need to talk sweetheart, don't run yourself into the ground. I wanted to have the family get together on tmorrow, Elliot's bringing his new girlfriend. Mia said it's serious, can you believe it? So will you come?" She giddy, I can see her bouncing in her chair. I'll throw her a bone, not spoil the mood.

"Sure mom, I'll be there I promise. I'm gonna go out and get some coffee, get some fresh air ok?" I need a break, I need a moment to myself, so I don't text Taylor.

"That's good, go take some time out, you'll work yourself to death. I'll see you tomorrow, I love you sweetheart!" Mom replies surprised, I never take a break, voluntarily. Maybe I'm changing?

"Love you to mom" I hang up and grab my jacket and tell Andrea to hold my calls and let Taylor know I've gone out and not to freak out. I should be ok alone for an hour! In the elevator I take out my sunglasses and headphones, I need to switch off. I don't want to see or hear anyone, and I know just the place. There's a small coffee shop around the corner, it's not commercial and there I hope to disappear to assess my thoughts.

As I open the door and make my way to the small line my phone buzzes, I'm tempted not to answer it, this was supposed to be my hour break. But I decide to just see the sender, that way I can judge whether to ignore it or not. My eyebrows nearly shoot off my head in suppose! Well that wasn't expected, the name flashes on my screen, I stare in shock and open the message.

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** not the right word I know

 **But I'm so sorry I haven't emailed you back, please don't think it was you. I had a really great time. This might sound like a crap excuse, but I guess my life just got in the way. I'm sorry.**

 **Ana**

I didn't realise I was holding my breathe until I finished reading and let out a huge sigh. Fuck that's a cryptic message. Does that mean she's sorry...I don't want to go out again. Or sorry...I was an ass can we go out again? Shit, I don't know, and I'm suddenly nervous, what if it's no, as in no thanks bye now? I need to talk to her, I don't know what that message means, and I make a living out of being able to read people and knowing what makes a person tick. So I reply asking if we can talk, I hate this waiting, I need to know now what's happening. I put my phone back in my pocket as soon as the message is delivered and place my order for a very large, extra strong Americano, when I hear a phone ding. Ana's phone made that sound! Your paranoid Grey, it's probably a generic email tone. But that doesn't stop me from hunting from behind my sunglasses. And tucked in the corner in a high back chair is Ana, oblivious to everyone with her headphones on and a sketchbook in her lap. She is so beautiful, so carefree, lost in her own world. I make my way slowly over to her and take the seat opposite causing her to look up. The expression tells me what I need to know about the message, there's a hint of a smile, like she's in disbelief that I am actually here. A ghost of happiness in the expression. And it's then I realise that I will be there for her, even as I friend, I don't want to lose her in my life.

"I got your message...finally" I take a sip of my coffee, taking in her outfit, even in a oversized shirt and glasses she is stunning.

Uncrossing her legs and then recrossing them, she's anxious, she finally settles in a position, "I'm glad. And sorry, I didn't mean to not reply, it was rude of me. My mom would kill me if she knew how badly I treated you since you had been so nice" she looks down at her coffee.

I take a minute to phrase this properly, as I have a feeling she will take it the wrong way and get offended, "I accept your apology Ana. And I have an idea of why you were avoiding me." My lengthly talk with Flynn had me now educated slightly on the world of relationships. People do stupid things when they are afraid. She looks at me expectantly, urging me to continue my assumption.

"I get it Ana, more then you know. You're scared. I'm scared shitless. You've been hurt in the past and you're frightened of putting yourself out there and actually taking a chance." I take another sip of coffee as she frowns at my observation so far, I've hint another nerve. "But I can't push you to do anything you don't want, as much as I want, and believe me my persuasion skills as impeccable. You need to stop being afraid of life because if you don't, you're going to end up alone"

I think she looks hurts, I knew there was a 50/50 chance this could go good or bad, but still the truth hurts and she needs to know that if she wants this I'm hers, but I need to be shown the same dedication.

The hurt disappears behind a wall of fury, her jaw is tense, "So you're not only a billionaire business man, you're a shrink?" She snaps, good I want some emotion, "oh and let's add mind reader to your impressive resume, cause you have me all figured out and summed up don't you? Congratulations, Mr Grey you've got me, I'm now emotionally naked. Thanks for highlighting the fact that I'm some scared frightened little girl who is basically doing fuck all with her life and that I need a guy to help all this make sense. And then what huh, everything will just fall into place? Right?" Her nostrils flare, she's in total defence mode. I guess she didn't like me calling her scared, in her fragile mind she probably thinks I'm calling her weak. And a strong independent woman doesn't want to ever be called weak or vulnerable. But I won't baby her, she doesn't need someone to walk on eggshells.

"You're twisting my words and being dramatic Ana, can we just talk. Like adults about this please, I don't want to make a scene" I lower my voice, like talking a child down from a tantrum.

That doesn't help though, she just gets worse, I have to just take it, I get the feeling she's been bottling up a shed load of negative emotions. I can see she is getting tearful, "so I'm a child now. Add that the every growing list of insults! Thanks a lot! That's just great. Not only you, but my family treat me like a fucking kid, criticising everything! Ana you're too sensitive! Ana you're lazy! Ana you're scared! I can't win!" She then stand up nearly tipping over her coffee, "you know what I thought I could actually regain those teenage years and have fun with you, be young and carefree, I see now that that's not good enough for Mr Billionaire Grey, he doesn't want some over dramatic child in his life" she grabs her bag and strops off. I think I hear her call me a prick. I feel like laughing, I think we just had our first fight. Taking a sip of my coffee I flop back in my chair, it wasn't a no, it was fear. I can work with that, she's worth it. I take my free hand through my hair and close my eyes as I try to relax, listening to the soft jazz that is playing behind the soft murmur of voices. Taking another sip of coffee something catches my eye. In her rage Ana left behind her sketch book and novel. I can't just leave it there, I'll return it to her and we can talk. But as I take the books in my hand I can't help myself from taking a peak, I'll take anything to get a better insight into her life. The novel is beaten up, it's Douglas Coupland's _Generation X_ , a story of three people who give up their great jobs for a life in the desert, I can see her feeling comfort from it. A book that defies the convention of finish uni and getting a great job, stability for life. I find myself skimming the pages, relishing the idea of her touching these pages and finding answers within these words.

The sketch book is something completely different, it's Ana all over. I run my fingers down the broken spine, knowing I shouldn't look, no one reads a journal, this is probably Ana's version of a journal. Looking around like a kid whose about the steal from the cookie jar, I gentle open the book and I'm shocked. Lost for words. The book is crammed full of incredible images, surreal, dreamlike and very dark. My smile gets bigger the further I get into the book, I could see her work selling easily, I have some contacts, especially in magazine publishing that would eat this up! It's such a wasted talent, maybe I can talk to her about this? Give her some help on taking her art further. There's one piece she's called paint the road to success, it's a delicate pencil drawing of a paintbrush painting a road for a lonely figure. There's a pang of sadness at how much emotion she pours into this book, I hope one day she can be an expressive and carefree with me.

 **haha I did tell you Ana is very much on the defence and hyper sensitive at the moment! But instead of just holding it all in and crying later on in her room yeah she needed to tell him straight! In the original books I loved it when Ana would fight back, no one wants to be in a relationship where you can't speak your mind, no matter how crazy it is! So yeah she wasn't gonna just sit there and let him tell her what she's feeling and what she should do! Nope! So it might seem like oh God Ana calm down, but my Ana is feisty!**


	18. Chapter 18

**There won't be any sweet sentiments in Ana's head at the moment! Not the needy girl whose trying to anaylse Chritian's behaviour. Instead she just swears and screams and hits things! She then feels guilty, then she doesn't, again remember for a girl who hasn't had a relationship ever and is fiercely independent all these new emotions and someone telling her what to do is frustrating and confusing, so cut her some slack. Also I did mention how I thought everything was a little too neat in the originals, so yeah Ana doesn't just keep quiet and take Christian's dominating attitude, she has balls. Also don't feel sorry for Christian he's a big boy, he is still the crazy overbearing guy, but he's just experiencing softer emotions for the first time as well.**

 **Chapter 18 APOV**

That arrogant fuck face prick! How dare he tell me what I'm feeling! I don't give a shit if he's spot on, he doesn't have the right to go around telling me to take a chance and that I'm just scared. Like he knows me? I've known him for like five minutes and he thinks he's got me figure out...he has though Ana! Shut up! That's not the point! Men are so stupid! Yeah they are stupid, they think they know everything about everything, everything about women, yeah right! I don't need him, he can suck my dick, I took a chance and it bit me in the ass.

...Did I though? Ugh shut up! I'm right, he's wrong! Am I? Is he? Ahhhhh!

I must look like a total psychopath ranting and raving as I stomp to the bus, having a total tantrum. Wait till you get home Ana, you can freak out on your punch bag later. So I pull my headphones out of my pocket and press shuffle hoping for some relief. I try for ten minutes, skipping practically every song. Ahhhh this isn't working. Shit that man has pissed me off, ugh with that sexy smirk! I would like to smack that sexy smirk off and that "oh yeah I know you" look. I just wanted to flick him the face for being such a jerk, but it's ok, I just need to go home and take a breather and another coffee. The prick made me waste my latte! You're now of the list Grey!

When I get home I make sure I am alone before stomping upstairs. It's times like these I love Izzy for being so demanding on mom as it gives me a minute or two to go mad without upsetting her. I strip down and throw on a vest and shorts, then throw on some heavy music, cranking up the volume before wrapping up my hands. For the next ten minutes I lay ten shits into my punch bag, sweating crazily as I take all my anger, anxiety, sadness, fear, frustrating, confusion, out on my bag. Suddenly I am leaning on the bag trying to catch my breathe when I realise I'm crying. Oh shit, don't Ana, don't let him win. I pick myself up and kick the bag! My hits become harder until my body is like jello and I can't breathe. He's right...fuck! I am scared. I don't want to be, but I am so frightened! I acted like a total crazy bitch because I didn't want to admit that he saw right through me, I'm scared shitless. I'm scared of how he makes me feel, how he makes me feel about myself, me being vulnerable, me not having control, me getting hurt. And it's making me crazy! I sit on the floor, putting my head on my knees, wrapping my arms around myself, almost tying to keep myself together as I try to control these new feelings!

Now I need a long hot shower to wash off the sweat and anger, among other things. Once I'm done I decide I need to stop dwelling, stop beating myself up, take a breather, not think of Grey and how I feel just for the afternoon, then approach this when I'm more rational. Job search, that's something to do Ana, get your ass emerged in that for a bit. I do that for about an hour, applying for a few part-time shop assistant jobs and a housekeeping job. It makes me sad thinking how my degree that I worked so hard for is doing nothing, no Ana stop! Next distraction, ugh I prepare dinner for when mom gets home, she'll probably be exhausted having spent the day with Izzy, so I focus on washing and chopping vegetables for mushroom stroganoff. When I've ran out of jobs I put my head in my hands and I flop on the sofa, I feel exhausted, relationships are draining and I'm not even in one! I hope this is worth the stress?

I wake up to someone shaking me, that's when I notice all the noise coming from outside, and it's getting closer. Will and Mackenzie are tugging on my arm asking if they can play the Xbox, while Alex and Izzy are arguing about his grades I think and my mom is carrying Josh looking really ticked off. Oh great just what I need.

"For gods sake Ana what have you been doing all day?" My sister takes notice of me getting up from the sofa and starts scolding me. "You haven't done anything have you, you're so lazy. Help me get the boys things from the car!" I feel the anger rising and it's gonna break free through floods of tears! I hate that I cry when I'm angry I look like a total pussy, like now I want to tell Izzy to stop treating me like complete shit, but I'd end up crying and she'd make some comment like stop the waterworks. So instead I go check on the food and get the boys things from the car, but I've lost my appetite and decide to escape to my room, not caring what Izzy is yelling after me. I just need the comfort of my room, my cats and a book! Sad...I don't care!

I can't wait to say goodbye to this stupid day!

The next morning I wake up feeling even worse. Those stupid pretty grey eyes kept me tossing and turning all night. I don't care what my family think, I creep down stairs to grab some tea and sneak back off to bed. I don't care! Everyone leave me alone!

I eventually make my any downstairs in the late afternoon, trying to sleep of the headache I've had since yesterday, but nothing has helped. Luckily mom isn't here, guess she can sense I'm not feeling good and made an escape. Probably Izzy has kept her busy with jobs in her house. Yup I was right, I see my mom has left me a note, I smile slightly.

 **Hi Ana**

 **I hope you're feeling better honey! You were restless all night so I didn't want to disturb you. I'm sorry about Izzy yesterday she was out of order, but you know how she is.**

 **Love mom**

 **P.S. There's a package for you in the living room**

A package? I haven't ordered anything, I'm confused! I take my tea and make my way over to the brown package on the coffee table. Sitting on the sofa I pick up the package and rip it open, there's a note.

 **I think you'll be wanting these back. You shouldn't hide such a talent Ana, don't waste it, show it to the world.**

...I sit there looking at the note...what the fuck? Behind the note is my novel and my beaten up sketchbook! Then it hits me...motherfucker went through my sketchbook! How dare he invade something so personal to me, that sketchbook is my world, my soul, everything I pour into those pages and the bastard just thought it would be ok to go through that? Oh my God Ana you moron how did you forget your sketchbook, the thing is like a part of your body, and you just left it there! Now look at what has happened because you had a hissy fit! I wouldn't go and read his journal! And then it happens, all the pent up emotions from the last few days is finally coming to a head. If you e ever seen the film _Me, Myself and Irene_ where Charlie is in the supermarket and turns into Hank, then you know what I'm feeling! And I snap!

 **For anyone who owns something so personal that you hide it somewhere and don't let anyone see it, then yeah this is a major piss off! An ex-friend of mine took my sketchbook/journal/doodle pad and showed it around my class, I felt so exposed that they knew my secrets and what I felt, so this is how Ana feels! You have to be invited to observe something so personal, not just let yourself in! And yeah Ana was a tit for forgetting it, but that's the effect Mr Grey has on her, everything just goes out the window!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hahaha ok a lot of people are very upset with Ana's behaviour, but remember how Christian didn't think he was good enough for Ana and he's all trying to make her see how much of a monster he is to protect her...well it's kind of the same thing, but she's a girl so we are usually just into yelling! Like I said this was never going to be simple, Ana has to get over her negativity, and allow someone in.**

 **Chapter 19 CPOV**

I'm sat at my parents house having a beer with my dad, waiting for Elliot to arrive with his new flavour of the month. No way am I falling for this bullshit that he is getting serious with her, the only thing serious in Elliot's relationships is the seriousness of a condom. Still I'm here now, my mom is happy, doesn't mean I am. I haven't heard from Ana since she went apeshit on me in the coffee shop, and I've heard nothing about returning her books. I was informed that the package was received and signed for. So...what? No thank you? That woman is so bloody frustrating. I take another swig of beer when I hear commotion in the hall way. So, the fresh meat has arrived, and I make my way to see what all the fuss is about.

Well, well, well, this is a small world, "Miss Kavanagh, it's nice to see you again" I hold out my hand, and smirk at the new possibilities this proposes with my brother dating Ana's friend.

"You to Mr Grey" she smirks, giving my hand a painful squeeze. I'm glad I'm not my brother, she has a savage grip.

"Oh yeah I forgot Christian bid on you at the gala, better luck next time little bro, I guess I got the girl in the end" my buffoon of a brother winks at me, thinking he has won the war. Dude please, that ain't my type. She is however of interest to me due to the fact that I need some help on how to deal with Ana.

"Ah but this isn't the second time I've encountered Miss Kavanagh big brother, think about that" I challenge, to annoy the hell out of him. Though my family has always suspected I am gay due to the lack of bimbos I've brought home, Elliot won't know if I'm joking or serious. I know he'd hate to think he has my sloppy seconds. When I'm satisfied he looks pissed off and ready to punch me I let him have it. "Miss Kavanagh interviewed me a few weeks ago for the Seattle Times" I can see him relax a little, I guess she didn't mention the interview cock up to my brother. Good that way I can keep Ana to myself a little longer, well once she's talking to me again. Which I plan to fix as soon as I'm done here. How I don't know! Maybe I could subtly ask Miss Kavanagh, she is after all Ana's friend, I can juice her for information.

"No way, you didn't tell me you've met Christian before. Christ bro I think you're losing your touch and getting soft, you never give interviews" Elliot chuckles, putting his arm around his girlfriend, I love annoying my brother.

"Well I am very glad I did this time" smiling at Miss Kavanagh, if I hadn't listened to my PR department, I would never have encountered Ana. We both suddenly start laughing, and I don't know what's more shocking to my family, the fact that they are clueless to the joke, or the fact that I'm actually laughing. Either way our laughter seems to be infectious and the family is summoned to dinner where for the first time I actually feel happy. I think it's having a a connection to Ana here that has me feeling sated and willing to be involved with my family. I have always been closed off, focused so much on work that I'd be sneakily emailing under the table at any family dinners, answering questions simply, going home as soon as possible. But I don't want to be that lonely person now, not now that I've experienced companionship and enjoyed it. Sharing a moment with someone else is usually better them the experience itself, laughing with Ana, even arguing with her is so much better then any million dollar deal I've closed. So here I am talking to my brother about a football game, while my dad chips in with going to catch the next game together.

I excuse myself to go and get another beer when I'm approached by Miss Kavanagh in the kitchen. She leans on the breakfast bar, arms folded, she means business. So I turn towards her and offer her a beer, which she accepts.

"So, I hear you managed to get my best friend out of the house? Nice work Grey, I hope you were the perfect gentleman, cause remember best friends talk, and I'll bust your balls if I find out you've been a pig!"

I take a swig, I like that kind of loyalty, "it was really good actually, I had a great time. We laughed, shared embarrassing stories. But I think, I think we've just had our first fight..." I'm waiting for her to let me have it.

And that she does, suddenly she is stood up straight ready to pounce and claw my eyes out, "what did you do? Tell me now Grey or so help me I will kill you and bury you in your own garden!"

"Ok ok, God pipe down you chihuahua! Basically after our date Ana didn't response to my emails. I heard nothing from her for four days. Anyway, I saw her yesterday at this coffee shop and we started talking, she said she was sorry for not getting back, that basically her life got in the way. Now, understand that I like your friend ok, but I said she was scared and that she should take a chance on us. Then she got pissed off and overreacted! She stropped off and left some stuff behind during her tantrum"

Kate laugh humourlessly and pinches the bridge of her nose shaking her head, "oh my god Grey, for a guy who is brilliant in business you are a total clueless wanker when it comes to women! You never tell a woman what she's feeling! Like duh! Men can be so...ugh! No wonder the vibrator was invented, a vibrator doesn't make stupid mistakes like this! It's ok, she'll calm down and probably feel like a prat and apologise. So what did she leave behind, I can return it if you want?"

"It's ok, it was just a sketchbook and a novel. I had it delivered to her today. She's really talented, I had no idea she could draw-" Kate suddenly cuts me off like I've just said some obscene thing.

"Wow wow wow! You went through her sketchbook?"

What's the big fucking deal, it's a book, "I only had a look" I snap back at her!

"For fucks sake Grey are you kidding me?! Ana will totally see that as an invasion of her privacy! She's a private person, it takes a lot to let someone in! She has always had problems expressing herself and that book gives her some relief! So all those emotions which build up and things she can't tell people, she puts in that book and now you've taken it upon yourself to go through it! Don't let her know! She will freak out!"

...the penny drops...oops!

"What did you do now?" She asks exasperated.

"I may have written a note to accompany the delivery saying how she's really talented! Cause she is! I was really blown away by her work! Why's that so bloody bad? I thought you women like compliments?" I swear I'll never understand the emotional crap of women. The anatomy yes, the brain nope!

"Because Ana has major selfesteem issues, always has, she's never felt good enough, that's why that book is so private! Because it's just for her, she doesn't have to please anyone but herself! And I know you mean well, but complimenting her will upset her, she'll think you're just saying it as an ulterior motive!"

Ok now I'm getting pissed off, "I don't have an ulterior motive, I just want her? Why is she like this? So defensive? I didn't mean to offend her, I just want her happy!"

Expecting Kate to yell back at me, she does the opposite and gives me a sympathetic look, "It's not my place to say, but she's been blinded by negativity, always has been. She doesn't like to let people get close because she's frightened they'll leave and hurt her again"

Wow I guess we have more in common then I thought.

She continues, "I know she can be frustrating when she doesn't listen and she's self loathing, but I meant what I said, she's worth it. She just needs the right man"

"Thank you...Katherine"

"It's Kate, Christian, I think we can drop the formalities don't you? Oh and a word of warning, don't ever apologise to Ana with gifts! You're likely to have them thrown at you, and she's got a strong arm and good aim" she gives me a wink and skips back to Elliot, probably feeling good that she put me in my place.

It's starting to get late and I decide to head out. Taylor pulls the car round, and I say goodnight to my family before getting in. As I sit back I think about what Kate said about Ana and her lack of self esteem. I don't understand it, she's beautiful, funny as hell, challenging and that's only what I've discovered in the last few weeks, there is so much more I plan to discover. Her family I think play a big part in her attitude, where are they, there's some many people missing from her life! But I do understand this self loathing, I mean look at me, I'm 31 and never been in a real relationship, I tie women up so they can't touch me, I have a contract stating they are not to talk to me, my way of keeping everyone at arms length, because I've always felt I'm not worth knowing. Not the real me, the little boy who was abandoned by my mom for a quick fix and left her kid to be abused by her psycho pimp! That's me, that vulnerable little boy, I've just spent years trying to burying him.

I decide to take out my phone and email Ana. But how do I say sorry and actually convince her? I've never apologised before! I'm so used to being a total ass that I've never given a shit about people's feelings to need to apologise. But as I unlock my phone I see I have an unread email, I turned my phone off while at dinner in an attempt to be more involved with my family. Fuck it's from Ana! Fuck it was sent like an hour ago! Fuck! Fuck!

 **To:** Christain Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** none

 **What the hell gives you the right to invite yourself in and invade my personal stuff?**

Ah hell she's pissed, Kate was right, Ana would take it as an invasion of privacy!

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** Mixed messages

 **I'm sorry for the delay getting back. Ana I didn't mean to invade you're privacy and for what it's worth I'm sorry. But I won't lie, your work is incredible!**

I'm a man of my word, I plan to shower her with praise! She needs to know she is good enough, she is more! As she emailed an hour ago I wonder what's she's doing now? It's not late, it's 10:37pm, I'm hoping she's at home swearing at the phone! But suddenly she replies.

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** goodluck chump

 **Whatever's I know what you men are like! You think you can thrown down some nice words, give us a panty dropping smile and hello here's the key to my chastity belt! No way jose!**

Ok I guess I deserve that, I have been notorious for using my looks to get what I want. It's the Grey curse, but not once have I acted like a typical guy and made her feel like a whore! And as for the chastity belt, I would have one on her 24/7, the key in my possession, only I would get her pleasure. I'll save that idea for later, right now I have sort this out!

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christain Grey

 **Subject:** Mixed messages

 **Ana despite what you may think, I'm not some scumbag who will lie his way into your bed! And please learn to taking a bloody compliment because I plan to give you many more!**

Much much more Miss Steele!

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** good luck chump

 **God what kind of cheesy romcom reject film did you steal that line from?**

That one made me laugh, I'll give her that!

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** Mixed messages

 **I think I made my lack of movie knowledge know to you during our date? Remind me next time I see you to watch Wayne's World so you stop laughing at me. How about I make it up to you for invading your privacy, we could get together tonight?**

Hmm that has possibilities, I can make Taylor do a detour, simple enough.

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** good luck chump

 **Not tonight Mr Grey, tonight is all bout me**

I frown at the screen, what does that mean? All about her? Like she's busy doing her hair or busy with her vibrator? Hmm I could easily help with both.

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** Mixed messages

 **What the hell does that mean?**

Please let it be the last, the thought of her...no stop it Grey you pig! Stop thinking with your dick!

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** good luck chump

 **It mean I am doing something just for me! I'm going out to let off some steam, I am on the verge of self combusting and you are partly to blame! So be a good boy and let me have some fun!**

Going out! As in not in her house? To let off steam? Oh fuck no! Shit and she said it's just for her, does that mean she's going solo?

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** Mixed messages

 **What do you my let off steam? Ana you better be meeting up with Kate or a friend?**

Shit she won't be meeting Kate, the way she and Elliot left my parents house they will be shacked up in his bedroom for the rest of the night! Fuck I have no idea if she knows other people! Shit, she wouldn't be stupid enough to go out alone would she?

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** good luck chump

 **Bitch please I don't require supervision to have fun! Thanks for the advice mom!**

Is that just her sarcasm or is it tipsiness? So add drunk to her being alone, fuck my palm is twitching like crazy, she needs a fucking spanking for pulling a stupid stunt like this!

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** Mixed messages

 **Ana where are you? Let me come and pick you up and we can talk?**

Well I'll be doing the talking, telling her exactly what I think of her game!

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** good luck chump

 **Can't right now doll, they're playing my song.**

Don't you leave Miss Steele! I will find out where you are and drag your ass out of there, believe me!

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** Mixed messages

 **Ana so help me tell me where the fuck you are!**

Ten minutes of staring at the phone I know she won't reply! Bollacks! I can't fucking believe this, I am furious! How could she be so...ahhh! Young attractive woman, drunk, dancing, any guy gay or straight would get hard just looking at her, and some horny cocky bastard will take advantage of her! Hurt her! I don't think so, fuck this I've got to find her and drag her home, I don't care if I have to throw her over my shoulder Tarzan style! As I have her mobile number from her background check I call Welch to find me her location. My blood is like acid, it's burning as I imagine all the horrible realities that could be playing out, and since everyone will be pissed who the fuck will help her. I know the club she's at isn't far, so I decide to take off on foot, telling Taylor to park the car. This is not how I imagined our next meeting to be!

 **So it all got a bit too much for Ana and she's out to be a bit rebellious! Now of course that means trouble! I know a lot of you think Ana is being harsh and she is, I'll admit, but she's trying to push him away because she thinks she's not good enough...kind of like what Christian was like! But once she finally sees that she is worth love she will start to relax.**


	20. Chapter 20

**hi all...**

 **Ok I thought I'd step in here and say a word or two haha! When I first read the original fifty shades I wanted to smack Ana for being so...feeble and delicate. And as much as Christian was sexy and domineering, most of the time I wanted to smack him. BDSM or not if some guy said he wanted to give me a good-hiding I wouldn't reply meekly saying oh no, I'd be like you bastard you touch me and I'll hit you with a chair! But still everyone loved that! So no I wanted Ana to be a bitch in ways, yeah she's compassionate and amazing once you get past that wall, but that wall is sarcastic and aggressive and ready to fight anyone who wants to hurt her off. Christian is sweeter here, but he's not a victim, so he can take Ana's attitude, in fact he likes it. If he wanted so little girl to go yes sir no sir he would have stayed with Megan. So Ana is the opposite of that, she'll tell him if he's pissed her off, even if she is irrational. And I think that will make some great passionate moments, ugh that's going to be a challenge to write lol!**

 **Hope you're liking it so far, you've all been so awesome! :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Well Ana is about need Christain more then she knows. Also I don't know about you but I always wanted a real big rescue for Ana. With Jose I kind of wanted more then just Christian saying back off. So I maybe the bar scene a bit more scary. So not only do we see more of Ana being her defensive self, but also she realises how much she help she really needs.**

 **Chapter 20 APOV**

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** Mixed messages

 **Ana so help me tell me where the fuck you are!**

I look down at the newest message and laugh, ain't gonna happen Grey! So I lock my phone feeling smug, ha I sure showed him! And the DJ is playing my song I practically begged him to play, it's not a big dance number, it's just a song I love to dance freely to. So I swallow my shot, ugh it burns! Why does alcohol taste like drain cleaner? It's _Temptation '87_ by New Order and it's easy to get lost to. That last shot has giving me that extra bit of Dutch courage and I sway my hips from side to side in a carefree way, smiling as I run my hands through my hair and above my head. Sometimes all a girl wants to do is just dance! Dance the problems away for a bit. And I do as I twirl around, not caring whose watching or what others are probably thinking, smiling and jiggling.

After the mental snap Mr Bloody-Grey caused by going through my stuff I tried to get over it, move forward, I really did! I went for a run, sweat like a sinner in church, but nothing I was still fuming! I needed something stronger! And I knew just the thing. So I went to my closet and threw on a nice black satin vest, my skinny black jeans and my boots, applied a little makeup and grabbed my essentials which I slipped in my bra. I told my mom I was meeting Kate, even though I knew Kate was with Elliot, I couldn't wait around for her to be available. So yeah I took the train into town and went to a club I knew had great music and cheap drinks, just what I needed. The thing I didn't need, creepy guys drooling on my shoulder asking to buy me a drink. If I wanted cheap fun in the bathroom pal I would have worn something different! God, just cause a girls here alone doesn't mean she's here looking for a guy.

By the fourth guy it was getting ridiculous, not that I'm a total guy magnet, the guy was just...ugh! No words, and he was pissed already!

"What's a pretty little thing like you sitting alone at a bar?" He takes the seat next to me, did I invite you to sit down?

"Oh I'm not alone" I gesture to my drink I just ordered.

"That's no problem gorgeous, I don't care if you're here with someone" he slurs trying to be seductive I think, moron didn't get the hint. So plan B.

"Yeah well my girlfriend whose a professional wrestler would gladly wrap your balls around that stripper pole for hitting on me, so byebye" I wave him off, but no the prick just ain't moving. Ew in fact he's smiling, fucking perv. I can guess the fantasies flying around in that filthy brain. "I were to tell you I'm actually a guy and I'm here tonight in drag and that I have a dick, would you take the hint I'm not interested and fuck off?" Ha I think that worked, I think he only heard the words drag and dick cause he looks frightened and practically falls off his chair! I burst out laughing and order myself another drink. Men are so stupid. My mind then shoots back to Christain, no Ana, this night is about you. He can wait until later.

So that's where I am now, dancing my ass off and laughing as I dance away the problems. My song has ended and some upbeat catchy number starts playing, I'm not one to sit down on a night out so I keep dancing. The dance floor is getting more crowded and sweaty, people bumping and grinding near me, ugh gross that's not dancing. Still let them have their fun Ana, you're having yours. I'm not paying attention but I can feel someone breathing down my neck, or am I just being paranoid? Suddenly two hands take hold of my hips and push me backwards into the guys hard groin! Fucking hell buddy calm down will you? I try to shake him off but his grip gets tighter and he pushes me towards him further, forcing my hips to grind into him.

His lips are at my ear, "What's your name?"

Lie Ana, "Beth"

Turning my chin back so I can see him he answers, "I'm Jose, can I get you a drink?" he's a well built guy, cheesy smile, too pretty and he knew it.

"No thanks, I just want to dance" and that's it, now kindly take your mitts off me bitch. I am on red alert and tense, ready to get physical if he doesn't back the fuck off.

His lips are making their way down my neck and his hand is edging lower to the waistband of my jeans! Oh I don't think so pal. I grab his hands and shove them aside, turning quickly in his arms to push him away. That was my chance to make my get away, but the persistent prick grabbed me by the arm and squeezed. That's going to leave a mark! He's yelling that I'm a tease, so that's the go ahead sign, and as hard as I can I thrust my knee into his groin making him scream like a bitch and he lets go of my arm, and I take off into the crowd. As I push my way out I decide where to go next, not the bathroom in case he follows me and I'll be cornered. No out in the open, I spot the security guys at the door and stick near them to catch my breath.

Fucking men, they ruin everything! I mean what part of no thanks meant yes please, feel free to stick you hands in my trousers? God the one time I do something spontaneous and rebellious it all goes tits up! Go home Ana! Just go home where it's safe! I lean back against the wall near the entrance, go home to your boring life, you may be lonely, but you're safe. So I do, I decide I've had enough excitement for one day, and I plan on a long hot bath to wash away all the grime! I wrap my arms around myself, again why didn't you bring a jacket you ass? And walk in the direction of the subway. The cool night air was sobering and I quickened my pace, wanting to go home and say goodbye to another frustrating day. It's not too busy tonight, but it's not deserted so I feel a bit better, so I don't take notice of the steps coming from behind me, getting faster, I think it's someone trying to get to the train station.

A hand grabs the back of my head, the other covering my mouth. And someone's lips are at my ear, "you think I'd let you get away from me you little bitch?"

Fuck! It's that freak Jose! Shit! I lift my legs and drop my weight hoping to make him lose balance. When he does I twist and shove the heel of my hand into his nose, causing a huge crunching sound and a squeal, so I run only to have him grab me around the waist and throw me further into the alley. When I'm on the floor, my head pounding from having hit the floor hard, Jose is on top of me, trying to get hold of my hands to pin me down. I ain't going down without a fight bitch, so I start screaming and thrashing, my knees jerking.

When he suddenly leans down I turn away, don't kiss me you fucking freak, but then I turn and thrust my forehead into his bleeding nose causing him to yell in pain. But instead of rolling over in pain like I hoped, he pulls his arm back and punches me square in the face! I've been hit before, and I know from the shooting pain that my eye will be a mess in the morning. I'm still not giving up, so I scream through the pain, I'd rather die trying then hold up my hands in defeat!

 **Duhduhduuuuuuuuuh! Sorry to any Jose fans lol**


	22. Chapter 22

**this was basically a new twist of the bar scene, and yeah it was a lot more darker. I think you get now that Ana has a lot of bad luck in life, but maybe it's time for her to have some good, she's just gotta get past that stubbornness! Hope you like the longest chapter so far hahaha also sorry for any typos :)**

 **Chapter 21 CPOV**

I'm gonna kill Ana! I swear to God innocent or not I'm gonna spank her ass red when I find her, for putting herself in danger and making me go out of my mind in worry! She will get some sort of punishment! I am weaving my way through the groups of people out on the piss, I really hate the party scene, it's so cliche! Girls walking like constipated geishas in those heels, men sucking in their bear guts to impress, ugh I'm so glad I never had that phase in my life, it looks ridiculous!

The last location Welch picked up when Ana was emailing me was at a club called Reflex, classy! I don't bother going in yet, instead I head straight to the bouncers at the front door at ask if they've seen a girl fitting Ana's description. Of course that could be anyone, so I fish out my phone and show them her picture. Yes I know I'm a stalker I have a picture of her, but I don't care, not right now with the way I'm feeling!

Yes they start nodding, and jerking their head to the right, "Yeah she went that way about 10 minutes ago, she was waiting near the entrance looking nervous. But she left alone" says one of the bouncers. I take off down the road. Great! So something upset her here and she left alone! All sorts of nasty shit starts flitting through my mind, who upset her, what did this bastard do? Did he touch her? Fuck! I'll kill him. I start to pick up the pace, I can see she was heading in the direction of the subway, I hope she made it to the subway safely. But suddenly something makes my heart stop! In amongst the sounds of people laughing I can hear someone screaming! Someone, a woman screaming for help, screaming in pain! No! No! No! Please no! I run towards the scream, begging my legs to move faster, but the faster they do the louder the sounds of pain get, sounds I will never forget for as long as I live. The screams are coming from deep inside an alleyway, and I can hear the laboured breathing of a man, and that's when I see him. A burly guy is straddling a woman, her legs kicking out aggressively. I yell out hoping to stop him, but he's oblivious, too focused on his prey, as he draws back his arm and punches the woman. She cries out as I grab him, throwing him off her and hard against the wall where he starts coughing. His nose is in pieces but his eyes are possessed, he's still keen for his victim. I can hear the woman breathing in pain, and I know it's Ana, but I won't take my eyes off this fucker. So he likes to hit women, that makes him feel like a man huh? If it's a fight he wants let's see how long he lasts with me? And he lunges for me, his head going for my chest hoping to tackle me to the ground, but with his head down my knee makes contact with his face and I thrust my elbow in between his shoulder blades making him crumple to the ground. But I'm not through with this bitch yet, so I place a few well placed kicks to his abdomen, cracking a few ribs, he rolls onto his back struggling to breathe! Ah what's the matter, can't handle it when someone fights back? But I don't care, he is a sorry excuse for a man, fucking piece of shit hurting a woman! I know I'm into BDSM but that's consensual, a woman screaming to stop and him enjoying that pain, the fucker should die for that! I am fuming, my fist pummelling his face into the floor!

"Christian no!" Taylor suddenly yells at me grabbing me off this sack of shit, I struggle to get free, I want more! I need to hurt him more! "You'll kill him. Now stop!" But I can't, I won't stop! "For Ana" he hands me the car keys, code for get your ass to the car so I can do my job!

Ana! Ana's here Grey! She's probably even more frightened watching you act like a possessed fucking animal! You need to be better, for her! Get her out of here! Make her safe! It's only then that I stop and finally take the first look at Ana since I found them. She is holding her face, huddled on her knees looking at me in complete fear, I didn't want to frighten her, I wanted to protect her. What have you done Grey? Make it right! So I walk over slowly, so I don't frighten her again, slowly removing my jacket and wrapping it around her shoulders. She just looks up at me, breathing heavily, not saying a word. It's the shock, I need to get her out of here. So as gently as I can, despite the fact that my muscles are still bunched up, desperate to finish off that prick, and I lift her up bridal style cradling her. I leave Taylor to take care of it now, and I walk with Ana in my arms, wrapped tightly in my jacket to the car parked up the road.

Bending down to open the door I climb into the back of my car, still with Ana in my arms. Now the adrenaline has died down I'm left with anger, I need to be calm right now, Ana is in shock and I won't help matters by yelling at her for being so fucking stupid! Count to ten, and keep your cool until I get her back to my place. Her eye is already beginning to swell and I don't want her mother seeing her like this, I know Ana will not want to upset her family by sporting a black eye. So I'm taking her to my place, I can have my mom come and check on her and finally have this well overdue talk. I count to thirty, then fifty, then backwards, waiting for Taylor to come back. I have hold of Ana so tight I'm afraid I'll leave a mark, but I'm terrified of letting her go. So I rest my head on top of hers inhaling her scent, it's calming me down slightly. Eventually Taylor makes an appearance and we make our way back to Escala, Ana doesn't seem to notice the words passed between Taylor and I, she is being unnaturally quiet.

 **APOV: ok I get that with Ana sometimes you want to hit her for being on the defence all the time. But let's be real, this isn't Romeo and Juliet, she's had a tough time and is just protecting herself. But luckily my Mr Grey can see she's worth fighting for, so despite the back and forth with anxiety and emotions, she can start to see that maybe he is a good guy.**

What do I say? I was so stupid! Why did I go off alone to get drunk and dance? Did you really think that would solve the problems Ana? You stupid bitch Ana, why did you do that? All you're life you have avoided doing anything reckless and the first time you do you nearly end up get raped and probably killed! I am so ashamed that I start crying silently, I don't want him to notice, in fact I stay as silent as I can to avoid the inevitable. The well deserved lecture about how irresponsible and pathetic I am. I just wasn't strong enough, you never are Ana you are always a fucking victim, you had to be rescued! No one has ever rescued me, I usually get my ass kicked but I give as good as I get, but then Grey comes in like some bloody knight and whisks weak little me off! This is so frustrating, I'm fighting with twenty five years of pride and stubbornness and fear, allowing Grey to step in and save the day is a hard pill to swallow, yet all my life I've wanted someone to save me. I'm always trying to save myself, protect myself, defend myself and I'm tired of it. What do I do? Be stubborn and continue to fight alone, or allow someone to fight with me?

I feel the car begin to slow down and I see we are in a garage, where the hell are we? Please don't say he's brought me to the hospital, they will call my mom and she will flip! Shit how much will this visit cost? But I can't dwell on it for too long because Grey has opened the door and is climbing out with me still in his arms. I want to tell him that I am capable of walking, but again I trying to avoid talking to him, hoping not to anger the beast too much. We are on route to an elevator which he manages to punch a code into the keypad while still holding me close, I hope I'm not too heavy, I don't want to be a burden and him feel like he has to help me. The doors close and the lift starts its journey up, and in the enclosed space I take in the heat from his body and the feel of his sculpted chest. I hate to admit it, but I feel safe right here, and it's disturbing. Why does a girl have to have a guy to feel safe?

The doors open once we reach our floor, and we walk into an off white foyer. This is some fancy ass looking hospital foyer, it even has a round table with a beautiful bouquet of white flowers! Is this some private clinic for those with a credit card, money really does get you the best. But then we enter a huge open plan space with comfy looking sofas and floor to ceiling windows looking out at the twinkling city lights. Ana you frigging ass this isn't a hospital it's his house! You let him take you to his place, oh my god how could be so stupid?! Well I already surpassed my stupidity quota for today, why not add another. Christian finally lets me go, placing me down on a bar stool in his kitchen, rolling up his shirt sleeves and walking towards his giant fridge/freezer. Though this isn't just any kitchen, this is the kind of thing you see on a high rating cooking show or like that restaurant Christian took me to. How could one guy need all this space? I thought guys only knew how to use a microwave, oh but he probably has some big fat butler called Jives who cooks and some French maid named Fifi to clean. Christian has disappeared behind the chrome freezer doors, I'm guessing he's using an ice machine, the silence is filled with crashing and banging. And I was right, he comes towards me with an ice pack in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. Not taking his eyes off me he places the water in front me and ever so gently, that I hardly feel any pain, he places the ice on my swollen eye. It feels incredible, both the tenderness and the ice, I want to say thank you. Apologise. Say thank you again, but every time I go to open my mouth, the humiliation shuts me up. So the minutes go by without a word from either of us, it's like a Mexican standoff, neither of us wanted to make the first move.

This is ridiculous, so I take a deep breath and look down at the bottle of water and mumble a thank you.

"Excuse me?" He asks without any emotion! I still can't find the courage to look at him, instead I reach for the bottle of water and fiddle with the lid.

I give another sigh, "I said thank you"

"For what?" Oh shit he's going to make me spell out every moronic moment. Please just let it die, just be a bad dream! I can't bring myself to answer him, I cringe inside. When I don't answer he continues, "are your thanking me for returning your belongings you left at the coffee shop, or for me paying you a compliment about your art, helping you when you were drunk and nearly raped and killed in an alley, or maybe preventing your mother from seeing you in this state, for me treating your eye or giving you a bottle of water? What are you thanking me for Anastasia?" I look up at him, he is leaning against the wall opposite me, his arms folded, jaw tense, yup he wasn't letting me off easily. He cocks his head to the side almost daring me to answer.

I look away, down into my lap and whisper "everything" I beg him silently to let it go, please, it is killing me. But the bastard doesn't care that I my eyes are filling up, not easy when one is swollen shut!

"I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that!" the smug prick snaps at me. Then I pop, the waterworks start to erupt just like my mountain of pent up emotions. And I stand up knocking the bar stool over and yell, "everything! Ok? Thank you Mr Christian Grey for everything! Are you happy now? I was wrong you were right, I made a mistake-"

"-you fucking think, that's like the biggest understatement of the century! How could you be so recklessly?" Great now he's yelling, fine let's go bitch!

"Because I'm human Christian! It might not make any difference now the damage is done, but I made a mistake and believe me if I could it back to prevent owing you this huge fucking debt then I would! So I'm sorry! I'm sorry I got you involved in all this crap! You don't deserve this! I'm sorry! You happy now dad?!" I am starting to pant, motherfucker shouldn't have got involved with me if he wanted normal, my life isn't normal, nothing normal happens to me! Ouch that hurts!

Christian looks at me like I've grown another frigging head or something, oh great I can't even argue without looking like a complete fool apparently. And he's starting to pace, pulling at his hair and then he gets right in my face looking furious, I'm talking eyes blazing, jaw tensed, heavy breathing mad! "Firstly don't for one second think you are somehow indebted to me for helping you, don't fucking insult me! And secondly an apology isn't going to solve this Anastasia! Do you have any idea how frightened I was when you told me you went out alone? Then I couldn't find you and all sorts of horrible shit went through my head! And then I heard you screaming, a sound I will never forget and found that fucking piece of shit hurting you! Do you have any idea how badly I wanted to kill that bastard, how close I was? Damn it Ana!" And he shocks the hell out me by kissing me hard, one hand at the side of my face pulling me closer, the other on my waist crushing my body into his! Holy fuck! No this can't happen, we are arguing, fuck, this is so confusing. Especially when his lips force mine open and he deepens the kiss causing me to moan, and suddenly I find my one hand thrusting into his hair, the other clinging around his neck. Damn it Ana stop! But I can't, shit my stupid body is betraying me, my lips battling it out with his! All that anger, frustration, humiliation oh fuck the list is endless, all those emotions are urging me on, and I find myself clawing to get closer. Closer, I want to get closer, oh my god this is so new to me, I can't let this go too far you have to think for a minute Ana, use that brain not your hormones! So I pull away, both of us gasping for air, I need to put some distance between us! He's right we need to talk, I don't want to hurt him, but already, me breaking off this kiss he looks wounded. I need him to give me time!

"I'm sorry!" I'm still trying to catch my breathe, it's like I've just ran a marathon, "I'm sorry Christian, I shouldn't have let it go that far? You deserve so much better! I've uh...I'm gonna go. I'm so sorry about everything" and I turn to leave, walking as fast as I can to avoid those beautiful eyes that will make me melt. But he's got me by the arm pulling me back and then pushing me against the wall, one hand next to my face the other stroking my cheek. No escape.

"Oh no you don't! You're not getting away from me this time" he then kisses me tenderly on the forehead "you've been on my mind since the moment you faked your way into my office, and I'm not letting you go now" oh my god my legs are turning to mush, what do I say to that?! My stomach is going bat shit crazy, and I am desperate to throw myself into his arms. But that evil voice is laughing at me for acting like a love stricken teenager, why would he want me?

"Why?" I whisper, then I look up at him, "I'm no one Christian, I'm nothing, and you know nothing about me!" I duck under his arm and start to pace, my hand pulling through my hair, "you think I'm like Kate, successful, someone you can show off and be proud of. But I'm not, I'm nowhere near the same league as you, your a frigging billionaire!" I fluster and when I look at him he looks angry.

"You really think highly of me don't you? All you see is some rich workaholic who fucks victoria secret models!" He's shaking his head in disgust.

"Oh come on, look at us! You're so successful, I'm unemployed! You own this huge penthouse, I live with my mom. You have amazing luxury cars, I can't even afford a pushbike. You grew up in a great house with a loving family, my family don't even want to know me and my poor mom raised us alone juggling three jobs! We are worlds apart, but that doesn't change the fact that I like you! And I'm frightened that at the end of the day my personality won't be enough for you, and you will get bored of your new charity case and I'll...I don't know. I don't know-" and I realise I'm sobbing. There you have it Grey, there's the real ugly truth. And he doesn't walk away, he doesn't say "oh fuck this I'm off", instead he pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around my shoulders stroking my hair as he lets me cry. Draining away years of not feeling good enough and beating myself up over everything I do, he doesn't say a word but he doesn't have to, this gesture says enough.

"I'm sorry, I've got snot on your t-shirt" I says after what feels like hours and my face feels dry from the tears, I probably look like crap, what with one swollen and bruised eye and the other puffy and red from crying.

Instead he chuckles, "you apologise too much, do you know that?" I nod into his chest and he takes my hand and leads me down the hall, opening the double doors and pulling me along into a bedroom. I don't feel suspicious, that voice has closed shop for tonight, so I just follow him. The room is simple but beautiful, like the main room there is an incredible view of the city, what a view to wake up to each morning. And the only piece of furniture is the huge bed in the centre, such a big bed for one person, the interior is all blues, greys and off whites, I guess he sticks to what he likes. He switches on a bedside lamp and leaves me for a minute, returning with a white shirt, which he hands me with a smile. He then walks away into what I assume is his closest, allowing me a minute to change into his shirt. Removing my vest my phone falls out, oh bollacks, my mom is gonna go apeshit on me! I drop a quick text saying I'm at Kate's and I'll see her tomorrow before locking it up and removing my jeans. I don't care that I'm half naked, I want to strip away the clothes that bastard touched, I want a shower so bad, and some bleach and a wire brush, but I don't think Christian will give me those. Now I just want to sleep, the adrenaline has drained and I'm left hollow. Once I'm finished with the last button I walk over to the window, getting lost in the view. This really is a castle in the sky I smile to myself, and I'm a rescued damsel whisked away to safety. But then I feel a pang of sadness, it's lonely up here away from all the life below, and the thought of Christian here, alone is upsetting. Maybe we can both rescue each other? Rescue each other from the bleak loneliness?

I catch his reflection in window as he re-enters the room wearing pyjama bottoms that are hanging so deliciously off his hips, and he's pulling on a t-shirt allowing me a quick glimpse of his happy trail and walking towards me. Saying nothing our eyes meet in the reflection and his hands take hold of my shoulders turning me in the direction of the bed, the side away from the door. Pulling back the duvet he instructs me to get in, which I do without hesitation and I lie down, wow I must get the make of this mattress it's frigging amazing! Damn rich people and their luxury. Then Christian takes the duvet and begins to tuck me in, I want to laugh so badly! The last time I was tucked in was when I was like ten, and besides it was my mom. But I can't laugh, it's actually really sweet what he's doing and I can't burst the bubble by pissing my pants. Once he's satisfied he places a hand either side of head and hovers over me, oh fuck I stop breathing. What's he going to do now?

"Do you need anything?" He asks, ok so not a kiss which I was dying for. I shake my head, just sleep please. "I'll be back in two minutes" and placing a kiss on my forehead he leaves the room. From anger to lust to tenderness, total whiplash I smirk and roll onto my side bringing the covers up to my face, creating my own cocoon of comfort and I begin to close my eyes. True to his word he came back two minutes later with a laptop and two bottles of water and what I'm guessing pain killers, placing the bottle and tablets on my side drawer he surprises the hell out of me and climbs in next to me, dimming the lights and opening his laptop. He's going to stay with me? Really? Why? Uh maybe he gives a shit Ana, give the poor guy a break will you? Ok I will, maybe I really do need to give him a chance, stop trying to push him away, finding any excuse to not let him into my life! I take a final sneaky look before I allow myself to fall asleep, holy fuck he's wearing glasses! Jesus Christ I have such a weakness for hot guys in glasses and Christian looks yummy as fuck! I finally fall asleep, mumbling a sleepy thank you, and thanking Christian helping me.

 **I am very much with Ana in the idea that yeah women should never have to rely on a guy, that yeah she should be her own knight in shining armour! I've had to be all my life, but sometimes we all need someone to rescue us. Whether it be a guy or a best friend, it's ok to be rescued, it doesn't make you weak! Also sorry for any typos :)**


	23. Chapter 23

hi all! Sorry I haven't uploaded anything I am on my best friends weekend hen night! As soon as I'm home I shall continue to play lol


	24. Chapter 24

**Hi all! Sorry for the delay, especially as I was on a roll with my uploading lol here is my next chapter, hope you like it. Sorry if there's any typos, I edited on the train, so I might have been distracted lol**

 **Chapter 22 CPOV**

I try really hard to focus on my laptop, but all I can think about is that piece of shit who was hurting Ana. I've read over the same email like ten times and all I can think about is my fist breaking his face, the blood spurting from him, teeth breaking! I want to end him! I can see as clear as day what I would do to him. I smile to myself at the thought of him screaming, but then Taylor's voice comes into my head. For Ana, I need to be a better man, not the freak I am. Looking over at the clock it's now past midnight and despite all that's happened I'm not tired, but I see the sleeping girl next to me in my bed. Christ she's a handful, but seeing her now so relaxed, despite the swollen eye, she looks so young and beautiful. Now I don't share my bed with anyone, but I needed her here next to me, especially after nearly losing her tonight, and there was no way I could put her in the subs room. And to be honest, though the thought of her being this close to me and the possibility of her witnessing my night terrors is unnerving, it's soothing having her here wrapped in my sheets. So I put my laptop aside and roll onto my side and look at Ana, taking a moment to appreciate her silence, I laugh, no sarcasm, no defensiveness, just silence. Well not anymore, she grinds her teeth apparently. Christ it's loud, so I stroke her hair to stop her, and it works. Cherish these moments Grey cause she'll probably have her energy back in the morning. So I just watch, relishing the feel of her silky hair beneath my fingers, and suddenly my eyelids won't stay open.

Shit I slept through the night, it's 7:53am! Not even a nightmare, fucking hell that's crazy! I feel pretty good, though my hand is hurting, haha you should see the other guy I laugh. It was worth it. I stretch and my hand instinctively goes to the other side of he bed. It's empty! Fuck! She had better not have left, I'll be pissed if she has! I sit up straight and pull back the covers, and instead of a pretty face I find a pair of feet. Lifting the covers I follow the feet up to a pair of slender legs, my shirt ridding up exposing her purple lace panties (holy fuck, down boy) and then delicate hands tucked underneath a pretty face with pouting luscious lips. Ana's hair is flopped in every direction. I gently move a strand of hair away from her face causing her the jump in her sleep. So, Miss Steele fidgets in her sleep? I take a few minutes just watching her, again savouring the moment before she probably tells me to fuck off. I'm gotta go take a shower, the sight of Miss Steel half naked sprawled in my bed is making my morning wood painful.

As I stand beneath the cool water I think about everything that happened, not that bastard, but everything Ana said. Her not feeling good enough for me, I just don't get it, how can an intelligent, beautiful woman be so insecure? Yeah she's a bitch I laugh to myself, she pretty much ripped me a new one with her tantrums, but it's entertaining! So as soon as she gets her pretty ass out of bed, this is getting sorted! I wrap a towel around my waist and make my way to my closet, I throw on a jumper and some jeans and quickly dry my hair. I need coffee and I need to ask Mrs Jones for some help breakfast wise, coffee I can do, food nope!

Ten minutes later, three cups of coffee and a spinach omelette later I decide to go wake up Ana, she needs to eat! Throwing open the drapes Ana moans like a vampire seeing sunlight, haha whoops! "Morning sunshine" I say I'm the most annoyingly cheerful voice I can manage, not good for a hangover I'm sure. I look over at Ana who flips me off, yup she's back to normal then. "Miss Steele how about some coffee? Food? Maybe greasy fried eggs..." no one with a hangover likes the visual of greasy food. Her hand suddenly comes up, and waves frantically. Yup she's awake now.

"Ughbfdrgbjikmll..." Ana mumbles, I think that's hangover code for fuck off. Nope, not happening. I throw off the quilt making Ana whine lifting her head to give me evils, not easy when your one eye is swollen. Shit it looks bad, I reach over and take the bottle of water and tablets, she must be in agony, I should know I've received many black eyes!

"Take these" I command, it's not a request! And she complies, giving me a shy smile. "Good, now you need to eat, so get up for breakfast...now" I get up and make my way to the kitchen, taking Ana's omelette off the plate warmer and pouring us both coffee, and going back to my newspaper. I hear her tiny feet padding their way towards the kitchen, I don't look up from the paper, even when I hear the barstool scrape across the floor. The minutes go by in complete silence.

"I'm sorry...I'm a bitch..." I hear Ana say quietly, I can imagine her looking into her lap in embarrassment.

Folding up my paper I smirk, " I know" and she blushes, "and the apology will only be accepted when you finish your breakfast. Then Miss Steele, you and I are going to have a very overdue talk." And I wait for her to start eating before I take a sip of my coffee, in which we sit in silence while she eats. I make some mental notes on what I need to say, the gloves are off now.

 **APOV**

I woke up panting, my throat is killing me, oh my god everything hurts. Touching my eye I wince in pain, shit that hurts, so I guess it wasn't some horrible nightmare? Great another one to add to the list. Last thing I remember was Christian in hot glasses, I look over to where he was sat and instead he is fast asleep in a starfish position. Reaching over I take off his glasses which he forgot to take off, fold them and reach across to put them on this laptop. As I hover over him I make a bold move, very gently so I don't wake him, I place a kiss on his forehead. Letting out a sigh he rolls over onto his side facing me, he really is full of surprises, the big bad CEO has a sweet side, the one I fall back to sleep with.

When Christian, the evil beast, woke me up this morning I was suddenly more nervous then ever. The aftermath, the post drama session was to occur! Shit, I didn't have adrenaline on my side today, instead it was just plain old Ana...I was so screwed! I nip quickly to the bathroom before Mr Grey comes and drags my ass out of bed and as soon a I catch my reflect I nearly puke! Jesus Christ it's like the elephant man's twin sister is looking back at me! Ugh how could the poor man kiss me last night? It's not like I was looking irresistible, not with this crater perturbing off my eye! But there was no cure, it's not like I can fix it with a brush or makeup...maybe a hammer and chisel? Go face the music Steele!

So here we are...facing each other...on opposite sofas. Again neither having the balls to start. "Shall we play rock, paper, scissors to decide who starts?" I try to break the ice, and at first I feel like a prat when Christian narrows his eyes, but a smile escapes betraying him and he leans forward to play.

Rock breaks scissors. He won.

"Ok I'm going to say this once and once only..." He takes a breathe, "if you ever, and I mean ever, do anything that stupid again, I swear to God Anastasia Steele I'll spank your ass so hard you won't be able to sit down for a week!" He said in the most coolest tone, no shouting, holy balls what do I say to that? "Do you understand me?"

I purse my lips contemplating what he just said. The man just said he's going to spank you Ana, what the fuck?! Tell him he could try it, but you'd cut off his dick and give it to your dog if he touched you! But wait, bear in mind the poor guy had to save your sorry ass, when you made a complete dick move last night, so in that context he has every right to say that. Hmmm confusing! But I know I did wrong, and I need to take this! "Yeah. Yeah I understand."

He again narrows his eyes, probably waiting for the BUT...and then some sarcastic comment, it doesn't come though and I think he relaxes. "Good, because I'm a man of my word and I won't hesitate to see it through. Now, aside from the fact that you stropped off alone and got yourself into trouble, I want to move past that. I'm not one to beat around the bush, so I'm gonna just lay it out. I like you, I want you." Totally deadpan voice, no seduction, just there. My jaw is hanging slightly, wow, he just said he likes you and there's no anger to fuel any passion. I think he means it Ana. "A reaction or comment would be nice!"

Sarcastic much? I laugh inside, what a pair. I take a deep breathe, rip off the bandaid Ana..."ok. The truth is, you frustrate me, annoy me, antagonise me...but at the same time you excite me, challenge me and help me." I have to look away now though, "and it's frightening me just how much I like you" my toes curl with embarrassment, I watch them instead of seeing his reaction.

"If it's any help, I'm scared to. You frighten the hell out of me" he laughs sitting back on the sofa, I have to look up, me frighten him? No way he's obviously on something! How can I be frightening? "You frighten me because you're so desperate to push me away, and doing that usually gets you in trouble. And I don't like seeing you suffer, even if it's you who is hurting you. Do I have to rescue you from yourself as well as from others?"

Probably, I am well known for attracting bad luck! I don't even try it just finds me! A hundred cars could be parked in a no parking area and it's me who would get the ticket, poor guy doesn't know what he's getting himself into. But then the guy literally rescued Ana, like carry you away to safety, slay the bad guy crap, maybe he could handle it? "I'm a lot of work Grey, you sure you can handle it, what with your billion dollar empire?"

Grinning mischievously he accepts, "don't kid yourself girlie, you're not the only one who can be a handful! I'm up for the challenge, if you are?" Oh I don't doubt your a handful Mr Grey...just please don't hurt me. I nod in acceptance.

"So, what now?" I feel so relaxed with him, it's like pain relief.

Now his grin gets bigger, "I'd say now is the perfect time for you to get your ass over here and kiss me!" Wow I think my eyes nearly fell out of my face, despite the swollen one! Again how can he say these things with me looking like some reject sideshow act? Shut up Ana and get your ass over there now, I tell myself. So very slowly so I don't fall and look like a tool, I walk over towards Christian who is now sat back loving every minute. As I contemplate my next move he suddenly grabs my hand and pulls me so I straddle his lap, he hands moving to the small of my back pulling me close. I gulp loudly placing my hands on his forearms, damn those are nice and tight, aw crap I can't even squeeze my thighs together for some relief. Damon my heart is beating so fast and he ever so slowly moves his lips closer until it takes me to close the gap. And I am so glad I did, this kiss is different from our first it's tender and soft and he continues to squeeze me closer until it hurts. But like hell I'd tell him that, if anything I want to get even closer. But then he does something really unexpected, he pulls away so he looks right at me, seeing past all my bullshit excuses and fears and smiles. I smile back. And this time I pull him back and kiss him, tugging on his head to deepen the kiss. When I break away to catch my breathe he suddenly pulls his shirt away from my shoulder and applies a few more kisses before biting down hard causing me to gasp, shit that's leave a lovely mark. And that urges me on more, shit it's like twenty five years of horniness is about to explode. Until we are interrupted by a cough.

Looking over Christian's shoulder I see his muscle man bodyguard guy, he looks a bit uncomfortable. Well it does look bad, his boss and the elephant man practically dry humping on the sofa. Oh balls I'm mortified. I roll off Christian's lap to hide while he's informed there is a situation. As Christian gets up he hovers over me, removing my hands from my face and giving me a chaste kiss, "I'll be back in a sec" and without that he follows Mr muscle guy down the hall. Now alone I quickly run back to his room to grab my phone, ah crap there's three messages and four missed calls.

 **Mom: glad you're having fun with Kate, stay safe Ana and have some fun. See you tomorrow xx**

 **Mom: omg Ana, Izzy and the boys are driving me crazy and my arthritis is going mad. As much as I want you home, stay out, save yourself lol xx**

 **Izzy: Ana where are you? I'm at mom's and I could really do with some help here xx**

Fuck! How the hell am I going to explain the huge swollen eye? Shit, what's mom doing now, she's probably doing some DIY for Izzy and has hurt herself. Back to life I guess, back to reality.

 **i will start to replenish the stock now lol**


	25. Chapter 25

**Sorry for any delay, but here we go! Sorry for any typos! :)**

 **Chapter 23 CPOV**

"Sir, the man identified as Jose Luis Rodriguez has been placed in police custody after returning from the hospital" Taylor informs me after I leave Ana in the great room. Good the bastard is behind bars, for now.

"What information were you able to find on him?" I ask, what other ways can I destroy this fucker?

"On paper he's clean. But from what we've seen of his past relationships, all his partners have been admitted to hospital more then once with suspicious injuries" so he has a history of hurting women, that means he won't stop after Ana. But this proposes a problem, with no record and no way of bringing this prick down without any evidence, he's going to get a slap on the wrist. Shit! I need this prick watched, not just to keep Ana safe, but to prevent any other innocent girl from being attacked. So I tell Taylor to assign Sawyer full time, strictly for Ana, I don't care if she's happy or not it's happening! I should have had surveillance on her 24/7, or chain her to the wall!

When I make my way back to the great room Ana isn't there! That chaining to the wall idea doesn't seem so bad now, she never sits bloody still! I find her in my room looking at her phone, she seems off. So I lean on the doorframe and tap making my presence known.

"Everything ok?" I ask.

She looks up and huffs "Yeah. It's fine...you busy today?"

I shrug, well I'll be keeping an eye on you, does that count "Nope. Though I have a conference call with Japan this evening. Why?"

Then she blushes, "Do you want to do something with me?"

Even after telling her I want her, she still seems anxious that I might say no, "That depends...what do you have in mind?"

Scrunching her nose and giving a cheeky smile, there's the real Ana, "You're going to have to trust me Grey. Are you willing to put a little faith in me?"

I give her a reassuring smile back, "Why not? What's the worst that could happen? Oh and by the way I had Taylor pick you up some clothes. And help yourself and take a shower"

I give Ana some privacy, though I'm desperate to take a peak as I hear her turn on the shower, don't be a pervert Grey!

Ana then emerges looking so young in her black hoodie and ripped skinny jeans, and the black sneakers keep her just below my shoulders. She's pulled her hair into a loose braid, carefree and gorgeous.

"You ready?" Now she seems excited, crap what did I agree to?

"As I'll ever be, though I don't know if I need anything specific since I've got no idea where you're taking me." I have my phone and wallet.

"You will know soon enough. Shall we?" And we make our way to the elevator.

 **APOV**

"Seriously this is what we are doing?" Christian asks skeptically as we stand at the entrance of the train station. It's silly I know but I have to.

I can't help but laugh, he looks horrified, "Ever since you offered to accompany me home on the train, I had this need to take you to the subway".

"You do know I have a car right?" He asks with a frown.

Yup I've seen your fleet Grey! "I'm aware, but honestly I love taking the train, despite what everyone thinks, so I thought you'd like to come with me to a place I like to go from time to time via train?"

"Lead the way" ever the gentleman he gestures for me to proceed, placing his hand on my back. I don't think I'll ever get used to that feeling of comfort which his touch provides.

I walk over to the ticket booth and purchas two tickets, I turn and hand it to Christian who is frowning at me. What did I do now Grey?

"You unman me Miss Steele. I am able to purchase a train ticket for us!" He scolds.

So I roll my eyes, wow is that what I sound like when someone does something for me, stroppy? "Seriously Christian paying for a subway ticket won't break the bank, and if I get stuck I'll ask for your help. But, this is my strange Ana way of apologising and thanking you for everything -" and he looks like he's about to interrupt me, so I hold up my hand to stop him, "-and no this is not me being a twat and trying to repay you in a bitchy way, I didn't mean to insult you. But I just wanted to...you know" I shrug my shoulders like that's the answer. That seems to satisfy him.

So we step onto the platform and wait. Out of the corner of my good eye I trying to sneakily get a glimpse of Christian and his reaction. He seems to be a bit more relaxed now, I sigh with relief, I want this to be fun, there's been too much tension and drama. Christian told me he likes me, and I like him, and yeah I'm not going to change over night with my attitude but we haven't had the normal going to movies, holding hands in the park, kisses in the rain all that cheesy stuff, instead it's been arguing, tantrums, hurt and swollen eyes. I don't know, maybe some conventional cheese might be nice every once in a while. Then my pulse starts to flutter as I feel Christian's hand bump into mine, we both back off, then they collide again. Suddenly we slowly look at each other, checking the others reaction, when we finally make eye contact I bite my lip and we burst out laughing, like a couple of kids. People at the platform are looking at us like we are a couple of drunken hooligans, god people haven't you seen laughter before? I swear we are a miserable race! But Christian and I take no notice and our hands finally join, which he brings up to his lips and kisses.

I lean up on my tip toes and whisper in his ear. I graze his ear lightly with my lips, and I relish the fact that his breathing has changed. "Smooth Grey, very smooth".

"He turns his head so we are nose to nose and says, "I've been known to have my moments" and with that the train finally pulls up and always the gentleman Christian leads me forward to a seat. Damn he's good. Especially when we sit and he places his hand on my knee and rubs his thumb back and forth, it's giving me goosebumps.

"Excuse me is this your hand on my knee?" I turn my body towards him, his hand remains glued to my knee.

Mirroring my move he turns his body towards me, looking straight into my eyes, well one and a half and he smiles, "yes it is" and he cocks his eyebrow to challenge me to make him move it. Smile all you like Grey, I don't want you to move it anyway.

When we finally approach our stop and I take Christian's hand and drag him towards the exit and back out to the city. It's not far to walk, but we do it hand in hand. Strange how something as simple as hand holding can have a reaction just as strong as him kissing me, in a weird way it feels so much more because it's not about sex, it's intimacy and I've never had that closeness. So I savour the warmth of his hand engulfing my, his skin is slightly rough, not like I imagined a business man. He did say he does more physical pursuits in his spare time, and he mentioned rock climbing, I might ask if we can go together, I love to climb whenever I can.

"We're here" we have finally arrived, whenever my family is sucking the life out of me, or if I got a job rejection or had a bad interview, I always come here, "but I need to make a detour to get some change, and then do you fancy playing?" I'm a bit anxious now, would he find going to an arcade fun or really immature?

Instead he laughs, a genuine carefree laugh, he looks so young and happy, wow did I do that? "I haven't been to the arcade in about fifteen years! This is amazing!"

That's my cue, and I reach up and kiss him on the cheek, "it's good to know you're easy to please! It looks like we're both a cheap date. Come on, we can make this interesting" and with that we practically run towards the arcade, laughing without a care.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 24 APOV**

Who knew I'd be spending my afternoon in an arcade with a billionaire! Sounds so strange, I mean he wines and dines me in some swanky restaurant and then I'm like "hey let's go to the arcade, by the way do you have any change in amongst your $100 bills"! But Christian was a good sport, and I think he enjoyed it, or at least I hope. It's my favourite place, well second to the bookstore, my little escape from life.

So that's what we did, Christian and I escaped from life and played for hours! Everything from Aliens extermination to air hockey and then laughing like fools on the merry go round. Lots of peopled stared at us, I guess laughed is strange! I haven't laughed so hard in all my life, and that's what I need, to laugh, to smile, to be young and have fun. And I'm glad I'm bringing Christian along for the ride, because I get the feeling he didn't get to be young either, what with building up his empire. It's sad, we've both missed out on those reckless years due to fear, responsibility, wanting to please other people, so this can be my gift to him.

But now it's time to get on back to reality, but I like to think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship, I laugh to myself as Christian sits next to me in the back of his car. He rang his muscle man Taylor earlier, I guess Grey didn't like the train I giggle more.

"Do I even ask what's going through that mind of yours?" Christian turns to me and smirks, we have been hand in hand all afternoon and have remained so.

I start laughing harder that I snort, oh my god that's so lame Ana, "oh you know, just reminiscing. You screaming at the Pacman game cause you lost, me sending the air hockey puck into some guys head, nearly falling off a kids merry-go-round, Grey the list is endless." I look down and bite my lip, then look him straight in the face, "I have never had so much fun...with another person...thank you"

"Ok in my defence I haven't played in like twenty odd years, so maybe I did get a little over excited." Christian pouts at me, Jesus that's so cute! Ha I can tease him about that later.

"Aww, I'm sure you'll get your game back and we can have a rematch some other time" shit Ana did you just ask him out, again? Fuck! Suddenly I feel nervous, I've just put my out there! Totally exposed!

"Woman you're on" he give me a megawatt smile, holy balls he just accepted. And I just feel my entire being turn to jelly at that smile. I am incapable of giving a sarcastic comment so I just nod. We are getting closer to my home now, damn. I ask Christian if he can park not outside my house, I can imagine my family is going apeshit and probably checking the window every minute for signs of me! "So there's no chance I can walk you to you door like I was raised to do?"

Ugh I don't think so, "nope" and I give my sweetest smile, which rewards me with a scowl from Grey.

"I thought as much. So again I have a request, you must email me saying you are safe inside" he's dead serious, I guess he would be after all you've put the guy through, so I smile and agree. Then he gently he holds my chin and slowly kisses me. No craziness, just tender softness. He then hands me something, it's a brown paper bag. "For you to open later" and then he winks.

I walk into my house in a giddy state, smiling like a fool on cloud nine. As soon as the door shuts behind me all hell breaks loose!

"Where the hell have you been?" Yells Izzy from the livingroom with her arms crossed, angry as hell, the boys all running around crazy. Hi to you to sis! Then she must notice my eye, "and what the hell happened to your face?"

My mom comes out of the kitchen holding Josh who scrambles in her arms and runs towards me. She's limping, shit her knee must be swelling! She rushes over looking concerned, Izzy is still fuming.

"I was out with Kate, I texted mom. And I-" my mom is flustering over me.

"Oh my God Ana what happened, are you ok?" My mom is now close to tears.

I now have Josh in my arms, but I place a hand on moms shoulder, "mom please it's ok, me and Kate were dancing and I got accidentally elbowed in the eye. I promise you I am ok. Have you taken your meds?" I know she doesn't like to take her medication, she doesn't like us fussing over her, but I can see she's in pain.

"Yeah right Ana you're lying" God it's like having a dad, I thought I managed to escape that! Shit she can see right through me sometimes, but I can't have the hassle!

"Izzy just drop it, I'm fine! You can ask Kate if you want" shit go text Kate and get her on your side Ana, Izzy will probably ask just to make a point. So I decide now is the time to go make some tea, change the subject! As I make my way to the kitchen I still hear Izzy. God it's like I'm her fucking child! I can hear snippets of "I wouldn't have that mom" and "you should tell her"! I can't handle this, I can't handle her bullshit anymore! So I hand mom her tea and set the Xbox up for the boys and excuse myself to go have a shower and say I'm just gonna do some quick sketches.

"Where are you going?" Izzy asks

"I was gonna have a shower and I just want to sketch this idea I've-" but she won't let me finish.

"But we are here! Can't you spend time with us?" Honestly Izzy no, I'm trying to fucking escape from you!

"Yeah I won't be long, I just want to get this down" I again try to make my excuses but she won't let up.

"All you do is bloody sketch Ana! Why don't you do something besides sitting in your room?!"

"Izzy leave her be" I appreciate my moms feeble attempt to calm Izzy down, I really do, but it does piss all.

"No mom, she needs to start taking responsibility and growing up! Instead of sketching and reading, why don't you go get a job!" Now she's yelling.

Ouch that one hurt. "You hurtful bitch!" Fuck excuses now, I don't want to be with her if she's gonna treat me like shit, so I just turn and take my tea upstairs away from her hurtful words.

I slam my bedroom door and put my tea down and slide to the floor and cry! Again I hate crying when I'm angry, but it's not just anger, it's pain! I feel like such a failure, I'm twenty five and I have no job, I had a collection of horrible crap jobs, whereas I should be getting a big promotion, and a great apartment and be in a long term relationship! I can't get a job! I send out application forms, CV, ask around and I can't catch a break! What's wrong with me? Why can't I get a job? Izzy doesn't have a clue! She got pregnant at eighteen, and yeah her boyfriend was a tool, but she's had everyone do everything for her and she thinks she can boss me around! She acts like she's my dad, a way to compensate and keep me here like she couldn't do for Sophia, but it's having the opposite affect and its pushing me away!

Suddenly my phone buzzes! Ah shit what's that? I look at the screen, fuck it's from Christian! I forgot to email him?

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** I'm waiting!

 **Miss Steele if you don't inform me that you are indeed safe I will personally come and knock on your front door and enquire myself!**

Oh fuck, I wouldn't put it past him!

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** On it!

 **Ok I'm sorry my bad! Just got attacked by my family! Don't worry I can handle them, so no need to send in the hit squad!**

Then I realise I put the paper bag he gave me down with my tea. I take it with my tea and sit in my chair and unwrap the mystery inside. It's a plastic dolphin. I laugh, it was from the arcade, you could get on if you win so many tickets, we didn't have enough for big prizes, but I guess we had enough for this. In my already emotional mood I shed another tear at the sweet gesture. This little children's toy means more then flash gifts which I'm sure he could buy. There's a little scrap of paper inside.

 **Smile more. Laugh more. Live more.**

He's right! I won't let Izzy take the wheel of my own life for God's sake!

 **MPOV**

Who the fuck is this bitch holding hands with my master?

 **So ok Ana didn't tell Izzy to go stick her head up her ass, but I've got Ana at a point now where the shit is gonna hit the fan. It's either take a chance or stay like this, and Ana is now finally seeing that! Also we now have a new enemy lol Megan is not impressed by master's new friend!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 25 CPOV**

When I read Ana's email it annoyed me somewhat, she said on our first date that her family where difficult. I know how hard it can be to try and please your family and be the perfect child. I ended up fucking it up in the end though, and I hate that I put my parents through shit. But I don't want Ana feeling more guilt, she takes on too much from what I can tell. That's why this was amazing to see her so happy and carefree at the arcade. I'll admit I was skeptical as to where she was taking me and pissed that she didn't let me pay, but I guess that's to do with her anxiety to money. She will have to get used to it because I plan on spoiling her. Though I know Ana is more into sentiment more so then money, that's why I had to get her something from our date. And ok yeah I didn't have enough tickets to get the big prize, and I was so tempted to just pay for the better one, but I decided to use the tickets I won and got her a small token.

My phone then buzzes, I smile thinking it's Ana. Oh God it's my brother, what has he done now?!

 **Hey Christian get your corporate ass ready cause we are going climbing!**

He wants something! Crap what could he want, there's an insistent tone to the text. Shit has Kate told him about Ana? Oh fuck! I thought I had longer before my family smothered me and Ana, I mean Christ I'm still confused as hell as to what we are! I like her. She likes me, why I don't know! So now what?

Shit am I actually considering talking to my big brother about my feelings for Ana and how to act normal? Wow this is a new low. Ok I can't tell Elliot everything, no one knows the shit that went down with Elena, but he knows the crap that happened before I was adopted. But how do I navigate a relationship when I've never been in one?! Ok maybe I need a second opinion I think as I text him back.

 **Sure. I will grab my gear and meet you there**

An hour later I'm roped up and ready to climb with my brother. I chalk up my hands and start to climb.

"Sooooo, how's it going" Elliot asks a little below me, yup Kate has obviously hinted.

"Not too bad and you? Everything going good at work?" I'll string it out a little, see what he knows.

"Nothing to complain about, got a new project coming up soon. Just finalising the plans...do anything good recently" over emphasis on the DO, subtle Elliot.

I make a leap up and catch the edge, swinging my leg to find a nook for support, "can't say I have Elliot. You?" Suddenly I hear him huff and his grip slips slightly.

"Oh for fucks sake, this is stupid! Kate told me Christian! So who is Ana and why the hell haven't I heard of her?" He asks when he finally gets his balance.

"Because you're a nosey bastard and I didn't want you telling the whole frigging world." It's true, as soon as I let slip about Ana not only will my family swarm in, but worse the media will go crazy! Shit I forgot the media, crap Ana won't like that! That's why it's vital this stays private! But I can't lie to Elliot, not now that he knows, and plus maybe a bit of brotherly advice might help. "And if I'm honest, we haven't really established what we are."

"Holy crap Christian, lets just get this out of the way...you're not gay?!" For Christ sake, yes I didn't bring a girl home ever, but why does that automatically mean gay?!

"No Elliot. I am not nor have I ever been gay. You satisfied by that answer?" There you go, now let it go!

"Yup! Ok I'll let it go, I promise. So this girl, what's the problem? You like her?" Elliot continues.

I answer "Yeah"

"And she likes you?" Still not letting it drop.

"she said she does"

"So what's happening? Why aren't you smiling like a fool that you're getting laid"

Wanker, he always thinks with his dick...well so do you Grey! "Because it's complicated. We both have issues. I feel so confused half the time because I've never felt like this and I don't want to fuck it up!" I reach the first cliff edge and heave myself up.

"I understand you're scared bro. Hell you've got something great and your shitting bricks thinking you're gonna lose it. But, despite whatever you think will fuck it up, you've got to take the risk! There's a thing called communication, apparently it's important, according to Kate!" Elliot now joins me and I help him up so we sit together hanging over the edge. We both then laugh, I can't imagine Elliot expressing feelings! Christ he's worse then me, but a public man whore.

"Fuck me Elliot, you actually talk? As in without your dick?" He then slaps me around the head.

"I know it's new for me to bro. But trust me, the girls they love a guy who talks about his feelings" he adds. I nod, maybe he's right! I gave Ana such a hard time getting her to talk to me about her fears and yet I'm too chicken shit to tell her mine! "And besides, what's the worse that could happen?" Oh well fuck, she could see what a freak I am and tell me to piss off. But then it will be worse if I don't tell her!

 **Still CPOV a few days later**

Since my climb with Elliot I've been thinking more and more about talking with Ana and telling her everything. I don't want to hurt her, but at the same time I don't want to lose her. So I'm now sat in my office, working on the details for a new company I want to get hold of, but all I can think about is meeting up with Ana and thinking of how to tell her about my lifestyle. It's eating me up and I need to deal with it.

With my head in my hands I can hear commotion coming from outside my office. Suddenly my door swings open and Elena storms in looking like a hooker who was denied a tip! Everything is spilling over and jiggling and she comes to stand in front of my desk, Andrea is right behind her apologising.

"It's ok Andrea, I'll deal with this. No interruptions" I dismiss her and turn back to Elena. "What are you doing here Elena?"

"Who the fuck is this little tramp you've been flaunting around with?" She pretty much screeches. Ugh it's horrible. And what the fuck is she talking about?

I try to keep calm, stopping myself from personally throwing her down the elevator shaft, "excuse me?"

"Don't play games with me! You were with some skank a few days ago, holding hands, acting like a little bitch! Now tell me who the hell is she?" She's now right in my face. Bitch don't even go there with your dominate stance, it won't work. Then it dawns on me, she saw a me with Ana. Fuck no! Out of everyone, Elena is the one I feared Ana meeting! And who the fuck does she think she is, calling Ana a skank and a tramp? Has she looked in a fucking mirror lately!

So I laugh, "That's none of your business. What I do with my life has got fuck all to do with you!" Now I'm getting angrier.

"Is she the reason you dismissed Megan? You dump a fantastic sub for fucking hand holding?" Now it's her turn to laugh, and it's an evil sound, "Master Grey is turning soft is it? Don't make me laugh, you're a monster. You'd destroy that meek little bitch, don't kid yourself! People like us don't have feelings, this is why we fuck, and we fuck hard, because that's all we want!" The bitch went right for the throat, she can see me doubting myself. She now had me right where she wanted me. "She doesn't know does she? Oh my god that's so precious! How do you think the little dear will react when you tell her you want to beat her hard and fuck her hard? Has she even seen your whip collection, it's pretty amazing, I'm sure she'll love it"

I whisper because I don't trust my voice, "leave". I'm clenching my fists so hard I think I'm drawing blood. The bitch has just highlighted everything I was afraid of, everything I knew would hurt Ana.

Smirking up at me with those Botox lips she turns and saunters towards the door, "call me when you need a new sub! I've got a girl I've trained to perfection!" And she closes the door laughing.

Her words are on repeat, "you're a monster"...I am! Fuck! I suddenly start shaking, that evil bitch! She ruined my life! All I can see is red, she's ruining my chances at a normal life because she couldn't keep her molesting psycho self off of me! She won't win! She won't take the one thing I want from me! I will fight this, I need to fight this! I need to talk to Ana! I grab my phone and send her a message, then I tell Andrea to cancel my meetings, I need to go and beat up my punchbag instead of my office!


	28. Chapter 28

**Ok this is just a small chapter, but I like the relationship Ana has with her mom. I don't think much is said about Ana's relationship with her mom in the original, and that kind of upset me, so I wanted to make them closer. Also there's some stuff on Ana's trust issues.**

 **Chapter 26 APOV**

"Carla Steele" the receptionist calls out, I grab my mom's bag as we make our way to the physiotherapist. My mom's arthritis is getting worse at the moment, I don't think the stress has helped, and I did find out that mom laid down a patio with Izzy at her house! For gods sake she shouldn't be doing that, no wonder her legs swelled up the other day. I feel so bad for my mom, she's had a pretty tough life and I'd love for her to finally have some freedom, but then she got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. We are both so similar, I'm going through a quarter life crisis and she's going through a midlife crisis, and then we both have Izzy and the boys, and they make us grey.

The physiotherapist gives us some pamphlets which I'll read later tonight and I decide to go treat my mom to a coffee at the hospital canteen. Sad I know, but if we go home now Izzy will probably call and my mom will be on the phone for hours.

Placing the two large lattes on our table I take my seat opposite.

"Ana what's wrong?" My mom suddenly asks.

I force a smile, "nothing mom, I'm fine" I turn my attention back to stirring my coffee. But when I look up my mom gives me that knowing look, aw crap I can't escape now.

"Ana you're my child, I know you like the back of my hand, you can always talk to me honey" and then she takes my hand. I can't burden her with my crap, so I'll give her the edited version.

"I made a friend" well that's kind of true, me and Christian haven't exactly established what we are. Just the feelings part. "And, I guess I'm scared, of trusting people again"

"You think it will be like before?" She asks, I look back at my coffee and nod meekly. "Ana look at me" don't cry Ana, you'll have her worried, "baby I gave you this one life, and it is my wish that you live it and be happy. I don't want you to be afraid anymore, you've missed out on so much because you've been afraid to put your trust in anything, especially yourself. I don't want you to lose out on the great things in life and be smothered by regret. Now if this friend makes you happy, then be happy." It's funny I say the same thing to her, we both have trust issues.

I squeeze her hand, "I will mom" and I take a sip of my coffee.

But then I see an unwelcome sight. I don't think she's seen me and I find I place my hand near my face in a way to hide myself, oh god please don't see me. Walking towards me with her stupid smug husband is my ex-friend Laurie, her hands cradling her swollen stomach with her huge engagement ring and wedding band on show. That's just a huge slap in the face, there is everything you don't have Ana! Oh fuck you bitch!

When I was in university, Laurie was in my English literature class and we got on like a house on fire, not like me and Kate, but I thought we were close. So close that when she got engaged I was set to be her bridesmaid, I was so honoured. But the problems started when I lost my job, and she happened to have a great job and a rich fiancé. When I finished university I was skint and still am, and I found when I couldn't afford to do the things she wanted to do, she started to lose her patience saying I wasn't putting any effort in. The last straw for her was when she decided she wanted to go to Mexico for her bachelorette party, and I couldn't afford to go. She told me I should be grateful for her making me a bridesmaid and that since I wasn't making an effort to go to her big send off then maybe I shouldn't go to the wedding. That broke my heart. One of my closest friends turned on me during a tough time, so I guess money would buy her friendship!

"Oh my God, is that that bitch Laurie?" My mom says a little too loudly, oh balls kill me now.

"Yes mom, thanks for informing the entire hospital!" I cringe into my chair

"Christ she looks fat!" Aw bless she's trying to make me feel better.

"She's pregnant mom!" I laugh

"Ugh well, I guess they suit each other, it's the front and back end of a bus" now we both burst out laughing. I reach across the table and pull her into a big hug, thanking momma bear for protecting her young.

When we get back home I decide to go for a run. I throw on my headphones and pull my hair up and take off. I need to think. Ok Ana so yeah you don't have a job, and you live at home and you're a twenty five year old virgin and you're depressed blah blah blah, but fuck it! Screw ex-friends, ex-bosses, ex-family, ex-everything, fuck you all, I don't need you, I'll be just fine! And ok this with Christian yes it's exciting and it feels amazing, and you like him and he likes you! Let's go from there shall we?

After I wash off the sweat from my great run I notice my phone is flashing. Ooo an email.

 **To:** Ana Steele

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** You

 **And I are going out! I will pick you up tomorrow morning at 9am so be ready! I advice you wear something comfortable and preferably something to swim in, though I'd prefer you naked.**

Oh my god where is he taking me? And what the fuck, he ain't seeing me naked! Cheeky bastard. I send back a reply.

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **From:** Ana Steele

 **Subject:** indecent exposure

 **Right well that settles it, I shall bring my full body wetsuit. I'll see you tomorrow!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Ok I just finished and thought I'd get this up. Sorry for any typos, I'll fix :)**

 **Chapter 27 CPOV**

Yeah right, like a full body wetsuit would stop me! That woman could be wearing a black bag with week old trash hanging out the side and she'd still be beautiful. I've got my plan in order and ready to go, I've just got to pick up a few things. I've had Mrs Jones prepare enough food, cause I have no idea how long we are going to be gone, not that I've told Ana a deadline. Taylor has done the checks so everything is a go! Now I've just gotta pick up my guest.

So here I am, parked a little away from Ana's house, waiting for her emerge. It's funny as hell that I can't actually go knock on the door, I know she lives with her mom, it's not like I'm gonna make some shit head joke. My phone finally bings.

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **From: Ana Steele**

 **Subject: Huston**

 **There is no problem. I shall be with you in three, two...**

And right on cue she emerges from her house, looking stunning. I've never seen her in a skirt, in fact she is so covered up most of the time that this is quite a shock. Her black vest shows off the delicate curve of her collarbone and nicely toned arms, I guess Miss Steele is more then just a book worm. As she gets closer I get out of the car to greet her, planting a kiss on her forehead and opening the car door.

Once I close my door I start the car and start our journey to the next destination. "I've gotta say you look pretty good first thing in the morning, and a lot more pleasant, especially since the last time" no flipping me off this time.

"Ha ha you're hilarious!" She looks over giving me an evil stare, aw there she is. And thank god her eye is so much better, the swelling has gone down and there's just some yellow bruising left. "You're lucky. I don't get up for just anything! So you better deliver Grey!"

"Oh I don't think this will disappoint" I am pretty confident, Ana could do with some time away. And plus, I think there's an adventurous side to her, oh god that sounds wrong Grey, what with the conversation we need to have! I do get an adrenaline junkie vibe from her, so this will be fun! Luckily we are getting close now, so we shall see.

I turn into the car park and turn off the ignition. As I make my way round to open the door Ana is already out, for Gods sake woman don't ruin the mood I am trying to create! She smirks at me knowing she's frustrated me, independent women need a little wooing too Miss Steele! But then I notice her bag. Attached to the strap is the plastic dolphin I gave her from the arcade, my frustration drains and I take her by the hand and lead her to my surprise.

"Where are we going Christian?" Ana asks as I pull her along. I'm getting excited now, I've never really shared this with anyone. Usually it's just my family, but no one else.

"I thought you might like to check out one of my favourite places, since you shared yours with me" and the chance to see her relaxed was amazing. So hopefully being here will give me the guts to actually move forward with my life. I can finally see now, and I put my arm around Ana's shoulder and make the introductions, "welcome to my favourite place"

Ana starts doing a double take, her mouth dragging on the floor. Ok I guess it is a sight, but still. "Christian that's a boat! Correction that's like the fucking Titanic! Oh my God!"

I've gotta laugh, though I hope she's not like the Titanic, I love his boat. She takes me away from all the crap in my life, takes me to the middle of nowhere, anywhere. That's why I named her after my mom, she too had the power to take me away from all the bad in my life. I turn to Ana, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her close. "Ana, you shared something special with me, and now I'd like the return the favour. I've never shared this with anyone, so I guess that means I kind of like you" wow did I just say that, aw balls I really am a pussy!

The sea breeze is starting to pick up and some lose waves fall from her messy braid, then she makes a bold move, she suddenly pushes up on her tiptoes looking me straight in the eye and kisses me. I'm so much in shock, usually it's me jumping her, that she takes full advantage slipping her tongue gently into my mouth. Fuck me! My arms tighten around her bringing her slightly off the ground, her hands clasping my forearms. Then she pulls away, "thank you" then she turns towards my boat, her cheeks flushed, "come on, I want to see what she's like!"

 **APOV**

A boat! A frigging boat! Oh course he has a boat Ana, it's obviously! Shit I took him to an arcade! But you can't let that affect you, he's not like those other bastards who throw their money in your face and make you feel like a failure. He's a good guy, and remember what you told yourself? Fuck everything. So let's do this, let's see where this goes, plus you've always wanted to go on a boat. Though I did think my first boat encounter would be a rubber dingy.

Christian jumps on board first and holds out his hands to help me over. Let him Ana, it's ok to have help, it doesn't make you weak. Plus if you don't let him help you'll probably fall on your ass and look like a nerd! Now I'm finally on board he takes me on a tour of this huge floating mansion! I know nothing about boats, but wow, this one is stunning. It's bigger then my house!

"And here is the master suite" Christian declares opening the last door to a spacious room, the decor is warm with browns and creams, with a huge bed facing a large window. What a view to wake up to.

I walk further into the room to get a better view. It's like I've died and gone to heaven, this is incredible. Christian is behind me, his arms wrapping around me, his nose in my hair. "Fancy taking her out?"

I turn so quickly I nearly headbutt him, "seriously?"

Rolling his eyes at me he replies, "do you think I brought you out here to admire my taste in decor? Of course we're going to take her out, I plan on giving you a lesson in sailing" then he narrows his eyes, "are you up for that?"

"You'd trust me with your boat?" I laugh

Scrunching his face, he debates, "yeah I think you can handle her" and he then takes my hand and drags me to the top deck.

Now I know nothing when it comes to sailing and boats, so I try not to get in Christian's way, and there's something so sexy about him tying those knots. Fuck Ana stop perving, and concentrate on not falling overboard. And then we are suddenly moving, holy crap, if I puke I'll never live it down! But then Christian grabs my hand and puts me behind the wheel, sandwiching me between him. Ah shit I hope to god he can't feel my heart going into overdrive. Him breathing by my ear doesn't help, I gulp a bit too loudly. I try to focus on the view before me, we race away from the shore, the cove opening up until there is nothing but ocean. It's beautiful.

We are finally alone, civilisation way behind us. Backing away slightly I think Christian is going to press some more buttons or do some navigating, more sailing stuff. But instead he starts to walk away down the stairs towards the lower decks. I panic.

"Wow! Oh my God Christian what are you doing? Where are you going?" Shit don't leave, I can't do this alone!

"I'm just going to get some stuff, I'll be back now, relax" he laughs, how the fuck can he laugh? Does he not see the sheer panic on my face?

"But shit man, what if I kill your boat? I could hit some rocks! Crash into the shore! Hit an iceberg! You can't leave me!" I start squeaking!

Coming to stand right next to me, Christian places his hand back on mine which are gripping the wheel for dear life. "We are in the middle of the ocean. There is no shore. No rocks. And definitely no icebergs" Then he whispers in my ear, "you're doing great, have a little more faith in yourself" and with that he kisses my ear and leaves.

I'm still shaking, despite his faith in me. Breathe Ana! You can do this! Just do what Christian said, keep it steady and you'll do fine. The seconds go by, I'm still frantic. Where is he? It's been two minutes already. But you haven't killed the boat Ana! He was right. Just relax! Ease up on your grip, your hands are white. Stop worrying. You're sailing. "I'm sailing" I whisper. I am sailing this huge boat.

Christian still hasn't returned, bastard, but I'm fine! Nothing has happened, I feel confident.

"ANA LOOK OUT!" Christian yells

Suddenly I scream so loud and let go of the wheel. Christian is right behind me regaining control, laughing his ass off. What the fuck!

"Steele you failed your lesson, be prepared!" He fakes a stern tone. But then he bursts out laughing.

I squirm in between him and the wheel to look at him, "oh you wanker! That's so not funny! I hate you right now!" And I try to move away but he has me secure. My stomach is in my throat! I give him a punch on the arm, he deserved it for that move! That was one hell of an evil joke, so now I pout! But I think that makes him laugh harder.

"Baby I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you" he says still laughing "I guess my timing sucks when it comes to my comedic skills?" Gee you think. I'm still pouting though, not cool bitch. So I guess he goes to plan B. His lips are at my ear, though his tone still has a slight chuckle, and he gently bites my lobe. Oh you bastard, that's not cool either! But I can't pull away, or hit him in the groin, even though I want to. Taking one hand off the wheel he starts to running his fingers up my arm making me shiver. "I didn't mean to upset you. But I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Shall I make it up to you?" His lips are making their way down my neck and across my shoulder. "You have the most unfeminine scream I have ever heard" ok that one deserves a kick, so I kick him in the shin and he bites down on my shoulder to stop from laughing harder.

"Ow! Oh my god you are so evil! You scare the complete crap out of me, make fun of my lack of femininity and now you bit me!" But now he's laughing so hard he's practically hunched by my waist. Really? But I can't help it now, I'm laughing with him! A hand reaches up, and Christian fiddles with some levers and buttons and we begin to slow down. I guess this means we're stoping. Dropping anchor, all that jazz. Christian then goes to work, pulling things down, tying things off. He looks so in control, god he's so yummy. This is where he gets those amazing hands from then? All that rope pulling has left him with rough manly hands, not the tacky manicured ones a business man usually has. But then Christian takes off his jumper, wiping his head with the back of his hand! Oh God, I think I've just cum! Seriously Ana?! I'm so glad I wore a skirt, I can easily squeeze my thighs together without it being too obvious! Fuck! You'd never imagine a business man with a body like that! It should be illegal for him to wear clothes, you shouldn't cover up something so incredible!

Coming up behind me, he removes my hands from the wheel. Christ he smells of sweat, I try to swallow but it's no use, I'm fucked! "I think we're far enough. Now we can play" and with that he takes my hand and takes me...I don't know where and I don't care, just as long as he keeps his shirt off!

 **CPOV**

I'm not usually a vain guy, but watching Ana squirm as I took my jumper off was very satisfying. This was a great plan, getting to run around half naked with no one to see us, smart Grey. I take Ana to the sunbathing deck where I leave her to get comfortable while I get us something to drink, I'm thinking beer, this is about relaxing after all. But when I get back I practically choke on my beer! Not the half naked vision I had in mind Miss Steele. True to her word she has a full body wetsuit on! I guess I deserved that, especially after I scared the crap out of her. Hmmm I wonder if she's naked underneath?

I hand her the beer which she takes with a large smile, I guess she's feeling pretty smug. One point for the lady.

"Planning on a deep sea adventure Miss Steele?" I ask as I sit next her.

She pushes her sunglasses to the end of her nose, "you don't think I look sexy in my wetsuit?"

"Oh believe me, you look sexy in anything, but I don't think you will catch much sun in that!" I can see she's got flecks of red in her brown locks, compliments those freckles.

"Why thank you. And I do believe you're right, and I can't pass up this chance to catch some rays can I?" Oh fuck I think I'm about to eat my words!

It's like slow motion, Ana stands, turns and slowly unzips her wetsuit revealing a tiny stripped bikini. Jesus Christ is she trying to kill me?! She has the most sculpted back, and her hair whips from side to side in the breeze. Turning towards me she showcases strong abs which I can't wait to run my tongue across and don't get me started on her breasts! Shit my jeans are getting painfully tight, I hope the buttons don't pop!

Then she finally takes her seat again, sprawling out absorbing the sun, completely at ease! Whereas I am left shell shocked! Fuck! I am a heartbeat away from jumping her, but then I remember we were supposed to talk. Ah fuck it! I move over to Ana and hover over her, holding my weight.

"Mr Grey you are blocking my sun" she fakes annoyance, but I can tell her breathing has changed.

"Forgive the intrusion, but there was no way I could not do what I'm about to do with you looking like that" I look her up and down. And then I start my journey, starting at the corner of her mouth. She moans when I just miss her lips. But I start to kiss and suck her beautiful skin, moving down the column of her neck. As I continue South, Ana's hands move to my hair, gripping and tugging as my tongue trances the seam of her bikini top. Arching her back she forces her breasts closer and who am I to deny that, my arms snake around her waist drawing her closer to me as I bite the swell of her breast. Shit I'm desperate for more, she is panting like crazy and I am inches away from untying her bikini, fuck it we can talk later.

"Wait" I think I hear? So I continue. "Christian stop!" Ana groans, sounding like she doesn't want me to really.

"Are you sure you want me to stop?" I murmur against her skin and my one hand moves to her knee, hiking it around my waist. She feels so hot against my skin, and the way she's tugging my hair shows she's not so eager to stop either.

My lips then move back up towards her lips and take full advantage. We move against each other causing delicious friction, fuck I need her and I need her now.

But when Ana's hand skims my back I freeze! Shit I need stop, I can't hurt her. I pull off panting like I've done a fifty mile sprint!

"You're right...we need to talk" but it doesn't help when she looks up at me looking rejected! I don't want that, it's taking everything I have not to fuck her senseless right here, right now! But she isn't just some sub or one-night stand, I need to be honest if there is any chance of this going beyond today! I take her face in my hands and kiss her gently. "If I let this go further, and believe me I want to, there's some stuff I need to tell you first".

 **so let's rip off this plaster shall we! Ok also I've put together a Pinterest page. Here's the link, hope it works lol**

 **Absluv00/a-new-twist/**


	30. Chapter 30

**Oooo so here we have the big confession! I didn't want Christian fluffing around being all mysterious, instead I just go for word vomit lol excuse any typos! :)**

 **Chapter 28 CPOV**

So now I have her full attention. Fuck, what do I do now? Ana is still sat, looking up at me with those beautiful eyes. A change in location, and I need her to throw some clothes on. I can't have a serious conversation with a hard on! So I take her inside towards the lounge and tell her to make herself comfortable while I get us some more drink, I need something stronger and I'm guessing she might. Especially when she learns what a freak I am and probably sticks a harpoon up my ass! I fix us both vodka on the rocks, yeah that will work! But I already finish my first, shit I'm nervous! I throw back my second glass, yup that's the stuff! Take it slow Grey, you need to be coherent.

Luckily when I get back to Ana she has put on some kimono wrap, and though she's covered I still get a glimpse of her cleavage. But she looks on guard already and we haven't even began. Well, we need to talk is usually code for FUCK! So I don't blame her for frowning when I hand her the drink.

"Ok, I really need to do this Ana and it's going to be difficult, so I really need you to have some patience...can you do that?" I sound so vulnerable, shit Grey grow a pair! Ana looks so concerned that I just want to drop this all and hug her, but I need to do this! I can't have Elena and her bullshit hanging over me and probably destroying the one good thing in my life.

"I had a pretty shitty life Ana, before I was adopted, I mean. My mother, the one who gave birth to me, was a prostitute and an addict of everything. She drank, injected, snorted, smoked and fucked her problems away. I was one of those problems. My actual family history is a huge big void, I have no idea who my father is, I have no extended family that I know of. I was all alone with a mother who hated me. But I was a money ticket, she would get money from the state for me, so she couldn't do me a favour and put me up for adoption earlier. Instead she made my life a living hell. As an addict she didn't give a shit about food or drink, just her fix, I however was left with hardly any food." I take a swig of my vodka, not even risking a glance at Ana yet. "I remember my mother shouting at me all the time, I was the reason she came down from her high, that she had a hangover, that her clients didn't tip better. So she'd take out her anger on me, with her disgusting freak pimp. I was their entertainment, their human ashtray. I'll spare you the details, but I think you get the point. I was four when they both left me. Where they went I have no clue. But my mother left me. And for four days I cried. Until I guess a neighbour had called the police. Why they didn't before I again don't know, but this time I was safe." And now I can finally crack a smile during this time of pain. "That's when I met the mom I was supposed to have. Grace was the doctor on duty when I was taken to hospital" she really was my guardian angel. "Despite all the shit, I was finally given some luck and I was adopted. But I still had the scars and they are always there to remind me just how cruel someone's touch can be. I shy away from contact, I can't have anyone put their hands on my chest and back, not until I trust them. And like yourself Miss Steele, I also have trust issues. Which is why I need to talk to you before we continue"

Now I risk it and glance at Ana. She has tears running down her cheeks, splashing into her drink. I'm not ashamed of my past, I was a child, I had no control over what those monsters did to me. I did however have control over how I dealt with it, and this is the part I am worried about. "Would you like another drink?" I know I do. Ana nods, wiping the tears away. As I pour us a drink I debate on how to actually approach the next part of my story. If I'm honest I don't even want to mention Elena and her disgusting nature, especially since I agreed to it. I go to turn to give Ana her drink when I see she's right behind me, so we both down our drink, frowning with displeasure at the vile taste. But that doesn't stop us from having another two each. Fuck! Do it Grey! Let's get past this!

"Are you ok if I continue?" I ask

Ana laughs in disbelief I think, "you just told me all that terrible stuff that happened to you, and you're asking me if I'm ok for you to go on? I'm here Christian, I'm here to listen and to help, in any way I can. So are you ok to go on? Don't just say this because of me, I don't want you to hurt just so I'm up to date"

How can someone actually give a shit about me? I mean we've known each other for what a month and she wants to help me? Why? I'm nothing. Maybe we are more alike then. I plant a kiss on her forehead, it's comforting for me and it's my way of thanking her. Then I take her hand and lead her back towards the sofa.

"When I was a kid I used to fight! Shit it drove my parents up the fucking wall. But for me, I was an angry kid, it was the only therapy that worked. And believe me I've had every form of therapy out there. But when you hate being touched, but craved intimacy and felt rejected by everyone, I was confused as hell and fighting was my release. That was until I'd been expelled from so many schools and kicked out of therapy and I found a new release." I take a deep breath and look Ana in the eye as I rip the bandaid off. "Do you know what BDSM is?"

Ana's eyebrows nearly shoot off her face, "Yes...I'm fully aware".

Now it's me who looks surprised, "How?"

Taking a long swig of her drink and looking a little embarrassed Ana continues, "I-uh, I used to work in a sex shop".

My drink shoots from my mouth! What the fuck! That wasn't what I expected. Shit is she into BDSM? I'd kill anyone who punished her.

As I have an internal debate and forget to reply, Ana laughs a little, "So I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're a Dominant right?"

Holy shit she knows the terminology! How would someone so innocent know this? "Yes"

She nobs at that response, frowning, then she whispers looking down, "So you want me to be your submissive?"

"At the beginning, yes." Now...I couldn't hurt her.

Suddenly she stands, looking really pissed off, "Well you see there's the problem, I'm not submissive"

Ok inappropriate, but I laugh, "Oh I'm aware of that Miss Steele"

But I stop when she turns to me and glares, and I see her eyes start to glaze over, "So again we seem to get over one obstacle and then fall into a ditch." Turning towards to railing she adds, "This really is doomed"

Oh fuck no, I don't think so. I get up and wrap my arms around her tiny shoulders, "Don't say that" I refuse to lose you.

"I don't want you to change Christain, you have certain tastes and that's cool, I don't judge people. But if it were a little bit of play then maybe I could handle that. But I take it your tastes include punishment, with canes and whips right?" Ana asks still looking towards the sea.

"Yes in the past"

Now she turns in my arms, putting some distance between us. She squares her shoulders, "So let me ask you this, if you hit me with a cane for being bad, could I hit you if you pissed me off?"

What the fuck! My Dom side is twitching! "No"

"Why not?" She asks, folding her arms across her chest pushing her breasts together! Shit!

I feel my dominant stance coming into play, she's challenging me, "Because you can't"

"Ok, but then you'd want to tie me up yeah?"

"Of course" well duh!

"Could I tie you up?" She counters

Now she's really pushing it, "No"

"Why not?"

"Because you can't" now drop it!

"But I don't want to be tied up! The idea of being restrained frightens me and trust me if you so much as touch me with a cane, I'd shove it so far up your ass that you'd be shitting through your teeth" Oo cheeky little thing you are!

I smirk at her for that one, "Ooo so there is a kinky side to you then"

But she just looks even more annoyed, "I'm not prude, I don't believe in judging until you try something. But you want hardcore BDSM...oh my god and I haven't even..."

"What?" I thought BDSM wasn't a mainstream thing, so I wasn't expecting her to have tried it. I'm surprised that she even knew the terminology.

But now she looks defeated, the fight has gone. Fuck. At least when we're arguing I know she gives a shit. "Nothing. It doesn't matter, I can't be what you want and I won't change and neither should you! I think it's best I go." And she moves around me and walks away. I don't know if I'm more surprised that she walked away, or amused by the fact that she has forgotten we are on a boat in the middle of nowhere! Where's she going to hide, the bathroom?

When I follow after her I nearly piss myself when I see her at the other end of the boat, near the railings stomping her foot. Yup she's now realised there's no escaping. So I lean on the railing next to her and smirk, "You do realise we are at sea right? So you can't escape now! No more running away from us!"

Huffing and running her hands through her hair Ana turns to me looking so disappointed, "There can't be an us Christian! I mean I was willing to put aside all that 'I'm not in your league' crap, but this is a whole new ball game!"

I don't want to see that face again, I want her happy. So I gently take her face in my hands, praying she doesn't hit me away and listens. When she doesn't I continue, "I wouldn't force you to do anything Ana, but I think we need to hear each other out before deciding! I'm not asking you to sign your rights away and I lock you in a dungeon...well...no what I mean is...I've done some thinking and I'm willing to try if you are?"

"Christian I've never let anyone get close to me physically and yet you expect me to just let you tie me up and do what to me?"

Wow wow wow! What? What did she say? All I heard was 'never', 'anyone' and 'physically' I'm confused! "What do you mean?"

There is a slight blush forming on those cheeks, "Well you tying me up is a no-"

"No! No! You've never let anyone physically near to you! What do you mean?" She can't mean that can she?!

"Do I have to spell it out Grey?" She's exasperated now!

"You're a virgin?" I say slowly.

"Got it in one" the walls are up, she's just confessed a giant secret and she's now on the defence as to how I will take it! Has she been laughed at before?

"How? Why? What? Fucking hell! I've just told you I'm into BDSM and you just- No way can you-that's impossible! This is insane!" I stutter! Oh my God! How the fuck? No one has touched her? Ever?

"Relax man I'm not a fucking unicorn!" No, it's frigging much better! So much better then a unicorn! An untouched treasure, just for me!

"But you're 25! Nearly 26! And you're beautiful!" So before all this crap with me and confessing my past and lifestyle, I was the only one she was letting get close to her! Me! The complete fucked up freak! She was hot and ready for me, no one else!

"Thanks but we're getting sidetracked, I can't be your submissive, I can't be with you when-" Like her purity is no big deal! Like hell it is! So I grab her and kiss her hard! Shutting her up and pulling her close! All the fury, pain, hurt, frustration, elation, every emotion I have is now pouring into this kiss. And she isn't holding back either. My hand weaves it's way into her hair pulling her closer as I devour her, Christ I need to get closer. And Ana's just as bad, she sucks on my bottom lip then bites hard causing me to moan, which she takes full advantage off.

"I'd have to hit you back if you ever hit me" She says against my lips, angry and forceful.

I laugh against her heated flesh, "I don't doubt that" and then I move back to her mouth "I'd never hurt you Ana".

With her being so tiny my hands move to her ass, squeezing and lifting her up, not breaking the contact. With her arms around my neck and legs around my waist I walk us inside.

 **Ok so it's all out! I also thought that BDSM wasn't such a bad confession! I mean who are we to judge. So I wanted Ana like "yeah ok don't change that's cool", because it's not a disease and not all BDSM participants have screwed up pasts. Well not Elena, but seeing how she's been recently I guess he wants her out of his life. There's no way she and Ana will meet...lol ok I'm not good at writing, so I'm gonna be like wtf when I write this next part, so bear with me lol**


	31. Chapter 31

**Haha ok I have to admit I found this so awkward lol but hope it's ok! Again if there are any typos I'm sorry lol**

 **Chapter 29 APOV**

Getting your ass grabbed is an inevitable thing when it comes to waitressing. And the hands behind the grabbing, are usually from some old creepy fat guy or some cocky young guy with a pack of friends. Being attacked by either isn't nice, and I usually smack any hands that come into contact with my ass, and it got me a warning once in work! You have to treat the customers right Ana, yeah right! But when Christian suddenly grabbed my ass I thought against all those crude memories, this is Christian after all, I think he's got a bit more class then those other scum bags. So instead of hitting him, I wrapped by legs around him, squeezing, trying to get closer.

On route to wherever he was taking us, we bump constantly into things, a wall, a counter, luckily we haven't fallen yet, but we can't stop from laughing. This isn't like one of those serious, "I must have you now" moments and it's all perfect and there's some love song in the back. This is better, he confessed some pretty big secrets, I've threatened to hit him, and yup now we do fall, the master bedroom door took some force and we end up on floor, still laughing like crazy.

"Is it a mood killer if I nearly pissed my pants" I laugh against him as he strokes the hair from my face, he looks so carefree. He slowly nods and kisses me softly. But I guess Christian wants to keep this soft and gentle, I have other ideas! I'm not a prude, I don't think sex is evil, or that I'm a Christian where I want to wait for marriage and no I don't believe in soulmates. What I do believe is that if I feel confident and comfortable, in both myself and the guy, then I'm gonna go for it. That was my rule whenever I did decide to have sex for the first time, the situation had to feel right for me, and me only. Even if this were just a one night stand, it would still be Christian, because no one have ever made me feel like this. Relaxed, having fun, thinking of me. That's all I wanted, was for this to be for me.

The kissing has got to a heavy point now, he has his arm snaked around my waist pulling me closer! Holy fuck! Either his equipment is huge or that's where he keeps his wallet. Either way I don't care because the zip on his jeans is rubbing against me and driving me crazy. I start clawing for his jeans, yup I need those off now Grey!

"Wow wow, Ana we need to stop" he suddenly says hovering over me! What the fuck!

"Please tell me you are joking, or I swear I will flick you in the face Grey!" Bastard gives me a 'yeah right' look and then decides to lick from my cleavage to my neck, yeah like that's gonna make me stop!

"Believe me, I'm not saying to stop because I don't want this, the wood between my legs is evidence of that. But Ana I don't want you to lose your virginity on the floor, after me frightening you about my past-" I pull him down to shut him up this time. It could have been so much worse, and I thought of loads of crazy and creepy things, him being into BDSM and having a fucked up past, pretty average!

"Thank you. I appreciate you're concern, but I'd rather have the perfect person then the perfect location" and I think that eases his mind.

But nope he pulls back again, "Shit at least lets actually move to the bed, and I think Mia brought candles and girlie stuff here before, I could make it perfect"

"Here, right now, this second, is perfect. Don't ruin it" yup that gets him this time, and he doesn't stop now. There's something incredible about feeling Christian's weight on me, it makes me feel so safe and wanted. I want so badly to claw at his back, but I mustn't, shit that's gonna be difficult, so I go back to his pants. Shit why are belts so annoying, I have to break away slightly to get the thing off and fiddle with the zip. Pushing my foot down his ass, I manage to get them off, well with his help, and he leans up slightly removing his boxers! Yup that's not his wallet! Holy fuck! That's gonna break me in two! He smirks when he catches me looking and bends right over me kissing me, then my jaw then my neck and he continues down, like before. Only this time he makes it to my bikini bottoms, and suddenly he grabs my hips and brings them to his face where he inhales my scent. Damn he's good. And then slowly he pulls off my bottoms with his teeth, while lowering me back down. I'm left in total shock, which he takes full advantage of, dominating me with his intense kiss.

When he starts fiddling with the back of my bikini top, I manage to take him by surprise and flip him onto his back and straddle him. Panting like a maniac he looks up at me confused, "if we're gonna do this" Christ Ana breathe "I need to do this my way" ha meet my dominate side Grey, they should have fun! "Ok, first things first, do you have a condom?" There is no way I'm finally doing this with no protection! I ain't risking a pregnancy or STI or...shut up Ana don't ruin this.

Christian grins up at me and rolls slightly nearly flipping me off and grabs his jeans, taking a condom out of the pocket and handing to me. "So this was a given huh? You used your boat to finally get me to drop my panties? Christ am I that easy" I laugh but a little niggle in my head annoys me. Fuck I'm sat here naked, straddling this hot guy, condom in hand and I've know him for what five minutes. I've waited 25 years, so frightened of this moment, and here it is. I don't want to end up like Izzy and Sophia and just have loads of kids, I want to do something with my life. I've avoided a relationship for so long cause I never wanted to be held back by a guy and kids, instead I've been held back by my family, ex-friends and me. So what do you do Ana?

Christian has now sat up, his hands on my face, resting his forehead against mine, our breathing still erratic. "Believe me Anastasia you were never easy. But I couldn't leave you alone. And the fight has been well worth it".

That's my cue. Planting a single kiss on his lips, I whisper, "lie back" which he complies. And he is a sight, I bite my lip and rip open the condom. I may be a Virgin, but with a very fertile family I made sure I knew how to protect myself, and this is one way. So I pinch the tip and slowly roll it down making him squirm, haha I love it, I feel so powerful. Me powerful! Never would I ever think that! Now in my brave state I look down at the hot guy between my legs and undo my bikini top, I am now completely naked, completely vulnerable. Christian's hands are on my thighs squeezing, I can tell he's desperate to touch me, and I want to push that a little further. I guess I'm on a power trip, but I wouldn't be doing this feeling pressured or frightened. Very very gently, while still looking at Christian I begin to stroke my thighs. I close my eyes as my hands continue their caress, loving the loud gulp I hear from Christian, and my hand slips lower causing him to gasp. Touching yourself with your fantasy actually sat watching you is an intense feeling, and it's making me wet. Now I need to do this Ana, so I raise myself up, careful not to accidentally touch him chest and position myself on him and I start to lower myself down.

Now, no life like dildo or ribbed vibrator could have prepared me for this, I finally push down on Christian as slowly as I can, his hands have hold of my hips helping to bring me down. Shit, I can feel the sting and I try to adjust. But how, shit I start to tense in anxiety, this is gonna hurt.

"Do you trust me?" I think Christian asks, I think I nod, I'm not sure. I'm still pushing down. Then the sting intensifies as Christian bolts up, pushing himself in deeper and causing me to yelp. "Try to relax" he says kissing behind my ear, "I've got you" and he holds me still while I adjust! Shit that was worse then any gynaecologist appointment. But now finally the pain is ebbing away, thanks to Christian who continues to kiss me and soothe me.

"I'm-I'm ok" I murmur against his lips, and he starts to gently rock me causing me to moan into his mouth. I've got this now Grey, I gently push him down by his shoulders, and I finally get back my control. I lean back and place my hands on his knees and start to circle my hips, stretching me deep inside.

"So fucking beautiful" Christian moans somewhere on the floor, I don't know I'm not really listening at the moment, I'm too lost. He's pinching my hips with his vice like grip and it feels amazing, loving the fact that I'll probably have the evidence later. And then he starts thrusting hard, pushing me down in sync, hitting me deliciously hard!

I use my legs for leverage and push down hard causing us to both scream out, I think we kind of egg each on, the harder I go, the harder he does. Gone is the sweet gentleness when this started, now 25 years of horniess is going crazy! Poor Christian I hope I don't break his dick with my cave woman behaviour! As I begin to clench Christian sits up pushing his face into my neck and he thrusts harder. Shit I need to cum or I'm gonna fucking explode! Too late! I could be screaming Gods know what because I am so out of it, but Christian has found his release as he grunts into my neck.

I roll off and lie on my back on the floor. Breathing heavily I look up at the ceiling. Shit, I am a virgin no more! I thought I'd feel different. Just a little sore, but that's obvious. Christian has joined me and is now holding my hand, I smile.

"Soo" why is there silence? Christian then rolls onto his side leaning on his elbow, playing with my fingers.

"Are you ok?" He looks worried, aw bless, I didn't exactly act like a gentle lady did I?

"Very" and I can't help but blush! But hey the guy is butt naked with me, my dignity is gone. He suddenly looks away with a scrunched up expression, "what?"

"Ok, I've gotta ask" he takes a deep breath, "how were you that good, seeing as though you were a virgin? I mean I just expected you to lie there and I'd do all the work"

Now it's my turn to smirk, "well I'm sorry to disappoint you Mr Grey, but you weren't my first" I bite my lip laughing. He looks annoyed/confused/sad. So I continue "I was my first. I know my body very well, and I know what feels good for me." Now he looks angry in a very sexy way and he now covers me with that impressive body and kisses me furiously.

"You're mine! You hear that pretty girl! And I'm willing to share you with yourself sometimes, but no one else" I never thought something so possessive could be so hot.

I pull his face closer and take his lip between my teeth and bite, then I plant a kiss on the side of his mouth, "Show me what you've got then Grey".


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 30 CPOV**

Bloody hell that was insane! Ana has worn herself out, and if I'm honest I'm proud as hell that she is well fucked and sleeping sound. I'm still surprised that she was a Virgin, Christ that was a shock! But she didn't fuck like a virgin, she knew what she was doing, and she played me right into those pretty hands. Now I am the one who has to have control, me, the Dom. But for her first time I was willing to give her what she needed to be comfortable, and that meant handing over the reins to her. And she didn't disappoint and I would be willing to give her control if it meant I got to watch her pleasure herself. Led between her legs I got front row seats to the magic of Ana, looking up at her solid toned abs that contracted every time she fucked her fingers. And the way her head went back pushing her breasts up made me squeeze her thighs in frustration. I was desperate to touch her, fling her to the floor and make her scream my name. But I had to remind myself, this was about Ana. And she needed to do this her way, and I was the lucky bastard who got to take her there. But after tonight Miss Steele I will be taking control!

I look down at the sleeping beauty sprawled in amongst the sheets, we did eventually make it to the bed, well the fifth time round. I smirk at the memory of Ana's eyes rolling back in ecstasy, the feeling of her toes digging into my ass as they curled when she was close, all that was due to me. She let me have that privilege! Don't fuck this up then Grey, she deserves to be cherished! Well you came clean, that's good, she didn't run away, now there's nothing to come a rear its ugly head...but you left out the part about your mother's psycho friend luring you into the lifestyle at the age of 15. But, I don't know, maybe it felt wrong telling her. I mean, for the first time in years I am starting to understand what Flynn has been trying to drill into me. Elena was a predator, I was her prey, she took advantage of a fucked up kid for her own screwed up needs. If I'm gonna be the man that Ana deserves then I need to rid myself of this evil, and I think it's time to unmask Elena, and I think my family need to know first. I know it's going to break them, but I can't have her running my life anymore.

Ana starts to stir, and frowns, she's dreaming. I lean down and kiss the soft v. She sighs and rolls onto the stomach exposing her naked back. I find my fingers trace along the line of her spine, kissing the odd freckle of on her shoulder. Resting my head back down and relishing in the warmth of her body.

There's a ringing in my ear. It's high pitched and hurting. Shit what is that? My lids refuse to open, shit it's too early, my hands go in search of Ana. Again she's missing. Now my eyes open and I see her running around the room fiddling with her bra clasp. Why is she getting dressed? I think she sees me waking up and suddenly throws my jeans at me! Again why is she getting dressed?

"Christian please get up I need to get home! Everyone is going apeshit, my sister has left me like twenty messages, she needs help with the boys, and my mom is going crazy!" She looks on the verge of tears. Shit, what time is it?

Forgetting the jeans for a second I roll out of bed and go to calm her down. Why is she so upset? Surely her family would understand, she's a grown woman! "Ana calm down. Why don't you ring them and I'll get us some coffee"

"Please Christian I don't need coffee, I just need to get home." She begs now.

"Baby, we are a few hours from shore-" I start but Ana's eye nearly fly from the sockets and she starts pacing.

"A few hours, oh my God. I need to help with the boys for kickboxing, shit! My mom is gonna be struggling, Izzy will be going mad! Fuck, haven't you got a helicopter that can fly is out?" She looks at me desperate. Ok yeah I could easily have her flown out, but honestly she can't let her family dictate her life.

Wait a minute!

"Hang on! Where did you tell your family you were? Didn't you tell them you're with me?" I mean yeah she doesn't have to tell them everything, but I kind of liked e idea of her mentioning me.

"No, I told them I was with Kate. She's kind of my escape hatch"

"So you haven't told them about us?" I continue to probe.

"No I haven't told them" ouch that hurts. But then again I haven't told my family, well Elliot knows.

"Why? Are you ashamed of me?" Great now I sound like the moaning girl, asking "where's this going?!"

Now she looks exasperated, and she takes my face in her hands, "of course not. It's just...with my family, we are so close that ones business is everyone's business. And I know the moment I tell them about you, it stops being about me and you and starts being about them. And I want to be selfish, for just a while longer"

I can understand that. That's the reason I haven't told anyone, cause quite literally once everyone knows, it won't be about me and Ana, it will be suddenly be the nations business. So I lean down and kiss her, my way of saying I understand. I let her go and put on my jumper and go prepare the boat. Fuck I thought I was afraid to upset my family. But with Ana she looked terrified, like her not letting them know where she was or when she would be back or that she was late was like the worse crime in the world. But she's a twenty five year old woman, surely she's grown up and able to do as she pleases? I mean what's her family going to do, ground her? The last time I lived with my parents was when I was eighteen, and even then the rules weren't that rigid, they respected that I was an adult and as long as I didn't do anything stupid or bring bad shit home, I could do what I wanted.

I start the engine and take the wheel, still annoyed that Ana feels so scared, especially of her family. They are supposed to be your safe haven. A cup of coffee is suddenly placed in front of me and an embarrassed looking Ana leans against the railing with a cup of tea.

"I'm sorry about this. I mean we sleep together then I scream at you to take me home. I guess this is an odd version of a hit and run" she laughs and I can't help but join in.

"You wound me Miss Steele! Did you just want me for my body then and now you not to escape?" I pout causing her to laugh more and she nearly chokes on her tea.

"Do you feel used?" She plays along.

"Of course" but then she looks a little sad, I guess she wasn't playing really.

"I'm sorry Christian. I hope you don't feel like that really. I mean I'm not leaving because of you, it's just...complicated" she looks down at her tea then away out at the view.

I take her by the chin, forcing her to look at me, "I was joking. You know better then to trust my comedic skills Ana. And if it's any help, I know this won't be our last encounter, hence its not really a hit and run" and I plant a chaste kiss and grab my coffee.

We eventually make it back to Ana's house, despite being four hours late. She's been biting her nails raw, I've been constantly removing her hands from her mouth.

I finally pull up to a stop.

"Ok this is going to sound cheesy as hell and you are not allowed to make fun of me later on...but..." And then Ana turns to me, her face full of too many emotions, "thank you. You have no idea how much I needed yesterday and what it really meant to me. And how truly grateful I am for having met you Christian Grey" and then she leans over in her seat and kisses me on the cheek and gets out of the car.

Before shutting the door she leans down again, "thanks for the ride" and she gives me a dazzling smile.

"Laters baby" and then she winks and closes the door. I watch as she walks up to the porch of her house, turning around and smiling before entering the house. I start the car, my stomach is in knots! Anastasia Steele, what are you doing to me?

 **Ok I couldn't resist the last bit. Sorry for any typos, I'll fix them asap, just life is crazy and I kind of wanted to get back to posting. It's kind of addictive lol**


	33. Chapter 33

**Ok so a lot of people are getting annoyed with Ana being a push over, buts it's easy to stand up to outsiders, but family is different! I put up with all sorts of crap from my family so I know how easy it is to just take it, but you do get to a point where you snap! So ok again I'll fix any typos but I wanted to post this**

 **Chapter 31 APOV**

Oh my god, I think I'm in so much trouble. And despite the fact that yeah my family is about to go thermonuclear on me, I am referencing to Christian and the fact that I am fallen hard and fast for him! It's funny, major milestones in my life seem to be overshadowed by my family. Like at my graduation, my sister announced she was pregnant and then stormed off cause the boys were being hyper. And now, I lose my virginity and instead of spending the morning after with messy just fucked hair and breakfast in bed, I am here walking into the hallway shitting bricks because my family are going to go batshit crazy!

I brace myself as I enter the kitchen but it's empty. That's weird. I go through the house waiting for the ambush, but it doesn't come. Ah crap this won't be good. So I decide to take a moment and text Kate.

 **Hey Kate, how's it going chick?**

Making myself a cup of tea I wait for a reply, I could really do with my friend.

 **Hey bitch, where have you been? I've got some major news! Fancy a coffee? I can pick you up!**

I bite my lip as I debate. It's such a tempting offer, I really need to talk to someone. But then I've already pissed off my family, do I want to add to that by going out with Kate? Then I feel annoyed! I just gave up my morning with Christian because I felt so guilty and that I upset my family...and as I've braced myself for the storm, they aren't here. Jesus Ana what's wrong with you? You're supposed to have control of your life, and you're letting it be dictated by everyone else! You should have stayed with Christian and texted mom and Izzy I'll see them later, and you should go out and have a girlie moment with your best friend about how to navigate a relationship.

 **Sounds like a great plan. I'll see you in a bit**

And then I drop the dreaded text you mom and Izzy.

 **Sorry my battery died. Had a great time with Kate and lost track of time. I'm so sorry. I'll see you all later. Love you all xx**

I lock my phone and go up stairs to feed my cats and change to meet Kate.

"So what's the big news?" I ask Kate when we are finally sat and I take a sip of my peach iced tea.

"Ana I am fucked! I mean totally, stick a fork in me I'm done, fucked!" Hmmm that doesn't help.

"Ok, you're going to need to specify there babe!" I ask

"Don't laugh! Ok? But I...oh my god...why is this so hard?" Kate doesn't stutter or stumble, oh god this is serious!

I start to lower my voice, "Ok don't freak...do we need to get a pregnancy test?"

"Oh fuck no! I'm not pregnant!" Kate yells! Well so much for not making a scene!

"Good so not pregnant...would it need to be treated with a cream?" Ah shit I don't want to have to go to the clinic with Kate again!

"What the fuck Ana?!" Then realising everyone is looking at us, she tones it down, "No I don't have an STI!"

Ah thank god! "Well then it can't be that bad then, unless you killed someone and yes I will help you dump the body!"

"Aww that's sweet" she starts to blush, wow what is up with her, "I think I'm in love"

Now it's my turn to nearly choke! Kate in love?! What? How? Why? Where? "Can you repeat that?"

"I'm in love" she can't even look at me! Holy crap, she's serious!

"Yeah, I know! Me in love! It's like the frigging twilight zone. But seriously Ana, I think I've fallen hard for him!"

"Does he have a name?"

"It's Elliot. Elliot Grey." Shit! What are the odds of that one?!

"Wow! Big bad Kavanagh goes weak at the knees for a Grey? Nice!" Not that I've met him, but if he's anything like his little brother then yeah Kate is a goner!

"Oh shut up Steele" she laughs throwing an ice cube at me, "you're one to talk! Don't you act all innocent! I happen to know you've been getting cosy with the younger Grey brother! So I firstly need to know about the adventures with Mr Grey!" Now sitting back and getting comfortable she continues, "last time I saw you, you were freaking out about him asking you out and me pimping that fabulous self of yours. Then I saw him at Elliot's parents and made his balls shrink in fear when I went crazy about the argument you both had at the coffee shop...sooooo. What happened next Steele?"

Shit! I take a sip and a deep breathe, and spill out the details.

"Steele you freaking tool! What were you thinking? Going out on your own! Seriously, I am two steps away from coming over there and beating you to death for putting yourself in that situation! But I love you and I kind of want you in my life, so I won't. But this means I'm gonna have to be extra nice to Christian now! Damn you Steele!" She's right! I was such a dick for doing that and for what I put Christian through! I really need to stop and think sometimes before I make moronic moves! I think then of my family, yeah they piss me off and smother me like crazy, but I need to be straight with them. When Christian asked if I was ashamed of him I could have smacked him, but I need to be honest with people, not lie and hide away.

"I know, believe me Kate, I will be paying for that mistake for the rest of my life. But I've cut Christian some slack and you're going to as well!" And then I feel myself blush because I did more then cut him some slack. And oh snap Kate can read me like a book. She cocks her head to the side and cocks her eyebrow questioning me.

"Oh shit Steele" and now she's beaming, ah crap, "have you slept with him?" I can't answer, I feel so silly and girly and chic flick, so I nod and she screams! "Oh my God, my baby is growing up! Shit how do you feel?"

I snort, "oh yes, now petals fall at my feet, birds chirp all day-"

"Come on, the sarcasm can wait. But seriously, woman to woman, did he hurt you? Are you both exclusive?" It's funny, we've established we like each other, now had sex, yet we haven't said the words boyfriend or girlfriend...I cringe, I sounds silly, isn't there a grown up version?

"No he didn't hurt me, he was the perfect gentleman. But honestly, we like each other, are attracted to each other, have slept with each other, but that talk of an actual relationship has not been had. What do I say, "yo you wonna be my boyfriend?""

"Well don't say it like that you ass! But yeah basically, you need to be a girl and ask the dreaded question that most guys fear...so where's this going?" She's right. Damn it, I need to actually make the move and ask the question!

I finally get home at around three and I can see Izzy's car is in the drive! Might as well get this over with. The boys are sitting nicely watching some cartoon, they run and hug me when they see me in the doorway. God I love these boys, despite the fact that they drive me insane! Mom and Izzy don't come out to greet me so I make my way to the kitchen, yup they are both sat and half acknowledge me.

"Hi" I try to break the tension. They both just grunt. Oh great.

"Did the boys have a good time at kickboxing?" I try again.

"Yeah it was fine" Izzy pushes the chain back a little too hard and goes and puts her mug in the sink a bit too hard. She then huffs in typical Izzy fashion, "I'm just gonna say this and then I'm gonna go...but how dare you Ana?!" I look at her in shock! "You take off, you don't call, you don't text, we've been going out of minds with worry! You said you'd help with the boys, you know today is a crazy day, and you didn't even have the decency to tell me you weren't coming?! We could have really done with your help today Ana, but instead you just go off doing what ever Ana does, not caring about anyone but yourself! So where were you?!"

"I-I went out-with-with Kate. I left you guys a note, and my phone died-" I hate the fact that I cower like a kid.

"Of course it did! Your phone died, typical excuse! So you couldn't find a pay phone and let us know? This is typical Ana so frigging ditsy and blonde -"

"Shut up!" I scream at her! I can't take this shit anymore, "I can't take your crap anymore Izzy!"

"Don't you shout at me-" she comes back looking totally pissed off

"Yet you have the right to shout at me and treat me like a kid-"

"Well if you didn't act like a kid and grew up then maybe I wouldn't have to yell at you-"

"You have no right to yell at me! You are my sister! My sister Izzy, that's it! You don't have the right to treat me like shit! I'm twenty five years old and what I do with my life is my business not yours!" Both my mom and Izzy look lost, they've never seen me freak out before. But fuck it, I'm tried of this and I need to take charge of my life. "I love you Izzy, I love you so much, but this is my only life and you dominate it! You chose to be a mom, you didn't ask permission! You made your choice and you have to live with it. But this is my life, mine! And if I want to sit around in my pyjamas and watch cartoons all day then I can! If I want to go out and drink all night and have fun then I can! And you can't come around and abuse me for my choices!" I take a breath, I didn't realise I was shaking like a leaf. I hate confrontation. "Now i am going upstairs to take a piss, a shower and whatever single carefree people decide to do" and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge I storm upstairs and flop on my bed!

Fuck me! I just stood up for myself! Maybe I am changing! I grab my phone and text Christian, maybe he's earned my trust for an actual text and not an email.

 **thanks for the fun times. Do I dare ask if you and I need to have a grownup discussion about...so where's this going lol**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey just need to say thanks for everyone who has given me such nice comments, it really means a lot. I was so nervous to write a fanfiction thinking I'd be a total failure, so thanks for the support.**

 **However, I just wanted to say something about two reviews.**

* * *

 **From: Guest**

 **:Ana is an English Major and Kate is a Journalist...so why do you have them talking like they are from the hood. You are making a mockery of well Educated women.**

* * *

 **Ok I didn't know the tone I used for Ana and Kate was like something, "from the hood". So that confused me. I just wanted to make them normal everyday people. And being best friends they are relaxed around each other and don't have to impress each other. Also I really don't understand how I'm making a mockery of well educated women. I have a degree in English literature and I'm sorry to say but that is how I talk with my friends, who also happen to be educated women! I also liked books such as _Generation X_ and _Fight Club_ more so then _Pride and Prejudice._**

* * *

 **From: Guest**

 **Ana is going upstairs to take a "p***" W**. Could you make Ana sound anymore gross? Guys speak like that to their mates!not ladies, they don't go and take a p***, they go to the toilet, to the ladies or they simply don't say what they are going to do, they just excuse themselves. Your a very uncouth person. Is that how you conduct yourself around people, so you thought you would have these characters talk like you.**

* * *

 **Ok that made me laugh, I don't think I have ever said, "excuse me while I use the water closet". What century are you in? Like women should be seen not heard! Like women have to be polite all the time? No thank you. Also that line about taking a piss and a shower, is an reference to one of my favourite films, _The Hunting Party_. And yes I speak like that around the people I like, I have that very close relationship with my family and friends, we piss, shit, fart, puke and burp around each other. And I think yes, being raised by a strong single mother made me much more masculine then it did feminine and for that I am proud! If my manner offends you then feel free to leave**

 **To everyone else, you are awesome :)**

 **Chapter 32 CPOV**

After I dropped Ana off I decide to finish up on some work, avoiding my new found resolution. I need to talk to my parents and I need to put a stop to Elena's sickening ways. She is notorious for starting her trainees off young, her newest meat Isaac had just turned eighteen when she got hold of him. I wasn't so lucky, and I wish I could go back and turn the sack of silicone into the police! But I didn't. I can't even press charges now, she will never pay for the pain she inflicted on me. But I owe it to the fucked up fifteen year old kid who she took advantage of, I need to find a way of exposing her, catching the bitch in the act. I could do with my fathers help, he will know what to do. While I drop my dad a text saying that I'll be by in an hour, I call in Taylor. I want her watched, I want to know where she's goes, what she does, everything. We needs to catch her red handed!

When I'm showered and getting ready to visit my parents I see I have a text. I open it to discover it's from Ana.

 **thanks for the fun times. Do I dare ask if you and I need to have a grownup discussion about...so where's this going lol**

Ah so now we've hit that cross roads. The question most guys freak out about when a girl asks. Me however, I'm looking forward to taking the next step. So what's the response Grey? I have an idea, it's cheesy as hell, but I get the feeling it will make Ana laugh. She's not one to be all serious and brooding, and though I have in the past, I like the idea of letting go and having fun with her. So I download what I need and send Ana the message. Then I lock my phone and put it in my jacket pocket and head downstairs.

My recent courage and anger to bringing Elena down has started to plummet the closer I get to my folks place. This is gonna break them. I rest my head on the steering wheel and take a deep breath. You did nothing wrong Grey, you were just a kid. What's wrong is that you still let her control your life. Get out of the car now or you never will.

I knock before opening my parents door. My dad comes out from his study, his sleeves rolled up, glasses on, looking worn out, I guess his latest case is giving him hell. But despite the tension at work he smiles, and claps me on the shoulder, our way of hugging. "I'm glad you're here son, I could use a beer and a break" and with that we walk towards to kitchen where I hear my mom laughing. But the happy moment is broken when I hear another high pitched cackle, oh fuck no! "How are you ladies doing?" My dad asks my mom and Elena turns to greet us.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

"We're fine darling" my mom answers getting up to give me a kiss on the cheek, I must be as white as a sheet. "I'm so glad you're here sweetheart! Elena was just telling me how the business is booming" I give a weak smile.

"Oh yes Grace it is! That son of yours whipped those accounts into shape" she smirks, giving me a wink! I think I'm gonna be sick! My mom laughs with her and I am having to hold myself back from throttling Elena! So I excuse myself and lock myself in the bathroom! I splash some water on my face to try and calm myself, it does nothing to help! Shit! Shit! Shit! What do I do now? I want to catch Elena and make her pay, and if I go out there guns blazing she could easily skip town! Get back out there Grey! As I open the door I stop in my tracks, IT is leaning against the wall opposite, obviously waiting to accost me.

"So Mr Grey how have you been?" she asks sweetly.

"Fine" now fuck off!

Now she pushes off the wall and comes closer, "You don't look fine Mr Grey, you look wound up, so tightly" if she touches me I might kill her, "And I have the perfect girl. Petite. Brunette. Green eyes. Very few hard limits and has the most talented mouth-"

Ugh she sickens me, and to think I once found her sexy, "I'm fine"

"You're obviously not Mr Grey. Has that mousey little bitch not put out yet?" She laughs. It's like the sound from a child's nightmare.

I now get right in her face, "You listen to me to useless sack of shit, you mention my girlfriend in that way again and I will fucking end you!"

Ha her plastic jaw hits the floor, "Girlfriend? Are you fucking kidding me? What has that stupid slut done to you? Turned you soft? Don't be a little bitch-"

"- I told you! Leave. Her. Out. Of. This! I mean it!" I grit my teeth.

Now it's two Doms facing off, "Don't you threaten me little boy. You end this now or I'll end it"

But then I hear my mom calling from down the hall, so I push past Elena and go to find my mom. I can't be here now, I need to go! But I can't, I just got here! So I stay away from the bitch and spend a few hours talking sport and business with my dad, but I need to talk to him, privately. So I ask if he's available for a meeting at GEH to discuss some stuff, and of course my loyal father, he agrees. Hopefully I've got some time to gather some Intel from Taylor and Welch which I can present to help make a case.

Finally I have escaped. As I get out of my car and I check my phone as I wait for the elevator. I've got two messages. The first is from Ana.

 **Hahaha that was amazing! Christian Grey I accept your offer :)**

I'm not a hearts and flowers kind of guy, and that always put me off relationships, because I had no idea how to be romantic and it's usually just a huge vulgar cliche. But with Ana it's not hearts and flowers, I know she'd probably hate grand romantic gestures, she's the simple sentimental type. So when she asked where 'this' was going I knew cheesy things like candle lit dinners and big poetic verses wouldn't impress her. So I had to think outside the box, how do I show her I'm serious about us without acting so serious and frightening her off? Then it hit me. I sent her a YouTube video of the Ramones song "I wanna be your boyfriend" I could imagine her waiting for some big response, instead she got that video. And I was right it did make her laugh.

 **Well I'm very glad to hear that you have accepted my offer. I told you I could be very persuasive ;)**

Yup I just sent a wink! I'll never be able to live that down. As I wait for Ana's response I open my second message. Bollacks, it's from Elena.

 **Don't test me Christian. I made you and I can break you**

Game on bitch!

 **I want to make Elena pay for what she did. In the original Elena is kind of let off with a slap on the wrist and that annoyed me! So ok, Christian didn't tell his parents yet, but I want the family to help take her down!**

 **Again thanks to all the lovely people!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 33 APOV**

I'm sat in my pyjamas watching _Child's Play 2,_ with a cup of tea while I send out CVs and job hunt. I'm being true to my word since I shouted at Izzy, if I want to sit around in my pyjamas then I bloody well can. She's kind of been giving me the silent treatment, but right now I don't care, I can't be a door mat forever. And besides, I've got more important things to think about, for the first time in twenty five years I am actually in a relationship. That sounds so weird, I am somebody's girlfriend! When I texted Christian asking about the next step with us, I imagined some response like "let's talk about this over dinner". Which ok would be sweet, but I hate all that mushy candle lit dinner, roses and chocolates stuff! So when Christian texted me back and sent me a YouTube video I was confused as hell. But when I clicked and heard the Ramones song, _I wanna be your boyfriend_ I started laughing uncontrollably! That had to be the best response ever! So unlike the big CEO and simply Christian, a side I am privileged to see. How could I refuse that?

But I'm bored now! Job hunting sucks! I've been doing it for years, with no luck. Or whatever luck I do get the job is usually horrible, and I either quit for my sanity or I get sacked for some crap reason, like I'm not a team player! And it's ok my mom trying to lift my spirits with, "you're too good for that job Ana, you have a degree" or "it's fate, the job probably sucked" but that doesn't help the fact that I want a job, I need a job! I think I've given up on the idea of a career, a job that pays would be amazing! And instead I'm going to focus on actually living life, and if that means I stock shelves for the rest of my life and actually have fun in between, then so be it. Putting down my laptop I pick up my phone and text Christian, I need a distraction.

 **What are you wearing?**

Since I've met Christian I have this crazy new found confidence! It's amazing what male attention does to you! Looking at the clock I can see it's way past lunch so he might be working, ha this might be interesting. My phone rings! Oh shit, I thought he'd text back.

"That depends. What would you do with the information if I told you?" He asks in a seductivly soft tone. Oh shit!

I roll over and squirm in embarrassment, you started this Ana, now you have to play the game.

"There are many things I could do Mr Grey, I have quite the imagination." I try so hard not to laugh, but I'm mortified.

He chuckles, "I don't doubt it, I've seen you in action. I'm sat here on a conference call, bored and I have just pressed the mute button! So Miss Steele, if I were to tell you I just unzipped my trousers. What would you say to that?"

Oh fuck me!

I take a deep breath, oh my god I can't believe I am about to do this! Bollacks! "Well, firstly I'd unbutton my shirt, slowly. Slipping it off my shoulders. Then, standing before you in nothing but my navy lace garter belt, stockings and heels I'd drop to my knees between your legs..."

"Go on..." He commands

I'm so glad he can't see me, my entire body is red. "Then, you'd be a very good boy and you'd lift that fine ass so I can remove those trousers. Now, very slowly I kiss my way up your inner thighs, getting closer, licking my way up towards my goal..."

His breathing has changed, "Fuck keep going..."

If I'm honest my breathing has changed as well, "Very gently I run my nail up your rock hard cock, then flick my tongue over the tip..."

Now he gasps, "Shit..."

"Now, starting at your balls I lick my way up and Mr Grey you taste mighty fine..." All those years of reading _Cosmopolitan_ have finally paid off.

I can hear Christian panting down the phone!

"But now I want you in my mouth, so very slowly I take you all the way. I can feel you at the back of my throat and I swallow..." My head has flopped back against the sofa, Christ I thought phone sex was overrated. I was wrong. "Now this is where you come in Mr Grey...are you still with me?"

"Yeah...yes I'm here...keep going"

"You wrap my hair around your hand and you start to fuck my mouth while I rub my clit..." And I can't help but let my hand slip into my pyjamas, and I'm surprised that I'm soaking. Who would have thought giving pleasure was a turn on?

"Jesus Ana!" His voice is strained, thank God he muted his business call, this would be awkward.

But now I'm moaning, oh fuck me, "Don't stop though, I take my other hand and massage your balls"

"Fuck Ana I'm close!"

"Not yet Mr Grey, I want us to cum together. I pinch my clit, fuck!" And I do, knowing it will push me over the edge.

"I'm gonna cum Ana! Fuck!" He begs

Now I smirk, "Your wish is my command, with a final swallow I bear me teeth"

I guess that did it, he yells out his release. I hope his office is soundproofed! I rub my clit furiously and scream out my release! Jesus that was amazing! Suddenly the house phone rings, shit! I scramble up in a panic, fuck it's important, no one ever rings the house phone.

"Christian I'm so sorry I've gotta go!" And I pick up the house phone.

"Hello?" Fuck I must sound so weird! Maybe I can just say I've been for a run!

"Hello, may I please speak to Anastasia Steele please?" Asks what I'm guessing is an older woman.

"This is Anastasia speaking, how can I help you?" Fuck I hope no one is hurt!

"My name is Sylvia Mason from the Mason bookstore down town. I am ringing in regards to the CV you sent us. I was wondering if you would be available for an interview tomorrow?" She asks

I pause. What the fuck? Is she serious? "Oh my God yes, of course I am available. Thank you! What time would you like to meet?"

"Is 1:30pm good for you?" She continues

"Yes that's perfect, thank you. Is there anything I would need to bring to the interview?" I practically scream at her! Oh my God!

She chuckles, oh good at least she has a sense of humour, "No just yourself will be fine. I shall see you tomorrow"

"Brilliant, I look forward to meeting you" I start bouncing!

And that's it! Holy mother fucking shit balls! I've got an interview! I'm suddenly on the sofa doing some Tom Cruise sofa jumping impersonation! Then I panic, shit I've applied for so many jobs, I can't even remember the hours or pay or anything. Shit! Oh fuck it, even if it's part time that's better then nothing! So I throw on some music and dance like crazy around my house!

Later I pass out on the floor! Holy shit, what a bloody day! I'll make it up to Christian for departing so quickly, but I'm so glad I did, because I might just have a great job opportunity.

When my mobile rings I automatically think it's Christian, so I answer giggling.

"Ana! Ana are you there?" It's my mom and she's crying!

I bolt right up! "Mom what's wrong?"

"Josh got pushed off the slide at the park by some fucking little shit and he's cut his head. Izzy is in pieces! I'm here with the boys and she's at the hospital-" I cut her off.

"- I'm on my way! I'll get a taxi to the hospital! I love you all" I hang up and run upstairs to get dressed, while ringing about booking a taxi.

Once I'm at the hospital I run through the doors and make my way to accident and emergency, and ask about Joshua Steele. He's been taken to the paediatrics department. I run in the direction they send me. I soon hear Josh crying, my heart nearly stops! I finally see him, he's cradled in Izzy's arms and she is sobbing. Their clothes are soaked in blood.

"Izzy, hey come here" I rush to their side and pull them into a hug, she cries harder.

"Ana what are you doing here? You didn't have to come" she looks so pathetic, so weak, it makes me cry.

"I'm always here! Remember that!" And then I turn to Josh who reaches for me, "hey baby! What happened?"

"Head" sniffle "boo boo" sniffle, so I pull him in closer and kiss his cheek. I take him over to the play area as we wait, Izzy sits down with us.

"I'm sorry" she whispers.

"For what?"

"I love you so much Ana, and I have a shit way of showing it, and I'm so sorry. I guess I got scared, you're my baby sister and...I just...I envy you so much. There's so much I want you to do before you get tied down, and at the same time I want to protect you. But you're a woman, and you deserve to have your life." And she gives me a weak smile and hands Josh a truck. We are still sat on the floor, so I put my arm around her shoulder and she rests her head on shoulder.

The doctor comes over to discuss Josh's injury, she wears a sympathetic smile, as she deals with Izzy who is still a mess. She handles Josh with such gentle care as I hold him on my lap.

"So who do we have hear?" The doctor leans down to Josh's eye level and smiles.

"Josh" he says timidly.

"Hi Josh, my name is Grace. I see you have a boo boo on your head. Can I have a look?" I like her already. He turns into me afraid. "It's ok, I won't hurt you. Mommy can stay"

"No, Auntie Ana." He says tugging on my shirt.

Now she looks at me and gives me a reassuring smile, "of course Auntie Ana can stay. Will you be a big brave boy and hold her hand?"

He smiles and nods. Oh fuck I hate this part.

Josh freaked out and luckily had laughing gas to calm him down for his seven stitches. I tell Izzy to speak to the doctor and I'll preoccupy Josh. So I have him on my lap and I tell him a story, which he chips in with ideas, it's a little thing we do together. But as the doctors want him to stay a little longer just in case of concussion, I go in search of a coffee machine. As I walk down the hall someone grabs my hand and pulls me into what I guess is a store room.

"What the fuck!" I yell, it's dark I can't make out who the hell this guy is!

But with the flick of a switch the dim light comes on and Christian is stood before me. I'm in shock! He's here! With me! In a store room! Looking yummy in a dark suit in this small space! I lunge at him. My hands are in his hair pulling him closer and devouring him. He doesn't seem surprised because he's just as bad, he has pushed me into the wall, his hands pinning my hips, his erection poking at my stomach!

I break away slightly, my mouth going to his ear and he attacks my neck, "I've gotta go"

"You've already left me hanging once today, don't tease me anymore" I've arched my back and he wraps his arms around my waist tight.

"I'm sorry about that, I'll make it up to you I promise!" Now I moaning and rubbing against him like a cat in heat! Fuck Ana you're at the hospital, control yourself!

Christian moves back to my lips and murmurs against them "I need you! When can I see you if not now?"

Shit, I need to get Josh home and I need to prepare for tomorrow. But if all goes well we can celebrate! "Tomorrow. I promise tomorrow, I'm all yours" and then giving him one last kiss I break away and leave before I do something really stupid, like fuck him in a store cupboard. Shit I need a coffee now!


	36. Chapter 36

**this kind of explains why Christian was at the hospital. Hope you like it, please excuse any typos. :)**

 **Chapter 34 CPOV**

I could have killed Ana for leaving me hanging like that! Who new my innocent girl could have such a dirty mouth? When I finally hang up my conference call I go about checking my emails, when I find one from Welch. So he has some information already? This is why I hire the best, they get the results I want and fast, I'm anxious about what he's found on that bitch.

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **From: Peter Welch**

 **Subject: update**

 **Mr Grey I was some new information in regards to Mrs Lincoln. Though her bank details show nothing too serious, I have tracked her phone records and found numerous calls to a Miss Elizabeth Morgan. There have been many deposits into Miss Morgan's bank account, those of which are from Mrs Lincoln. So I have run a background check on Miss Morgan which I have attached to the email. I will continue to dig and will await your instructions.**

 **Name: Elizabeth Joanne Morgan**

 **D.O.B: 19/5/1979**

 **Place of birth: Detroit, Michigan**

 **Mother: Melissa Louise Fraser**

 **Father: Steven Daniel Hyde**

 **Parents divorce: 23/4/1989**

 **Spouse: Lewis Morgan 07/12/2000 widowed 31/01/2003**

 **Siblings: Jack Stuart Hyde (DOB: 15/8/1981)**

 **Robert James Hyde (D.O.B 08/3/1987)**

 **Education: Bachelors Degree in Healthcare Administration**

 **Master of Healthcare Administration**

 **Employment: Head of Administration, Seattle Children's**

Small world then, she works in the same hospital as my mom. It wouldn't hurt to drop by and make an innocent visit would it?

I make my way to the reception, they know me well, and tell me that my mom is dealing with a child and that I could go wait in her office. As I make my to wait for my mom I walk past the waiting area and come across something unexpected. What the hell is she doing here? What has happened? The little boy has a bandage on his head, fuck what the hell happened? Ana is sat with the little boy, they are looking right at each other, in their own little bubble. She is comforting the little boy who has been crying, I wouldn't blame him with a head injury. She looks completely at ease with what I assume is her nephew, you'd almost think they were mother and child. Ana would make an incredible mother, she's got just that right mixture of strength and compassion, sensibility and silliness, it's hard to look away from them. But I'm not part of this scene, this is her moment. I couldn't be a fatherly figure to those boys. Or a father. What could I give a child besides misery? But that disappointment still doesn't stop the desire, that this is a scene I want in my future. Not the hospital visit of course, but the family. Ana suddenly gets up still holding the little boy who is snuggled into her neck and walks towards her sister I think and my mom! Shit, my mom is treating Ana's nephew!

I quickly got myself a coffee as Ana and her family disappeared into a room, but I keep my eyes open to catch a moment with her. And sure enough the waiting has paid off, she is walking towards to canteen, perfect. I know this hospital very well, and I follow closely until she just walks past a store room and I grab her hand and drag her inside. It's pitch black and all I can hear is Ana freaking out.

"What the fuck!" She yells unaware that's it me. So I reach for the light switch to help her out. But when she finally sees it's me her mouth hits the floor in surprise. So I smirk down at her, noticing that her breathing has changed and the small space just got a hell of a lot smaller. I catch her as she lunges for me, her hands tugging at my hair as I push her against the wall. All her teasing from this morning is fuelling my need and I suck on her neck when she breaks for air.

"I've gotta go" Ana moans, making no effort to leave.

"You've already left me hanging once today, don't tease me anymore" I pull her closer, I'm not letting her go.

"I'm sorry about that, I'll make it up to you I promise!" Oh believe me I've made a list of ways you can pay me back for this morning.

I move back to those lips and gently suck on her lip, "I need you! When can I see you if not now?" It better be soon, I'm ready and set to explode.

"Tomorrow. I promise tomorrow, I'm all yours" and she leaves after giving me one final long hard kiss. Damn it she is the most frustrating woman I've ever met! She's driving me crazy! And now for the second time today she's left, Christ when did the roles become reversed, I'm acting like the girl wanting more. I rest my head against the wall and laugh, she really is a challenge, and I've got some serious work to do to have my Miss Steele begging for mercy. Shit, that doesn't help the raging hard on I'm sporting! Fuck!

When I have myself under control I can finally go find my mom, Ana is nowhere in sight. I see my mom, she's writing out some paperwork at the nurses station with another woman, so I tap on the door.

"Christian? Oh my god honey, what are you doing here?" She's in such shock her glasses fall off. I walk over and kiss her cheek.

"I was in the neighbourhood and just wanted to drop by and say hi" I give her a warm smile, God Grey you are a shit son sometimes, you really need to make more of an effort.

"That's so sweet. Oh I'm so sorry Elizabeth" and she addresses a woman in a form fitting beige suit, her blonde hair pulled into a perfect bun, "this is my son Christian. Christian this is Elizabeth Morgan".

I extend my hand and give her my best smile and sure enough her breathing changes, "it's a pleasure to meet you" I say.

"Like wise Mr Grey, I've heard a lot about you" she purrs, I bet she has, "I'll leave you both to it. Grace I need you to sign some things at the end of the day" and she smiles and leaves.

First impressions are everything, and Miss Morgan was a bit too cocky. What has she got to do with Elena? Both are way too full of themselves. Both could easily be Dominants. But why would Elena give her money? What would Miss Morgan have that was worth Elena paying top dollar for? I email Welch, I need him to dig into Miss Morgan and find out what she's hiding. But then my phone buzzes, that was quick I laugh.

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **From: Peter Welch**

 **Subject: information**

 **Mr Grey,**

 **Mrs Lincoln's recent phone records show she has been in frequent contact with Miss Stevens.**

Megan Stevens? Ah shit, like I don't have enough from one psycho ex, another one has gotta get in on the action to!

 **APOV - the next day**

Holy shit I'm so nervous! Today is the day of my interview and I am shitting bricks! I want this so bad and I'm frightened that I'll screw it up being nervous, or over excited, or the horrible reality that I haven't been in work for a while. But it's ok, you're going to do fine Ana! I have a typical interview uniform, it's really conventional and black. So I raided the nearest goodwill store and came across a high waisted black A-line skirt, for $4 and a grey jumper for $3, that's amazing! So the bargain I made on the outfit I decided to treat myself to some very nice lingerie. Yes ok I feel very sexy and feminine in my high waisted purple garter belt with black stockings, with matching thong and bra, and that's great for confidence in regards to the interview. But I also can't wait to meet up with Christian later, so much so that I'm willing to put up with the agony that is the THONG! Christ, it's so uncomfortable, I make no sudden movements in case it slices me in half.

I stand outside the bookstore, please don't let me fall in these court shoes! I'm begging you Ana! Take a deep breath and walk through that door. So I do.

After tens minutes I already really like Sylvia Mason. She's a sarcastic older woman who has a wicked sense of humour, she's the kind of person I'd love to adopt as a grandma. The job is perfect, it's sixteen hours, so it's not too much at the moment, and there's a possibility of over time and extra shifts. We've chewed over the generic questions of "what makes you good for this job?", but now Sylvia sits back in her chair and narrows her eyes at me. Oh shit, what did I do now?

"So Ana...what's your favourite book?" She asks

"... _Generation X_ " I say honestly, it's a book that changed my life.

"Why?" She probes.

"Because...when I finished university, I was left with this great ambition that I should find the great job, move out, grow up. That was expected. That was normal. But it didn't happen for me, I didn't get the big job, which would lead to the great house, meeting the great guy and happily ever after. I was jobless, living with my mom, lost and broke and I fell into serious depression. But when I picked up that book, a book about some people who found happiness in quitting their great jobs and working odd jobs and living in the middle of nowhere, it was, without sounding like a cliche, it was my salvation. There need to be more books which show the real world, no matter how ugly and unfair it is, because that way, we don't feel so alone" I shrug, cheesy response I know, but it's true.

Sylvia purses her lips and looks out the window, there's silence. Oh great I guess I just flumped that up.

"If you're interested, which I guess you are having practically screamed in excitement down the phone, you can start next Monday" she gives a smile, is she joking? Please don't let this be a cruel joke!

"Really?" My voice is so small right now.

"If you can have that kind of attitude towards books when you're working in my shop, then yes the job is yours. I expect you here bright and early at 9:00am Monday, and we will start your training" she stands and shakes my hand, I don't think I've recovered.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" I'm on the verge of tears now.

"Don't cry Miss Steele, I'm not that bad" she mocks me, and walks me out.

Did that just happen? Again I feel like someone is going to jump out and go "haha you've been punked!" I wait for the ambush but it doesn't come. I just got a job! For the first time in like a year, I've got a job! No frigging way! I feel like falling to the ground and screaming a huge thank you to the universe, but then that would be weird. But it doesn't stop me from doing a jiggly victory dance causing a few odd looks, but who cares? I got the job! I'm in such s good mood that I decide to walk to Christian's apartment to surprise him. I told him I'd swing by later this evening, but screw it, I'm gonna go celebrate now!

I'm so happy right now! Finally things are looking up for the first time, thank you whoever for cutting me some slack, I didn't think I could take much more crap. I don't think I'm far now, maybe another ten minutes.

"Who the fuck are you?" I hear the words but don't see the object that smacks me in the temple and sends me flying into a wall. My head hits the brick with a sickening smack and I fall to the floor! What the fuck was that? My vision is fuzzy and there is a ringing in my ear! It's darker where I am, so I'm guessing it's a side alley or something, away from any help. "You're nothing special" my attacker says, it's a woman, and she then sits down on me. Bitch is heavy, but that doesn't matter. In my fuzzy state I raise my hips like I was shown in my Krav Maga class and she flies off me and I throw my elbow into her face causing her cry out. I try to get up, my head is bleeding and it's now getting in my eyes and it stings and I stumble back to the floor. Now the bitch goes apeshit and grabs me by the hair and smacks my head into the floor, I slip in and out into darkness. The last thing I remember are lips by my ear, "He's mine bitch" and then everything goes black.


	37. Chapter 37

**Hey ho guys, here's my next chapter. I've decided I'm going to end this story soon and start maybe a part 2. And I promise in the next part to make much longer chapters, and learn from any mistakes I've made lol please excuse any typos**

 **Chapter 35 CPOV**

"Mr Grey your packages have arrived" Taylor buzzes in on the intercom to my home office.

"Brilliant. Can you have them sent up please" I ask as I finish up with this spreadsheet and close down my computer. Work can wait for a minute, I've got something more important to look at. Soon there is a knock at my door and Taylor enters with the packages and places them on the coffee table. Once he leaves I take my envelope knife and slice open the seals. As I start unwrapping the packaging I feel giddy like a kid at Christmas. Unlocking the first box I take out the string of pearls, it goes on and on, it's beautiful. I test it around my wrist, it's not too harsh, but would leave lovely indents in the skin. Next I drag the dark red silk ribbon through my fingers, imagining it running against Ana's naked flesh. I decided to order a few extra additions to my playroom, some less threatening, something Ana might like. She did after all accept my lifestyle, just not the severity of it. I have thrown out all my ball gags and canes, anything that could cause any real damage, I only want this to be about pleasure for the both of us. And I can't wait to introduce Ana to my world. I take out my phone and text her, maybe she can come by earlier, I am desperate to see her.

 **I don't think I can wait until this evening, I suggest you stop what you are doing and come over and play with me ;)**

Putting my phone away I take my goodies upstairs and unlock the playroom door. Hello old friend, I smile and walk into the comforting red cocoon. After I met Ana and my last scene with Megan I couldn't come in here, it felt so wrong. It disgusted me, I couldn't have Ana in that category, but it was always going to be hard to let go of, the lifestyle would always be a part of me. But when I came clean and Ana was ok with it, well kind of, I decided I needed to restock and remove anything my previous subs had touched. I also made sure there was no leather or suede, what with Ana being a vegetarian, and all the cuffs were taken out, hence the more softer restraints. I know she's frightened of being restrained, and I wouldn't push her, but I thought we could work up to it once I have her trust. After I've restocked my toys I sit back on my new faux leather Chesterfield and marvel in a job well done. But when I take out my phone I frown, Ana hasn't answered. I was sure she'd come back with something, I just ordered her to come over here. It's been like forty five minutes, so I try again.

 **If this is you playing hard to get with the silent treatment then I will personally come and drag you here**

I close and lock the playroom door and make my way downstairs to grab a bottle of water as I pace. There's still no response. Ok, calm down Grey, don't jump the gun, she might just be busy. I look at the clock and watch five minutes go by. Ok fuck the waiting, I ring her phone. It goes straight to voice mail. I hang up before the beep and start tapping the surfaces, fuck where is she? So I try again, and it goes straight to voice mail. Damn something must be wrong. I try a further fourteen times, yeah I know crazy, but I don't care. So this time I leave a message.

"Ana I'm trying not to freak the fuck out" I pinch the bridge of my nose, "but I've texted you, now rang you and you're not answering. Where the hell are you?"

I really could hit something right now, but I need to stay calm. My phone suddenly rings and my heart stops, I answer without looking at the screen.

"Ana you better have a bloody good ex-" I yell down the phone.

"Christian! Christian it's Kate!" Kate screams back. I think I'm going to puke, why is Kate calling, fuck something bad must have happened!

"Kate? What? Why are you-" bloody woman won't let me finish.

"Christian Ana's in the hospital" my world stops. It sounds likes Kate's driving. "Christian, me and Ana's mom got a call from the hospital saying Ana was found unconscious, I'm on my way to pick up her mom, but I need you to go over-"

"Which hospital?" As soon as she tells me I hang up and I'm out the door!

 **APOV**

"Can you feel that Miss Steele?" The doctor asks as he begins stitching the cut at my temple! Fuck what did that bitch hit me with, a fucking brick? Well that's going to leave a hefty scar, I jut out my lip, and my day was going so well. Apart from the gash in the side of my head, everywhere else are just cuts and bruises, but my head is pounding. Why the hell would someone want to attack me? I've got no money, my outfit was from the goodwill and besides whoever it was didn't steal my phone. I reach over, trying not to move and grab my bag, no all my valuables are here, so why me? That bitch said, "he's mine". Who? I don't know anyone worthy enough to be beaten up for...oh shit, I do. I have six text messages, two voicemails and twenty missed calls, most of which are from Christian. Ah crap, please tell me I'm not dating a guy whose already taken? No, Christian wouldn't do that...would he? The doctor cuts the thread, shit that last one stung! No Ana stop, she was probably an ex. Yeah that's probably it, I'd be upset if I lost him. As I think of Christian I look down at my legs. Bitch! She made me rip my stockings! Oh, it's on now!

There's some commotion coming from the reception and I hear my name being called and suddenly Christian storms into my cubical and wraps his arms around me, being careful with my new injuries. "Who the fuck did this" he's seething. The doctor makes a quick escape.

"I don't know. Some bitch with a brick in her Prada bag" I try to break the tension and calm Christian down, I've seen that dark side already, "it looks worse then it is I promise, I guess I would expect one of your exes to be pissed at me"

"What?" His jaw in tense.

"Well she told me "he's mine", so I assume, since I don't know any other guys, that she might be talking about you" I shrug

"Did you get a good look at her?" He questions

"No. Do you think I would have let her do this if I had seen her? I did however elbow her in the face" I puff out proudly. Then I frown seeing Christian typing furiously on his phone, what's he doing? "If you're texting her, tell her I'm ready for a rematch" I chuckle.

"Ana this isn't funny" Christian says sternly, I think I'm aware of how fucking serious this is pal, but I need his comforting side not his aggressive one!

"I'm aware of that dad! I think the throbbing headache is enough of a reminder, but if I don't laugh then I'll cry. Which would you prefer?" Have that bitch.

Then his expression softens and the mask falls exposing the vulnerable, frightened Christian Grey. He takes my face so gently between his large hands and looks me in the eyes, "you mean everything to me...do you know that?" I just look up in shock, "it would break me if anything happened to you" I place my hands over his and a tear falls down my cheek. No one has ever made me feel so cherished, so precious, so...loved?

The moment is broken when Kate comes barreling in with my mom, Christian and I spring apart just a little too late. Oh fuck this is not how I imagined my mom meeting Christian, and I was hoping for some more time.

"Mom, hey! Um this is, uh my friend Christian. He's gay and we go shopping and...stuff" good one Ana! As my mom comes over and hugs me Christian mouths silently, "what the fuck?"

When Kate reaches over and hugs me Christian clears his throat, "would you ladies like a coffee?"

"That would be lovely, thank you Christian, I have some change in-" this is where I get my issues from, my mom is just as independent and stubborn as me, if not more.

"There's no need, I've got this." And he turns and leaves, pulling the curtain across.

My mom is sat on the bed stroking my hair, Kate in the chair opposite. After a minute she turns to me with a frown, "Ana that man is anything but gay, and he is clearly infatuated with you" Kate sniggers in the chair, I'll kill her later, "so the question is, why am I just finding out about this special guy in your life?" Now she looks a little hurt, ah shit that was never my intention.

"Because..." I look down at my lap, "I wanted to be a bit selfish with him. I wanted it to be about me and him for a while. And I wanted to know how _I_ felt before I introduced him"

But when I look up she gives me a lopsided smile, "I understand that honey. I'm glad you've found someone for you, I never wanted you to be like me, avoiding relationships. I'm sorry, I guess I wasn't such a great example to you"

"No mom, you're my inspiration, I love how strong you are. Maybe it's time we both get over these trust issues and move forward?" I nudge her with my shoulder, "there's still time mom", and we rest our foreheads together.

"Well guess I shouldn't be encouraging you to live your life, not after you end up in the hospital. Is it too late to ground you?" I smirk, she would of she could. "Now, tell me what happened" so I briefly explain how I was mugged, leaving out the part about it being Christian's ex, and make a joke saying how once they got hold of my bag they realised they made a mistake mugging someone who was broke.

Christian soon comes back with the coffee and a pocket full of mini milk cartons and sugar, and hands my mom her coffee. Kate left a minute ago to call Elliot. Giving me a kiss on the head she gets up to leave, "I'm just going to call Izzy and tell you are ok" and then she turns to Christian, "me and you are going to have a little chat soon my lad" then winking at me she leaves. Christian looks frightened, so I burst out laughing, shit my head is killing me.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 36 APOV**

I can't sleep. Christian is wrapped around me tightly snoring gently, it makes me chuckle. When I was a kid and I would run and sleep in my mom's bed, if I had a nightmare, I used to pinch her nose to stop her from snoring. So I can't help myself, I lean down and pinch his nostrils together, it works, he swallows and hits my hand away before rolling over. I bite down hard on my lip to stop from laughing and pad to the bedroom door and slide through the crack, leaving Christian to sleep.

After I was given the all clear from the hospital Christian sneakily texted me asking for me to come home with him. I gave him a sneaky nod in return, but it felt really weird telling my mom I wanted to go and spend the night with my boyfriend. I didn't really break my mom in slowly either with the whole dating thing. But instead she could read my mind and said she'd see me tomorrow, but she couldn't leave without bearing those momma bear claws. She had turned to Christian giving him a total Robert De Niro look, "I still want that talk young man. But I'll tell you this, you hurt my baby girl and I swear I will skiiiin you".

So now I look down at the streets of Seattle from Christian's castle in the sky. I place one hand on the window while wrapping my other arm protectively around my waist. Christian borrowed me a t-shirt to wear, but I still have on my underwear, even the ripped stockings. I sigh, whenever I try to be sexy it always goes wrong, my big celebration went tits up. Christian hasn't touched me, even though we are alone. Ok we've kissed, but that's it, I'm hoping it's just his way of respecting me with all that's happened. But still, now I pout. Good one Ana, just add a foot stomp to that and you'll be having a full blown toddler tantrum.

I feel him before I see him, his arms snake around my waist pulling me closer, his nose in my hair, "I thought it was just me who had issues with sleeping" then he begins to kiss behind my ear. "You ok?"

Then I turn my head to meet him, "yeah, I think so" and then I take hold of his chin and kiss him sweetly. But it doesn't end that way, his hands have tightened around me and he deepens the kiss.

"Dance with me" Christian murmurs against my lips.

I break away slightly and frown, "what?"

"I said, dance with me" there is a sliver of authority under that soft voice.

"I can't dance for shit" oh god I'll probably fall and we will be back down the hospital and I don't think I can afford that.

But that doesn't stop him as he takes my hand and drags me towards a remote which he picks up, "well there's no one here to see how shit your dance moves are but me, and I promise I won't laugh" he turns on the stereo and Aretha Franklin comes on. I love this song, it's that _You Send Me_ song, I didn't think guys listened to this. I laugh as he gently twirls me and then pulls me in as the song kicks in. And then we gently sway, I'm cool letting him lead, it takes the pressure off me. I can't stop smiling as we spin around the room, and Christian joins in and then he suddenly dips me causing me to yelp.

"Oh my god, I wasn't ready for that" I laugh into his shoulder when I'm up. Christian chuckles at my freak out, resting his face again the good side of mine, I can feel his stubble scratch my face. And then he gets cocky, the swaying speeds up, "whatever you're doing don't, I'll fall"

"You won't" and he spins me out and pulls me back in. And again and I feel so happy right now. Despite all that has happened, I am safe here in Christian's arms.

When the song comes to an end Christian takes me by surprise by sweeping me off my feet and carrying me back to bed, I can't help but giggle! Kicking the door shut he places me gently on the bed and climbs on top of me kissing me passionately. I turn my head away and put my hands over my face, "how can you want me right now? I look hideous!" Poor guy!

But kissing my nose he smirks, "quite easily" and he continues to do so. Now his hands move down my body and grab the hem of my t-shirt, I lean up slightly allowing him to take it off, and Christian gasps at what he finds underneath.

"Damn woman, why am I just seeing this now?" he looks me up and down checking out my very sexy underwear, despite the ripped stockings. I bite my lip and blush from head to toe. "I'm going to enjoy this and take my time" and then he crawls down between my legs. Fuck! I arch my back in anticipation, Christ he hasn't even touched me. But when he does I jump in surprise, he gently sucks on the inside of my thigh! Then moves to the other, his stubble is scratching my sensitive skin. Jesus I've been so desperate for him since yesterday's encounter in the store room, and as much as I'm loving the feeling of him teasing me, I need him to speed this up before I explode!

"Christian," he licks along the seam of my thong "I appreciate you taking the time to admire my underwear," then slips his finger into my thong causing me to jump, "but right now baby I need you" and he begins to rub me. FUCK! But my plea does nothing, apart from making him chuckle and he slowly removes my thong leaving on my stockings and garter belt. It's ok Ana, the panties are off, he's gonna give you what you need. Instead his hands move to my ass and he pulls me to the edge of the bed and goes down on me.

Ok! It's official! Christian Grey has ruined me! None of my toys are ever going to be able to compete with that tongue, and oh fuck he starts sucking on my clit and I'm going to die! And I'm happy to, as my intense orgasm starts to bubble! My hands move to his hair and tug furiously, pushing him further into me, right now I don't care if he can breath, he just isn't allowed to stop! And then the brilliant bastard slips his finger into my slick core and I start to moan as he starts to pump. I am so close I sweating like a pig, but then the bastard stops.

"What the hell?" I could cry right now.

But he just looks down at me, as he removes his pj bottoms, with a mischievous look in his eyes. I watch that sexy toned ass walk over to the nightstand and he takes out a condom. Then he leans right over me, "tit for tat Miss Steele" I frown, shit he's reminding that he hasn't forgot how I've left him hanging...twice. Propped up on my elbows he reaches behind and unclasps my bra and pushes me down throwing it across the room and biting the swell of my breast! Oh you bastard Grey! My previous orgasm which plummeted is now back with a vengeance. He doesn't let up, taking my nipple and sucking hard while squeezing the other and then he again pulls away! If I didn't want him so bad I'd kick him in the balls for doing that!

"Now it's my turn" and standing up between my legs at the end of the bed and he rolls on the condom. Grabbing my hips and lifting my ass he slams into me. I scream as he hits me just where I need it. And he doesn't slow down, he pulls out and slams back in and continues fucking me senseless. I hook my legs around his waist, wanting him to thrust harder and he doesn't deny me. Christian takes away all the hurt and pain from today.

As I claw at the sheets I am finally given the most intense orgasm I've ever had and my entire body shoots off the bed. Christian thrusts three more times before finding his own release and collapsing on me.

Being careful not to touch his back I stroke his hair as we try to get our breathing under control. "I didn't think you were the controlling type Mr Grey" I try to remain serious.

"Oh baby, you have no idea" and he kisses my nose before lifting me up and moving us further up the bed.

"Can I ask you something?" I say once we are led on our sides facing each other.

"Sure" he gives me an adorable smile. I have no idea how he's going to react to this, but I'm curious. "Ok you really need to tell me when you are blushing like that" ah shit was I that obvious.

"Ok" I bite my lip, "I am curious..."

"What about" he asks

"Ok, this isn't a, "yes I want this" so don't go all crazy thinking I've agreed. But I've always been curious...would you show me a little BDSM?" Oh shit, I can't tell if he's pissed or happy that I just asked that!

"What do you mean?" Oh god you bastard, he's making me spell it out

"There are plenty of things I am unwilling to try Grey, but I'm a firm believer in trying something once at least. That way if I don't like it, I have the experience, I never have to do it again" and this is something that has always had me intrigued, "so I was wondering if you'd be willing to show me..."

Christian purses his lips, contemplating what I've just asked, then he props himself up on his elbow looking down at me, "you're serious?"

"Yes" and I gulp, "but please don't ever hurt me" and then he leans down and intertwines his fingers with mine.

"I'd never hurt you Ana" and he kisses my hand, "I'll tell you what, if you still want this, then tomorrow I will show you what I can really do" and then he kisses me and tugs on my bottom lip. "But right now Miss Steele I haven't had my fill of you" and he rolls pulling me on top of him.

 **Ooooo so...we get to see some play time haha excuse any typos :)**


	39. Chapter 39

**Ooo a long chapter lol hope you like! Sorry about typos lol :)**

 **Chapter 37 CPOV**

Something is tickling my nose. What is that? I shake my head but it's still there. When I force my eyes open I see a mass of brown hair, Ana is led on her stomach facing away from me, my head buried in her hair. I kiss the top of her head, she smells so good, I run my finger down the line of her spine watching her shiver. Rolling out of bed I grab my pyjama bottoms and go take a leak before hunting for some coffee. As soon as I've got my fuel and my glasses I grab my phone and text Taylor, I want security assigned to Ana, I want Sawyer full time. I don't care if he parks outside her house all night, he has to watch her 24/7, I will not have some psycho ex of mine going all bunny boiler on Ana again. Now is the question of who did this to Ana? She said this bitch said "he's mine", so firstly I think Elena, then there are previous subs, and then it could be one of the many tramps who throw themselves at me. But firstly I want to know where Elena and my ex-subs were last night, then we'll go from there. Then there's Elena, I am no closer to finding the connection between Elena and Elizabeth Morgan. I run my hands through my hair, fuck, what's the connection? What would Elena need from a hospital administrator?

"Did I fail to mention I have a weakness for guys in glasses" I hear Ana coming towards the kitchen, looking stunning in my t-shirt. Her hair sporting the evidence of our many rounds in the sack.

I grab her hips and pull her between my legs and give her a loud wet kiss. "I'll do well to remember that Miss Steele. Did you sleep well?"

"I did, when you eventually let me sleep" she smirks as she plays with my hair, scratching her nails along my scalp.

I can't help but puff out my chest at that, it wasn't until the early hours of the morning that she finally called a time out and passed out. A job well done for me. "Please, I didn't hear you complaining"

"Oh I wouldn't dare complain. In fact, the only thing I'd ever complain about is you not doing those naughty things to me on a regular basis" damn I've created a monster worthy of me, and I pull her in closer. "Now, is it possible I could make a cup of tea Mr Grey? That way I can wash away my morning breath before you pass out"

"Of course madam, take a seat" and I go boil the kettle. She looks at me in surprise that I get up to make a pot of tea. Thank god I'm able to master simple things like tea and coffee because I'd look like a right dick now if I asked for assistance. I place the mug, milk, sugar and the tea pot before her and join Ana, this feels oddly domestic, it's strange.

"Wow, the great Christian Grey just made me tea, I'm honoured" she mocks as she puts the bag in the pot, but then leans over and kisses my cheek, "thank you"

After some general small talk Ana suddenly looks anxious, "what's wrong?"

"It's tomorrow...and I still feel the same. Are you still willing to show me some things?" She's looking down at her mug, like she can't bring herself to look at me. I'm desperate to show her my playroom, despite her reservations, I'd like to show her. But then, I'm nervous that she'll take one look at my playroom and freak out and leave. I know she said she's curious, but I couldn't handle it if I showed her and she left frightened.

"I did say I'd show you if you still wanted to know..." and then I pinch the bridge of my nose, "look Ana, I'm nervous to show you, because I don't want to frighten you off. If you're doing this for me then don't" I don't need it as much as I need you.

"Christian, I told you I didn't want you to change, I'd never want you to give something up for me...well I would if it hurt you" and she smiles trying to make me laugh, she has that effect on me, "and I'm not doing it for you, believe me I wouldn't be here if that were the case. I promise you won't frighten me away"

She looks genuine, how can I deny her, Christ I am so pussy whipped, "ok" and I sip my coffee, "after you've eaten I will take you to see my playroom...and if you still want to, we can play. Deal?" And I hold out my hand.

She looks down at my hand and smirks, then places her hand in mine, "deal".

After breakfast, which Ana aided me in cooking, because after burning the first batch of toast she thought she'd step in, she looks at me expectantly. Well, here goes nothing. I go get the playroom key from my office and take Ana's hand and we begin the walk upstairs. We are both quiet, but Ana squeezes my hand reassuringly. It's funny that I need the reassurance here, especially when it's this innocent woman who I'm taking down this dark path.

"You sure about this?" I ask, one last time. Praying she won't want to go in, or if she does that she won't freak out.

"I'm sure" she says confidently.

So I take out the key and unlock the door, stepping in first to adjust the lights. Ana has her arms wrapped protectively around her, with a astonished look on her face. Fuck is that good or bad? She walks further into my playroom taking in everything.

I need her to speak now though, "Please say something" anything.

"This is...something else" she breathes out.

"You don't seem ready to run for the hills" I'm baffled.

"I told you I wouldn't. This" and she gestures to everything around her "doesn't freak me out, I used to sell most of this stuff"

Now I laugh in disbelief, I remember her mentioning that, "Ah, the infamous sex shop, do tell Miss Steele" and I perch myself on a set of drawers and fold my arms.

She smiles and continues walking around, stroking and touching everything, "It was my favourite job, but it had crap hours so I couldn't stay. The shop had three parts, lingerie, sex toys and BDSM. I used to love people watching there. There'd be the really shy women, who would come to the check out with loads underwear and underneath they would try hide a 12 inch dildo. My favourite customers though were an elderly gay couple who came in once, they were so adorable, they were shopping for their anniversary. They got the metal range of butt plugs and anal beads which they wanted engraved. It was amazing." She bites her lip laughing at the memory. "Sex isn't something to be ashamed of, and if this is what gives you pleasure, then who am I to judge? That's like judging a sexual preference, and I have no right, so why judge BDSM? I mean ok you have a room, but I'm not embarrassed of my treasure chest." Oh fuck I have to see that one day, "What I need to know, is that all this isn't some sneaky way of just beating the crap out of me, because if it is I'm gone...after I kick your ass"

In the past yes, I liked to inflict pain on women who wanted it just as bad, but now it's nothing, "You've been hurt too much, I just want to give you pleasure" and that will give me immense pleasure!

"I can work with that, and some of this, it's always fascinated me" well that gives me an idea.

"I'll tell you what." I get up and walk towards her, standing so close but not touching, "I want you to strip. And I want you to go and pick out some toys you like"

She looks up at me shocked, "But...your the Dom, why would you let me choose?"

I cock my head to the side and lean down, whispering in her ear, still not touching her, "Because this is about trust and I want you comfortable. And besides, once I've got your trust, I get to have fun teaching you and pushing your limits"

 **APOV**

Fuck, how it is even sexier to not be touched? Damn Grey you're good. He's now sat down on his leather looking couch, stretching his arms along the back. Shit he means strip now, I gulp and feel nervous. Yes this guy has seen me naked and I quite like my body, but I feel so vulnerable. Now I begin to understand the need for trust, I need to trust that he's not going to take one look at me and laugh, trust that he's going to respect my vulnerability and not abuse it. So I turn away from Christian and lift the hem of my t-shirt and my ass now feels cold, shit don't stop Ana. I finally lift it over my head and shake my hair and take a deep breath. Now I turn and face Christian, butt naked, and I don't cover myself with my hands. This is me, and this is him, both exposed.

"Beautiful" he whispers giving me a reassuring smile.

So now I turn to the first drawer, I run my fingers over the smooth mahogany and open the drawer. My eyebrows shoot off my head. So firstly we have a selection of vibrators, my heart starts to race in excitement. I have a few of these, but I know my favourite, I find he has supplied me with a silver bullet. Taking it out I place it on top of the drawers, ok let's chose one from each drawer Ana don't get carried away on the vibrators. So I close the draw.

I am anxious for the second drawer now, and when I open it it doesn't disappoint. Genital clamps, I bite my lip to suppress a moan. Some of these look intense, but I notice one I like, it looks similar to the one I have. It makes me hyper sensitive and the little weight rubs me in just the right way if I wear it under my clothes. The third drawer proves this must be the vagina section, Christian has a set of Ben Wa balls. Mine are basic, but these ones looks amazing! Some are more heavy, there's some with vibration remotes, egg vibrators, egg vibrators with a spiky textured sleeve, oh my god there's too much choice. I make a mental note to buy some of these, and test the weight of the Ben Wa balls, I've heard they feel amazing when being spanked.

There is a selection of oils and lubes, I smirk, no need for any of those now and I press on. The nipple clamps look intimidating, some look painful, others have weights. Why would I want my nipples to stretch to the floor? I've never tried nipple clamps so I find some small hoops with a tiny charm on the end, they look sweet. I then find what must be the ass selection and I feel my butt cheeks clench in fear. Ok I don't think I'm ready for that, but I find the smallest butt plug there and leave it on the side, a gesture that I'm willing to try one day. But now the toys start getting heavy, I come into contact with restraints and riding crops and paddles. Fuck! But that doesn't stop me from running my hands over the toys on the racks, oh my god he's got a bull whip! Really? I don't see that one being used Grey. But I do see a flogger which fascinates me, I see its fronds are cotton, if he's willing to go slow, then I'm game. I place the flogger aside. I decide against a paddle, I want his hands on me instead, but I pick out a riding crop and a peacock feather tickler. I think I'm done, but then I spy something that catches me off guard, I run my hand along the line of pearls hanging from a hook. I said no to being restrained, but there is something so beautiful about these. So I take them with me.

Since I've been shopping I've not looked at Christian once, but now I turn back and the look on his face is enough to make me combust. "That's quite a selection Miss Steele"

"Well, you are very well stocked Mr Grey" My heart is in my throat.

"I think I can do something with a few of these" he licks his lips and he dips slightly and grabs my ass and lifts me, I hold on around his neck. He places me on a large bed, "I'll be right back" and he leaves, giving me a look at that stunning toned back. For gods sake Ana calm down, he hasn't even touched you and your panting!

But when he returns I nearly pass out, he's now sporting a pair of ripped faded jeans, oh shit I think I've just cum! No one should look like that in just a pair of jeans! "So...are you ready to play?" I can't speak, I can only nod. "You've picked out some restraints, are you sure about those?"

"I think so...I'm willing to put in a little faith" I smile, "but that butt plug, ain't going anywhere near me right now, but I'm willing to try another time"

"I agree, that's not something you should rush" he holds out his hand for me to stand and he takes hold of the pearls, "I'm going to tie you up with these and you're going to look beautiful, but firstly let's put this hair up shall we?" And then Christian gently pulls my hair into a braid before kissing my shoulder. Taking me over to a grid looking thing on the ceiling he lowers it down, "these restraints won't hold you're body weight, but they will keep you in place. If it gets to much and you want me to stop immediately say RED, if you want me to slow down because it's getting too much then say YELLOW. Do you understand?"

"I understand" I whisper, but then he narrows his eyes.

"In here Miss Steele, you will address me as sir" Ok I'll play.

"I understand...sir" I cock my eyebrow, challenging him.

"Give me your hands" and I do, and he begins to wrap the delicate pearls around my wrists, not too tightly. And then he lifts my hands above my head, pushing my breasts up and he hooks the pearls through the grid and the loops drape down my back. "Now can I add one thing to this?" He asks. So I nod. And he walks to a chest and bring out something lacey and black. "Im going to blindfold you, but before you get distressed, the cuts in the lace allow you partly see. But this will heighten your senses". I nod and agree and he ties the black lace around my head filtering my vision. He's right my other sense come alive, I can hear him padding around me, gently running his fingers across my sensitive skin. Suddenly he tugs my braid pushing my head backwards exposing my neck, which he begins to kiss, I lean my head against him. Then his hands come from behind and he begins to tease my nipples, I strain to swallow my moan. Fuck! But I can't deny the gasp when I feel the tight pinch of the clamp and the tiny weight I hear ting.

"Oh my god" I sigh when his hands skim down my body, I have no idea what he's planning next, but he has moved from behind me. Christian takes me surprise and hitches my leg over his shoulder and grabs my ass to support me and he runs his nose across my pubic bone! Thank fuck I wax! Sucking along my folds he finally latches on and attacks my clit! Oh shit! My toes begin to curl so painfully. But when I'm nice and ripe he clamps me causing me jump. Tugging gently on the clamp I see Christian before me through the filter of the lace.

"You look so beautiful right now" he purrs. Then he turns and I hear him picking up his next tool. I gulp, fuck now I'm a bit scared. Please don't hurt me I silently beg. But then I feel something soft, silk like slivering up my skin, I think it's the peacock tickler. It feels incredible, running along my collarbone and then the valley between my breasts and swirling around my belly button. I am so desperate for him to hit my sweet spot but he doesn't, he swirls around the outside and lightly runs the feather over my clit. I lick my lips at the amazing feeling. "Does that feel good baby?"

"Yes sir" I sigh out in contentment.

"Good girl" and then I hear him pick up something else. I'm so turned on that the fear is fuelling my desire instead of making me want to run. The cool feel of the riding crop runs up and down the inside of my thigh and skims the lip of my ass cheeks. And then he strikes me hard. Damn that felt incredible. "Hold on baby, I'm going to go again" and he moves to the side of my breast, moving closer to my swollen nipple. When he finally strikes my nipple I nearly fall to the floor, but I have to remember to stay stood, and then he hits the other nipple! Fuck, hold on Ana. Then he increases the clamp pressure causing me to scream, which his swallows with a hard kiss. Then he removes them and they fall the floor with a loud clatter.

"More" I pant, "more please"

And he delivers, trailing the riding crop along my hip, and I tense in anticipation. He moves closer, running the end along my dripping core and then stops. I'm about the scream out at him for being so evil when an almighty strike hits my swollen clit. I'm taken by complete surprise and I come. Before I can collapse Christian has dropped to his knees, supporting my jello like body and flicks his tongue over me, fuck I can't come again, I will definitely collapse. But tugging on the clamp and sucking I feel myself bubble with pleasure. The clamp is removed but he doesn't stop, his fingers are digging into my ass.

"Fuck!" I explode! But Christian doesn't let me fall. He lifts me up unhooking my restraints, still bound by the pearls, and sits down with me straddling him. I rest my head on his shoulder, and he kisses my shoulder, while trailing his fingers down my back.

"Let's get some feeling back in those legs shall we" and shifting me back slightly, he unbuttons his jeans and slides on a condom, grabbing my ass he positions me above him. Very slowly I lower myself onto him, while he kisses me. Holding me in place Christian begins to rock into me, I tilt my head back, the string of pearls falling down my back. Then I hear a buzz and my head shoots up, Christian gently runs the bullet vibrator along my breasts while we gently rock, it feels so good. But Christian then places the bullet on my clit and I arch my back further. Taking hold of my head Christian pulls me to him and kisses me, devouring me as his other hand grips my hip and he starts to thrust harder. This is going to be quick, especially when the vibrator speeds up, I start to clench! I start to bounce furiously matching his rhythm, desperate to reach my orgasm, and I do when Christian suddenly pinches my clit and I scream to the ceiling. Damn it, that was insane!

 **CPOV**

Fucking hell, that was amazing! That felt incredible! I think I've found a new partner in crime. I unwrap Ana's wrists and rub her shoulders, she places her hands on my shoulder. Completely spent!

"Damn you Grey...you've ruined me" she laughs, still panting.

I can't help the cheesy grin that spreads across my face. I'm glad I've ruined her for others, because there is no way in hell I am letting her go. "That was nothing baby, maybe just your initiation" and I give her a chaste kiss, "welcome to my world". But she looks exhausted, so I pick her up and take her back to my bedroom. When Ana is finally asleep I go grab my laptop so I can check some stuff while she has a nap.

Out of all my subs, four ring warning bells in regards to Ana's attack. Leila seemed unstable and distressed when I ended the contract. Susanna was violently angry and trashed my car once. Cheryl was extremely emotional, I thought she might do something stupid after we finished, luckily nothing did happen. And then there's Megan. I pull up all four of their records, contract copies and other information. Is there any clue as to whether it was one of them who attacked Ana?

About an hour later my head is killing me, I need a break and some coffee. When I feel a bit better I go back, more determined to find something to help. Something catches my eye. I frown at the screen while looking at Susanna's file, I wonder...? So I pull up Leila's records and my eyes pop, ok that could just be a coincidence. I pull up Megan and Cheryl's, fuck four out of four. All four women were admitted to hospital around their younger teenage years. All four were admitted for traumatic injuries at Seattle's Children hospital. The hospital where Elizabeth Morgan works. No fucking way! I pull up the email Welch sent me about the transactions between Elena and Elizabeth and I spit out my coffee. So that's what Elizabeth has that Elena wants, access to vulnerable children. All four women were in the hospital Elizabeth helped run. All four women were trained by Elena.

I grab my phone and press speed dial, he answers after the second ring, "Christian? Hi son, you ok?" My dad asks.

"Dad I need your help, can I meet with you alone tomorrow?" I'm frantic now, I know I have a meeting set up, but I need to meet him sooner.

"Of course son, shall I come over to yours?" Great now he's anxious.

"That will be great, thanks dad" and I hang up and I think I'm going to puke. Those two sick fucking bitches! Praying on vulnerable children! You won't get way with this again!


	40. Chapter 40

**Hallo, this is more of a fun filler chapter. I like the whole drama thing, but Ana and Christian are a new couple, isn't that supposed to be the fun honeymoon stage, with all fun and sex? I wanted them both to have some fun as well. I didn't like Ana being so timid and unadventurous in the original, so I wanted her be a bit more grrr lol hence her being a climber. And plus it's a nice way of seeing Ana and Elliot meet, a bit of brotherly love and the calming before the storm when Christian spills the beans about Elena. Excuse any typos lol :)**

 **Chapter 38 APOV**

I wake up in Christian's bed alone and look at the ceiling. Well I guess I can cross 'trying a little BDSM' off my bucket list, I stretch in contentment. Fuck! My body is aching so bad! Now, ok I'm not a professional athlete but I like to stay healthy, but I feel like I've had the most gruelling workout of my life. Rolling my shoulders for some relief I spy the clock, bloody hell it's late afternoon. Shit my mind is all over the place, what day is it? Ok yesterday was Friday, cause I had my interview...I'm now a little sad, I didn't get to celebrate. Well I did kind of, me and Christian played, but then Christian wasn't aware that I even had an interview, or that it was a success. I must remind myself to text Kate and tell her. My mom and sister I need to tell in person. Damn Ana you let that evil bitch take away your success, and instead got some stitches.

When I wrap myself in the bed sheet I go in search of Christian, but I can't find him. He's not in the great room or the kitchen, and I know there's loads more space here, but I feel rude roaming around his home alone. I could really do with shower, I don't think Christian would mind. So I go back to his bedroom. When I switch on the light I brace myself for my reflection in the bathroom mirror, and it's the second time I've looked in this mirror and been frightened by the reflection. On the right side of my face, is an angry looking wound. My skin is slightly stained from my bloody, and there is some swelling, nothing too bad but still. How can Christian find me beautiful? Well, he's done a great job of making me feel sexy and wanted so far. So I drop the sheet and walk towards Christians shower, where I stop and frown. Holy shit where's the on and off button? These shower controls looks like they could pilot plane. I press something and nothing happens, is that bad? Did I break it? So I press another and luckily the water now comes out, it's nice and warm so I step under. It's like a cleansing and it feels amazing, I close my eyes and let the water fall over my face, ignoring the sting from my injury.

Running my hands over my wet hair I suddenly spy Christian leaning against the wall watching me, there's something off with his expression, shit what's happened? We don't say anything, but he starts to shed his clothes and joins me, wrapping his strong arms around me and pulling me close, his erection poking at the small of my back.

"You ok?" I asks after a few minutes of silence.

Kissing my head I feel him slightly tense, "just some stuff at work. Don't worry about it baby"

"Ok...but I'm here if you need any help" I need him to know I'm here for him, just as much as he's been there for me.

"Thank you" and he's squeezes me tight, sounding extremely vulnerable. I want to take the tension away, I don't want to nag him for an explanation, this is his business and I won't pressure him. So instead I turn in his arms and careful not to touch his chest and I back him towards the wall. Very gently I run my finger along his happy trail, across his pelvic bone.

"May I?" Not telling him my plan, I'm hoping for a little trust. And he nods gently. I drop to my knees and take a deep breath, time to put that imagination into action Ana. And gently I kiss the inside of his toned thighs, a tremor runs through his muscles. I want to take my time. Taking note of our phone sex session I start dragging my nails against his sensitive skin, his head falls back against the wall. Good Ana keep going. But I'm faced with a dilemma. He's huge, how in the fuck is he going to fit in my mouth? Shit Ana, please don't puke! Or choke! So instead I flick my tongue under his tip, Christian moans so I do it again, wiggling my tongue underneath. "Fuck" Christian breathes out.

Teasing Christian is having a huge effect on me, watching this powerful man at my mercy is euphoric. I always found the idea of giving a guy a blowjob disgusting, imagining all sorts of nasty things. But I am surprised how much I am enjoying this, finding and discovering new ways to make Christian squirm, it's making me feel so confident. And I love the way Christian is dedicated to pleasuring me, so why not return the favour? So starting at his balls, I run my tongue all the way along and then sucking gently on the tip, causing him to jump.

"Jesus Ana" Christian pants just as I push him into my mouth. He's doesn't fit all the way, but he still hits the back of my throat. The impact forces me to swallow making Christian scream out. Ok that's a good sign. So I take hold of the base of his shaft and pull him out and pull him in, hitting the back of my throat every time. The vibrations of my moan cause Christian to tense more and now I take hold of his hand and place it on the back of my head, allowing him to have some control. Focusing on breathing and occasionally running my teeth along him, I cradle his balls, massaging and squeezing gently. Christian's grip tightens, his movements become powerful, his breathing more eratic. I can tell he's getting closer. "Baby I'm so fucking close" and he yells out when I suck harder now, taking hold of his ass and bracing myself. "Baby I'm gonna come. You need to stop if you-" I cut him off by furiously nodding, causing him to hit the sides of my mouth. And I look up at him, bare my teeth and give him a wink as Christian finally finds his release. Swallow. Swallow. Swallow. Don't think about it Ana. Keep breathing! Don't puke!

When Christian finally releases my hair, I lick Christian one final time and my chest puffs out in pride at a job well done. That wasn't as bad as I imagined. I could do that again. Taking Christian's out stretched hand he pulls me into an intense hard kiss, already I can feel that tension has melted away. "Fuck me! That was amazing!" Is it weird to beam with pride over getting praise for a blowjob? I don't care and I beam away. See virgins know how to play as well!

"Do you feel better" I ask, because yeah I wanted to help remove the visible tension. I don't like seeing him anxious, and it's not like I can go give him a hug.

"Much" and he kisses me, "thank you" and he kisses me deeply pushing me into the opposite wall. Fuck I need to stop now before this gets to crazy, especially when there isn't a condom in sight. I make a mental note to make a doctors appointment, because no way am I getting knocked up. Not for a few years anyway. Shit, did I just say that?

"I have some news" I break away from his demanding mouth.

Cocking his head to the side, "I hope it's good"

I think so, but then to multi billionaire, a part time job is a book shop is probably lame, "I've got a job"

Instead Christian's eyes bulge and a huge smile spreads across his face, "really?" So I bite my lip and smile and nod furiously. Suddenly his smile gets bigger and he pulls he into a tight hug. "That's amazing! Congratulations pretty girl!" And he kisses me, "why didn't you tell me before?"

"Well after the shit that happened yesterday, the moment was kind of stolen" it was, if I find that manipulative bitch I'm going to kick her teeth in! I don't care if I sound like a crazy freak, no one has the right to go around beating the shit out of people.

"This is great news Ana, I'm so proud of you" that means so much to me, "we need to celebrate!"

"I thought we did! What you did to me in your playroom was an amazing reward" I blush so hard at the memory of what he did to me.

"Oh that was nothing" he smirks, "but we're still going to celebrate this" and with that he turns off the water and leads me out, wrapping me in a towel. "I've got you some clothes in my closet, so once you're dressed, maybe we can go out and do something. Ok?"

"Sure. That sounds good" and with that Christian leads me to this closet. Christ I thought the shower was intimidating, but this is insane! Designer black and glass wardrobes with rows of expensive suits. Wow how many shoes does one guy need? I thought only girls had shoe fetishes? I'm afraid to touch anything in case I stain it or mark it. Pulling me towards a selection of drawers, Christian takes the bag from on top and hands it to me. I'm having palpitations, even the carry bag is luxurious, "Christian you really didn't need to do this?"

"Shut up, it's nothing. Now I'll let you get ready" I frown, where's he going, now he wants to give me privacy? Almost reading my mind he looks me up and down and smirks, "if I don't leave now, you and I won't be leaving his room for the rest of the day" and with a wink he turns and leaves. Aw but that sounds nice! Why was that not an option? Still, I drop my towel and look through the bag. Shit it's packed with all the essentials, from undies, clothes, shoes and toiletries, thank god I really need to brush my teeth and put some deodorant on. I don't know what I expect when I pull out and inspect the clothing, but it wasn't this. Comfy clothes! There's a white cotton jumper, with grey sweatpants, and black sneakers, I like how Christian gets my style is more about comfort then sexiness. But then I pull out the underwear. It's dark green with patches of lace, it's stunning. I may be a tomboy on the outside, but on the inside I always have on nice underwear, just for me. I'm dressed and go brush my teeth, throwing my hair up into a messy bun and go find Christian. I stop dead in my tracks.

"Oh my god what are you doing here?" I scream!

"Ana you total slut, I didn't know you'd be here" Kate laughs and wraps her arms around me. "Shit Steele" turning my head to look at my stitches, "that bitch is toast when I find her skanky ass!"

"Damn!" I see a tall buff looking guy stood next to Christian, so this must be Elliot huh? "That's one hell of a battle wound little lady"

"Elliot!" Christian warns.

"Hey I'm just saying! You've got yourself a tough one here bro, someone who won't take shit from you" he laughs and walks over to me and hold out a large hand. "I've heard a lot about you Ana, thanks for putting up with my kid brother"

I purse my lips and narrow my eyes in a playful way, "Hi Elliot, it's lovely to meet you and thank you for pleasing my friend so" and I take his hand. It's funny, I know he's a big guy and could crush me, but if he hurts my best friend I will go all flying squirrel on his ass!

"Soooo" Christian breaks the mini stare off between me and his brother, "Elliot, what are you doing here?"

Letting go of my hand he walks over to Christian, "I like her" gesturing to me over his shoulder, "I was going to take Kate climbing and wondered if you wanted to come...both of you?"

"That's up to Ana, this is kind of her day" Christian winks at me, I love it when he winks, it's so Christian, not Christian Grey CEO.

I love climbing, "that sounds cool".

Once we are in the car park, Christian unlocks his Land Rover Discovery and all four of us climb in, Elliot and Kate in the back. I love this car! As we pull out, Christian takes hold of my hand, rubbing my knuckles. My phone buzzes.

 **Could you two be any more adorable? It's going to make me puke!**

I blush like crazy, so I turn in my seat and playfully punch Kate on the leg.

"Oh, oh it's like that huh?" She laughs. I poke out my tongue. "It's on!"

"Like donkey kong" and we both laugh, the guys look confused. "Yeah be afraid, very afraid, with me and Kate it's like double the madness!"

Elliot coughs, "please, I think we can take on two little girls" and then he leans forward and slaps Christian on the shoulder, "what do you think little brother, can we handle these two?"

Then Christian turns to me and starts to laugh, I love him laughing he looks so carefree, "oh I think it's manageable"

"Well how about we make this interesting Grey one and two?" Kate chirps in over excited, ah fuck what is she going to promise now?

"What have you got in mind babe?" Elliot asks.

"Boys verses girls. If a girl climbs to the top first, then you boys have a consequence which me and Ana will discuss" I could kill Kate right now! She's ignoring my evils, so much so that I think I popped a vein.

"Ok, Kavanagh you're on! First ones to the top decides the consequence" Christian surprisingly agrees. Oh shit!

The ride to our destination is quiet, I guess everyone is in their game zone, prepping for war. I text Kate.

 **Good one Kate! I can't believe you roped me into this, if we lose I will chew off your ankles!**

I hear a chuckle from behind me.

 **Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha**

Christian suddenly pulls into an outdoor centre carpark, there are stunning cliffs nearby. "Shall we ladies?" Christian turns to us all.

The guys go and gather the equipment and climbing boots, aw I hate new shoes, they never work properly, especially if it's for a sport. I wish I had my own gear. I lace up my climbing boots and rotate my feet trying to get comfortable. Stepping into the harness I start assessing my carabiners, ( **note: I'm starting rock climbing, so my apologies to any pro climbers if I make any mistakes** ) and secure my helmet. Christian then comes over to me, "do you need a hand baby?" I know he's being sweet, but Elliot has a cocky expression. I like him, he's like the big evil brother I always wanted.

He's about to tie my rope when I take it and tie a perfect bowline knot, both guys mouths hit the floor. Priceless.

"Did I forget to mention...I'm awesome" I give them my biggest smile and I go chalk up.

I love climbing, I need to make much more of an effort to get out and climb! The feeling of my own strength and determination getting me further up, it makes me feel like I can do anything. If I can't rely on myself to get me there, then that's a failure to me.

"Oh my god" I hear Kate below me and press my head to the rock laughing, she's never been good with sports, "whose frigging idea was it to go climbing?" I lean back and look down and see Kate looking like Patrick starfish on the wall, not moving. It's sweet cause Elliot comes to her rescue, abseiling down and going slow to help her. I reach a lip and I swing my body to hook my foot into a crack and pull myself up, shit my muscles are going to kill tomorrow.

"That's a pretty great view" I hear Christian below me, I look down and he's looking at my ass. Bastard!

So I turn my body, so my legs are in the air facing towards the cliff top and my face is now facing Christian and I kiss him, "thank you for being so awesome" and I kiss him again before adjusting myself and begin to climb up.

 **CPOV**

Me and Ana are sat on the top of the cliff waiting for Elliot and Kate, we decided that we'd both give Kate and Elliot a joint consequence. Sitting on the edge of the world with my girl is an indescribable feeling, she is leaning on my shoulder, our fingers intwined. My past is my past, and after tomorrow I will finally be letting it go and moving forward. I'm dreading my meeting with my dad tomorrow but...it's one thing to hurt me and take advantage of me, but what about the other victims? The present and future victims? Someone's son. Someone's daughter. I'd kill anyway if they touched my child, I would be proud to do time. And I'm preparing myself for the anger of my parents, because no force on this planet would stop me from ripping any fucker for hurting my baby! Fuck. Did I just say my baby? This is the second time Grey, take a step back. You've just met Ana, that will frighten her off more then your playroom, the mention of babies and marriage!

Luckily I can hear Elliot coaching Kate, I'm happy for them. I hope she doesn't hurt my brother, because she may be Ana's friend and I may be the younger brother, but I've got my brothers back no matter what.

"Anytime now" I joke when I see both Elliot and Kate pop up over the edge, I offer her my hand and help her up. "Oh yeah, since you both were the last ones up we decided that you both should get the consequence" well it was Ana's idea, and it's not something I want to actually see.

"Elliot, my friend here has a real love for the film _Magic Mike_. Your consequence is to give Kate your best _Magic Mike_ lap dance" Ana is practically pissing her pants, whereas Elliot looks horrified.

Later we hike back down to the centre and return the equipment and Kate suggest we all go out and have a drink. Both me and Ana look at each other, great minds must think alike. The last time Ana went for a drink she nearly ended up on the back of a milk carton. Ana looks a little anxious, I guess she wanted to see her Mom and I don't want to be sporting a major hangover when I talk to my dad. But Kate insists, calling us party poopers. Christ Elliot's got his work cut out for him, and she gives us strict orders to go wash and get changed while she deals with Ana. Ah shit what? I didn't agree to that bit! So I pout like a kid when I drop the girls off at Kate's, promising to be back in less then an hour, so they better be ready.

"Ok, I know I'm always the serious one, I never joke around, I'm always working,the quiet reserved Grey" I say to Elliot when we are back at my place, I hand him a beer, I need to get this done before we go collect the girls, "but I just wanted to say that I'm really happy that you've found some happiness El. You've always been there to support me, you told me to go and take a risk with Ana and I really appreciate you being there for me, but I wanted to let you know that I'm proud to have you as my big brother. And I'm glad you're in an amazing place in your life" and now I take a swig, taking in Elliot's shocked expression. If he calls me a sap I'll punch him.

"Holy fuck, who are you and where is my wanker of a brother Christian Grey?" I guess I deserved that. "Thanks Christian, that means a lot."

But I know what I need to do now and it's going to break him, "El...I've got something I want to talk to you about..." He looks at me expectantly, "are you free to meet up early next week?" I'm not ruining today.

"Sure, just name the day and time and I'm there" he smiles, I can always count on him.

"Cool, now you owe Kate a lap dance" I slap him on the back and I ask Taylor to drive us, I don't want to risk everyone's safety if we have to go out for a drink.

Elliot and I go buzz the buzzer to Kate's apartment and Kate answers giggling like a loon, "who goes there?" Well it looks like someone started the party without us.

"Kate, open the door you nerd" Elliot laughs, and the insult works, because the door opens. When walk up to Kate's, the door flies open and Kate runs and jumps onto Elliot, slamming him into the wall. Jesus Christ! And I turn to see Kate attacking Elliot, which he doesn't seem to mind. Hands and tongues everywhere, Urgh.

"Kate I'm going to get Ana" I yell over my shoulder and walk into Kate's, I'm surprised, it's nice. Not my taste, but very warm and calming colours, very unlike the Kate I just saw. I spy Ana in the corner leaning over a stereo swaying her hips from side to side, singing quietly to _Hold Tight_ by Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick  & Tich. She's wearing a tight pair of black skinny jeans and a white lace top, I can't resist going over and pulling her hips into me. "Hi pretty girl" she turns slightly to me and I kiss the tip of her nose.

"Hi" she sighs out melting into my embrace.

"Shall we go, before Elliot and Kate get arrested for having sex in the hallway?" And I don't fancy bailing them both out. Ana nods, she's really quiet. When she turns completely to face me I try to assess if she's upset, but she looks fine. Happy. She takes my face in her tiny hands and kisses me. In that one kiss she made me feel cherished...loved? And we walk hand in hand to the car.

As much as I hated the idea of us going for a drink, what with it bringing back unfortunate memories of Ana going out alone and getting into trouble, I'm glad we did. Ana looks so relaxed and free dancing with Kate, it's hypnotising to watch. And other fuckers are looking to, but she's mine, and I walk over and take my girl in my arms. If this is what I get for saying goodbye to Elena and her destructive ways; my youth, fun, possibilities for more, then I couldn't be more happier. I know my family is going to be devastated with what I have to tell them, but I have to put a little more faith in them, we will work through this together. But I have to draw the line with my love for my family when Ana tells Elliot he must perform his consequence. No man, especially my brother, should be gyrating his hips like that. Urgh I don't think I'm drunk enough to see this!


	41. Chapter 41

**So it begins...dumdumduuuuum lol I also felt there wasn't much in the original book about Christian and his dad's relationship. So I thought I'd give them this moment together. Excuse any typos everywhere :) let me know what you think, I love hearing from you guys**

 **Chapter 39 CPOV**

After I dropped Ana off at home last night I couldn't sleep. Despite having an amazing night with Ana and Elliot, even Kate, the alcohol had worn off and I was now sober. All the anxiety and regret was crashing down on me. I'm sat on my balcony of my office, taking a breather from the research I've got scattered on my desk, to show my dad later. I hope I'm doing the right thing. Couldn't I expose Elena and leave my past with her out of it? No of course not you dick. She'd love that, being the one to break my family with the story, she's sick like that, she enjoys inflicting emotional pain. It's so bizarre to think how she and my mom became friends, my mom is the most thoughtful, kindest woman out there, if she could spare anyone pain she would in a heartbeat. I can't say the same for Elena, I can picture those Botox lips curling into a smirk as she tells my mom what we used to do, enjoying to agony my mom will experience. No, this is why you need to tell them Grey! Yes it's going to hurt! Yes it's going to humiliate you! But once they know it's done, we can move forward, as a united front we can break Elena.

And I can't let anyone else get hurt. Already I've highlighted the more recent transactions between Elena and Elizabeth, and though I don't have the names of the children involved, there are so many names, I know I am letting this continue by saying nothing. The hard thing is going to be asking my dad to not tell mom yet. I need to tell her, and I also need to have her ignorant so Elena won't get any ideas of what we have planned. Once me and dad have a plan of action I will tell my family. They are going to be so disgusted with me. I just pray they don't treat me differently, I couldn't handle that.

Once I've put the papers in order I decide there's no point going to sleep, it's 4:57am already and I am nowhere near tired. So I decide to go down to the gym for a hour. I programme the treadmill and start to walk warming up my muscles, focusing on my breathing to stop me from over thinking. But when I start to pick up the pace and run I think of Ana. I'm going to have to tell her about Elena...her reaction is the one I am dreading the most. At least with family they are supposed to stand by you no matter what. But what will my new girlfriend think when I tell her I used to fuck my mom's best friend! Oh and it started when she seduced me into a world of BDSM at 15 and it lasted for like six years...oh yeah and we are still on speaking terms! Can I be anymore of a letdown? I mean I've just met her mom, and I'm supposed to show I can look after her daughter and provide her with a stable relationship...yeah I'm a great catch for her little girl! There's loads more to Ana then she's let on and I could easily do some digging to find out about her past, but I need to show her the same courtesy she's shown me and let her tell me. But with her own issues, does she really need to add my crap to her pile? Shut up Grey! She's not that cruel, sarcastic and frustrating yeah, but Ana isn't the kind of person who would be so hurtful. But I still need to tell her, Elena is a force to be reckoned with and she will go for my weaknesses. In the past it was just my family, now she will go after Ana, I know she will. I'm so glad I've got Sawyer watching over her when I'm not there, she's going to bust my balls if she discovers him, but I'll deal with that when I have to. But now I've got another thought, Ana is my weak spot and Ana's is her family, shit! I stop the treadmill and grab my phone, I need someone keeping an eye out for Ana's family. I email Taylor telling him to find me some reliable security, I need someone for Ana's mom, and then there's Ana's sister, and of course she has four boys. This is the perfect mood I need to be in, angry, fuming. No one messes with my family, even if it is my future one. I now need a shower.

My dad is set to come over this morning so I go get everything ready in my office, and since it's Sunday I had asked Mrs Jones if she could prepare something for lunch, just in case. I won't be hungry after this, that's why I have stocked my liquor cabinet. I'm so nervous, and I don't do nervous. It's Ana's fault, she's released all these new emotions! I find myself looking at the clock, checking my phone constantly. My palms are sweating! For fuck sake Grey calm down! I need a drink, I pour myself some whiskey and toss it back, the sharp burning taste helps set me straight.

"Mr Grey" Taylor announces, oh fuck, "your father has arrived" I gulp in fear.

"Thank you Taylor, and no interruptions today" and he nods and leaves while I make my way to the hall to meet my dad.

I hold my breath as I wait for the doors to open, and my dad appears, giving me a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Morning son, you ok?" He comes forward and claps me on the shoulder and I don't know what possesses me to do this, but I pull my dad in and hug him. Fuck the burning pain, fuck the fear, I need my family more. I think my dad is in shock because he is poker stiff and his hands hesitate at his sides. But that makes me squeeze him tighter, and his arms rise and timidly wrap around me, causing me to tense but I don't move.

"I need a drink" I murmur as I finally release my dad, who just nods, dumbstruck and follows me to my office. So much for keeping cool Grey! I pour two large whiskies on the rocks and hand him one.

My dad looks down at the drink frowning, "oh screw it, it's five o'clock somewhere" and he tosses it back and I pour him another.

I take a seat and I look my dad in the eye, "dad, I'm so sorry, I wish it didn't come to this. Well I wish this never happened, but...I-I need your help"

"What do you need?" He asks, no questions.

I take a deep breath. That's doesn't work, so I take a swig of my drink. Here goes nothing, "I have reason to believe that Elena Lincoln is a paedophile and is currently abusing vulnerable children..."

My dad chokes on his drink, "that's one hell of an accusation son! What makes you think that?" Trying to laugh it off almost, because no way would a close friend of the family be such a monster.

Pease don't hate me, "because when I was 15 she started abusing me" and I stop, letting it set in. I can't say whether I'm happy I've told someone, upset, scared, right now it's like numb. A weight has been lifted and it's more relaxing then anything. My dad is still silent. But the silence hasn't stopped his eyes from filling up.

"Please tell me this isn't real?" He whispers. I shake my head and the tears start to fall, "that bitch hurt my little boy!"

"I'm-I'm so sorry dad! Please don't hate me!" I beg like a child. But then my dad turns to me, the tears still falling, but he looks furious!

Slamming his drink on my desk he stands and points in my face, "you listen to me Christian Trevelyan-Grey, don't ever think for one minute that I would ever hate you! Do you understand me?" I nod, it's funny, I'm a grown man but my father still has that ability to use his authority over me. "You are my son! My boy, and I will never hate you! I hate myself for not protecting you from that fucking sack of silicone" I've never heard my father swear, and I can see why he's such an amazing lawyer, he can be frigging scary as hell. "Now I want you to tell me everything, and I promise you, if it's the last thing I do, that bitch will regret the day she fucked with my family"

For the next hour I tell my dad everything, from the time I first felt Elena's predatory looks when ever she was round our house, how uncomfortable she made me feel when I was a child, to the moment she slapped me and kissed me when I was working in her backyard. But now I cringe when I reveal the next part, "when she invited me back the next day, she took me into her house and showed me a room...a BDSM room"

My dad looks horrified, "what as in canes, whips, chains, that sort of thing?"

"Yes" I simply say.

"So what? I'm sorry I don't understand this bondage thing, she wanted you to hit her?" He asks.

"No...more like the other way around" I answer weakly

My dads hands turn white as he squeezes the glass, I'm frightened it will break, "she hit you, with canes, whips?" He forces out through clenched teeth. I nod.

"How long did she hurt you?" He says in a stone cold tone

"Six years" I reply

"Why did it go on that long? You would have been twenty one, why stay in that when you were an adult and she couldn't take advantage of you?" I've been asking myself the same question.

"Her husband found out, that's why it stopped." And fuck she got a beating for that. I was so lucky he never found out it was me, otherwise he would have killed me.

"So...you're telling me that if Richard hadn't found out, you'd still let her hit you for her pleasure?" He's angry now, at me, probably I don't blame him.

"Maybe. She had her claws in so deep that the lifestyle was all I knew" it's true she programmed me to need her and the lifestyle, I was weak and had no choices.

"So you've stopped the lifestyle?" My dad asks, hoping I can tell that I say yes.

I'm going to disappoint him now, "Uh...not exactly"

"You still practise it?" He frowns.

"Yes" my head is down, I've never felt so ashamed of being a Dominant before. I never thought I could live without it, but right now I'd kiss it goodbye if it spared me this humiliation.

"You let other women hit you?" Never again would I let that happen, though I can imagine Ana hitting me if I pissed her off.

"No. I am no longer a submissive." I say confidently. I will no longer let that bitch dictate to me.

His confusion turns to fury, "Please don't tell me you hit women? Because if you do I'm coming over there and knocking some sense into you! I've taught you never to hit a woman!"

"I have never hit a woman the way you are thinking dad. I've been a dominant, I've been with women who are part of the lifestyle, and it's consensual I promise" I'm a freak I know, but I'm not a sick twisted bastard who would force something on a woman if she wasn't comfortable.

"Is it like those dating sites, you tick the box BDSM?" Yeah if you're an amateur.

"People have done that. But...Elena was always the one to find me a perfect submissive" and it makes me sick to think how's she's actually done that.

"So what, she just picks out these girls? Is there like a submissive phone book and she just went down the list?" Dad laughs humourlessly in disbelief.

"Kind of...well I thought she did. But...this is why I think she's still abusing children" now time to drop the third bombshell.

"What do you mean?" My dad asks wearily.

"She's had help. Like with me, she took advantage of my issues, my past. And I think she's doing the same kind of thing with other kids who are experiencing problems, and she's been luring them into BDSM as a way for them to cope. Like with me" and it ain't happening anymore.

"So whose helping her? Where are these children coming from?" He asks.

"Seattle's Children hospital. Her contact for the children's information is Elizabeth Morgan" the colour drains from my dads face.

"You're not fucking serious?" He demands

"I've found multiple transactions made to Elizabeth's bank from Elena. Four of women I had been seeing had been admitted to the hospital during their teen years. For all four of their dates, Elizabeth received money from Elena. Elena then trains the girls and sends them off to be submissives, getting a percentage for their services." Fucking sick bitch, I can't believe I got caught up with her.

"So she's a fucking high-class pimp as well as a child molester?" My dad shakes his head in frustration.

"Yeah" I answer.

"You didn't pay her anything for those girls did you son?" My dad almost pleads.

"No! Thank god I didn't pay for her services in that, it's the only reason I'm thankful for being her silent partner at the salons, because she introduced me to my subs for free as a thank you. And all the girls were of age, I make sure before with a background check and they all sign an NDA" I am so thankful that I can be an overly cautious bastard!

"Good! That's good! If she's making money then we can add that to the offences against her. But we need solid evidence of her doing this, yes we have it in paper, but we would need testimonies" fuck the one thing I didn't want to do "I will do everything I can to keep you out of this son, that's why I'm not going into this guns blazing just yet. We need to get this bitch! I don't want just a slap on the wrist" and I can see the wheels in his head turning, planning how to preceded.

"Dad I know this is a lot to ask, but I need to be the one to tell mom. And I know that's going to be hard for you, but she deserves to hear it from me. And also I have no idea how this is going to work, especially if we need to keep Elena in the dark" it's a lot to ask my poor dad, after everything I've just thrown at him, but I need his word.

"I know, I know! But we are going to have to tell her, I can't keep anything from your mother. But I respect what you're saying, this is your story to tell. I've got a friend who I've worked with on abuse cases in the past, without making any connections to you, I think I'd like to ask his advice if you're ok with that?" If it will bring this bitch down, I could use all the help I can get.

"Sure dad, I appreciate any help you can give me. I've got my guys following Elena and Elizabeth and they are digging" I have a meeting set up next week with Welch and Taylor discussing what's been found.

"Now it's just the question of dissolving your partnership with her" he says.

"I've got my legal team working on it and we are set to discuss it next week" I reply.

My intercom suddenly buzzes, for fuck sake! "Taylor I said no interruptions"

"I apologise Mr Grey, but your mother has been ringing asking about your father" he isn't frightened by my tone.

"Oh shit, I put my phone on silent" my dad sits up and checks his phone. I laugh, my dad's as whipped as I am. He holds up his finger to give him a minute. "Grace, is everything ok?...yeah I'm still with Christian...shit it's three o'clock...I had my phone on silent...yes honey I'm aware that was irresponsible...I'll see you in a bit...I love you to" and he hangs up. Christ we've been talking for ages.

"I'm sorry I've kept you so long dad" I apologise for getting him into shit with mom.

"Don't you dare apologise, I wouldn't be anywhere else but helping my son" he gives me a slight smile, "just wish it was under better circumstances. But we will get through this, together". And he claps me on the shoulder.

"Thanks dad" and again I pull him into a hug. I never understood how much this simple gesture made one feel so safe, yet right now I feel like a kid running to the safety of my dads arms, to help chase the monsters away.

"Now, I want to be at any meetings regarding this ok?" And I nod into his shoulder, and I release him and we walk towards the foyer and I ask Taylor to drive my dad home since we've had a drink.

When my dad steps into the elevator he turns to me, "oh and maybe some other time you can tell me about this girl that's had quite an impact on you" and he smirks.

What the fuck! How? Who? He knows about Ana?

Answering my question, "that brother of yours, he's got a big mouth" and he winks and leaves me dumbstruck! Fucking Elliot!


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 40 APOV**

When Christian dropped me off Saturday night I was so excited to tell my mom the news of my job offer, I had the most amazing day and I was buzzing. I creeped inside my house, trying not to wake my mom in case she was asleep. But when I went to the kitchen to get a drink I found my mom in the living room and I panicked! Fuck she only ever sleeps downstairs when she's not well! Shit she was alone, in pain, Ana how could you leave her alone? I rush to her side, trying not to wake her, but doing my routine checks. Checking for swelling, removing the sick bowl, getting some fresh water.

"Hey you" my mom smiles sleepily.

I push the hair out of her hot face, "hi. I'm sorry I woke you" and I stroke her hair, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm ok, bit tender but I'm fine I promise" she tries to reassure me.

"Mom I just emptied a bowl full of sick, that doesn't say fine to me. Why didn't you call me, I would have come and helped you?"

"Don't be silly, I wasn't going to ruin your fun. Besides, you've had a lot to deal with recently, I think you needed a night with your friends" and she winks, obviously referring to Christian.

"I've got some news. You can't shout at me for telling you now though ok? But I found out Friday and with all that happened it got pushed back, and I didn't want to just text you" she nods in agreement, "I was called for an interview, and I got the job"

Now she struggles to sit up and grabs me and hugs me tightly, "oh my god Ana that's brilliant! Honey I'm so proud of you!" And she lets me go, "what's the position?"

"Well it's only part time, but that's ok for a minute. I was told there was chance of extra hours. It's in the bookshop down town" I'm beaming.

"That's amazing! That's perfect for you! When do you start?" She asks.

"Monday. Well training on Monday. It's two eight hour shifts, which is good because I still have time in the week"

"We have to celebrate! And how about we go out after your first shift?" She says.

"I like the idea of us celebrating. But how about instead of going out, we have dinner together here. I've got some new recipes we can try, and plus it's such an ordeal going out with Izzy and the boys. Why don't we do that?" I suggest.

"We can do whatever you want Ana, but I will be cooking, I don't fancy Izzy in the kitchen, I was on the toilet for hours when she last cooked" and we both laugh uncontrollably. Yeah my sister is not the most domestic of people.

"Deal. Now, do you need any painkillers? Or do you want some food-" I ask but she cuts me off with the wave of her hand.

"Stop fussing I'm fine. Just some flare ups" she huffs at me

"Where?" I ask.

"My shoulder and my knees. But it's ok I promise" she brushes her pain off.

"I'll tell you what, I'm going to go and make you some ginger tea" she grimaces, "I know you hate it, but it helps with the pain. And then I'll rub some eucalyptus oil in your joints and let you sleep, ok?" She gives me a weak smile, she hates feeling so weak. Her arthritis has really destroyed her confidence, she's been so used to being the strong captain of the ship, but now she feels useless. I hate seeing her like this, I feel so helpless and such a bitch making her take her meds and forcing her to drink ginger tea which I know she hates. My way around this, is that what ever she eats and drinks, I eat and drink it with her, so we both suffer. I hate ginger tea, but if me drinking it helps mom drink it, then I'll do it.

After she's settled I make my way upstairs and brush my teeth, scrubbing away the stale taste of alcohol and the tang of ginger tea. Then I climb into bed and fall into a deep sleep. But it's here that the beautiful moments of today are pushed aside, and all I can see is that alleyway. It's like looking through dirty glass, everything is distorted. But I can see red lips, framing teeth clenched in anger. What did I do to deserve such a beating?

"He's mine!" She yells. It's so loud it hurts!

Like fragments of a broken mirror I finally see a beautiful brunette on top of me, looking down with such hatred. She looks like me, brown hair, fair skin, but stunning. I'm nothing compared to her. How can I compete with her?

"Why me?" I plead, "what did I ever do to you?"

"You stole him from me! You took the one thing I wanted most in the world, his love!" And now she leans closer and I can see her perfectly, "and now I'm going to take him back. I'm going to make you so ugly no one will ever want you" and with a dirty piece of glass in her hand she draws the shard back and swipes at my face. All I can see is blood. All I can hear are my screams.

Help me!

Someone help me!

I wake up with a jolt, panting and crying! My hands go to my face, I wince when I touch my stitches. I fall out of bed and run to a mirror, examining every inch on skin for slash marks! I fall to the floor shaking! That was horrible! The worse nightmare I think I've had in years. So I guess my attacker was definitely an ex of Christian's, she was devastatingly beautiful. Now she looks good for him. And she sees me as the reason why they are not together, I am so fucked! It's not like I slept with him while they were together, but in her mind she won't care, I'm just an obstacle. An expendable one! I can't see her going down quietly after this. I'm a survivor, I always have been, but I don't see this being settled with a regular punch up. No I can imagine this bitch playing dirty, being vindictive and I'm going to suffer from more then just a couple of stitches.

Shut up Ana! It's just been a long day, you're not going to let this slut win! So pick yourself up, dry those tears! You've let people dictate your life for too long, and I'm not letting some pissed off ex make me give up something amazing and ruin it for me!

 **Still APOV - Monday when Ana starts her job**

I'm so nervous, it's my first day at my new job! Christ I wasn't able to sleep last night in fear that I would over sleep and be late! It's only 6:57am and already I've had like six cups of tea! Calm down Ana, you're going to do fine! I really need a shower, I'm sweating so bad! I decide to wear simple black slacks and a black jumper, I was told to dress smart but casual, and pull my hair back slightly leaving waves around my face covering my stitches. Applying some lip balm and deodorant I'm ready to do this!

Riding the bus to town I think about how much my life has changed in the past month. I was once a hopeless lost little girl, despite being 25 years old, I never felt grown up, a woman. I had no job, no money, no boyfriend, no independence, I had nothing, I was nothing. But as sappy as I sound, I feel the slightest glimmer of hope. Yeah I've been attacked twice within this exciting time, and yes my bank account is still depressing, but I am so grateful for my family, my one real friend, my new job opportunity, and of course Christian. I owe so much to him, for helping me to find my way back. So now I take a deep breath, you've survived a lot in life Ana, you don't need to fear this next part. You're going to do fine today, and I hold my head high and press the stop button on the bus and make my way to my new job.

Oh my god I love this job! It's perfect! Sylvia my boss is still sarcastic and a comical old bag, I've met Stacey and Charlie, two girls who work there and have been helping with my training. There's a guy called Paul who works here, but he doesn't work today, but I will meet him next week. After the morning of learning how to use the till and stocking shelves I'm allowed to go for a break. I nip around the corner to grab myself a coffee and pull out my phone to text everyone.

 **Hey mom just wanted to say hi and tell you that I'm having a great day here at my new job :D will tell you more later xx**

And I can't forget Kate.

 **Kate! Is it too early to say that I am so in love with my new job and it's only been a few hours? Will that jinx it? Hope you're ok hun xx**

And then I pause when I go to type Christian's text...is it weird that I have butterflies in my stomach and I haven't even spoken to him since yesterday? I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder, and though I've been so focused on doing a good job all day, the thought of talking to Christian as a reward is appealing.

 **Hi, how are doing? Did you suffer much from all the fun Saturday night lol! I'm having a good day and wanted to spread the joy and annoy you :)**

Ok childish I know, I sound like a little girl in the playground, but life's too short to be so serious. I close my phone and drink my coffee, and eventually walk back to work.

When my shift finally finishes Sylvia pulls me aside. "So how did you find today Ana? We didn't scare you off did we?" She laughs.

"Na you're not that bad. In fact I really enjoyed today, so much so that I am looking forward to coming back tomorrow" I challenge.

"Well that's good. But you wait until things start getting busy, you'll be rocking back and forth in the corner begging for a break" she puts her arm around my shoulder and gives me a squeeze. Every boss I've had I've hated since day one, please don't say this will be the same! I say goodbye to the girls and make my way to the bus stop, not taking my iPod or phone out until I'm on the bus. I don't want any distractions which could cause a repeat of my last attack. There are people waiting with me, I eye them suspiciously. An old woman, I could take her down I laugh to myself. A group of teenage boys being a bit loud, but they are just kids. It's that guy that has me on edge. Well built, could easily hurt me, stern look, cropped hair. Why would a guy like that be taking the bus? Calm down Ana, he could be going to the gym! When I'm safe on the bus I take out my phone, telling mom I'll be home soon. I have a text from Christian.

 **Well I'm glad I'm one of those special people who you shared the joy with, I'm honoured :) and you didn't annoy me, you helped turn a boring meeting into something much more tolerable. I take it you had a good first day? I want to hear all about it. And yes I did suffer Saturday night, you weren't in my bed with me.**

Damn Christian Grey, you know how to make a girl weak at the knees.

 **Aw poor poor Christian, I have an idea how I can make it up to you ;) I did have a very good first day, thank you for asking. I'm on my way home now, so I'll tell you more about it later. I'm glad my pestering kept you entertained today! You should feel honoured, I don't let just anyone into my life, and I'm glad I did this time.**

When I get to my stop I feel much more relaxed knowing I am nearly in the safety of my home. Though that doesn't stop me from looking over my shoulder from time to time. I open my front door and fall back against the door in relief of being home, it's been a crazy day.

"Ana?!" I hear my mom call from the kitchen. When I turn the corner she's sat at the table with a bottle of wine.

I lean against the door frame, scowlling, "mom you know you're not allowed alcohol with your medication."

She pokes out her tongue making me laugh, "shut up MOM, we are celebrating! I've cooked you a meal, and before you go mad saying how I could have hurt myself, I'm fine. And I thought we could have a little drink? Well need it for when Izzy and the boys arrive, which shouldn't be long."

How can I say no, especially after all the effort she's put it. I take the bottle and pour a glass and take up the white wine, "to many more good days I say" and I raise my glass to her.

"oh and a package came for you. I hope you don't mind I watered it" and she points in the direction of a plant. It's a daffodil. I take out the card.

 **I was going to get you some flowers, but I remember you told me it's cruel to cut down something so beautiful. So I got you this instead, the woman in the shop said the daffodil symbolised a new beginning or something. If you'll let me, I can't wait to be by your side through all the other chapters in your life.**

"So honey, tell me about you day!" My mom asks when I'm sat, and for the first time in ages I'm happy to share the news with my mom.

 **Hahaha so more fluff I know, but I like a bit of sweetness. I wanted Ana to have some good, as there should be more drama to come! But I find writing fun makes me nauseous, so I wanted to move past asap. Also did anyone notice the well built guy at the bus stop haha. And the attacker wasn't Elena, but does it mean she wasn't involved? Excuse typos I'll change them asap :)**


	43. Chapter 43

**Right, here's my newest chapter. It's funny it's all from Christian's point of view, which I found strange cause I prefer writing from Ana's point of view. Haha maybe it's the fact that my sister borrowed me the new GREY book. Anyway. I like this chapter, it explains more about Ana and her hard time. Listen everyone has their own issues and deals with things differently and this is my way of dealing with these past problems. Again, you know the dril, excuse the typos hahaha :)**

 **Chapter 41 CPOV a few days later**

"Miss Steele has been taking to number 75 bus from her home and into town, where she walks to work" Sawyer is sat opposite me, giving me the details on Ana's week, thank God there's been no issues. Though what the fuck is she doing taking the bus? There was a report last week of a girl getting raped at a bus station, why doesn't she drive? I guess she can't afford a car, well a safe car, on a part time shop assistant job salary. Hmmm I'll have to fix that.

"Has there been any issues while at work? No hassle from customers?" I ask.

"No sir, not that I am aware of" he answers. Good.

"What about during her break, has she been ok? No one following her while she's alone?" That's my biggest concern, when she's alone.

"She has been visiting a local coffee shop 5 minutes away from the bookstore, and no nothing to report there" he answers.

"Good. Thank you Sawyer, that will be all for now" And I dismiss him.

"Thank you sir" and he rises gracefully, despite being a hefty guy and leaves.

I'm about the look over some contracts when my intercom suddenly buzzes, "Mr Grey I have been informed, that a woman by the name of Steele is downstairs asking for a moment of your time. As she's not on the list-"

"It's fine Andrea send her up, and any time Miss Steele is here please send her through" I tell her and roll up my sleeves. I go out into the foyer to meet Ana from the elevator and I am take back when the doors finally open.

"Mrs Steele, what a pleasant surprise" I extend my hand which she takes, "to what do I owe the pleasure?" I pull out all the charm, I've got to get on Ana's mom's good side.

She smirks up at me and laughs, "relax kiddo I'm not the Queen of Englad, no need for such formality or ass kissing, it's just Carla". I hear a gasp from Olivia, she hasn't witnessed a woman talk to me like that before. Usually it would annoy me, but since I've met Ana I've found that wicked tongue of hers challenging. So of course her mother would be the same, and it looks like Ana had a good teacher.

"Well I can see where Ana gets her sarcasm from" I cock my eyebrow and give her a grin, gesturing towards my office. "Andrea cancel my next meeting" I inform my assistant as I walk past.

"Don't be silly, I didn't mean to just drop by and mess up your schedule-" she flusters.

I cut her off, "Carla you are welcome any time to drop by, please don't worry" and I walk us towards the sitting area in my office, it's less formal, "would you like anything to drink?"

"A tea would be lovely, point me in the direction of the kitchen and I'll make us both some" she smiles.

I shake my head and press the button on my desk, "Andrea could you please bring me some coffee and some tea for Mrs Steele-" and then I turn to Carla, "do you take milk, sugar?"

"Oh um yes please, milk and one sugar please" she blushes. It's so strange, Ana blushes when someone does something for her. I give Andrea the order and make my way to join Carla.

"So, I'm hoping this is a good visit and you're not intending to bash my brains in and cut me up and feed me to your cats because I'm dating your daughter?" I say as calmly as I can. Don't give her ideas Grey, I've heard horror stories about mother in-laws.

Instead she bursts out laughing, "that will only happen if you ever hurt my baby girl Mr Grey, remember that!" It's a little frightening I have to admit, I mean I know she's a petite mature woman, but the threat is there. It's like that evil leprechaun from that shit movie. "But relax, I just wanted to see if you were free to have that little chat?"

"Sure, but firstly I need to know, Ana's ok right? No more trips to the ER?" Let's get that cleared up, so I can breathe easily.

"No, thank God. Again I'm sorry to just drop by unannounced, if I'm honest I knew you had a good job, but this is insane. I thought I'd catch you on your lunch break, but instead I find out you own this huge ass building. I don't even know you, but I'm very proud of you for what you've accomplished here." She says.

"Thank you" fuck I can feel myself blushing, I don't fucking blush, but I've never had someone outside my family say they were proud of me.

She looks down at her hands and frowns, shit I'm anxious now as to what she wants to talk about. There's a knock at the door and Olivia brings in the tray with our drinks. Taking the milk and sugar Carla fixes her tea and takes a sip, "I know my daughter is a grown woman, but she's my little girl and you're the first guy she hasn't been frightened away by. And for that I congratulate you. Ana has built up some pretty hefty walls, and for good reason, but she's seen something in you and you're helping to break those walls down." And then she takes a breath, "I don't want to see her get hurt again".

Oh fuck, she's telling me about Ana, the past Ana, "what do you mean again?"

"You're probably going to think I'm an interfering old nag, but Ana has a magic way of suppressing horrible things and she won't let them out. And I know in the past her reluctance to talk about certain things has made people frustrated and annoyed and they've given up on her, and it breaks her." She looks down solemnly.

"I wouldn't do that to her, you have my word" I say firmly.

"Thank you and I can see you're being genuine here, but we've all had our trust issues and fallen for a well played part. But I want to believe that you're different, and for that reason Mr Grey I want to shed some light on my family." She says.

"Firstly, it's Christian. And secondly, I don't want to lose Ana's trust, and by you and I talking, she might see that as intrusive. We had our first fight when she believed I had invaded a personal space of hers" I laugh in memory of her outburst at the coffee shop and shudder in regards to her recklessness after.

Carla narrows her eyes a little in play, "what did you do?"

"I told her she was a very talented artist. She forgot her sketchbook and I returned it, saying how she had a gift that she shouldn't waste" that makes Carla shake her head with laughter.

"That's one of the reasons why I think I need to let you in on some things, because an outburst like that is very Ana, and it can seem very stupid to some people, but to her it's so much deeper then that" she says.

"Ok then, I'm listening" and I sit back.

Squaring her shoulders, Carla starts, "So from the start, I didn't have the greatest of families. My mother left when I was a baby and had a brand new family up in Canada, leaving me with my violent father. My father remarried and had three sons, he was overjoyed, he hated having a daughter. Even my stepmother hated having a stepdaughter, it's weird, I don't even know why this hatred existed. Anyway, when I was eighteen I got pregnant by a man named Frank Lambert, he was the love of my life, he treated me like a princess. We had a daughter named Sophia. My father was furious, but I didn't care anymore, I had the family I wished I always had. And two months later Frank and I were married and everything changed."

She stops and takes a sip of tea, "On our wedding night he gave me my first black eye. He liked to drink, and he got more violent, I eventually fell pregnant again and I had our second daughter Isabella. Frank was pissed off, I don't know what it is about guys wanting boys, I get the whole continuing the family name, but seriously? It's funny, when my brothers had kids, which turned out to be boys, my father was so happy. He and his wife opened up bank accounts for the babies, yet he despised me and my girls. Things got worse between me and Frank when I fell pregnant with Ana. He was a jealous, cruel man, and fuelled by drink he was a savage. When I was at the supermarket, I started small talk with a father I knew who attended a toddler group I went to with my girls. Frank was enraged, he got drunk one night and started accusing me of having an affair with the guy I was talking to, pointing to my stomach and telling me that that thing wasn't his. I had the worst beating I'd ever had that night. He didn't care that I was pregnant, he just kept kicking me and punching me. My neighbour had phoned the police and they found me unconscious and bleeding. I nearly lost my little girl that night, but she's a fighter. His family wouldn't help me, telling me I shouldn't have provoked him. I wanted a divorce. But growing up with a family who didn't want you, I was so desperate to keep my family together. When I gave birth to my beautiful Anastasia, I was so thankful she was alive and in my arms. But she had an issue with her foot. The doctors believed that it was due to the beating Frank gave me. That bastard could hurt me all he wanted to, but he always went for my babies, they are my weakness" and she looks down in pain. "Ana's never met her father, I divorced him thankfully, but neither him nor his family bothered with my girls. So in Ana's eyes, she's never been wanted. My parents didn't want to know, his parents didn't want to know, her father didn't want to know. So she's never felt good enough, especially since her cousins were spoilt rotten and she and her sisters ignored. If her own family didn't want her, then in her mind, why would she be good enough for anyone else? So that's where her anxiety towards men stemmed from. It grew, however during an incident eight years ago."

Oh fuck! What happened now?

"As a single mom I was determined to not let my girls miss out on the love they were denied but their family. Me and my girls were inseparable! But things started to change when Sophia and Izzy started growing up into their rebellious teenage years. Ana has always been the quiet one, hates causing trouble. She was always more interested in books and drawing then boys and makeup. Sophia liked the attention from the boys, she would bring them around the house when I was in work, and it used to frighten Ana. Izzy wanted to be like Sophia, so they used to hang around with the wrong people. Anyway Sophia finally started dating a guy called David Kingston. He was 23 she was 21, he seemed nice, a bit controlling which I didn't like, but Sophia is a headstrong stubborn shit, and she wanted him. They got engaged, and they had party to celebrate, Ana was 17. I wasn't well that night, so Dave promised to give Ana a ride home with Sophia, but apparently she got so drunk she passed out. So Dave drove Ana home alone, on the way there Dave attacked Ana".

I try to swallow the rage that has been bubbling, fucking piece of shit, what the fuck did he do to her? "He did what?" Is all I can bring myself to say, and I try so hard not to scream.

"When he wasn't going in the direction of our house she panicked. He locked the car doors and started trying to touch her, thank God nothing happened. She managed to bust his nose and got out. She was in pieces when she eventually got home, she had left her bag in the car so couldn't call home. It took her five hours to walk home in the dark. I called the police and he was arrested. But there wasn't enough evidence to convict him. Sophia eventually came to the house, Ana was alone at the time and she went mad on Ana. Apparently Dave had told everyone that Ana had come on to him and when he refused she got violent and then accused him of attempted rape. I got home and saw Sophia yelling before she slapped Ana, sending her flying. I had to pull her off Ana, she had a busted lip. Izzy was furious, she ended up fracturing Dave's jaw. From that moment on me, Izzy and Ana haven't seen or spoken to Sophia." She looks so lost.

Families don't fucking hurt each other like that! Mines not even blood, but we always have each other's back, defend each other no matter what. So this bitch sister put a scumbag guy before her little sister, no wonder Ana has such an attitude towards men! Her father, the one guy a girl should always be able to rely on for protection and love, hated her before she was even born. And this whole thing about the family hating girls, and loving these shit cousins of hers, what the fuck is that about? This is so fucking stupid, who are these people, and why wouldn't they want an amazing person like Ana in their lives? Ok I get Izzy is a bit of a pain in the ass, but even Izzy and her mom are amazing, why ditch them?

Fuck I'm shaking! I don't know how to respond. I know this feeling of rejection. This feeling of not being good enough. I'm fucking furious! These fuckers are on my list.

When I don't respond Carla adds, "Look I know people have had issues in the lives, I have, and I'm sure you have to, and we all deal with them in different ways. With Ana, her way of dealing with her issues is to close off from the world, brush people off with a sarcastic comment and try to push people away to avoid getting hurt."

"She tried to do that to me" I say, "push me away. But" and I take a breath to steady my anger, it does fuck all, "I'm not going anywhere. I know what it like to feel rejected by your family, I was adopted. My mother took off and left me alone, she didn't care if anyone found me. But they did, and I struggled with the anxiety of not being good enough for my new family. I understand more then you know. And I wouldn't want to inflict that pain on Ana, I don't want her to feel not good enough, because she is, she's incredible. She's compassionate, kooky, intelligent, stubborn and she has an amazing strength, you did an amazing job raising her".

Carla gulps loudly and her lip quivers, "thank you" she whispers.

"I don't know about the future Carla, I have no idea what's in store for us, but I can't imagine Ana not being in my future. And as long as she wants me I will be there, I will continue to tell her she's good enough, even when she tells me to get stuffed, I will always tell her she's beautiful, even when she flips me off, and I will always be there to protect and support her, even when she tries to push me off" I tell her.

Holding her face in her hands Carla rubs her face, "I'll hold you to that" and I hand her my handkerchief, "you're good for her, I'm glad she found you".

"She's good for me to" even my family have seen the change in me.

"Thank you again, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to come down here and blubber like a fool" and she hands me back the handkerchief.

"You and your daughter need to stop apologising all the time" I narrow my eyes at her, "would you like a glass of water?" I offer to calm her down.

She shakes her head, "no thank you I'm fine, just, these are happy tears. I've taken up too much time anyway. I came down here to make you fear me and I end up a mess" she laughs.

"I appreciate you talking with me, and thank you for trusting me with this information" and I have great plans for it. As soon as I'm alone I have a few calls to make.

"Just don't hurt her" and she starts to get up, clearly embarrassed from crying, "or I will come back with that mallet" she gives me the old Robert De Niro, "I'm watching you" gesture. And I nod, accepting the momma bear threat. "I'm going to now leave you in peace Christian" and we walk towards to door which I hold open and she pats me on the arm, I tense only slightly. "I'll be seeing you soon Christian, you've gotta get past Izzy and four little boys, so brace yourself"

I chuckle, causing my staff to fall into silence, get used to it, "I'm warned, I'll be sure to have pretty of bribes ready" and the elevator doors open, "have a good day Carla".

"You to Christian" and the doors close. I turn on my heel and walk back to my office and pick up the phone.

"Welch, I need you to find someone for me" I instruct firmly

"Of course sir, who am I looking for?" He asks

"David Kingston. Married to Sophia Steele, Anastasia Steele's older sister" I spit out the name, my fists clenching.

"I'll start right away and send you the information ASAP sir" he says.

"Very good, I want everything you can find! Do you understand?" This fucker won't be able to hide from me, I'll fucking destroy him for hurting Ana.

"Understood sir" and I hang up. I'll deal with the rest of those bastards who hurt her soon, but this Kingston fucker is the first one to suffer. Next, that shit excuse of a father. I hold my head in my hands pulling at my hair, the rage is crippling.

"FUCK!" And I pick up my glass coffee table and throw it, the cups and glass shatter everywhere. I go grab my phone and leave my office, "Andrea I need for you to clear my schedule for today, to get a cleaning crew in my office now, order a new coffee table and I need you to call Bastille and tell him I need to meet with him in the next half an hour" and I bypass the lift and head for the stairs, I can't wait I need to be moving.

 **Still CPOV**

Ok, after getting my ass kicked too many times by Bastille I knew this wasn't right. I was so desperate to hurt something after hearing about Ana that I wasn't concentrating, hence I was easy to take down. But as we prepare for another round, something was different, I ignored Bastille's warnings to calm down and was determined to take him down. And I did, I had him pinned, my arm around his neck, ignoring his tap outs, until he jabbed me hard in the ribs.

"What the hell is wrong with you Grey?" He yelled rubbing his throat.

Im fuming! It's all bubbling. Red hot rage, and it's seconds from eruptions. "Why does bad shit happen to good people?" I yell back at him.

"What?" He looks at me confused.

All the shit from Elena, Ana getting hurt, her past, my past, everything is eating away at me, "all my life I've seen nothing but hatred and pain, and I've gotten used to it. I've become immune! I'm stronger, I can handle it! But how the fuck can innocent people be continuously fucked over?! I mean what makes a parent hate her child so much that she leaves it to die? My fucking whore of mother did nothing but hate me! Carla's mother just ups and leaves her with an abusive dad who despises her! A man can beat a pregnant woman so badly he nearly kills them both! And that fucking plastic bitch warps my mind into thinking I need violence in my life, to treat women like shit because that's what she wants! I could have been a good person! I have all this fucking money and it means nothing, it can't save me from this feeling of disgust or fear or agony..." I fall to the floor shaking from my outburst!

"What do you need Christian?" Bastille asks.

I laugh humourlessly into the floor and shake my head and look up, "Ana. I need Ana" and I get up and leave.

I skid to a stop and turn off my car and lock it and walk hastily up the path and knock on the door.

Ana opens the door in a plain white vest and sweatpants, her hair in a messy bun, wearing her thick framed glasses, she's perfect, "Christian? Oh my God are you ok, what are doing here?" She asks concerned. I take her face between my hands and kiss her. It's different somehow, usually when I touch Ana it's like wild fire everything goes crazy. But now there's something much more pure and soothing about this kiss. I pull away and rest my forehead on hers.

"I just wanted to see you" and I pull her into my arms and hold her, calming me. Fixing me. Healing me.

"Ana don't leave the poor guy in the doorway, let him in" Ana's mom calls over her shoulder giving me a wink. "I'm going to have an early night. There's food and wine in the fridge, have fun, and there's condoms in the bathroom cabinet"

"MOM!" Ana yells cringing into me, I'm just shell shocked! "Oh my God I'm so sorry" she laughs, "now you can see why I've never invited you here".

I kiss the top of her head and she leads me to the small living room, it cosy and snug, there are photographs everywhere. Ana and her sisters, Ana and her mom, her sisters and her mom, Ana and her sisters as kids, Ana graduating. It may be a small family but there's a lot of love there, well I ignore that bitch Sophia.

I turn around and Ana has a bottle of white wine and two glasses, the one glass says "therapy I can afford".

"Now I know this isn't high priced French voo la wine, but still" and she pours the wine and hands me a glass and sits, patting the seat next to her. When I do she turns to me, "are you ok?"

"I think so" and I take a sip and grimace, "I must say this is the most incredible shit" and I take another sip and she laughs into my shoulder. "I have something I need to ask you".

She looks at me cautiously, "ok".

"What are you doing Friday?" I ask.

"Um, nothing I think. I've not been asked to work. Why?" She says.

"I want to take you somewhere, and then if you're up for it on Saturday...I was wondering if you'd like to meet my family?" I ask.

Ana looks at me, I guess she's wondering if I'm serious, and then she smiles, "I'd love to" and I grasp her chin and kiss her.

We end up spending the rest of the night making fun at some stupid TV show and she soon falls asleep, her hand suddenly resting on my chest. And for the first time, there is no pain.

 **I know the outburst might have seemed like wtf, but I had one the other day after reading an article about that poor girl in London who was beaten up by two guys and lost her baby. And it got me thinking about this little story of mine, and Christian is feeling this same anger, why does all this shit happen? A vulnerable Christian. And he starts rethinking every decision and action he has made. And then in regards to the disgusting things Elena has done. I wanted him to take into account his own actions.**

 **And oh oh my God I had an amazing review, or should I say a MIGHTY REVIEW lol! yup don't panic I am a girl so no offence taken. I'm so sorry for giving you such small chapters, I didn't realise how small they were until I looked on that preview page thing. This one is over 4,000 so I hope that's good for a min? I think the thing is, I like writing conversations and then I find it hard filling in the parts in between, like descriptions. Thanks for the awesome compliments, I'm glad you like it. If I'm honest I didn't even think anyone would read it, let alone give such nice comments, and follow my story, so thanks so much to you all :)**


	44. Chapter 44

**Hallo all! Here's my newest chapter, hope you all like it. Excuse the typos :)**

 **Chapter 42: APOV**

My back is killing me and my mouth is dry. Ugh I feel like crap...I remember Christian came over. I turn my neck and wince, how can mom sleep on this sofa, and then I see Christian sound asleep, drooling. I can't resist, I lean forward and take my phone off the coffee table and snap a picture. Haha the big bad CEO who drools! So Christian came over, I remember the wine and laughing. I see I have a message on my phone, I open it up and it's from my mom.

 **Thought I'd let you both sleep in. I'm going to go do some shopping and meet up with Bev. Have fun kiddo, and please be nice to the poor guy. Love you xx**

 **also I couldn't resist taking a picture, you both looked so adorable ;)**

And I open up the picture attached, me and Christian are sprawled out on the couch, my head and hand on his chest, he's cradling my head. Fuck! I touched his chest! The poor guy has issues with that and you just drape yourself all over him. I study Christian in the picture, he doesn't look in pain, in fact he looks content, it makes me smile, I wouldn't want to cause him pain. He's been through too much. So I let him sleep a little longer and go make myself some tea. Then I remember, oh shit, now I start to panic, he said something about meeting his family! Fuck! Really? Isn't that too soon? What the hell will they make of me? Aw shit, now I feel sick! I remember him saying that his folks had amazing jobs, and ok I've met Elliot, but not Mia the fashion designer! All successful people and then there's me...great. I can imagine the conversation over some fancy family dinner;

"So Ana what do you do for a living?" The parents will ask.

"Well Mr and Mrs Grey I work part time at a bookshop" oh I can just imagine their joy, and see the suspicion in their eyes. Broke girl dating their billionaire son, to them I'm probably just some gold digging leach!

"Oh, well where about do you live Miss Steele?" It's back to Miss Steel now cause they hate me.

"I live with my mom in the tiny house I grew up in, because I can't afford to move out, and probably the most expensive thing I own is my phone. And yes I have no savings, no ambition, no future..." I hold my head in my hands, my head is now pounding as I play out this meeting. I know me, I can't stand money in many ways. It makes me uncomfortable, and if I'm honest I'd prefer it if Christian was exactly to same but...poor? No wrong word, but with less money, because I wouldn't feel like such a fucking mooch! It's such a shame, I like who I am, yeah I have issues, but I like me, I've got a lot to offer as a person. And I like how relaxed Christian is with me, and I like to think that I help to make him laugh and feel grounded, but it's all ruined with the issues of money and position.

"Either you're suffering from a shit hangover or you're worrying over something" I look up and see Christian leaning against the doorframe watching me.

I flip him off and he laughs and walks over, leaning down on the opposite side of the breakfast bar so we are eye to eye.

My lips twitch, "do you know you drool in your sleep?" I ask and I lean over and point to the drool stain on his face.

"No I didn't know. But thanks for the information on my sleeping habits" he smiles though still keeping his eyes on me, trying to figure out what's got me so out of it. If I tell him about these anxieties he's going to call me silly and that I shouldn't think like that blah blah blah...but it's always going to be there! Eating away at me. How different we are! And then I think back to that bitch who attacked me, so pretty, so we'll put together, great clothes, you could tell she had money. Even her perfume smelt expensive. "Ok now you really need to talk to me" Christian says right behind me. Fuck I'm so out of it.

"I'm ok I promise" I try to smile, but the anxiety is burying deeper.

"No you're not. I've been talking to you for five minutes and you've not heard a word I've said" and he turns me around and lifts me onto the breakfast bar, "what's wrong?"

Bastard has me trapped with his intense look, "if I tell you you're call me stupid and that I'm over reacting and to get a grip" I can't keep the snap out of my voice.

"I might, but you still need to tell me" he's not budging.

I look away, "you said something yesterday...and it has me nervous"

His brow creases in concern, "what did I say?"

"You asked me about meeting your family" and he lets out a breath, knowing he didn't say anything offensive or mean.

"Ana that's stupid, that has you nervous...really...why? " He asks frowning and laughs.

Prick, he doesn't get it. I push past him and walk back to the living room and grab our glasses, distracting myself. He follows me though, looking confused as hell. "Ana what is it now?" His tone is full of frustration. I choose to ignore him, I'm hyper sensitive right now and he's not helping. But when I go past him he grabs my arm and pulls me back, "for gods sake Ana talk to me".

I jerk off his arm, "why when you're basically taking the piss out of me" and I go put the glasses in the sink and the wine bottle in recycling.

"I'm not taking the piss, I'm asking you a simple fucking question and you're giving me the silent treatment" his voice gets a bit louder.

"And I told you, I'm nervous to meet your family and instead of being the nice sweet guy I know and going "it's ok baby, don't be nervous, they are going to love you", you look at me like I'm acting ridiculous and laugh" does he not see how fucking terrified I am, how frightened I am that I won't get their acceptance? I can't imagine Christian not being in my life now he's here and the thought of his family hating me because I'm not good enough is making me want to puke!

Now he tugs at his hair, "I'm sorry ok, I didn't think I was offending you, but honestly you don't need to be nervous! I've met your mother and she even threatened me and I'm ok!"

"Well you did offend me! And yeah ok you met my mom, but how good of a boyfriend do you look in her eyes." And then I start ticking them off on my hand, "Good, stable job. Responsible. Comes from a good family. Well presented. Generous. The list goes on. And then there's me. You're family are going to ask me about my job, and what do I say; I've been through many shit job, been unemployed for a while, now I work part time. And then there's the dreading family question, and that's great because most of my family hate me and don't even want to know me. I don't own my own home! I don't have savings! I don't have a car, in fact I don't even have my licence because I failed to fucking stupid test by one point. And lets not get started on what the hell I would wear to impress the parents, because my last decent outfit I got was from the good will and that bitch of an ex of yours with the really nice perfume trashed it!" I didn't realise I was screaming and crying until I start to choke on my tears. Fuck it hurts. I can't breathe. Christian comes to my aid patting my back.

When I'm ok he takes my face, "firstly, what do you mean my ex? What did she look like?"

"Like me. But so much better" I sniff, "vivid red lipstick, chocolate brown eyes, really sweet perfume" then I wipe my nose with my hand, see I'm so unladylike, "why?"

He looks angry, quickly taking out his phone and I'm guessing texting someone about what I just said, "her name is Megan. She was my last submissive and baby I'm so sorry for what happened to you due to me" and now he take hold of my face, "you're right, I would call you silly and call you ridiculous for what you just said, because the truth is Ana I couldn't give two shits if you have no family, or you've had a string of shit jobs, or you're lost in life. That doesn't matter to me, because yes I've met plenty of women who have great jobs and come from well know families, and they don't have anything to offer me in comparison to you. You're a survivor Ana, you've struggled through life and it's moulded you and made you into a strong, stubborn, batshit crazy, amazing, compassionate woman, who my parents are going to adore, because I do"

And my lip juts out and I cry, bastard how did he manage to disarm me? "That's so sweet" I cry in such an ugly fashion making him laugh.

"I know, I have my moments" and he pulls me into his arms and I carefully place my arms around his waist, not touching his back. There's suddenly a knock at my door, who the hell is that ruining the moment? "Now if you'll come with me, we are not going to sit here and vegetate inside all day, I told you I had something I wanted to do" and he goes to open the door where that big buff guy Taylor stands with a bag which he hands over and leaves. "Now I have clean clothes and I need you to go upstairs and change into something warm because we will be going outside" and he spins me around towards the stairs and smacks me on the ass, making me yelp and run upstairs.

I throw on some black leggings and an oversized jumper, and throwing my hair into a loose braid I add a chunky scarf and my black trainers. I remember to grab some sunglasses and go brush my teeth and put on some deodorant. If I'm going out for the day I make sure my cats have plenty of food and water and I write mom a quick note and make my way downstairs. Christian is putting some stuff in a rucksacks, he looks yummy in a thick grey jumper, jeans and black boots. "I'm ready when you are" I say which causes him to look up and throw the bag over his shoulder. Walking towards me he holds out his hand which I take and we walk out the door. I lock it, asking him three times if it's locked, he laughs at me, I get so anxious when it comes to locking up my house. All comes down to this lack of trust in myself.

When I get into Christian's car I put on my seat belt as he gets in. As he plugs in his own I lean over and kiss his cheek.

"Not that I'm complaining, but to what do I owe the pleasure of that?" He smiles when we are face to face.

"Does a girlfriend need a reason to kiss her boyfriend Mr Grey?" I smirk.

"Not at all, but I think we can do better then that" and he runs his thumb over my lip while he inches closer until his lips hover over mine, then so gently his lips close on mine. Moving his hand into my hair he pulls me closer making me gasp and he deepens the kiss, his tongue exploring me, encouraging me. I grip onto his forearm for support and moan into his mouth. Pulling away slightly he takes hold of my lip and bites gently. Fuck! I have to hold onto the handbrake to stop myself from undoing my seat belt and attacking him. "That's much better" he smiles widely when he moves back to his seat.

"Much better would be car sex Mr Grey" I pout making him laugh as he starts the car.

"That's for later baby" he winks and pulls out into the street.

Christian finally turns into a airfield. Ok, where are we going?

As I'm debating the possibilities, Christian is by my side opening my door and takes hold of my hand. "Do you trust me?"

Oh shit what has he got planned? Come on Ana get some nuts why don't you! I nod and allow him to lead me into a building.

"Good afternoon Mr Grey" a tall skinny dark haired guy comes from around the desk and shakes Christian's hand.

"Jake, how you doing?" Wow Christian is being sociable, it's so strange.

"Doing good, weathers perfect, got a jump in this morning" Jake smiles excitedly and now it dawns on me. This is a skydiving centre! Holy balls! I've always wanted to skydive, it's been a dream of mine, but I've either had no money or no friends to come share the experience. This is insane! I'm so excited!

"Fantastic. Jake this is my girlfriend Ana Steele, she's going to be doing her first jump today...I hope" he then looks at me in a challenging way.

"Skydiving! That's what we're doing?" I need in confirmed before I scream with excitement and when he nods I jump him. "Really?" And again he nods. "I've always wanted to do this! Oh my God thank you for not be a boring bastard" which causes both men to laugh. Seriously, it's so had trying to find even a friend who likes to do crazy shit and now I'm blessed with having a boyfriend who is a secret adrenaline junkie.

"Well you're in safe hands Ana, I assure you" and Jake then proceeds with going through all the safety regulations.

When it's time to suit up my stomach is now in my throat and my heart is hitting the accelerator. I'm getting a bit scared, in a good way. Doing something terrifying with someone you care about, them sharing it with you...I've never had that before, it's nice. But when we take our seats in the plane and it starts to move, the panic mode starts to surface. Christian takes my hand to reassure me, my palms are sweating. But when Christian stands up and starts fluffing about with straps and harnesses I'm confused, shouldn't a qualified skydiver be doing that? Then taking my hand he stands me up and starts attaching himself to me!

"Wait, what are you do?" I ask, my voice is high.

"Well if I don't get us strapped up with a parachute then this fall with have a pretty bad ending don't you think?"

"But shouldn't a professional be doing this, and why are you joining us together? I like you and all but if I'm going to be jumping out of a plane I need to do so with someone who knows what they're doing" shit, I'm now freaking out.

"Ana I've been skydiving for twelve years, I trained to be a qualified skydiver when I was twenty one and I've been jumping solo and with family for many years now. Do you think I'd risk your safety?" He asks. Wow that's pretty cool! I shake my head and he continues getting us set up, buckling up my helmet. Eventually he walks us to the side of the plane where Jake is waiting and checking us over, I can see the opening where we jump!

FUCK!

"You ready for this baby?" Christian calls into my ear. It's so loud up here.

"Fuck! Look I know I piss you off but there's no need to throw me out of a plane!" I yell over the roaring plane engine! And he laughs.

"I'll fall with you" and he hits his helmet on mine. Do it Ana! I nod and Christian helps me towards the opening where my legs swing over the edge, dangling high above the ground.

Three

Two

One

Christian lets go of the plane and we fall. I scream as the skin of my face is pulled back from the force! As we fall Christian takes hold of my hands, intertwining our fingers and pulling them off my face and stretches out my arms, it's like we're flying, the air hitting me in the stomach, in a good way. Now I can't stop laughing.

"Ana I'm gonna open the shoot now" Christian yells to me and I give him a thumbs up. Though I want to fall longer, it's amazing! And suddenly the shoot is released and catches the wind and we shoot up before we start to float. "You ok?"

"I've never been better! Thank you so much!" I yell with a huge smile on my face. For twenty minutes we float in the beautiful silence. I'm terrified we will fall, but at the same time I don't want to land yet, it's amazing. My legs kick out beneath me, it makes me giggle. I can see Christian is aiming for a particular field, there's two cars parked in there. All too soon Christian tells me to lift my legs so he can land, and good thinking because my ass breaks my fall and we crash to the floor in a heap of laughter and the parachute. I hear in the background one of the cars ignitions, I guess they are leaving now their boss has landed.

"Was that good for you baby?" Christian smirks when he unclips me, we are still under the parachute.

I open my mouth to answer and nothing comes on.

"Wow...I've rendered you speechless, that's a first"

He has, I am speechless. No words can describe the feelings I have right now. Instead I take off my helmet, and I reach up and unstrap his, and I stroke his cheek before tugging him down towards my kiss. I'm erupting with these intense emotions, they are confusing the hell out of me, I am so happy, I've never been this happy ever. I need him near me, to show him how happy he has made me, is making me. Taking the hint Christian snakes his arms through the arch of my back, pulling closer. I can hardly breathe but I don't care, I want him closer. Christian rears up unzipping his skydiving suit and I unzip mine, the parachute tangling around us making me laugh hard. He takes out his arms leaving the suit on around his waist and he leans down and pulls me up our naked chests sticking together with sweat. Pulling off the parachute from us I'm hit with the cold breeze on my back and I gasp allowing Christian to deepen our kiss.

"I promised you car sex Miss Steele" he says against my lips, "and I'm a man of my word" and he stands with me in his arms and walks us over to his waiting car, placing me on the hood. In a frenzy I yank his suit off him exposing that beautiful body of his, and pull down his boxers. He's pulling my suit off and I lift my ass off the hood so he can take it all off. I really couldn't give a shit that I'm now butt naked on the hood of Christian's car, I want him and need him right now. He lowers me down and the cool metal makes me jump, but I look up at the sky I was just falling from, I feel euphoric as Christian lips roam my body. I'm so obvilious I don't even hear him go back to the car, I look up when he stands between my legs and waves the condom wrapper at me. My head falls back and I close my eyes as he sinks so slowly and gently into me, filling me and stopping. When I'm about to scream in frustration he pulls out slowly and thrust back hard, he grabs my hips to stop me from shooting off the car. And now he doesn't stop and I wrap my legs around his hips wanting him harder. My toes start to curl as my orgasm builds and then erupts violently. But he doesn't stop. Pulling out of me quickly he flips me over so my front slides on the hood and he smacks me on the ass before he plunges back inside me hard making me scream. His hands come around and he cups my breasts massaging then pinching my nipples, fuck I'm shaking so violently.

"Fuck!" Christian grunts as he thrusts even harder! Christ I'm gonna split in two!

I moan into my out stretched arm, I'm holding on so tightly my knuckles are white!

"Baby, don't stop!" I cry as I suddenly push up arching my back and come for the second time, I see stars! It's amazing. I flop down on the hood, Christian flops onto my back once he finds his release, sweat dripping off us both and onto the car. Our breathing is erratic. Running his fingers down my arm, I squirm when he hits my ticklish spot under my arm, and then back up. I love his touch. I never want to be without it, especially when he runs his nose down my neck and kisses behind my ear. "I really hope there aren't people hiding in those trees with some big ass cameras Grey!" He chuckles behind my ear and rises bringing me with him, wrapping his arms around me, covering my breasts.

"Well there is a bird watching place near by, it is a possibility" I turn and scowl at him. He better be joking or I'll skin his dick!

"If this ends up on the internet, I'll cut off you're balls and use them as paper weights" I threaten. Which makes him pull me closer and smile.

"Like I'd let anyone see you! You are mine pretty girl, and for my eyes only" and he starts to walk us to the car door, with him shielding me, like that will help now. But I don't care, I have the man I love wrapped protectively around me...wait what the fuck? Did I just say love? No way, it's too soon for all that right? Is that what that is though? This alien emotion that has been pestering me all day? The feeling of taking Christian's hand and jumping into the unknown and feeling vulnerable yet safe, frightened yet excited, knowing that either way I don't really care, just as long as I still have that hand to hold! I pick up my sweater and pull it over my head and look over as Christian buttons up his jeans...I've never been in love...I have no idea what it's supposed to be like to know if this is actually it! I could kill Christian half the time, we argue, we clash, yet we also compliment each other's personalities, sooth each other, encourage each other. Is that love? Ah fuck! I don't know, I'm confused. And I can't tell him, he'll probably freak out and be all "ugh what?!" like most guys. Keep it to yourself until you're sure Ana, you don't want to frighten the best thing that has happened to you by telling him you love him. Shit I said it again.

 **ooo so we have mention of the L word haha! I have to admit I was debating for ages whether to make them go gliding, but as much as I like gliding I wanted a different sport. Plus I've always wanted to go skydiving so I thought I'd put it in lol sorry to any hardcore skydivers if I got things wrong** **! Oh and I went paragliding once and we landed in a designated spot, in case anyone is like how the hell did Taylor know where they were landing lol! I also wanted some arguments in there, because every couple argues. Also I find it well weird at the moment writing sex scenes, I'm not prude, it's just weird for me hahaha so hope it's ok!**


	45. Chapter 45

**Hey ho good people, here's my new chapter. It's time to meet the parents. I have to admit I struggled writing this one, probably because there's no drama lol and secondly cause I'm ill lol! Anyway, excuse the typos :)**

 **Chapter 43 CPOV**

Ana has finally fallen asleep after our crazy day. I am glad she had fun today, I am determined to make her laugh and smile every single day, and though she could have freaked out at the idea of skydiving, she faced the challenge head on. All my life I've never once needed anyone, to hold my hand, to face fears with me, enjoy something with me. But with Ana, even the most mundane things seem so much better because I am experiencing them with her. Our date to the arcade cost so little, and that was fine, we didn't need to spend loads, it didn't stop us from laughing and having fun. I have always been so determined to make money, determined to create stability for myself, to never go without or go hungry again. But I was always missing something, something money could never buy, and that was companionship. I mean I'm a billionaire, I'm surrounded by so many people, but all that money and accomplishment didn't make up for the lonely empty ache in my heart. And I think Elena has always played on that, persuading me that the lifestyle was the answer, throwing sub after sub after sub at me to fill in the gaps. If my time was preoccupied by work or my subs then I didn't have time to look elsewhere for something better, something real that I actually needed. And I found that with Ana, because what's life if you have no one to share it with? And now I do, and I'm not letting it go. So once again I fall into a peaceful sleep, Ana's head on my chest, her arms holding my back.

...

I'm so glad I put my phone on vibrate, it's easier to ignore.

Apparently not, I stretch over to the nightstand in Ana's bedroom and grab my phone. I have loads of messages from my family. Ever since I texted my mom telling her me and Ana we're going to come and visit, the texts and calls have been flooding in. I wanted to ask Ana if she wanted to meet my family first, instead of arranging it behind her back, and I'm glad I did because she freaked out yesterday. Now she's ok and we managed to talk it through, I texted my mom and told her that me and Ana would drop by today. Christ it's only eight in the morning and already I'm still being annoyed by calls from my family, asking me if I'm still coming over with Ana this afternoon. Another reason I'm so glad I turned my phone on vibrate, I don't want to wake Ana, she's now sleeping diagonally in bed, her head on my stomach. I love the way she sleeps, it's so funny to find out what position I'll find her in. Playing with her hair I scowl at my vibrating phone which is annoying me yet again. It's Mia. For fucks sake! I answer.

"Mia it's 8am what do you want?"

"Wow you're in a mood! Did someone not get any last night?" She's mocks.

Oh if only she knew, "Ha ha your hilarious! And yes I'm in a bloody mood, I'm being bombarded by texts and calls from my family when I could be wrapped around my naked girlfriend, now I'll ask you again, what do you want?" I wonder what she'll make of that!

There's a gasp, ha ha. "Oh my god she's there, can I say hi?!" She screams down the phone, shit that bloody hurt!

"Bye Mia" and I hang up and lie back down, still stroking Ana's hair. She rolls onto her side facing me, her hand stretched out. I take her tiny hand in mine, and watch her, completely content. Shit why did I bother arranging a meeting with my family, we could have just stayed here in bed all day! I mean we have the house all to ourselves. Ana's mom left a note yesterday saying she was having some girls night with a friend, so when we came back from our adventure, we had fun christening her bed. And every surface in her bedroom. I smile at the memory.

 _"Ok Mr Grey since my mom isn't here, there is a situation you can help me rectify" and she tugs me up the stairs._

 _"And what might this situation be Miss Steele" I ask_

 _"The christening of my room" she grins mischievously and pulls me into a room. Holy shit, I knew she liked books but this is insane! Her room is small, with a double bed pushed up to the window, allowing the rest of the room to be monopolised by shelves stocked with so many books, and CDs and movies. There's also piles of books on the floor and spilling out of the small closet which makes me laugh. It's cluttered in a crazy Ana way, very snug and warm. I can imagine a younger Ana huddled in the corner of her bed drawing, listening to some eccentric band, drowning out the world. While the other girls went out and messed around with boys and makeup, my Ana found solace here._

 _"I think that's a job I can help you with" I grin down at her and I playfully push her onto the bed making her bounce and squeal. Throwing off my jumper as she takes off hers, I proceed to rolling off her leggings and panties and climb over her._

 _"Does this mean you will show me the infamous treasure chest?" I look down at her._

 _She bites her lip and shakes her head cheekily, "not yet baby. For now I want you, no add ons, no toys, just you" and I begin my journey South._

"Seriously Grey, how can you still want more?" Ana asks bringing me back to the present. Though her eyes remain closed, she is awake. I realise she's referring to my morning wood, the memory of us fucking like rabbits in this room and her naked body sprawled on me, has be ready and waiting.

"Of course I want more! When have I ever not when it comes to you?" I ask as I continue to stroke her hair.

"Good point" and now she opens her eyes and props herself on her elbow looking at me sleepily. "How long have you been watching me?"

"Too bloody long! I wanted to wake you up ages ago, it's not easy having a beautiful naked woman draped over you, but I didn't have the heart to disturb you"

She juts out her lip, "aw poor poor Mr Grey, have you been suffering?"

"The fact that my dick is nearly poking you in the head illustrates how much I'm suffering" I smirk as I jerk my hips slightly.

"Maybe I can do something about that" and she sits up and moves between my legs. I prop up on my elbows just in time to watch as my dick starts to disappear in her mouth. Fuck!

 **Later...**

"Christian Grey get your ass in here and help me!" Ana yells from her closet as I start to prepare my shaving gear that Taylor packed for me. When I enter the room, one of Ana's cats scrambles away as clothes fly everywhere. I enter the closet as a pair of jeans hits me in the face. "Shit sorry" I hear Ana huff.

"Anastasia Rose Steele!" I say sternly causing her to stop dead with an item of clothing ready to throw, "is this your way of telling me you need a new wardrobe? By throwing everything out?"

She scowls at me in just her bra and panties, "Good one Grey! But now is not the time for your Christian-ness, I am having a girly melt down here, which you are not allowed to make fun of later, because my bloody boyfriend wants me to meet his family and his girlfriend is fucked because she has no idea what to wear that says "hi, I'm the girl dating your son, please accept me despite the fact that I dress like a tramp and I'm not good enough"! Fuck I could really do with Kate's help, but no instead she's busy doing your brother" and she huffs, letting the clothes fall to the floor.

"If it's any help, Kate's actually not with my brother. He texted me earlier, he's pouting like a girl about it, she's with her family"

"What?! So I'm going there totally solo? No moral support" Her voice is high again, I shouldn't laugh. I really shouldn't. I know this is Ana stalling, but no way in hell is she bailing on me now! I'll drag her there in her panties, I really don't care!

"Well no cause I'll be there! Now take a breath and get dressed, I don't care what you wear baby, but you have twenty minutes to get your ass dressed before I come back and drag you outside" I fix her with a stare and go finish shaving.

I button up my black shirt when Ana walks into the bathroom, she looks stunning and embarrassed, in her white Capri pants and blue short sleeved shirt. "Is that good enough sir?" She challenges.

Deliberately I look her up and down and walk around her observing, then I frown, "I suppose" and she punches my shoulder and goes to run, but I catch her around the waist and throw her over my shoulder smacking her lovely ass. I ask if she has her phone, which she does and I head down stairs, grab her keys and head out before she can back out.

Once I've got her in the car I turn to her, she's still anxious, "Ana this isn't supposed to be a punishment, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"It's ok. I'm sorry, I know we dealt with my issues yesterday...it's just a little...old habits die hard" she shrugs.

Taking hold of her hand and bringing it to my lips, "Ana they are going to love you. I mean they already do and they haven't even met you. Apparently everyone loves the change in me and they can't wait to meet the girl who has captured my heart"

"Very romantic Grey" she whispers blushing. And I smile and start the car. It's true, maybe not the romantic part, I'm still learning there, but Ana has captured my heart. Or brought life to my stone cold non beating heart. She really doesn't understand what she's done to me! Believing it's just her who is effected in this relationship. She sees me as this perfect guy, yeah I've got a job, a home all that crap, but that doesn't make me perfect. I never used to just drop by my parents house, I was usually begged to come. Now look at me, I'm willingly bringing the love of my life to meet my parents, that's one hell of a step. And it's all thanks to Ana, for taking hold of my hand and taking the step with me.

I punch in the code to the gates at my parents house and we drive up the long tree lined drive. Ana is silent, looking out the window. It's a lot to take in, but it's still just a house.

"Holy shit" I hear her whisper when the house comes into view. And I pull up outside and turn off the engine.

"You ok?" I ask resting my arm along the back on her seat.

"My mom would piss her pants if she saw this. It's beautiful"

"It's just a house baby. Just four walls that we live inside of" I tuck a stray hair behind her ear. "Shall we?" And she nods, and I go around to open the door, taking her hand and leading her up to the red front door and I ring the door bell.

Gretchen the housekeeper opens the door, giving me an over the top smile, God calm down. She's never had much shame, crushing on me ever since she started six years ago. As we walk in my mom comes into the view, walking from the kitchen, a huge smile on her face.

"Ana this is my mom Grace Trevelyan-Grey, mom this is my girlfriend Ana Steele" I puff out proudly. Ana frowns slightly, I know she remembers my mom from the hospital, she has that affect on her patients. When they both shake hands I can see my mom is beaming. Yeah Ana's difficult to forget.

"It's so nice to see you again Ana, and a pleasure to actually get to know you now. I hope your nephew and sister are doing well?"

"Thank you. It's nice to seen you again to. I would like to say my nephew is doing well, but as a typical two year old boy with three older brothers, I'm afraid he's getting plenty of cuts and scrapes" Ana answers shyly.

"Oh I remember the terrible twos all too well" my mom chuckles, "and four boys, wow how does your sister cope with them, my two were hard enough" and she gives me a pointed stare. Yeah I was a little shit, always getting into fights.

Ana joins in laughing, coming out of that shyness a little, "my mom is a huge help to Izzy" it's funny Ana doesn't mention herself with being a part of the parental team. Does she not think her help counts?

"Well it's nice to see that families still look out for each other and help" my moms a firm believer in family, always being there for every little thing.

My dad now makes his way towards us with Elliot, who obviously doesn't need an introduction and pulls Ana into a blood big bear hug. I'm two steps away from slapping my brother around the head, but my mom playfully scolds him to release Ana.

"Ana this is my dad Carrick Grey" and he politely extends his hand which she accepts and he smiles down at her, "dad, this is my girlfriend Ana Steele" is it weird that it feels amazing to call her my girlfriend? What a chump you've become Grey.

Suddenly the front door is thrown open and Mia comes striding in looking around anxiously until she spots Ana by my side, a huge smile breaks out on her face and she runs over clapping her hands excitedly. Without asking permission, Mia pulls Ana into a back breaking hug.

"Oh my God he actually brought you here!" She squeals, "thank you for saving my brother from turning into some virginal Donald Trump disaster!" What the fuck?! Seriously?

"That was how you saw my future Mia? Some over weight guy with a combover? Thanks!" I rib her.

She pokes her tongue out at me, "well not anymore" and she turns back to Ana, "oh my God you're stunning!" Causing Ana to roll her eyes, "and she's so dainty"

"Don't let the size fool you" and I snake my arm around Ana's waist and pull her close to me, "she's tougher then she looks" and I kiss the top of her head!

"Awwww, I would love to be petite like you Ana, it would make finding a guy easier. I hate being taller then my guys" Mia pouts.

"Well it can be annoying when you need to get something from the top shelf. I have to climb on my cabinets all the time to get the teabags in my kitchen" it reminds me of the time I followed her into that bookshop and she was jumping to reach that book. Oh how time has flown by. As we laugh Gretchen informs us that lunch is ready and I lead Ana to the dinning room, hand in hand. As we sit I can see Ana relax when I inform her that everything is vegetarian, I know she'd feel stupid having to refuse certain dishes. She then raises her hand and strokes my cheek, causing my family to gasp at the tender gesture, and she mouths me a "thank you".

"So Ana tell us a bit about you" my Dad asks when we are all seated. I can feel the tension suddenly radiate off Ana and her posture has changed. Taking her hand I give it a reassuring squeeze. I wish my Dad wouldn't intrude as I know she's uncomfortable, but at the same time she has nothing to be ashamed of, and I want my family to know all about this amazing girl in my life.

"Um" and she blushes and laughs, "what would you like to know Mr Grey?" There's my challenging girl.

"Carry don't frighten the poor girl with the parent interigation" my mom can sense Ana's fear and smacks my dad playfully.

"I'm sorry Ana, I didn't mean to make you nervous" my dad looks chastised.

"Oh no it's fine, I just never know where to start when talking about myself" I know Ana hates having the spotlight on her, and I feel like a right prick bringing her here in a way, of course she'd be the centre of attention. I mean firstly my family thinks I'm gay, then a virgin, so the sight of a girl on my arm is sure to send them into a frenzy.

"Ok let's start with...family. Where are you and your family from?" I know my Dad means well and isn't trying to catch Ana out or upset her, but I am shitting myself thinking of all the emotions running through her from that simple question.

Taking a deep breath she starts, "I was born in Maine, I have an older sister called Isabella, who has four boys. My mom used to be a nurse before she was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, and I never met my father" she spills out.

It hurts to hear the truth come from her lips, the slight change in her voice when she mentioned not knowing her father. I know my parents would never criticise, after all they adopted all of their children from families who didn't want them, "That's such a shame, your mom must be a strong woman to raise you girls alone. That takes great strength, being a single parent" my dad praises. It relaxes Ana.

"Thank you" she blushes from the compliment, "she's the strongest woman I know".

My dad gives Ana a warm smile, "well she's done a remarkable job. After all, it takes a strong woman to tame our Christian, and you my dear must have a endurable strength to put up with him and his moods" and he gives me a wink. I would make some kind of comment at that remark, but let's face it, I wonder why Ana puts up with me half the time myself.

"So Christian, you never did tell us how you two met?" Thank God the conversation moves off Ana, she already seems more at ease. I can't tell everyone that Ana pretended to be Kate, so I go with our second meeting.

"I was in the bookstore in Elliot Bay and I saw this petite girl jumping and stretching to reach a book on the top shelf, so I decided to put her out of her misery and help. I don't know what disarmed me more, those beautiful eyes, or the fact that she scowled at me for coming to her aid?" I smirk at Ana who playfully glares at me.

"I wasn't that bad" she defends herself.

"Oh I beg to differ baby, you wouldn't even give me your phone number because you thought I was some crazed serial killer" and everyone laughs.

"Well you've got it now, I guess you proved me wrong" she laughs at me.

When the main course is brought through, Mia starts bouncing in excitement, "Oh Ana I'm having a birthday party soon, just a few friends-" Elliot coughs.

"I don't think a couple hundred people is classed as "just a few" Mia" Elliot laughs at Mia. She's terrible, she invites anyone who is anyone. I get it, it's for the connections, but Christ it's ridiculous.

"Anyway" and she flips off my brother causing my mother to scold her, "I'm having a party in two weeks, it's a masquerade ball and I'd love for you to come".

"I'd love to Mia, thank you" she accepts, I start planning the possibilities of taking her shopping. She will look stunning in a evening gown, and I know just the right mask.

"Oh Christian I ran into Elena yesterday" oh fuck me no! " and she said she's been trying to get hold of you to discuss the business?" My mom looks at me for my answer for this rudeness. I can feel the tension radiate off my dad, being true to his word, he hasn't told my mom until we have a solid case built.

"I've been busy and of course spending time with my girlfriend" I know that will soften her up and stop her questions. And it does and she gives me a wink and the conversation goes back to more pleasant topics. Thank God, I can't deal with this Elena bull shit for a minute. I've been avoiding her like the plague, not just because of Ana, but I know if I see her now knowing what she's been doing, I might end up in jail.

"Hey Christian" Elliot then chirps in, "I met that new guy Sawyer the other day. He's a cool guy, we shot some hoops the other day. You should join us" Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I try not to tense and make Ana suspicious but I can't help it. Within twenty minutes two people who I hope Ana doesn't find out about have been mentioned. Kill me! Kill me now!

"Maybe" and I take a sip of wine. Fuck I wish I wasn't driving, I could do with another drink, something stronger.

 **later...**

"thanks so much for bringing Ana" my sister whispers as I hug her goodbye, "I love seeing you happy" and then she moves on and grabs Ana squeaking about shopping and lunch and girl crap. I can imagine Ana cringing at the idea of shopping, it makes me chuckle.

My mom hovers by the door, I walk over to say my goodbye when she leans forward to kiss my cheek. I take her by surprise and hold her in my arms, causing many gasps throughout the room. My mom suddenly bursts into tears and I cradle her head as she timidly moves her hands to my back, making me jump only slightly.

"I've waited so long for this Christian" she cries into my chest.

"I'm so sorry I made you wait mom" I rub her back.

And now she looks up at me, eyes flooded, "it was worth the wait" and I kiss her forehead and release her. She then strides over to Ana and hugs her hard, Ana is a little in shock. "Thank you!" I hear my mom tell Ana.

 **Awww we so the family have been met lol but there are little hints at the trouble soon to come. Also I had to have the masquerade ball, it was my favourite part.**


	46. Chapter 46

**Haha ok sorry this is a small chapter. But I thought I'd throw another one out there. Excuse the typos :)**

 **Chapter 44 APOV**

 **a week and a half later...**

"Excuse me miss" an elderly woman asks as I'm busy stocking the shelves at work.

"Yes, how can I help you" I smile politely.

"I was wondering if you had this book" and she hands me a piece of paper with the title and author, some typical gardening book, "I can't see it on the shelves and was wondering if you could check if you have it in stock or if I could order it"

"that's no problem, give me two minutes" and I walk with her to the counter where I check the system and locate the book.

When I go back to my task I see one on the books on the floor. It has a piece of paper poking out. I take it out and inspect what it says.

 **It's that easy to get close to you**

What the fuck?! I look around and find no one. What's that supposed to mean? And all I can think about is that psycho Megan, the Christian obsessed bitch! Shes still hounding me, waiting for the right moment. She's not going to get to me, she had a lucky shot the time she got me in that alley, but I'll be ready and waiting the next time she wants to play.

I stuff the note in my pocket, she can't scare me. Besides she may want Christian back but I'm not about to let that happen. I'm not giving up on the guy I love because of some threat! Yes I know, I said love. Ever since last week I've been debating this feeling, is it love? Am I ready for that? Do I want that? Maybe it's just that we have great sex, and I'm still new to all this, and that's what's got me feeling like this? But who am I kidding? Yes I can't deny that physically when me and Christian are together it's like a nuclear blast, it's so intense! But after we're done, it's not like I can't stand him as a person or we don't talk, in fact we talk for hours about the most random crap. We laugh. We argue. And it's amazing. I've never been so vulnerable and exposed in front of anyone, not my family, not Kate, but with Christian he's seen me cry, sob, scream, puke, battered, bruised and he's still remained with me. I've been waiting for him to finally give up and leave, and before I would have been upset but because I would have expected it, I would just move on. But now it would break my heart, the heart that's just started to beat, and I would fight to stop that from happening.

So game on bitch!

 **...**

I finally finish my shift and go to take out my phone to text Christian, it's been a crazy week since I met his family. I've been working a couple of extra shifts, which is good cause I really need the money, but it means I haven't been able to see Christian as much. God could I sound more like a needy girl in love? But despite not seeing each other we have talked nearly every day, even if it's a quick text. And of course we've discovered the joys of sexting. It's not easy to have phone sex or Skype sex when you're mom's in the next room, or knocks asking if you want a cup of tea, so sexting is amazing.

I'm just unlocking my phone, when suddenly some jack ass on a bike knocks into me, fuck that hurt! I go to face plant the floor when a strong set of arms grabs me and pulls me back. Who the hell is that? I'm suddenly sat on a bench and this big beefy guy has hold of the motherfucking cyclist giving him shit. I look at this guy who saved me, he looks familiar. Tall, well built, short hair, fuck it's the guy from the bus stop. Why is he here?

"Are you ok ma'am?" My rescuer asks. Who the hell says ma'am?

"Yeah, I'm ok. Stupid bastard, I can't believe he drove into me?" Well he got my leg that was about to walk forward. But still it hurt.

"It's ok he's been dealt with" he informs me. How? Who is this guy and what does he mean dealt with?

"How?" I ask curiously.

"Please don't worry about that, let's see how that leg is doing" and he asks permission to check my leg injury. I wince slightly, I have a cut in my trousers and a cut. Nothing too major.

"I'm fine I promise" I say as I go to stand.

"Ma'am I think it would be best if you sit for a minute" he instructs.

"It's ok honestly it's just a scratch" seriously I've had worse, much worse.

"Ma'am please I insist" his tone is stern.

I sigh, "fine if you insist" and I assess this guy. Who are you?

"I'm Ana" I stretch out my hand, which he takes. Firm grip.

"Sawyer" he tells me. Do I know a guy named Sawyer?

"First or last name?" I ask.

"Last ma'am" military then. They usually call each other by their last names, don't they? Why would a guy, military type background be taking the bus? I know it's not a crime, but it seems odd to me. And that name Sawyer, where have I heard it? It's bugging me. And why does he keep calling me ma'am? Don't employees call their employers that? Sir and ma'am?

"Nice to meet you" I say frowning. This guy is concerning me now. He's been following me, saved me, treating me like he works for me with all this ma'am crap...Fuck, that's where I've heard the name, Elliot said something about some guy called Sawyer he played basketball with. That means nothing Ana, this guy happened to be hanging around with Elliot...he said "you're new guy" though. Oh please don't say that...he works for Christian. Shit! Balls! Crap! He's a fucking security guy! That's why he was on the fucking bus, he was following me, he was assigned to me! I mean he just so happened to be close enough to pull me back from falling into the road and getting run over? Unless he knows where I work, what time I finish! I'm going to kill him! He didn't think to tell me!

"Are you sure you're ok ma'am?" This Sawyer guy asks. I narrow my eyes at him. Ana it's not his fault, the poor guy is doing a job, don't bite his head off, save that for your crazy ass boyfriend!

"Outstanding!" I smirk at him. "Tell me Sawyer, how long have you been following me?"

"Excuse me?" He tries to play dumb! Yeah like that's going to work pal!

"I asked how long you've been following me?" I ask again, folding my arms waiting.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about ma'am." He replies. Well he's a military guy, he's probably used to withholding information, even if he's being tortured.

"Ok let me rephrase it. How long have you been working for Mr Christian Grey?" I cock my head.

He gives nothing away. But his silence answers my question.

"Right. Well you can relay a message to your boss." And I bend down and get right in Sawyer's face, "tell Mr Grey to go fuck himself, because I'm not" and I get up and leave. Fucking stupid men! Christian Grey, you bastard, I fucking love you, but right now I don't like you. And I storm off in the direction of the bus stop.


	47. Chapter 47

**Hallo, here we go guys. I like this one, it made me laugh writing parts, or maybe that was just the wine :/ any way hope you like and again excuse the typos :)**

 **Chapter 45 CPOV**

Thank fuck today is over! Scratch that, this week has been insane! I've had back to back meetings, Taylor has informed me that Megan Stevens is MIA, I finalised the deal on two new companies and to top it off we've made progress in regards to Elena. I finished up the meeting today with my dad and his man Brian Murphy a private investigator. It seems Elena has her sights set on two new prospects. Last week a boy, aged sixteen was admitted into hospital due to suspected domestic violence. As well as a girl, aged fifteen, she was admitted due to a failed suicide attempt. Both vulnerable. Both frightened. Both under age. Both perfect candidates for Elena. She's sizing them up, she can see they have little to live for, no one who cares, but she will, she will show them she can give them power, a way out, something to take away the pain of reality. And of course these two will fall for it, I did, and she will show them great pleasures. They will feel loved and cherished and will worship Elena for helping them, and then suddenly she will hurt them, beat them for coming too quickly, beat them for not keeping quiet, beat them for ever questioning her. They won't bite the hand that fed them. No, soon they will be moulded and shaped into perfect submissive. As they are the newest victims, Brian and Dad thought it would be best to focus on them first, and are having them followed and monitored. We need to catch her in the act or have a testimony from one of the kids, and if they are anything like I was, there was no way I was going to hand over my mistress.

So yeah it's been a crazy week, both good, bad, productive, stressful and it hasn't helped that I haven't been able to see Ana! I could really have done with my girlfriend this week to help relieve the stress and allow me distance myself from all this shit, so I can just focus on Ana and I. But no, I've been working late and Ana's taken on a few extra shifts at the bookstore, so by the time she's finished and with her crazily demanding family she's tired. And I know this job means a lot to her so I can't tell her to quit. She doesn't need the money, but she will probably kick me in the balls if I tell her that, and I wouldn't like that, especially since they are the size of fucking watermelons! Christ I need to see her! There's only so much wanking, and phone sex can do, and right now I need to bury myself deep within her!

There's a knock at the door, for fuck sake! I was just making a mental list of all the things I have to get ready for my visit to Miss Steele, this better be good! "Come in!" I snap.

Taylor enters with a small package, "Pardon the intrusion sir, but this just arrived for you. It has been scanned and checked and is safe" and he walks over to my desk and hands me the package. If this is what I think it is then I will forgive the intrusion. And I start to unwrap the package and finally lift the lid on the white box, I smile at the contents.

"Thank you Taylor, that will be all" and he leaves. And I carefully removed the delicate black lace mask from the box. It's stunning. With a thick black trim, the mask is simple and beautiful, like the woman who will be wearing it. I know Ana's going to go apeshit for me buying her a dress and I have a feeling that she's taken on extra shifts in order to buy something. But I don't care, I've got it sorted and I now have the final piece. The dress I chose was delivered a few days ago and is hanging in my closet ready for Ana, it's not the typical glamorous evening gown. I decided to play with the theatrics of the event and I found a black lace ball gown with a full skirt. My girl will look divine, showcasing those slender shoulders, the colour will make her skin luminous and highlight the stunning blue of those eyes. And of course there's the underwear, I couldn't forget that! Since the dress has a corset I found a very...very nice garter belt, lace panels with sheer panties...which happen to be crotchless. Fuck! I'm so desperate to blow off the rest of the afternoon and kidnap Ana, or at least get her to partake in a extra round of phone sex until I'm finished. I'm about to dial her number, I know she finished her shift, when my computer alerts me to an email. I'd let it slip for now but I see it's from Welch.

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **From: Peter Welch**

 **Subject: David Kingston**

 **Mr Grey please find attached the information you required on Mr David Kingston. If you need any further information please contact me.**

Fuck! I've got you you bastard! And I'm about the click on the attachment when there's yet another knock on my door! Damn it! "Come in" I'm pissed again. But I faulter when I notice Sawyer being escorted by Taylor! Fuck, what's wrong? What's happened? Is Ana ok?

"Sir, Sawyer has requested a moment to discuss Miss Steele" he asks.

I gesture to proceed, "of course, is anything wrong?" I direct it to Sawyer, but fuck is he giving anything away!

"Sir, this afternoon I was continuing my shift in watching over Miss Steele. Her shift was ok, no problems from what I've seen. However-" I cut Sawyer off.

"Firstly Sawyer, is she ok? As in not in the hospital or been kidnapped?" I'm not interested in the rest, just the fact that she's ok!

"Miss Steele is presently at home, I witnessed her enter her home. However, I need to inform you of an incident."

"Continue" I say my hand gripping the edge of my desk, I hope I don't break it!

"When Miss Steele was walking to the bus stop she was struck by a passing cyclist-"

FUCK! WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS PRICK NOW?

"- rest assure sir I pulled her back before any real damage occurred and I checked myself she has a rip in her trousers and small cut, nothing else. That isn't the issue though-"

Oh spit it out! Good god prolong the fucking agony!

"- as I was assessing Miss Steele and making sure she was ok and she began asking questions"

The colour drains from my face Oh shit! "What did she ask?"

"How long I had been following her-" he answers.

Fuck! She knows! She's not bloody stupid Grey! How long did you think it would be before she noticed some huge guy following her? Ah shit, she going to be going apeshit...I pinch the bridge of my nose and Sawyer continues.

"When I told her I didn't understand, she asked me how long I had been working for Mr Christian Grey"

Oh well that's just fucking marvellous! Wait, it's ok, she might be annoyed, but then there's been no texts or phone calls. I bet she's fine...I pray to god she's fine with it, or my night is well and truly toast.

"I see...what was her temperament like Sawyer?"

Now he looks uncomfortable. Ok that's helpful!

"For fuck sake Sawyer spit it out!" Get to the fucking point! Can I salvage this or not?!

"She seemed annoyed and she wanted me to relay a message..." And now he looks to the floor.

Waiting..."and? What was the message?"

Sawyer huffs knowing he can't escape this, "she told me to, "tell Mr Grey to go fuck himself, because I'm not"".

...

...

...

"I see" is all I say, my face now resting on my steepled hands, "that will be all" and both men leave.

Well that just totally came back and bit you on the ass Grey! You should have just bloody told her! Now look at what's happened! She told you to go fuck yourself and she hasn't even sent some angry message, she's now ignoring me. Fix it! Prepare your blue balls for another night of self service because if I know Ana, and I do very well, you ain't getting any tonight.

 **The next day, still CPOV**

Damn fucking frustrating woman! I sent a text first to test the waters...no reply. Fine play it that way. So then it was the phone call...straight to voice mail. I start to tap, breathe Grey. Emails came next, they were our first form of communication, hopefully that will strike a cord and she'll stand down...but no.

So today I try again, fuck you Miss Steele if you really think I'm going to put up with this tantrum. I text again, nothing. Email again, nothing. Phone, nothing. House phone, her mom said she's in the shower. Ok I get she's annoyed, I get it, my bad, I'm a total wanker, but answer the fucking phone! Then I smirk at the phone, ha have this then. And I dial her number again. Then hit redial. I do this for ten minutes, and I've managed to do some work while I redial, I know this will be driving her insane! Frustrating isn't it Miss Steele?

"FOR FUCK SAKE CHRISTIAN STOP FUCKING CALLING ME!" She yells down the phone and hangs up. And I burst out laughing! So I text her.

 **Not until you grow up and talk to me**

And I know that will piss her off even more. I'd rather have an angry Ana then a silent one!

 **I swear to God Grey you may know everything about the female anatomy but you know sod all about the female mind. Being ignored means You've upset me, I'm trying to cool off before I throw a fucking chair at your face. So please just give me a minute while I try to understand why my boyfriend failed to let me in on the fact that I had some security guy following me!**

I don't do waiting! I tug at my hair! Can't we just have some angry sex and get over this? No shut up Grey, that's just the sexual frustration talking, give her time to calm the hell down and then we can deal with this.

 **Fine! I'll give you until tomorrow, not a moment longer!**

I need to go for a run.

 **Still CPOV...three days later.**

The phone answers, "hello?"

"Hi Carla it's Christian, is Ana around?" Luckily her voice doesn't show signs of hostility.

"Yeah darling, she just got back from work. Do you want me to get her for you?" Ha I've got you now Miss Steele!

"No don't worry, I was actually wondering if I could swing by, I've got a surprise for her" I tell her.

"Aw that's so sweet. I'll make myself scarce and let you kids have fun" her mom suggests. Good, I don't think this will go down well with an audience, especially if we are both yelling at each other.

"Thanks Carla, don't let her know I coming though" I ask.

"No problem, bye Christian" she says cheerfully

"Bye Carla" I hang up and smirk.

 **...**

"Ana open the bloody door" I bang on the door. I know you're in there Miss Steele.

After a few minutes of banging she snaps, "Fuck off!" She shouts back.

Good luck with that, "I don't think so!" And I continue banging.

"Christian go away!" She shouts sounding upset.

"Ana I can easily break down the door and replace it, so open the bloody door!" I can easily have it done within the hour, your mother would never know.

The door is flung open and Ana looks pissed off, "What?"

"Oh so you are alive and kicking?" For fuck sake

"No shit! I think me telling you to fuck off illustrated how alive I was" she glares, I love it!

"Why the hell haven't you been answering my calls? Texts? Emails? I get you're pissed off but let's be adults about this and talk." I say.

"I don't want to talk right now, I'm still annoyed." Stubborn girl!

"Fair enough, but you're going to talk to me and we can either do it here for the neighbours to hear or we can do it in the privacy of your home! You choose, I couldn't care less!" And I don't, even though I can see the curtains from next door move.

Reluctantly she opens the door and gestures for me to come in. I walk towards the living room. When I hear the door close I turn around and address Ana. "Right I'm going to say this once and once only! If you're angry at me, you talk to me! None of this sulking around, pouting, ignoring, silent treatment bullshit! I've been worried sick!"

"What so now you're concerned about me? You weren't thinking of my feelings and how freaked out I might be having some guy following me?" She bites back.

"Of course I am concerned about you, that's why I hired a security guy for you! You are vulnerable, and you do stupid things when your angry. Do I need to remind you of the time you took off alone and got drunk just to prove a point?"

She blinks back at me, hurt, I know that was a low blow, "You're never going to let that drop are you?!"

"Nope!" Letting the 'p' pop just a little too much, "It will be a constant reminder of how bloody reckless you can be! I've told Sawyer, he's aware of how you react to certain things!"

"Oh you bastard, so you're just going to throw that in my face whenever I piss you off?!"

"I will if you keep treating me like this!"

"Like what?" She's exasperated.

"Like however the fuck you want! I get you were annoyed when you found out about Sawyer, but you could have come down to my office, shouted and screamed at me there and got this over and done with! Instead you drag it out, ignoring me. I mean don't consider my feelings or anything!" I yell.

"But you didn't consider mine! Look Christian I get it ok, you're over protective and bat shit crazy with security, and with all that's happened I can understand you wanting the extra security. What's annoyed me is that you didn't tell me. And I'm not one of those girls where you need to tell me everything, but when it comes to me and some guy following me around, then a little heads up would be nice please!" She looks a little deflated now, I get it, it's the lie that hurt.

"Fair point! I should have told you about Sawyer, but you wouldn't have agreed to have security in the first place. You'd get on your fucking high horse and be all "I can take care of myself, how dare you make out I'm a damsel in distress"" I mock her, putting on a high pitched haughty voice.

Her eyes narrow and her chin juts out, "I don't sound like that!"

"You bloody do, and I'm right aren't I? You wouldn't have agreed to security would you?" I know I am, any help makes her feel weak.

"I would have" she says quietly

"No you wouldn't" I laugh humourlessly

"How do you bloody know?" The tone goes back up.

"Because I know you like the back of my hand! You're a stubborn pain in my ass, and there is no way you would accept someone watching over you. So cut the crap, you wouldn't have agreed, hence why I just went ahead and set it up!"

She pulls at her hair annoyed, "You still should have bloody told me! If it's to do with me then I have a right to know. How do you think I fucking felt? I was terrified when I first saw that Sawyer guy, thinking he was following me and thinking all sorts of crap about what he would do to me. So yeah you can stand there and be all "I'm right you're wrong", but after all this bullshit you should have told me to settle my mind. I know you did this with good intentions, but I'm still fucked off with you."

"That's fine be fucked off, I don't care how you feel, Sawyer will still be there watching over you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it was wrong of me, especially after what you've been through recently, and then to have some guy following you might have freaked you out. But you are the most frustrating woman I have ever met, you make my blood boil with your tantrums and quite honestly I'm having to hold myself back from spanking your ass raw for ignoring me and making me worry. It's not an emotions I've had experience with until I bloody met you."

Now she stops, I've hit a nerve, I think she's going to cry, fuck Grey! "Well I'm not far behind wanting to beat your sorry ass for keeping important things from me. So touché to you pal! And if I'm such a fucking pain in the ass whose ruined your life then go! There's the door! Bye now!"

That's what she does, push upset away instead of dealing with it, "Oh you're not pushing me away that easily Miss Steele, you're stuck with me now, even with your crazy PMS mood swings. So no, I'm not going, I'm here to fucking stay because despite all this I fucking well love you!" Shit I actually said it! It's been bubbling away for a while now, this strange emotion and I've been trying to ignore it, not seeing myself able to love after my bullshit past. But there's no denying it, I love this woman! She drives me insane! But I wouldn't have her any other way. This is the woman who makes my mundane life worth living.

"What the hell?!" She screams at me!

Not the reaction I was looking for, "I said I love you! Do I need to write it down!" Christ it's like I'm talking to the fucking wall! Did she not just hear what I said? Don't woman cry or something when the guy declares his love, not yell at them!

"Oh really?" Hand on her hip and she looks at me bobbing her head in frustration.

"Yeah really?" I say like I'm talking to a kid, saying each word slowly.

"Well you know what! Fuck you!" She throws her arm up, pointing at me, "I love you to!"

"Well good" Holy fuck, she loves me!

"Good" she says right back.

"Fine" I say

"Fine" she answers.

And now we just stare at each other, waiting, breathing heavily, waiting for the other to break.

"You better kiss me or something you bastard" she chokes out. And that's my cue and I stride over and grab hold of her face and kiss her. She loves me! I can't believe it! And I push her into the wall hard, her arms wrapping around my neck, pulling my hair viciously. I grab hold of her thighs and lift her, her legs wrapping around me, squeezing me, pulling me closer as we worship each other. I pour everything into this kiss, savouring every inch of her with my tongue, my hands, I can't get enough of her and I still want more.

I break away briefly making her frown slightly, and I look at those beautiful eyes, wide and longing, "I love you Ana"

Her eyes light up with the smile she gives me, and her hand raises to caress my cheek, "I love you Christian" she whispers so tenderly.

"Don't frighten me again!" I beg her.

"Don't lie to me then!" She pleads back.

"Deal" and she nods back.

 **Aw we have mention of the "love" word haha! Thought it would be fun to have them yell it at each other. I'm not much of a hearts and flowers girl, so this was amusing for me :)**


	48. Chapter 48

**I thought I'd give you guys some angry makeup sex lol I like how crazy and aggressive they can be as well as sweet and playful, unlike before when everyone is brooding in the corner and being all serious. I want to move forward and play with the masquerade party, I've got some drama coming there. Also, to the guest** **reviewer:**

 **what is this "f*** off" s***, nobody says f*** off, there is pissed off or f*** mad, but f*** off sounds ridiculous. Did you make up that saying? It's dumb, stop saying that in the story.**

 **Clearly you've never seen the film _Snatch_...and no thank you I will continue to use it. **

**Anyway, I hope you like this. Also excuse the typos :)**

 **Chapter 46 APOV**

Did he really just say that? No, I must have been hearing things, I mean come on, we were just screaming at each other? Surely declarations of love are sweet tender moments? I'm so confused. I get why I'm in love, he's amazing. But why the hell would he love me? I'm a cantankerous stubborn bitch, who basically told him to leave if he can't handle this, and yet he told me he loves me? I was so angry that he lied to me and didn't tell me about Sawyer watching me, and in a way yeah I wanting to punish him, show him how frustrating it is when he's doesn't talk to me and tell me things. But it backfired. I was miserable, I missed him so much. And here he is, telling me he loves me and showing me he wants me. I guess he really is here to stay Ana. Please don't let this be a cruel joke!

I try not to let this negativity ruin the moment. In this moment I love him, he loves me, I've missed him like crazy, despite wanting to hit him, and I'm desperate for his touch. I want more and I want it now. I rip open his shirt, and the buttons skater everywhere.

He carries me towards the stairs, but as we make it up four steps, it becomes too much and we fall down onto the stairs. I don't care though. I need him now! He rips off the thin leggings I'm wearing, as I reach for his trousers and tug open his belt, then pull down his zip. Viciously I free his erection and take hold of him, making Christian moan into my mouth, I pump and squeeze him a few times. But fuck the foreplay! He doesn't even bother to remove my knickers, he just pushs them to the side and then I feel him at my entrance, I'm ready. But then he stops. What the fuck?! He fumbles around with his trouser pocket, patting, looking for something. Oh I get it. I take his face in my hands.

"I started taking the shot" I want to feel him, no barriers between us. And without saying a word he grabs my hips and slams into me, sending my head flying back as I scream in pure ecstasy. Burying himself deep inside me over and over again. He lifts his leg higher on the step to get leverage and starts thrusting harder, I grab his hair and secure him to me as he hits that sweet aching spot inside me. My head bangs on the step and I'm probably going to be covered in bruises tomorrow, but I don't care. And then he lifts me slightly and I brace myself with one hand on the banister, holding on for dear life. His hand then roughly pulls down my baggy jumper and exposing my bra where he bites the swell of my breast!

"Fuck!" I scream, the pain felt incredible and it spurs me on, "harder!" I beg and he complies as he suddenly lifts me up and throws us into the wall, making the pictures shake. I'm so close, but I don't want this to end! A weeks worth of frustration and anger is being pounded into me. I want so badly to claw at his back, but I don't touch him, I won't hurt him like that. Instead I latch onto his shoulder and mark him like he did to me, tasting the tang of blood from the bite.

"Damn it Ana" he grunts and captures my mouth, I can't take no more. I explode violently, my back arching off the wall. Holy fuck! Christian yells something into the side of my neck and we collapse to the floor. Both trembling, still connected.

"I love you Christian Grey" I pant, resting my cheek on his. My lungs are killing me, it's like I've sprinted twenty miles in the blistering sun. I can't get the air into me fast enough.

Stroking my back Christian kisses behind my ear, "I love you too Anastasia Steele". And I can't help the girlish giggle that escapes my lips. He loves me. I don't think I'll ever get over the overwhelming flutter in my stomach whenever he says it. "Well, I have to say" now he looks at me and shakes his head, smirking in astonishment, "as far as angry makeup sex goes...I'd fight with you any day woman for another round of that".

Anytime Grey. Anytime.

"You do realise if my mom walks through the door right now, I'm blaming this on you" I laugh and very awkwardly, that we nearly fall down the stairs, we untangle ourselves and stand up, supporting each other. And collecting the shredded clothes we head upstairs.

 **...**

Luckily my mom hasn't returned, because this would have been so embarrassing. She took off to see Izzy, not long before Christian turned up.

"I have a present for you" Christian says from on top of me, kissing along my shoulder to my neck, making me shiver.

"I don't need gifts Christian." I say as sweetly as I can so I don't annoy him. I don't want his money, I just want him.

"Yes but in a way this gift benefits me too, so I guess we get to share" he grins mischievously.

"Ooo, ok now that's got me intrigued" I can't help but melt at that grin, it's adorable.

"Oh no Miss Steele, it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you. But I know you're going to look stunning in it", and his eyes skate up and down my body making me hot with that predatory look.

I frown though when I figure he's gone clothes shopping for me. Oh fuck, clothes! I don't want him spending money on material items for me. Why would I need expensive clothes anyway?

"I'm sensing you've forgotten" he challenges. What have I forgotten? I do have the memory of a fish sometimes, "my sister's birthday event thing".

"Oh shit!" He's right I did forget, "I didn't forget really, I brought her a gift, I just forgot the date".

"Well that's why I'm here, because I happen to have found you something to wear. So no more Ana-freak-out-girly-throwing-clothes-moments, it's all covered" I chuckle when I remember that freak out, he got a pair of jeans in the face that day.

"You didn't need to buy me an outfit, I could have found something" it might not have been designer, but it would have been something. "So do I get a clue as to what this ensemble looks like?"

Christian purses his lips debating, "I'll give you two details...one, it's a dress. And two...it's black. And that's all I'm telling you. You can find out when you come to my place to get ready"

"Oh I'm coming to yours am I?" I ask. And he kisses me gently, teasing me with soft kisses.

"Yep" and then he deepens the kiss, teasing me with that devilish tongue, his hand skating down my side, "now I think it's time you show me this box Miss Steele. I'm dying to find out what dark secrets you have in there" and then I take him by surprise and I roll him over so I straddle him, holding down his hands. Luckily this move hasn't upset him, I know he's stronger then me and could easily thrown me off him, so he's trusting me as I hold his hands back. And I lean down, he lifts his head thinking I'm going to kiss him. Instead I lean down into my bedside drawer, and pull open the bottom drawer and lift out my box.

"Help yourself Mr Grey" and I place the box next to him. I know it doesn't rival his playroom, but still, he can see what I like. And he shifts so he can sit up and he cocks his eyebrow as he lifts the lid. And then his eyebrows shoot up in surprise, I suppress a laugh, his expression is priceless. It's funny, yes before I met him I was a virgin, but that didn't mean I didn't like sex. People always think that just because you're a virgin you are automatically some church going, repressed recluse! It's trust issues I've had, that's it, sex is a pleasure I've never denied myself. I have just chosen to keep it between myself and I.

"Well, I had no idea what a little sex crazed freak I was getting involved with" he mocks.

"Says the guy with a room larger than mine, dedicated to his sexual appetite" I laugh.

"Quite a pair then aren't we?" He rummages through my toys. "Oh I think we can do something with these baby" and then he pulls something out and frowns. "Why haven't I seen these before" and I blush like crazy as he twirls around his finger my crotchless panties. I hold my face in my hands and laugh, nearly falling off the bed.

"I don't know actually. But that box is for me, I like the wear them from time to time, it makes me feel sexy." I shrug.

"So no one has seen you in these?" His eyes narrow slightly, and his jaw tenses. Ooo jealous Christian!

I lean in and smirk, "Only me". And then he takes them and places them on the side.

"And me, soon. But not now, I have plans with something else in this box" and he takes out my vibrating egg, it's got a long lead and a remote. I brought it recently and tried it out during my many sexting sessions with Christian, already my breathing changes at the sight of it and I bite my lip to suppress a moan. Then he looks at me cautiously, "do you trust me?"

"Yes" I answer.

"You know I'd never hurt you right?" Fuck where's he going with this?

I gulp, "yes".

And he pulls out the satin ribbons, "I want to restrain both your hands and feet, it will make this more intense. But I need you to believe that if you tell me, I will release you, I'd never take advantage of you being restrained Ana" I told him that was a huge fear of mine. And it is. I need to know I can escape if I need to and being tied up takes that freedom away. But I don't want to escape Christian, he's never hurt me so far. He slightly restrained me with those pearls, which were easy to break, but still he respected me. You should trust the guy you've fallen in love with Ana, have a little faith. Besides when you saw those ribbons they had exciting possibilities, now I get to try them out with my boyfriend.

"Ok" I whisper.

And he steps off my bed, taking the box and setting it down, taking the quilt and pillows and placing them on my chair. He keeps asking if I am ok, when I nod he asks me to lie down, face up. I try to calm my breathing, both with anticipation and fear. It feels better doing this in my room, I'm so comfortable and at ease in my own space, but my breath catches when he circles my left foot with his finger. I nod to reassuring him and he delicately wraps the satin black ribbon around my ankle and ties it to the end of my bed. It doesn't hurt. And then he proceeds to my right, spreading my legs wide. Holy fuck, this is going to be intense. Then he straddles me and kisses me gently, his hands lacing through my hair. "Just lie back and relax baby" but the fear still remains, "I swear I'd never hurt you" and I trust him. I lie back and try to stay calm, and he stretches my arm to my head board, kissing up the inside of my arm and then wrapping the ribbon around my wrist and securing me to the bed. When he proceeds to the final arm I close my eyes and try to focus on the feeling of his body, and not on the bad ideas that frighten me when it comes to being restrained. Focus Ana.

But behind my lids I can feel the build up. I try to blink back the tears, but it's no use. I'm frightened, the memories of... _him_ come to mind. Don't Ana, please don't ruin this.

"Baby look me" and I do and I see Christian, it's Christian Ana, it's not _him_. You haven't seen _him_ in years, he's not coming back.

"I'm ok. I promise. Take away the fear please", take away the bad memories Christian I beg silently.

And he doesn't say a word, but the look on his face says everything. It says _I love you_. And ever so gently Christian begins to touch me. His strong hands cherishing me. His touch is chasing away the fear. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of his hands on me. My breathing starts to accelerate as his hands get lower, and I buck off the mattress when he traces over my clit with a feather like touch. And then his fingers begin to tease me, running up and down my folds until he gently inserts a finger causing me gasp. Rotating his finger, he stretches me, stroking the walls on my vagina.

"Ah" I yell out when he adds a second, and cups me, palming my clit. I want to close my legs for some relief, but I can't, I'm at his mercy. But when he eventually releases me I lift my head in frustration. "What the hell?"

But he just smiles down at me as he sucks his fingers, my eyes pop out! And then he grabs the egg and shows me before leaning down and slipping it inside me. My head falls back as I prepare myself, and the egg starts to vibrate slowly deep inside me. And once again Christian traces the lines of my body with his lips. When he reaches my breasts he increases the speed inside me as he takes my nipple in his mouth.

When I start the squirm Christian murmurs against my skin, "how does that feel?" And he runs his tongue over the bite mark he left earlier and turns up the egg, the sting makes me clench, holding the egg tighter.

"Oh my God!" I moan towards the ceiling. Damn! I never thought my breasts were that responsive, but in the hands of Christian Grey, holy shit!

And then his one hand let's go and trails South where he pinches my clit and rubs it gently.

"Fuck, please untie me" though I don't say it in distress. I need to close my legs, I need some relief, there's too much going on.

"Just feel Ana, I told you I wouldn't hurt you" and then he turns up the speed and kisses me, swallowing my moans! It's driving me crazy, but I'd kill him if he stopped. And he doesn't, and I am building up to a climax that's threatening to rip me apart. With one hand rubbing me furiously, and the egg turned up to the max, Christian sucks hard on my bite mark and I'm done.

"Ahhhh!" I scream as I shoot off the bed like something possessed, I'm surprised Christian didn't get thrown off. I tense with the pleasure coursing through my body, that I don't notice Christian has untied my hands and taken out the egg and has braced himself on his elbows beside my head. My vision is blurred and I'm sweating so badly, and then I feel him, ever so slowly taking me to the hilt. His moan is strangled as he sets a gentle rhythm. And I have no energy to hold back and I absorb every powerful thrust, feeling my body shake out another intense orgasm. Fuck! I hold onto his arms, enjoying his body weighing me down and pushing into me. He's getting closer, he is breathing erratically into my neck and his control is slipping into quick hard thrusts. I don't care though I'm ready to detonate. And with one last hit I explode, screaming out his name, while he pours into me.

"Jesus H Christ woman" Christian pants into my neck as I stroke his hair, "you're going to be the death of me". I just smile and continue to hold him, loving the feeling of him here with me. I get I'm a lot to handle, my mood swings reflect my insecurities and fears...but please don't leave me Christian.


	49. Chapter 49

**Hi all, sorry I haven't updated yet, I just got back from one of my bestest friend's wedding. So as you can imagine, loads of traveling, drinking, hangovering lol and more travelling. But I hope you like my new chapter, the big masquerade scene. My biggest one lol. Excuse the typos :)**

 **Chapter 47 APOV ...the day of Mia's birthday party.**

"baby I'm still in New York, these bastards are wasting my time" Christian is frantic on the other end of the phone. He had to go to some meeting in New York the day after we made up.

As much as I want him back, for selfish reasons, he needs to calm down, "Christian it's ok, seriously, I can meet you there! I've got my mom's car!"

"Anastasia Rose Steele that's against the law you know, driving a car when you don't have a license" he says sternly down the phone.

Yeah like that's stopped me before Grey, "I'm aware of that Mr Grey, but you wouldn't tell anyone would you?" I say sweetly.

"Your secret is safe with me. However, I'm going to have Sawyer come by with your dress and he will bring you to the venue. I'm so sorry Ana" he apologies again.

"Christian it's ok please stop fretting, I can ask Kate if I can go with her and Elliot, plus she needs to help me with my hair, I'm hopeless with the whole glamour thing" I say.

"Why don't I send someone over and help you girls out, my treat" he offers, trying to make up for his absence.

"Babe stop, take a breath, I'll give Kate a ring and ask her ok? And then we can have a catch up before Elliot turns up, ok?"

"Ok, but let me know if you need my help! Mia's party starts at 8:30, and I should be there at 8:45 if I come straight from the airport" he says.

"Cool, text me when you're on your way" I ask him.

"I will, be good, and I'll see you in few hours" he chuckles.

"Have a safe flight..." And I blush like a total girl, "I love you".

He laughs at the end of the phone, probably knowing that I'm cringing, "I love you too baby" and we hang up.

Right now I need to talk to Kate.

 **...**

"Mom are you going to be ok tonight?" I have my bag ready for Kate's. Luckily she has agreed to let me invade her place for a few hours and steal a lift with her and Elliot.

"Of course, I am forty eight Ana" my mom scolds.

I kneel down to look her in the eye and I rest my arm on her knee, "Still I have prepared dinner and it's in the fridge, I've left instructions on how long it takes in the microwave, I've also got potato and leek soup for later if you're still hungry. And since I love you, I made some lavender ice cream."

She reaches out and strokes my cheek, "Aw sweetheart you didn't need to do all that, I would have been fine".

I lean into her hand and hold it, "Yes, but I know you and if I didn't cook for you, you'd either not eat or have toast and that's crap"

"Thank you honey"

"And plus I got you a bottle of wine to have a fun night in with and there's some new movies on the TV that I've recorded for you" I wink.

"Ana you don't have to worry, now go and have fun. But you've promised to FaceTime with me when you're ready at Kate's, I want to see you all dressed up" she asks.

"Of course I will, but I can still stay if you want?" I offer.

"Go! Now! But remember to ask Christian ok?" Oh shit she remembered!

I look down at the floor, embarrassed to show her my anxiety, "Really mom? I get it, he should meet you and Izzy properly, but I'm frightened with him meeting the boys."

"Ana stop it" she narrows her eyes at me, knowing all too well what's going through my head, "that boy loves you, and you love him, so stop waiting for the end!"

"I just don't want them to get attached. It's hard enough that I feel like this and have doubts and fears, but the boys wouldn't understand, they are just kids. If they got attached and it went wrong, they'd be devistated and think Christian abandoned them, and that would hurt me even more" I answer truthfully.

"Baby, please don't stress. This is supposed to be a happy time for you, enjoy it"

I nod, "I will mom. I'm sorry, I'm trying so hard"

"I know baby girl" she takes hold of my chin and leans in to rest her forehead against mine, "I just don't want you to end up alone, like me. Don't push him away because you're scared"

"Thanks mom, and there's still time for you to have some fun" and I give her a wink.

"Who knows, maybe Christian has a hot uncle" and we both laugh. "Go! Have fun girlie." And she shoos me off.

"Have a good night mom, I love you" I tell her as I grab my bag.

"Love you too kiddo".

 **...**

"So chick, how's it going with the younger Grey brother, is he playing nice" Kate asks as she pours me another glass of wine.

It feel like ages since I talked to Kate, what with work, my family and now Christian, I haven't had my Kate fix. I know she's been the same, her job is demanding and I'd never ask her to sacrifice her time with Elliot. I love that she's happy, she's such an amazing person, she deserves this. "Well, um, we've..." Again I feel so shy and flustered when I go to mention the fact that I love him, I feel so silly in a way.

"Ana you're blushing like crazy, you can always talk to me, don't be embarrassed. So what's the big thing that's got you shy, are we talking anal-"

I spit out my wine everywhere, "for fuck sake Kate! No! Uh! That's where you're mind went, really?"

"Says you who asked me if I needed to visit the clinic for suspected STIs!" And we both break into fits of laughter, "so...what have you both..."

My eyes scrunch and I bite my lip, "he told me he loves me"

"Ana! Oh my God! Really? What happened, was it really sweet and mushy? Did you say it back?"

"No, it was the most unromantic moment! We were arguing, he forgot to mention that he had assigned a security guy to me-"

"-seriously? That's like creepy stalker behaviour there Steele!" Kate frowns.

"I know and believe me I was so pissed at him for it! Anyway so I ignored him for like three days, and he came banging on my door! So we had this huge fucking blow out, screaming at each other, and he said how basically I'm a total pain in the ass and he's never been so frustrated until he met me." Kate looks annoyed, "so you can imagine my reaction, I basically told him if he didn't like it then to fuck off."

"Good for you Steele, stand your ground!"

"And then he surprised me and stayed. He didn't leave, he said how I'm stuck with him and yeah I'm a moody cow but he's not going anywhere because he loves me!" I break out into a huge smile.

"And?"

"I was in shock! I thought he was taking the piss, he couldn't love me after arguing with me like that! But he said it, and I-" and I laugh at the memory of my declaration, "-I said fuck you! I love you too".

"awwwwww that's so frigging adorable!" And then she has a sneaky look on her face, "I bet the makeup sex was amazing!"

"Oh" and I take a sip of wine remembering the rough and raw session on the stairs, I've still got the bruises as a delicious reminder, "it was. Now, enough about me. I want to know all about the man occupying you" and with that I put down my wine and grab a brush and start brushing Kate's hair before I start to curl it, while Kate gives me all the gorey details.

 **...**

When both hair and makeup is done, we both leave to put on our dresses, ready to surprise each other. I haven't peeked at the dress since Sawyer delivered it, but I did see the mask, it's perfect. There are three boxes on the bed in Kate's spare room, I leave the mask until last and go for the biggest one, probably the dress. Wrapped beneath the protective paper I gasp in shock as I lift the dress from the box.

"Oh my god" I can't help but smile as I hold up the lace black bodice, and the layers of lace that make up the full skirt. If I ever had the money and girly gene to buy an evening dress, it would be something like this. He knows me so well. I'm so glad Kate helped me put my hair up, I can show off my shoulders. With matching black heels, I proceed to the final box, what else have you got planed Mr Grey? And I lift the lid and my breath hitches. Oh so that's your plan? And I take out the black garter belt, it has intricate details on the lace panels, and I run my finger down the nude stockings, it's so soft it's like butter. And then I notice something that have my blood pumping, my finger runs across the seam of the panties, crotchless panties. So this night will be very interesting.

Having finally slipped on my underwear, I step into my dress and pull it up to my chest. Shit! I need help lacing this thing up.

"Kate?!" I yell.

"Yeah?" She yells back.

"Any chance you can help lace this up?" I yell to her.

"Be there now babe!"

There's a knock at the door and I call her in, "you can't look though" I laugh as she enters, "We have to put on our mask and stuff to give each other the big ta-da!"

"Ok, ok, I'm squinting, I can't see anything" she says and Kate starts to pull hard on my laces. Fuck!

"Shit Kavanagh! Any tighter and my tits would come out my back!" And Kate rests her head between my shoulder blades snorting and laughing. And she continues to pull, a bit more gently, allowing me actually breathe!

"Ok you're done, I'm gonna go grab my mask and I'll meet you in the living room in five minutes!" I hear Kate yell over my shoulder.

I turn back to the bed and try to get used to being all squashed into this cage around me, I then take hold of my mask and walk steadily over the the floor length mirror. I take a deep breathe and turn towards the reflection.

Holy fuck!

That can't be me...I'm not usually beautiful. But the woman looking back at me...she's luminous. Running my hands across my collar bones which are being showcased, I continue down, feeling the fabric flow between my fingers. I lift the skirt slightly and find myself spinning with a huge smile on my face. I've never felt so beautiful, so worthy, and it's all thanks to Christian. Kate did such a great job with my hair, it's swept back into a wavy up do, highlighting the gentle grey and silver makeup which make my blue eyes vivid. There's just one thing missing, I place the mask over my eyes, tying the ribbon to secure it.

Perfect.

"Holy shit Kate" I scream when I enter the living room and see her, she looks incredible. She is a vision in her teal green halter neck dress, which pulls in at her tiny waist and flows out beautifully. Again, like me, I'm so glad she wore her hair up, it shows off the sexy cut in the back. Elliot will be pissing his pants when he gets here, oh shit in like twenty minutes. "You look stunning!" I bounce in excitement, hard to do in a full skirt.

...ok I'm not one of those girls who have to have everyone fawn over her, but Kate is just staring at me! Do I look that ridiculous? Is my boob hanging out? Say something, please for my sanity and ego!

"Ana" and her voice is a whisper and she presses her lips together, "you look so beautiful" and she looks like she's on the verge of tears. I go bright red and then to shake it off, it's hard to believe a compliment is true. "Seriously, Ana. I wouldn't let you go out there and embarrass yourself in something hideous...but you really do look beautiful, believe that"

"Thank you" and I give her an awkward hug in my huge tent. "Oh shit before I forget, I promised my mom I'd quickly FaceTime her, she wants to see how stunning we look" and I grab my phone and call my mom.

 **...**

The buzzer then rings.

"Ah shit that must be Elliot! Shit he's bloody early!" Kate makes her way over to the door and Elliot sweeps her into a passionate kiss, looking very dapper in a tux, his simple black mask resting on top of his head.

"Hey Ana...holy shit! You look gorgeous, my little brother is gonna cum in his pants as soon as he sees you!" He laughs still holding Kate, who smacks him around the head. "What? I was paying Ana a compliment!"

"Thank you...I guess" I frown and then slap him on the arm and we make our way down to the waiting car. I pull out my phone and text Christian to let him know we are on our way.

 **Hey babe, just wanted to let you know that Elliot's turned up and we are now on our way.**

And then I bite my lip remembering his gift and add.

 **The thought of you in a tux and a mask is making me wet...damn I must remember these panties are crotchless. Love you xx**

I lock my phone and damn now all I can think of is Christian in a tux...fuck! I close my eyes and rest my head back allowing the image to take over, when my phone suddenly buzzes.

 **Well I knew you'd look stunning in that dress as soon as I saw it. But I'm thinking the reality is going to be much better then the fantasy and I will be needing easy access to you ;)**

 **We are just loading up and we'll be ready to go, love you xx**

 **...**

 **I here, Ana where are you? x**

I frown at my phone, we are stuck in traffic! It's now 8:55pm. I text him back.

 **We are stuck in traffic, we are close, shouldn't be too long x**

I hope.

 **...**

It's now 9:00pm and thank god we are here. Elliot and Kate exit the car and he helps me out and gives me his arm and we all walk in together. Thank god I need the support in these heels.

"Miss Steele!" I hear someone yell behind us, and we turn to see the driver waving, "Miss Steele wait, you forgot this!"

I look at Elliot and Kate, "Go on guys, I'll meet you inside" and I walk back over to the car.

"Sorry ma'am" the driver looks strangely uncomfortable, but he then hands me my phone, "you forgot this". Stupid Ana! I thank him and turn to leave, great now I have to power walk in these heels! All the time telling myself over and over again, DON'T FALL!

Entering the lobby of the hotel I look around in distress, shit where the hell do I go? "Excuse me" I ask a guy at a desk, "I'm looking for the Grey event?" And he smiles and points me in the right direction of the ball room.

Don't fall!

Don't fall!

And then I go through a pair of double doors and holy fuck...this is insane! The room is incredible, it's like the scene from the Labyrinth, it's magical. Everyone is wearing masks and stunning outfits, there are pearls and jewels dangling off chandeliers! But then I stop in my tracks...there's a huge staircase! Oh my god, how the hell am I going to get down there? Is there no elevator? Oh my god, I start to panic! I'm in this huge dress, scary skyscraper heels and I've got to get down there, with everyone watching!

Bollacks!

Deep breath Ana, you need to get down there!

So I walk forward and take hold on the banister firmly...now is not the time to reminisce about the sex session on the stairs Ana, you need to focus. I gulp and hold my dress and take a step, one down 29 to go. Just breathe Ana, and I keep going, very steadily, trying to look relaxed and poised, not on the point of shitting myself! Damn, stupid car guy making me go back for my phone, I could have had Kate and Elliot for support. And then I have to find Christian! A guy in a tux in a mask, in amongst hundreds of people in masks!

I start to laugh when I reach the final step, and then reach land! Yes! I do a small fist pump in celebration, I don't care if anyone sees, that was like climbing Mount Everest for me! So now I join the masked party goers, grabbing a flute of champagne from the waiter, and letting my eyes search for Christian or Kate. I'm anxious now, I've downed my champagne and given my glass back and I'm still alone. It isn't long then though before I finally feel a pair of strong hands on my waist and lips at my ear.

"I was right, the reality is much" and he tugs on my ear lobe, "much, better then the fantasy" and I break out into a huge smile and turn in Christian's arms, "you look breath taking pretty girl".

I can't help checking him out, and wow he doesn't disappoint. Butt naked or in a full blown tux, damn this man is beautiful! And I take hold of the lapels of his jacket, "you scrub up very well indeed Mr Grey." And I whisper in his ear, "can we add masks to your playroom collection please?"

"Absolutely" and he takes hold of the back of my neck and pulls me close, kissing me hungrily. "Come" he says when we break away, "dance with me". And I take his hand and we walk to the dance floor, where we sway to some upbeat song, not caring about all the other guests gyrating. I can't do much but sway in my dress, and luckily Christian doesn't seem to mind, I just love the feel of being in his arms. I feel so safe and loved as I rest my cheek on his shoulder. We continue like this for loads of fast pumping songs.

"Ana! You came!" I hear my name, I lift my head and see a girl running towards me. I'm guessing Mia, since it's pink and very feminine! The full skirt is pink, dark at the bottom and lighter towards the top where it works into the lace top. Her mask is white with mesh and feathers, she looks beautiful as she runs towards me and pulls me into a hug.

"Thank you for inviting me" I say as she squeezes me, and then I hold her at arms length, "you look stunning"

"Aw thanks, you look incredible to Ana!" And she hugs me again, "right give me five minutes, I've just gotta go and say thanks to everyone, mom's making me" and we laugh, "and then I'm gonna come back and hang out".

And with that she's gone. Christian just rolls his eyes and pulls me back towards him, I wrap my arms around his neck and the music speeds up. Taking hold of my hands, he pushes me out and pulls me back in, making me laugh. I fall into step with him as we twirl around the dance floor, giggling like a couple of kids. Then he spins me, my skirt twirling, and he pulls me, my back to his front and we sway from side to side, his lips at my neck. When he spins me out again and pulls me in, he dips me and yanks me up roughly into his chest.

"Let's go somewhere" he whispers, it sends shivers down my spine. I bite my lip and nod excitedly. Hand in hand we leave the dance floor, I look behind me and giggle, wondering if people have noticed us leave. When we get into the lobby Christian takes me in the direction of the elevators, we say nothing, but once inside he lunges for me. Trapping me against the wall I grab hold of his hair and kiss him, not caring if anyone gets on with us. His hands hold onto my hips, gripping my dress, pressing me into this confined erection. I think I hear a not so subtle cough in the elevator, but nothing can pry me off the guy I love. But when the doors open I look up and see an old couple looking disgusted and shaking their heads at us, I burst out laughing.

"I think we gave them some entertainment" Christian laughs against my lips.

When we finally reach the top floor Christian takes my hand and leads me to his room, of course it's the presidential room, I smirk at the sign on the door. When he opens the door he pulls me close, kicking the door closed.

"I've missed you" he says against my lips and he pushes me against a wall in the hallway, not even bothering to make the journey to the bedroom. Not even bothering to take off our masks or clothes. We are both frantic, I hike up my huge skirt and he undoes his trousers. And then he bends slightly and his hands go under my skirt and grabs me and lifts me, I hold onto his shoulders. Taking hold, he positions himself and slowly sinks into me, my head rolls back on the wall, I need him so badly.

"I've missed you too" I moan, as he pulls back and grinds back in, "so much".

"You're coming with me next time, I hate being away from you" He grunts between steady thrusts. And then his grip tightens on my ass and he starts to pound into me furiously. I brace my foot on a table behind us, pushing myself on to him harder, meeting him thrust for thrust. Damn I love this man!

"Fuck! I'm close" I scream towards at the ceiling.

"Nearly there" he begs and he speeds up. And he captures my face and kisses me hard, moaning into each other. I wrap one leg around him, pulling him in and I explode in a delicious toe curling orgasm. Christian continues to slam into me, then finally finds his release, screaming out my name.

"Thank fuck! I needed that" he presses his forehead against my, still inside me. "It's your fault, looking so damn beautiful"

And I laugh, "I blame the crotchless panties" And he releases me and we hold each other, allowing our breathing to slow. Once we've adjusted our clothes, he takes hold of my hand, bringing it to his lips and we go back down to the party.

 **...**

When we get back I got to say hi to Grace and Carrick, who also gave me a hug. I love watching Christian hug his parents, the emotional response gives me goosebumps. After more fun on the dance floor, we go in search of champagne. And then Christian introduced me to some people, people who I don't think I'll remember, especially with all the champagne I've consumed. But he'll to it, I'm having so much fun!

"Babe, I have to pee. I'll be right back" I tell him and leave him talking to Elliot and some guy, who I think is called Michael, but it could be John. Shit, stop drinking Ana. There are some girls in the bathroom doing their makeup, they look at me sympathetically when they notice my tent of a dress.

"Good luck" one of the girls say.

"I think I'll need it" I laugh back.

"It was the same at my wedding, I had a huge dress on, it took three friends to help me pee" the same girl tells me.

"Aw damn this should be fun then" and they smile and leave. Shit, maybe I should have got Kate to help me.

Screw it.

When I'm done the bathroom is empty, so I wash my hands and check my makeup is ok behind my mask, when the door suddenly opens. A mature blonde woman in her late fifties comes in, wearing a very low cut dress showcasing an impressive cleavage, which I can tell has been purchased. Taking off her large dramatic gold mask, with large black feathers around the top, she reveals the results of much more work, no one looks like that at that age! Why can't people just grow old gracefully? I smile at her in the reflection. But frown when notice she has locked the door. What the fuck?!

"So you must be Christian's new girlfriend?" She says a bit too sweetly and crosses her arms.

"Yes." And I smile, "yes I am"

"Oh how sweet" she sounds disgusted now, who is this woman?

"I'm sorry who are you?" This is getting stupid now!

"A very dear friend of the family. And a business partner of Christian's" she over emphasises the partner a bit too much.

"Ok then" and I go to leave, but she places her hand on the door.

"Christian values my opinion very much you know?" She challenges.

"Good for you, now if you'll excuse me I want to go back now" and I nod towards the door which she is blocking with her hand. Move bitch or I'll move you! Be polite Ana, stupid cow is probably drunk.

"My opinion of you Miss Steele is very low and we need to do something about that" she sneers. What?!

"Well I couldn't give a shit about your opinion, and if you're supposed to be trying to intimidate me or something then you've failed" I cross my arms and smirk at her. Stand your ground Ana.

"Oh dear, I don't intimidate you?" She smiles.

"Intimidating? Lady you are about as intimidating as a fart" and I rearrange my mask, "now if you'll excuse me" and I go to push past her hand, but this plastic bitch now steps in front of me.

"Oh I don't think so, we haven't finished getting to know each other" she smiles at me.

"I'm sorry who the hell are you?" I laugh humourlessly, why do I want to know this person? Or hear another word come out of her mouth? I'm guessing she's some crazed cougar who has weird fantasies about Christian and is taking it out on me.

"Oh someone VERY important in Christian's life" she smiles wickedly. What the fuck does that mean? "Oh he hasn't told you about us?" Then she laughs, "I guess he didn't want you know how close we are". Fuck! I think I'm going to puke now! Please don't say she means what I think she means? So this freak got a taste of him then and she's bitter and wants more. But ugh, she's in her late fifties, despite the plastic, you can tell she's not ageing well underneath it all.

I'm starting to burn with anger, my jealous side has made an appearance. He's mine, bring it on you demented granny, "Or maybe he failed to mention you because you mean fuck all? I wouldn't want to mention my association with some dried up old hag, I'd be very embarrassed" take that bitch!

"Or maybe he doesn't want to admit that it's my face he sees every time he fucks you! Or that it's my name on his mind when he cums! You are nothing compared to me, I used to make that boy scream! You and Christian are nothing compared to what me and Christian had." Oh Jesus they did have sex then, I didn't want to hear the words. I know he had a past, but I've now encountered yet another ex and it is making me sick. "Now why don't you take the fucking hint and leave! You're not good enough for him! You're just some broke, useless, ugly little thing that no one wants...not even your own family want you!" She spits back at me! Ouch, she just threw out my worst fears, the one Christian has been trying to convince me isn't true. But this is the second ex to tell me I'm not good enough. Both of them are glamorous and well kept. I'm not.

"Excuse me?" I hold back the anger tears.

"You heard me. You're just a pity case for Christian. This raggedy mutt-" She laughs, looking me up and down. Laughing at what she sees, I start to true red in shame, "-whose own father despised her!"

"You don't know a fucking thing" I yell at her! What the hell does she know about me and my fucking father?!

"I know he's still alive...well for a minute!" She shrugs, smiling wickedly. The colour drains from my face. What does she mean? I despise my father, but I've always wanted to meet him, tell him what I feel. Knowing that he was out there somewhere, hopefully alone, made me feel great. But what does she mean he's alive for a while? "Oops did I say too much? My best guess is three months or so to live! You know give or take, the odds of throat cancer aren't high".

"What?" My voice is a mere whisper. My lip is starting to quiver. She's got me.

Now this bitch curls over laughing hysterically. "I thought you had more fight in you?! Megan told you put up a fight, you caught her with an elbow I believe, yet here you are...pathetic. I really don't see the fascination Christian has with you, it won't be long though before he comes crawling back to me. He always has done, you never forget your first" and then she theatrically wipes away a tear of laughter and adjusts her dress and hair and then leans down by my ear, "It was lovely meeting you Anastasia Steele".

The door slamming shut makes me jump. There is no feeling in my body, I collapse to the floor from my emotional beating and I cry. What was that? She destroyed the only bit of confidence I had, she's right I'm just some broke, ugly mutt! And then all that crap about my family not wanting me, she's right, they don't want me! Why don't they want me? If they don't, why would anyone else want me? I cry harder, my heart is splitting. My father, the guy I truly hate for hurting my mom is dying, how the hell am I supposed to feel about that?! And then she knows Megan! Megan the psychotic slut who put me in the hospital, she knows her, probably set her on me! Why does everyone fucking hate me? What the hell did I do to deserve such cruelty from these people? My heart shatters, painfully into sharp shards which pierce me. I can't breathe!

"Oh my god" I hear Kate from somewhere, "Ana honey what's wrong? What happened" And she gets down on the floor with me and pulls me into her arms, allowing me to sob into her chest.


	50. Serious note

**Ahhh I just lost a chapter! How the hell did I do that! Crap! Ok I'm lost chapter 44 where Ana discovers Sawyer! And it's been replaced with 43! Hold the phone I'm gonna try and fix this!**


	51. Chapter 51

**Phew crisis over I found my lost chapter lol sorry I realise now that must have been mean, leaving on a dumdumduuuum moment and then posting an author note! Sorry lol! Now I've become addicted to writing this story, I like how Ana is the moody one, not Christian. I think it's natural for our emotions to leave us in a tizzy. I also secretly loved writing Elena in the last chapter, she's such a bitch haha.**

 **Ugh though why is it that when Christian in the original FSOG was all hot and cold it was sexy, but when Ana is hot and cold it ticks people off? I mean come on the poor cow is an insecure wreck who tries to be tough to protect herself, but when someone just keeps kicking and kicking, yeah you go down. But will she let Christian help her up or will she run? Hahahaha  
**

 **Chapter 48 CPOV**

Where the hell is Ana, this guy George who Elliot introduced me to is boring the hell out of me.

"Christian it's so nice to see you" I hear the voice which makes my balls quiver in fear. Shit! Who the fuck invited Elena? Then I see my mom next to her all pal like, fuck!

"Elena, I didn't know you were invited" I try to be nice for my mom's sake, but damn it I want to throttle her.

"I invited her" my mom raises an eyebrow in warning. She raised me better then that.

"Mom have you seen Ana? She went to the bathroom ten minutes ago and I haven't seen her" changing the subject so I don't have to talk to the she-devil!

"Um no I haven't darling, I can go check if you want?" My mom asks. No don't leave me with it!

"Oh yes please, I'm dying to meet Christian's new girlfriend" Elena purrs a bit too sweetly. What's that supposed to mean? Like hell I'm introducing the woman I love to you, fuck she might catch something.

"Maybe another time" I shut her down and ask Elliot if he wants a drink while I wait for Ana. Five more minutes and I'm going in myself, I don't care if I get attacked by angry women. As I place my order I notice Kate coming up to us looking frantic. Fuck! What happened?!

"Christian I need your help" she pulls me aside.

"What's happened? Is it Ana? Where is she?" Anything else I can handle, but not Ana.

"I found her in the bathroom, on the floor. Christian she's breaking her heart-" Kate has been crying as well. What the fuck happened? Who the hell upset her? I'm furious!

I go to storm off and find her when Kate stops me, "I need to see her" I tell her, annoyed she stopped me.

"I know but listen to me, she's in pieces. I've only seen her like this once, but not this bad! She won't tell me what happened, she won't talk, she's just breaking her heart and throwing up" fuck that sounds bad.

"What the hell happened?" I ask as I stride to the bathroom.

"I have no idea. I went in and she was on the floor sobbing. She hasn't told me what happened, I just held her while she cried" she tells me. When I get to the bathroom I can see there are women outside waiting to go in. I push my way through and find Ana on the floor. My heart tightens at the sight.

I untangle her from herself and hold her in my lap, "I'm her baby" and I rub her back as she cries hard into my chest, her hands on my back. Fuck, I could care less about myself right now, I need to be here for Ana. "I've got you".

What the fuck happened?

"Kate, I need you to get Taylor to bring the car around!" She looks confused, "he's my security, Elliot knows" I need to get her out of here. I need her to talk to me, I need to know what the hell happened! But Ana's in no state to talk, something has crushed her. This is emotional from what I can see, she has no injuries, nothing physical. But that's worse, most of the time it's the emotional abuse which cuts deeper. When Kate comes back in to tell me Taylor has the car, I lift Ana into my arms, and head for the exit, ignoring all the confused looks. However, when I get around the back some fucking paparazzi have followed and are snapping pictures furiously. Fuck! Luckily Sawyer, who arrived earlier and has been with Taylor, all night is pushing them away from us as Taylor opens the door.

"Mr Grey!" One screams!

"Mr Grey is that your girlfriend?" Another yells.

"Who is she?" And the flashes keep coming.

"What's happening?" One screams.

"Are you getting married?" Another yells. Oh for Gods sake!

"Is she pregnant?" Says another. They are so fucking stupid, really the first thing they think when I'm finally seen with a woman, is that she's trapping me by having a baby! Seriously? Scum bags!

Fuck, this is not how I planned on the media finding out about us. I cradle her tightly and duck down into the car as Taylor shuts the door.

When we get back to my apartment, Ana hasn't said a word. I won't pressure her though. I just continue to hold her as I call for the elevator. Finally in the safety of my home, I walk us through to my bedroom and I gently lie Ana down and get onto the bed with her and pull her back into my arms. Stroking her back I wait for Ana to calm, I don't care how long it takes, as long as she's not pushing me away I'll take this at her pace.

"I'm here baby" I wipe the tears from her cheeks. After what seems like hours, Ana finally starts to calm.

"Thank you" she eventually sniffles, looking so vulnerable and fragile.

"Do you need anything?" I ask, still holding her face.

She shakes her head, "You being here is enough" she gives me a weak smile.

"What happened Ana?" I ask softly, not wanting her to get defensive or annoyed.

She just looks right at me and I think she's going to change the subject, "another one of you ex girlfriends wanted to send her kind regards to me"

I frown, what does that mean? Shit was Megan there? How did she get in? No one has heard from her, we think she's left Seattle for a while.

"The blonde with the bad boob job" she answers my unasked question. Who? And then my eyes pop, oh fuck no! Elena you fucking hag! What did you do? Or worse what did you say?

"What did she do baby?" I ask, trying to keep the anxiety out of my voice.

She swallows and bites her lip, I can tell she's debating on what to say or how to phrase it. It's agonising waiting, just tell me Ana I silently beg. "Did you used to fuck her?" She asks quietly, with little emotion. Shit! I thought I could have avoided this discussion for a while! I wanted to prepare myself before I told her, have a few drinks before she would look at me in disgust, and probably leave me.

"Yes I did" I have to be truthful.

Ana just nods solemnly, "who is she?"

Rip off the bandaid Grey, you promised not to lie to her anymore, "her name is Elena Lincoln...she's the woman who introduced me to the BDSM life" and I take a deep breath, "she also happens to be my mom's friend"

The silence drags on. I'm waiting on the edge for Ana to leave in disgust.

"I take it your mom doesn't know?" She asks. Fuck she's still here, not screaming or freaking out. I'll answer any question she has, as long as she doesn't run.

I shake my head, answering her question.

"How long were you together...together?" She frowns, the idea of me and Elena probably revolts her, I know I feel that way now.

"For six years, it ended when I was 21" I answer.

I can see her calculating and she frowns when I see she's reached her answer.

"But...but you would have been 15?" She says, "you would have been a kid Christian?"

I just nod, fuck how could I have been so fucking stupid? Why did I let her sink those claws into me? "I know" and I can't look at my Ana, I fear what I'll see.

"I'm so sorry Christian" she says softly. I look up and she looks devastated, why? She was the one who was emotionally beaten tonight by my freak ex-mistress, why is she looking so upset for me? "I sorry for what she did to you" usually I hate pity, I see it as people thinking I'm weak. But I know Ana wouldn't be like that.

"You know, for years I always thought she was a force of good. I was out of control as a teenager and she helped bring me back from the brink of destruction-" and I let out a heavy sigh, "But now...I don't want to see myself as a victim, because I would think of myself as weak, she would have won. But she took advantage of my issues for her own needs" it's taken years for Flynn to get me to accept that, but it wasn't until Ana that the words have finally sunk in. "She wasn't the good I needed. You though Ana, you are the good I've always needed in my life. I just wish I had met you a long time ago".

"Me too" and Ana strokes my cheek.

"Whatever she said to you Ana, whatever hurtful things she told you, they aren't true. I don't know what she said to you baby, but Elena likes to hurt people, and I'm sorry she hurt you. You've been hurt so much because of me" I hate being the reason she's cried.

"You're worth it Christian." She smiles.

"So are you pretty girl" I say back.

"Say that again" she smiles shyly.

I roll on top of her and look right into those beautiful eyes, "Anastasia Steele, you are the love of my life, and you are worth all the hard times, bad times, ugly times, and we've had a few of them in our short time together. I told you I wasn't going anywhere, and I mean that. I love you so much pretty girl" and I give her a single gentle kiss, pouring all the love I have for her into it.

 **...**

Ana has fallen asleep in my arms, still in her dress, all my secrets are finally out and she's still with me! Thank you God, Buddha, whoever, I wouldn't want my life without her. And I protect the people in my life. And right now I need to sort something out. I gently shuffle out of bed, careful not to wake her, and I drape a blanket over her as I turn and go to my office. Picking up my phone I dial Taylor.

"Taylor I need the car" I say emotionlessly.

"Yes sir" He answers.

"And I want Sawyer to remain here with Ana" I'm furious that Elena managed to get to Ana while under Sawyer's care, but I can't blame him too much, I know how Elena works, she probably had been watching Ana all night and saw an ideal opportunity.

I hang up and grab a piece of paper and a pen, I don't want Ana thinking I just up and left. But I need this dealt with.

 **Ana please don't freak out because I am not with you. I need to just deal with an issue which has hurt someone I love. I will be back soon, hopefully before you wake up xx**

I quickly change into a jumper and some jeans and I'm out the door and ready for war. The drive is quiet, Taylor is to stay put until I need him, despite his concerns. I can't keep quiet anymore, I know I should probably have called my dad, but Elena can hurt me, but not Ana.

"We're here sir" Taylor informs me.

"Thank you Taylor" and I get out of the car before Taylor can voice his concerns again and I stride over to Elena's front door. I ring the bell.

"Christian!" She looks pleasantly surprised as she opens the door, adjusting her robe. Ugh, I can tell she's in the middle of a scene! She used to wear a similar robe after we finished a scene. I don't care though that I've interrupted, the bitch can suffer.

"Elena" I simply say. And I wait until she moves aside, inviting me in. Keep cool Grey. I make my way into the livingroom.

"To what do I owe the pleasure Christian?" She goes to touch my arm as she passes and I cringe, she pretends not to notice and goes to pour herself a drink. I decline her offer to join her.

"I want to know exactly, as in word for word, what you said to Ana this evening" I say coldly and calmly.

She laughs it off, "what are you talking about?" Adding ice to her drink.

"I'm not going to ask you so nicely again Elena, I know you said something cruel to her, I just want to know exactly what you said" I ask again with my hands clasped tightly behind my back.

"Oh now she's being over dramatic. I simply told her to appreciate what she's got with you" she simply says, taking a sip of her drink.

I nod, "well that doesn't add up Elena?"

Now she looks serious, in a mocking way. "Oh let me guess, she cried? Gave you the whole, "poor me" act and said I was mean to her?" She throws her head back laughing wickedly, "for gods sake Christian really? You could do so much better then this stupid little girl! I mean come on, you're a dominate, master of your own fucking universe, you have needs! What the hell does this stupid girl know about satisfying you? Seriously take her back to the pound and I'll find you a real woman"

Ok now that's below the fucking belt, I walk calmly towards her until I am towering over her, "you fucking disgust me. You will no longer have a role in my life. I have started the process of dissolving my business ties with you. I have come clean to my father about our past, and I will be telling the rest of my family tomorrow. I have already told my girlfriend and despite what you think, she's still with me. I'm not the monster you made me believe I am Elena. I am capable of love and being loved, I'm not the empty sack of shit you are Elena. And I can't wait for you to grow old alone and miserable"

She goes from confusion to fear to anger to pure rage, "You can't do this! You fucking bastard, I made you!" she points at herself furiously, "Look at what this slut has done to you, you weak pathetic little shit!" She gets right in my face now, I can smell the alcohol. She's trying to flex her dominate muscles and force me to submit to her. Yeah like that's going to happen. Woman please! I push her away from me and she falls onto the sofa, her robe slips opens and her tits are spilling out of the latex corset and mini skirt. She's revolting.

"Sit down and shut up Elena, you're giving me a fucking migraine-" I pinch the bridge of my nose, and turn to see who interrupted me and all the colour drains from my face.

"Mistress I-" oh my god! I think I'm going to puke! It's Elena's submissive. It's Elena's under age submissive, half naked, covered in whip marks.

"What are you doing here?" Elena screams, she looks terrified. Caught red handed. I've got you bitch. She told me she never had young subs, I was the only one, I knew she was lying. Now I have my evidence.

"I'm, I'm sorry Mistress. I heard yelling and was concerned for you" he says looking down, stuttering and shaking.

I can't help but laugh as I look on at Elena, weak and pathetic and I take out my phone, "Taylor I need your assistance" I hang up. And without hesitation Taylor makes an appearance moments later. Taking in the scene before him, Elena eyes wide, jaw open, her submissive half naked and battered, he remains calm awaiting instructions. "Taylor, take this boy here and get him some clothes. Then I need you to contact my father, it looks as if we have our evidence" because I know Elena, I know her very well, and she has cameras in her playroom. Taylor nods and escorts the boy out. I turn back to Elena who is frozen in shock. I lean against the door frame and I can't help the smile that breaks out on my face. I turn in the direction of her playroom and suddenly she jumps me.

"Don't you fucking dare! I'll expose you too!" She screams hysterically as she claws at me.

I slam us into the wall causing her to scream in pain, and then I grab her arm and throw her over my shoulder and to the floor. She coughs frantically as she rolls onto her front to get up, but I grab her arms and pull them behind her back restraining her.

"Tighter Christian, you know I like it when you restrain me so roughly" she tries to entice me. Ugh, the fucking psycho won't stop.

"Enjoy it while you can bitch, cause when you're behind bars, there won't be any pleasure after the beatings you get" I mock her. And I wait patiently, ignoring her pleas.

"Christian?!" I hear my dad from behind me, he has a mixture of anger and concern on his face, as he sees Elena restrained on the floor.

"It's ok dad, I think we have our witness for the case" I say and I stand pulling up Elena and I take her outside to put her in the car. "Dad I need you wait here with Taylor and keep an eye on these two, and I'll go call the police" he nods and I go back to Elena's house. I need to find the photos Elena has of me, I can't have my family seeing them, it will break them. Walking into her office I go to her desk and remove a handkerchief and open the desk to find the safe. Elena is predictable, her measurements are the code. The door pops open and I carefully take out the folder and I see there's two boxes. The first is a collection of DVDs, all have names on them, I know she keeps visual evidence. But when I open the second box my stomach drops. Holy shit! I remove the contents with a shaking hand and as I look through it, it gets too much and I throw up. That fucking freak! She kept souvenirs from our time together! She's got my fucking underwear, the first fucking butt plug she ripped me apart with, oh my god it has my blood stains still on it! She didn't fucking clean it. And then of course there are hundreds of polaroids, along with other toys she used on me. I can't take anymore, I close the box. Making sure she has nothing more on me, I close the safe and pick up the phone.

"Hello, I would like to report a sexual assault" I tell the officer, and proceed to give them the details and the hang up. I sit back in the chair, trying to get my shit together before I face my dad. Taking the box I walk back to the car.

"It's done dad, the police are on their way" I tell my dad. I'm done.

"I can take it from here son" and he eyes the box suspiciously, "we may need that in court"

I shake my head, "No. No one will ever see what's inside here. This ends today, and I'm going to have great pleasure burning this later"

My dad gives a weak smile and thankfully drops it.

"Christian please don't do this!" Elena screams from inside the car.

I ignore her, "Dad I'd hate to ask, but is there any chance I could take your car home, and Taylor takes you back? I need to get back to Ana, she had an ugly run in with THAT" I jerk my head towards Elena, who is still pleading, yeah beg bitch! "I can bring it back tomorrow, I want to talk to mom before all this shit hits the media"

"Of course Christian. I'd appreciate you talking with your mom, it's been hell lying to her. Go be with Ana and I'll see you tomorrow" and he opens his arms, looking cautious, wondering if the previous hug was a fluke. I wrap my arms around him and he pats my back, "I'm proud of you son, that couldn't have been easy coming clean about this. But I told you, we will get through this together, as a family. And as a family, we will always love you Christian and be by your side"

"Thank you dad" I whisper back.


	52. Chapter 52

**Yeah right, like I'd ever let that paedophile win! I wouldn't do that you guys :) Have a little faith lol! Sorry for the delay, I know I was on the ball posting daily, but I had planned the story to this point, and now I'm debating where to go next. I know how to end the first part, just I'm thinking what to put in this part and what to put in part 2 and possibly a part 3. Anyway...excuse the typos :)**

 **Chapter 50 APOV**

That's a lot of information to throw at one person in one night, my head is pounding. First that paedophile freak Elena corners me in the bathroom and rips me to shreds. I could handle the bitchy "you ugly" comments, well kind of, it stung bad. But it was the rejection comment that got to me the most, because it's true, my family don't want me...then she said that about my father. Is it true? Is he really dying? How the hell would she even know about my dad? Or the fact of his apparent ill health.

I stare at the ceiling, the room is shrouded in darkness. I am at Christian's place, in his bed, minus a Christian. Patting the pillow hoping to find him, I squash a piece of paper. Taking it in my hand I roll over and reach for the lamp on the side table.

 **Ana please don't freak out because I am not with you. I need to just deal with an issue which has hurt someone I love. I will be back soon, hopefully before you wake up xx**

Looking over at the clock it's 2:56am. Where is Christian? Is he still out doing whatever he's doing? What's this issue? Then I remember our discussion before I fell asleep, Elena Lincoln. Not just the jealous hag but a freak who abused him as a child, preying on his insecurities and using him for her own selfish needs. That doesn't sit too well with me, she can be jealous and hate me, but to hear now that she hurt Christian, it makes my blood boil.

Scooping up the skirt of my dress I pad across the bedroom and check the bathroom, he's not there. When I enter the hallway which leads to the great living room, it's completely dark, it's unsettling. I wrap my arms around myself as I walk through the darkness, I hope he's ok. Gently I knock on his office door, but there's no answer. As I open the door slowly I can see faint orange light seeping from the balcony, and I can smell smoke, what is that? Walking forward I notice a metal bin on the balcony floor, flames leaping from inside, a figure is sat next to the bin holding a box or something. The closer I get, Christian starts to come into focus, his expression seems tortured. Shit, what's happened? Leaning against the doorframe I watch Christian toying with the lid of the box, I don't know how to approach him, I want to comfort him, take away that pain. But at the same time I want to respect his privacy.

"Are you ok?" It's killing me just standing here debating how to proceed. If he tells me he wants to be alone that's fine, but if he needs someone to talk to I'm here. He nods gently, not looking at me, oh god what's happened?

The minutes drag on, "No Ana...no I'm not ok" he whispers and the silence stretches on again, and he places his hand over his eyes. My heart tightens. I walk over as slowly as I can and drop to my knees next to his chair and I place my hand on his knee, gently rubbing, comforting in any way I can. I am here for him, as he has been for me. "You should be asleep baby" he eventually says.

"I'll go" I say and I quickly go to take my hand away and stand up but he snatches it back and holds it tight.

"Please don't go" he says looking at my hand within his, the other still on the box.

Shaking my head I put my other hand on top on his and squeeze it, "I won't". And I wait, being there for him, for as long as it takes.

"I finally took care of Elena Lincoln" Christian finally announces.

I gasp in shock. What? How? When? Shit I can't bombard him with questions, the poor guy is suffering. But I want to know what he did, and if that bitch has finally got what she deserved!

"How?" I ask, trying to keep the deserpation out of my voice.

"I exposed her for the disgusting child molesting tramp that she truly is" he says completely emotionless as he stares at the flames.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Before I met you, Elena used to help me seek out the perfect submissive. I had a type and she always found the perfect women to meet those needs".

Don't be jealous Ana, this was way before you started dating, way before you met. He had a past, you know this, just don't go all crazy Ana, this is about him.

"I never thought anything about where she found my subs, as long as they met my criteria, were of age and signed an NDA I was satisfied. But it all changed when I met you. The day you interviewed me, I was already involved with a sub, Megan. But I couldn't get you off my mind, I ended things with Megan because I wanted you."

Holy shit, so he was with her when I first met him...oh my God, no wonder this bitch hates me. He dismissed her because of me! Shit, was he still fucking her when he met me again at the bookstore? I feel my eyes fill and my face heats up, stop it Ana, he doesn't need you crying on top of his pain. Deal with your pain later.

"As you can imagine, you not being a sub, or hand picked by Elena didn't sit well with her. And she started to get nasty. I didn't want you to know her, to be poisoned by her, like she did to me. I started to distance myself from her, I mean you already confused the hell out of me, I have never been in a relationship and I didn't know how to proceed, and I didn't need Elena butting in and ruining everything. And Elena used that confusion as an opportunity to remind me I was a monster, unworthy of love or of you. Anyway, I started to see her differently, she didn't want to support the happiness I was feeling when I was with you, she wanted me under her control. I planned on coming clean to my parents, exposing her, but she was at my parents house and I lost my nerve. She eventually corned me and threatened me, saying if I didn't end it with you, then she would".

Fuck, that's probably what she got Megan to do, beat the crap out of me, frighten me off. Shit, I need to tell Christian it was Elena who got in contact with Megan.

"There was no way I was giving you up. I had finally found someone worth fighting for, someone I wanted to spend my life with. To laugh, to cry, to love, to be mine, Elena wasn't going to win. So I started digging, she declared war and I was determined to win. My guy Welch found out she had been contacting a woman called Elizabeth Morgan, she's a hospital administrator, at the hospital my mom works at. That's how Elena was getting her trainee subs, the children's wing".

Oh my god that's fucking sick! Praying on innocent children at a hospital, and that Elizabeth freak was helping her?! How the hell can...can there be so much evil in this world?! We really are a disgusting species, money in exchange for children to molest, how fucking disgusting!

"I didn't know how to proceed with this information. I needed help, that was when I finally turned to my dad, I told him everything...do you know that was the first time I ever saw my dad angry. The first time I heard him swear. And it was the first time I hugged him. She kept me from my family for far too long, and it was all because of you Ana, that I finally released myself from her hold".

I do a mental fist pump and victory dance.

"When you told me yesterday that she was the cause of your pain, I snapped. You were in so much pain Ana. It was frightening to see. She had said something, something cruel that broke past the sarcasm and defensiveness and cut you deep. So I went to confront her, I wanted to know exactly what she said to you. I didn't want to push you to talk, but I wanted to know. She laughed it off in true Elena fashion, but I put a dampener on her parade when I told her I was pulling out of our business partnership".

Ok he failed to mention that they worked together. Focus Ana, he's still cut ties with her.

"And that I had told you about us and you are still here, and that I was going to tell my family today and she went ballistic...until...we were interrupted" his face scrunches in revoltion "her sub came in to see if she was ok. The boy must have been fifteen, frightened, confused, covered in whip marks".

The image of a young frightened Christian plays on my mind and twists my heart.

"I finally got her" he whispers, looking at the fire.

I didn't realise I was crying until I finally sniffle, this pain will go with time, but he is finally free. I am so proud of him for having the courage to alter the present, say goodbye to the past and take a step forward into a future of freedom. I suspect this box is the last piece he needs to rid himself of it, and as much as I want him to share what's inside to lighten the burden, I wouldn't dare ask.

"You're finally free Christian" I say back, squeezing his hand.

"Nearly, I have two things left" and for the first time since I found him here, he turns to look at me, "and I'm in need of your help with both".

"What do you need?" I answer immediately.

"I'm meeting with my family today to tell them what's happened...would you stay with me when I tell them?" He asks, his voice full of anxiety.

As much as it will upset me to watch a family break at the news, I will be there for him, and help him along with his family, move past this and grow stronger. "Of course I will".

He takes my hand and kisses it gently.

"This is a box of...trophies...Elena kept. Of her conquering me" he looks at the box in disgust as do I. That fucking freak, so what she kept pictures of him, the tools she hurt him with? "I don't want it around. I don't want anyone else to see it. I want it gone. So I want to know if you'll...stay and help me say goodbye to this last piece of pain?"

I give him a crooked smile and nod and wipe away a stray tear from his cheek, "I'm here. Whatever you need baby, I'm here".

And I stand up and walk behind him, placing my hands on his shoulders as he takes the box in both hands, trembling hands. And without opening the box he drops it into the flames, the fire purging the evil within the box. We stand and watch in silence until the fire finally dies out, the contents nothing more then black waste.

"Thank you Ana" Christian finally breaks the silence, taking my hand.

"Anytime" I smile down at him and give him a small wink.

Then he walks around to stand right before me, looking straight into my soul. The look he is giving me, begging for something, me. I can give him that, take away the pain, just for a while. I place my hand on his cheek, he leans into my carees, his hand on my waist bringing me closer.

 **...**

I wake up with a fright. What the hell is that noise? There's a loud banging coming from upstairs and I can hear screaming. Fuck! I scramble out of bed in Christian's t-shirt and run towards the commotion. It's coming from Christian's playroom. I throw open the door not caring whose in there, fuck if it's an intruder, I need to make sure it's not Christian getting hurt. But what I see stops me in my tracks. Christian has a metal baseball bat in his hands, swinging and smashing up the playroom! I can see the muscles in his back flex at the force he puts into destroying the room.

"Christian!" I shout, but he doesn't hear me. He is breaking the wooden rack of whips, the noise is defending. I jump when I feel a hand on my shoulder, I guess Taylor is trying to stop me from intervening. Does he just let his boss go apeshit as long as he isn't in danger? I shake him off and step further into the room.

"Christian stop!" I try again, louder.

"No!" I screams and continues. I throw my hands over my face not wanting to see.

"Please" I say, I don't want to see him like this. It's breaking me to see him in pain. It was obvious that this wouldn't be fixed in a single day, this must be the aftershock! "Please stop!"

And then he stops, panting and turns to me frowning. He suddenly drops the bat and falls to the floor burying his head in his hands as he tugs on his hair in anger. An agonising sob erupts from him. I fall to my knees next to him, terrified to touch him, but wanting to hold him. I reach out my hand then draw it back.

"She did terrible things to me Ana!" He sobs, "I begged her to stop and she wouldn't. She wouldn't stop hurting me! And the fucking fool I am, I believed I deserved this pain. To be tortured and humiliated and made to beg for mercy! She made me into this, this freak! They both did, both those despicable women. My mother messed me up, let that man hurt me, holding me down why he tortured me. What kind of a mother does that to her child? And then Elena, the bitch tied me up, held me down and hurt me more! Why? Why did I let them? Why did I have to be so fucking weak?" He screams to me, making me jump.

"It wasn't you're fault Christian" I whisper, my voice breaking.

"But I didn't stop them! And look at me, the poor little victim and I get my kicks from whipping women! Women who look like my whore of a mother, my only way of taking out my anger on her, is to inflict it on those who look like her! I let them turn me into this monster!" He yells at me. I've never seen him so angry, I've never been frightened of Christian before, but right now I cringe away. Is that why he was attracted to me, because I remind him of his mother? That Megan was similar to me, but why would I be different? Does he still want to punish me, on behalf of his mother? But I remember all the times we've been together, even in the playroom, I never saw any aggression in his face. All I've seen is love, laughter, annoyance yes and frustration, but never anger and hatred. You need to believe in us Ana, he's not like that.

"You are not a monster", I want to reach over and push that strand of hair out of his eyes, to comfort him, soothe him, but I have to let him get this out!

"How can you say that? You saw the things I used to use in here" he yells, throwing his arm out gesturing around the room.

"Did you force anything on those women?" I ask sternly, he needs to understand that he is nothing like that bitch-troll! Yes he's into BDSM, I've met people who get turned on by pain! I read that there are guys who like getting kicked in the balls! People have their likes and dislikes, so who the hell are we to judge. There is a huge difference between spanking a woman in the context of a BDSM relationship, were both parties consent and trust each other, and a man coming home from work after a hard day at work and beating the crap out of his wife. As long as everyone is of age and agrees and they respect and trust each other then fair enough. Elena did none of those, what she did was abusive and cruel.

"Of course not but-" He tries to disagree.

I cut him off, oh no Grey, you can't argue your case here, "Did you stop when they used a safe word?"

"Always" he says instantly.

"Did you stop when they asked you to stop?" I ask.

"Yes" he answers.

"Were they of age and consenting?" The biggest difference between Christian and Elena.

"Of course" he says.

And now I let out a sigh and I speak softer, "Then believe me, you are miles apart from that woman Christian" and I finally reach out, making my intentions clear, and I take his frightened face within my hands, "I wouldn't be in love with you if you were anything like that. And you're not. You're the guy who played video games with me in the arcade, the guy who laughter with me like a kid on the merry go round. You're the guy who made love to me on the floor of your boat, when we couldn't make it to the bed because we fell over laughing so hard. You're the guy who took me skydiving and who wouldn't let me cover my eyes in fear. You're the guy I've been waiting for. The guy who I tried so hard to push away because I was so frightened you would realise you were better off, but the one I was so desperate to have stay with me, and you did. You've held me while I cried. Picked me up when I fell. Listened to me rant and rave like a crazy person. Laughed with me rather then at me. You're the guy I love Christian Grey."


	53. Don't hate me, just wanted to say thanks

**Ok don't hate me because this isn't the next chapter! So sorry! I will get the next one up ASAP! But as I've said before I'm still learning about this site, having lost and finding a chapter, and I've just seen the little button next to your reviews that lets me drop a message to you! So I'm making my rounds of giving you thanks for the support and nice comments! :) so if I haven't reached you yet, I'm sorry I'm a tool!**


	54. Chapter 54

**Sorry for the delay guys, but here we go. Don't panic though there are still a few things to do before I finish this part of the story lol. But first we have the big family talk. Excuse any typos guys :)**

 **Chapter 51 CPOV**

I wake up in the arms of Ana, my head is on her chest, her hands cradling my head. We are not in bed though. Lifting myself off Ana I look around at the mess, we are still in the playroom, asleep in amongst the destruction. Shit, I really did have a complete fucking melt down! In front of Ana. Shit Grey, you must of scared the crap out of her. I can remember her face, I've never seen her look so frightened, of me. Not even when I pulled that scum bag Jose off her. I've now made her recoil from me, frightened I would hurt her. How could you do that Grey? I look down at my Ana, she has rolled on to her side, her hands folded under her cheek, sleeping so peacefully. She's still with me though. Even after seeing the darker side of me, having revealed my darkest secrets and fears, having yelled and destroyed my room in front of her, she's still with me. I lean down and stroke her cheek, and decide to pick her up, holding her close against my naked chest and take her back to my bedroom. It's 5:56am, I'll let Ana sleep, but I need to sort something's out, I'm meeting my family today. Something I'm not looking forward to, but I've put it off for too long. I go to my office and see the burnt out bin on the balcony, I step outside into the cool Seattle air and look into the black mess, it's disgusting I turn away quickly and shut the door on it. Taking out my glasses from my desk drawer, I put them on, hoping to take the edge off my headache and go to the kitchen for coffee.

"Good morning Mr Grey" I am startled by Taylor coming out from his office.

"Good morning Taylor" I nod and then I remember the incident this morning, I had left Ana asleep after destroying that box and went to the playroom, baseball bat in one hand. I remember Taylor coming after me.

 _"Sir, I can do that" Taylor says from the doorway, his hands clasped behind his back._

 _"It's fine Taylor, this is something I need to do myself" I brush him off and start to swing._

 _"Please Sir, I can do this, you are in no fit state! You may hurt yourself" there's an edge to Taylor's voice, is it concern? No, of course not Grey, no one gives a shit about you!_

 _"Taylor. I'm fine. You're free to go!" I shout over my shoulder and I continue my mission of destruction. Taylor doesn't leave. I can still see his large figure in the hallway, keeping an eye on me. Great so now I have a fucking audience!_

 _"Christian stop!" I hear a pained voice._

Coming back to the now I look at Taylor, maybe not just my security, maybe a friend. "Thank you Jason" and I extend my hand, which he takes and gives me a nod.

"Anytime sir" he says back.

The moment is broken by the memory of my plans for today, "I'm going to get some coffee and I want to discuss the events of yesterday in my office" and I leave to get some coffee and quickly throw on a t-shirt before heading back to my office.

"So, was there any trouble yesterday?" I ask when I'm seated back in my office with Taylor. I need to know that Elena didn't go mental in the car and break free and escape.

"No sir, the police arrived ten minutes after you left and took Mrs Lincoln into custody. The boy, whose name is Dean Richardson, was taken to the hospital." Taylor informs me calmly.

"Good. I'm glad the hag is behind bars for now. I'll be discussing the proceedings with my father today. Did the police find anything in the house?" Well I know they'll have found her dungeon which would have given them one hell of a shock, as well as the files in the safe.

"The contents in the safe have been taken, and her computer has been confiscated. From the collection of Polaroids, in which Mrs Lincoln so helpfully labeled and dated, we can see this has been going on for more then twenty years sir" his eyes narrow slightly as do mine, that bitch has gotten away with it for nearly my whole life.

"What about Miss Morgan, has she been arrested yet?" Or do I need to give an anonymous tip?

"Not yet sir, but it won't be long, especially since they have Mrs Lincoln's computer" he says.

"Let me know when she's apprehended Taylor" I don't want her walking away from this.

"Of course sir. Now there is another issue I need to discuss with you" and Taylor removes something from his pocket. Ah shit, what now? He hands me a print out, it's from some trashy tabloid.

 **Back alley romance for Seattles hottest bachelor!**

What the fuck does that mean?

 _Seattle's most wanted bachelor, billionaire Christian Grey, was seen leaving his sister, fashion designer Mia Grey's birthday last night with a mystery girl in his arms. Providing no comment Grey carried this unknown girl hastily through the service exit in an attempt to escape prying eyes, before ducking into his car._

 _What's the matter Mr Grey, too embarrassed to take the girl home through the main entrance? Is this Seattles newest royal couple, or did Mr Grey just get caught taking home his newest flavour for the evening? Stay tuned!_

The picture shows Ana in my arms, her head tucked into my chest. I'm shielding her with my hand, and I look completely enraged. Understandable though given what had occurred moments before, and the inappropriate questions. The paper starts to crinkle in my grasp. This isn't journalism, this is fucking sad pathetic gossip! How dare they lump my relationship with Ana in the same league as some trashy hookup! I want this destroyed!

"Taylor I want this buried. Get hold of my PR team and have then sink this piece of shit!" I throw the offending article to the floor.

"Of course sir" and he gets up and leaves. If it's not one thing it's another! I run my hands through my hair and blow out a sigh of frustration.

"Please don't say something else has happened?" I hear from behind me. I didn't hear Ana come in, and she's sat opposite me in front of my desk, legs crossed in just my t-shirt. Just what I need, Ana, naked under that t-shirt. She chases away the darkness. Leaning forward I pat on my desk, and cock my eye brows, inviting her over. She complies and gets up and walks around, sitting on my desk where I patted. Leaning back on my chair I look up at my beautiful girl, she's waiting for an answer.

"Elena is in custody" I tell her and I can see a smile play on her lips. I know, I'm so happy that bitch is toast!

"Is that boy ok?" She asks frowning in concern.

"Yeah, he was taken to the hospital to be treated. He's going to be fine" I reassure her. But now I have to tell her about the scrunched up article on the floor. If we are going to see my parents I can't risk Mia finding it and accidentally reading it out! So I lean down and pick up the ball and hand it to Ana. She looks at me questionably and laughs and begins to unravel it. When it's open I can see Ana's eyes open wide and she begins to read the article. She's going to freak out! I would, those bastards basically called her some back alley tramp that I was taking home for the night. But instead she bursts out laughing and rips it up and throws the pieces in the air, paper raining down on us.

"I know you're waiting for me to go typical Ana right now, but I'm not. Baby that was bloody hilarious" she continues to laugh, paper now in her hair.

"You're ok with that? Or you're laughing because you want to scream and break things?" I smirk looking up at her. Why is she not going ballistic?

"Christian with everything that went down last night, and everything you said to me and I said to you, I know the truth about us. So what this moron reporter said is hilarious because it is so far from the truth, and they think they've got their big scoop, and they haven't! So yeah it's freaking hilarious" she smiles at me. She's right, those scum bags know nothing about us, as long as I know and Ana knows, then fuck the rest. I stand up and stand between her legs, her arms wrapping around my neck, my arms circling her waist. This is what I need.

"I was expecting the wrath of Steele to explode right about now. I guess I've done a pretty good job in taming you pretty girl" I smirk at her.

She scrunches her nose in a adorable way, "maybe" and she pulls me down to her lips. Reaching up I lace my one hand through her thick hair and pull her head back, deepening the kiss. I need her, now. She takes away all the bad, so I brace my one hand on the desk and I lie her down, not breaking contact. Her hand runs down my arm, skimming gently my side with her finger tips until she reaches my pyjama bottoms, which she pulls down.

 **...**

"I know this is a really stupid question, but I have to ask, are you ok?" Ana asks while I'm driving to my parents house. Neither of us have said a word since we left the apartment twenty minutes ago.

If I'm honest, I'm shitting bricks right now! I am terrified! Telling my mom that not only is one of her best friends is in jail because she's abused children, but that she used to abuse me when I was fifteen, is not something I'm looking forward to. How can one be ready or prepared to break this kind of story to their family? But I need to do this. It's going to take real work, but we will get past this. I hope. Reaching over I take her hand and bring it to my lips, "I'd be lying if I said yes I was fine".

When I finally pull up to my parents, we again sit in silence, "I'm here Christian. Whatever happens next, I'm here". That's all I need, and before I can back out I get out of the car and walk hand in hand with Ana to my parents front door.

"Hey Christian" Mia screams as she opens the door and throws her arms around me, "dad said you wanted to meet up" and then she reaches over to Ana, "hey Ana, I'm so glad to see you again, I missed you yesterday. Kate said you were ill" oh shit yeah, we kind of left without saying a word to anyone!

"I'm so sorry Mia, I guess Kate laced up my dress too tightly and made me feel crap" Ana tries to laugh off.

"Seriously Christian" Elliot comes down the stairs as we walk towards the living room, Christ he looks like shit, "you choose to have a family gathering the day after a party! Really? This better be bloody good!"

"Oh I bet it is" Mia winks at us. Ah crap they are probably expecting some big announcement, like me and Ana moving in together, or an engagement. Fuck!

"Hello darling" my mom soon joins us, my dad is next to her looking exhausted. I hug her close, please don't hate me mom. "Ana, it's lovely to see you again sweetheart. Kate said you weren't well last night, are you ok now?" My mom asks frowning with concern.

"I'm fine really, I'm so sorry about yesterday" Ana blushes with embarrassment.

"Don't be silly darling, don't apologise for not being well" my mom scolds while hugging Ana, "now what's so important that you've called a family meeting Christian?" She smirks at us.

I gulp, bollocks! "I need you all to sit and just listen, this is not going to be easy to say".

The pervious smile and relaxation from my mom is gone, she's now frowning, "You're scaring us Christian, what's happened?"

I take a deep breath, here we go, "Elena Lincoln has been arrested".

Everyone gasps in shock, "Oh my God!" My mom throws her hands over her mouth.

"Seriously?!" Elliot asks, astonished.

"Yes", I answer. But it's mom whom I'm watching carefully. She's shaking her head.

"Well shit, I thought you were going to tell us that Ana is pregnant" Mia pouts. I notice Ana blanches slightly.

My mom throws Mia an annoyed look, "This is ludicrous! Elena, arrested! For what?"

"She's being charged for several accounts of sexual assault on children" I say calmly.

Everyone again gasps in shock, and then the room falls silent.

"No! No that's not true! She's innocent!" And now my mom's up and she's pacing, fuming, "she's my friend, she'd never doing anything so monstrous! What can we do, Carrick you must help her! Call someone, you can get a team together to defend her" She pleads.

"I can't do that Gracie" my dad answers solemnly.

"Why not?!" She screams on the verge of tears for her friend.

"Because she's not innocent mom" I say.

"How can you say that? She's my friend, she's practically family, and you stand there and do nothing! Why? Why won't you help her Christian?" My moms yells at me.

I look at my mother, the anger in her eyes, anger aimed at me. I try to swallow the fear, instead I swallow the bile that is rising. "Because I was one of the children she abused" I finally answer. The colour drains from my moms face, and I can see her try to process what I've just told her.

"What?" My mom barely whispers.

"I was fifteen when she started...abusing me" I feel so disgusting right now!

She looks disgusted too, she's shaking her head, trying to rid herself of what I've just told her. "Please tell me this isn't true?"

"I can't do that mom. I really wish I could tell you this wasn't true, but I can't. I'm so sorry" I feel like such a failure.

"But-but she wouldn't do that. She wouldn't betray my trust" my mom stutters.

"Mom. Yesterday I went to her house to confront her after she verbally attacked Ana yesterday, while I was there a young boy was there with her. He had certain markings, whip marks on him." I tell her.

"How would you know that?" She looks confused.

"Because when I was a kid Elena introduced me to-to...uh-BDSM, and she used to hurt me. I'd recognise those marks anywhere" and I'd never forget them.

"No" she walks away from me shaking her head furiously, "no this isn't real" she screams. She hates me. This was my worse fear, my mom hating me for this. Suddenly she keels over and pukes into a vase, my dad rushes over with Elliot to help her.

Ana takes hold of my hand, I didn't realise I was crying until she brought me back to the now. I turn to her, I need her support that beautiful smile, she squeezes my hand and mouths "It's ok" I can't nod, I can't answer her.

"Please don't hate me mom" I whisper. But she can't hear me.

My dad is by her side, soothing her, talking to her, I can't hear what he's saying. But suddenly she stands and wipes the vomit off her mouth.

"I'm going to fucking kill her!" Fuck she sounds possessed. I've never heard my mom swear, or be angry. And then she comes to stand right in front of me, "you've never lied to me before Christian, you should have told me! I could have protected you!" She yells, making me cringe.

"I'm sorry mom" I'm trembling.

"I failed you!" She sobs, "it is my job as a mother to keep you safe, and I failed. I fucking fed you to her! This is my fault!" And suddenly she wraps her arms around me so tightly and crushes me in her embrace. I hold her tight and I sob into her neck.

"It wasn't your fault mom" I break down.

"I'm so sorry my baby!" She cries harder.

"I've brought you nothing but pain and disappointment mom. I'm so sorry I've hurt you...but please" and I lift my head to look at my mom, "please don't hate me".

"Don't you dare think for one minute, one fucking minute Christian that I would ever hate you! I'm angry you didn't tell me! I'm angry at myself for not seeing this and stoping it! And now I'm angry as hell that you think I would ever hate or be disappointed in you! You are my son, you three" and she looks at Elliot and Mia "are my babies, and I will always be by your side, no matter what! Do you all understand me?"

"Yes" I answer

"Yes mom" Mia answers.

"Yeah mom" Elliot answers.

"Now get over here, all of you" and Elliot, Mia and my dad come over and we hold each other. "We are a family unit, together we can survive anything" and then my mom cranes her neck, "and that includes you now Ana, get that skinny butt of yours over here" and I look over to Ana who is crying and she walks over and joins us.

I wrap my arm around her and kiss her forehead, "I love you" I whisper to her.

She places her hand on my shoulder, "I love you too".


	55. Chapter 55

**Hey guys sorry for the delay, I've had a crazy week. I've been busy with my helping plan my nephews birthday, and plus I've had a 6 hour sports days at the kids school! 6 hours waiting, in the sun, with a toddler, not good. Christ it's exhausting lmao! Also the site was being evil, I went to save edits to the chapter and it kept saying error or something, and I lost my work! Grr! Anyway, here's my newest chapter, hope you like it! Be gentle, this one is personal to me! Excuse the typos :)**

 **chapter 52 APOV**

 **(A few days later after Christians confession)**

"So Ana, how's it going?" Paul, the guy I work with asks as I unpack the new stock.

He's sweet, a typical pretty boy, but too sweet. He's been chewing on my leg like a love struck puppy for a while now, aw bless it's so pathetic. Even if I weren't with Christian, his guy would never survive with me, I'd kill him within a week. That's why I love Christian, yeah he's the most sweetest guy I know, but he won't sit there and take my shit. We argue. Scream, shout, break things. I love it. I know that the intense emotions show we want to fight for each other, because we would rather fight together then be apart. Anyway, I still need to shut Paul down, poor guy needs to take the hint.

"It's going good, thanks Paul. Though I'm a bit nervous, I'm forcing my boyfriend to meet my family this week" I smile. Not a lie, I had been instructed to get Christian to agree to have a family dinner with us. He accepted. I'm dreading it!

Aw that happy expression slips, "oh thats-uh that's nice. It's serious introducing the boyfriend to the family" he looks down. Ah man, this is just what I need guilt, on top of the confusion of my life.

Since the big blow up with Christian and his emotional rollercoaster with his family, I haven't had two minutes to think about my own personal dilemma. What with all this Elena mania hitting the media. Holy shit I knew she was a freak with what she did to Christian, but when I read about it in the paper and saw it on the news I was astonished. She has been accused of 6 accounts of sexual assault so far, all the victims have been under the ages of 16, accused of possessing/taking/making incident images of children, as well as supplying underage children to men and women. According to the records the police have discovered, this abuse has been going on for about twenty years plus. The police have also brought into questioning Elizabeth Morgan, chief administrator at Seattle's Children's hospital, for aiding in these crimes. I hate how they show no images of the accused women, they are hidden so well behind that black glass in police vans. If I had it my way, I would skip the trial and I would let the parents of the victims have the sick twisted hags. Instead they'll probably do a few years in prison, where they will be protected, have access to a gym, education, three meals a day, and will get out early for good behaviour. Once free both women will get new identities. It makes me sick, I hate the justice system. Christian's mom has been a wreck, and I can't blame her. First she hears her best friend abused her son, then she has to learn that a trusted friend at work helped hand this paedophile these innocent children, right under everyone's noses. But this tragedy may have trashed the lives of the Grey family, but it hasn't broken them, in fact it's made them stronger. I was a fly on the wall watching that family band together in love and strength, and then Grace grabbed me to join them, and I finally felt whole.

But now I need to deal this personal dilemma of mine, my own shadow on my sunshine. I managed to track down my father, and he is indeed ill and in hospital. The bitch receptionist was reluctant to give me any information, until I laid into her, telling her to mind her own business and give me my father's details! Expect me Thrusday I told her, I don't care if he doesn't want to see me, if this is my one and only chance to meet my father, then I'm taking it. I haven't told Christian though, I know it will lead to an argument, but with all this Elena shit, I didn't want to add to his problems. I was strong enough, I can deal with this.

Mom and Izzy understand why I need to do this, after all I'm the only one who has no memory of this guy. Izzy met him once, apparently he was in the pub one night when she went out with some friends. She threw a drink in his face, he was a prick apparently, and there was no way in hell she wanted to meet that "piece of shit" again. So it's just me, Thrusday, meeting my father.

 **...**

"Hi, I'm looking for Frank Lambert." I say nervously to the elderly receptionist, who just looks down her nose at me and frowns.

"I can't just give information like that out. Who are you?" She snaps. Don't push me bitch, not today! I have not slept a wink, I've puked twice and I'm shaking like a leaf.

"I'm his daughter. Now I'll ask again. I am looking for Frank Lambert, where may I find him?" I ask sweetly.

Rolling her eyes at me she taps on her keyboard, and without looking back at me says, "Ward 3".

"Thank you" and I look at her name tag, "Cynthia, I'll be sure to inform your supervisor on how warmly you welcome your distraught visitors" and I turn and leave towards the elevators.

Ward 3 is the cancer ward, I stand outside the doors for five minutes. I always wanted to meet my father. I had this incredible idea that I would meet him, and he'd be a bastard and I'd throw something smug at him and then punch him in the face and laugh as I walked away. This was not how I imagined meeting him, not on a cancer ward, not dying. I couldn't hit a dying man! Still Ana this is your only chance. So I walk forward and buzz on the buzzer.

"Can I help you" a woman's voice crackles from the buzzer.

"Um yes, my name is Ana Steele and I'm here to see Frank Lambert...my father" I say.

"Ok" and the doors buzz open.

As I walk towards the nurses station I can see beds, some with people sleeping, some with people smiling with visiting families, some alone, all sick. My lip starts to tremble, I'd never wish this on anyone, this disease. And in ways I'm not sure if I envy those families, that sit with their sick relative, their loved one. There's so much love and beauty here as they hold each other, they will be missed, memories will be held close, I won't have that. I have no memories of my father, just the ones I will make today, and I don't think they will be tender and sweet moments. I'm not so sure I'm the lucky one, having not known my father.

"May I help you?" A chubby nurse with rosey cheeks asks me.

"Yeah hi, I'm Ana. I'm here to meet my father Frank Lambert" I say weakly.

"Oh yes, I spoke with you on the phone before" she smiles. So this was the nice nurse I got to talk to once that bitchy receptionist patched me through.

I nod meekly, my nerve has gone. "He's right through here" she points to a side room, "I'll just go let him know you're here" and she goes. He's in a side room, that's really not a good sign then.

"Are you nervous?" Someone asks making me jump. I look over and it's a younger nurse, I'm guessing a trainee, who asked me. She gives me a small sympathetic smile.

I again nod, "a little". Well a lot!

"You'll be fine" she nods back to me and leaves with a clipboard.

"You can go in now" the first nurse informs me and she ushers me towards the room.

Oh fuck, no turning back now. I take a deep breath and open the door. Stood by the window of the small cramped hospital room is a tall lanky man. His limbs are willowy and his face is drawn tight. His green eyes pop wide when he finally turns fully towards me and focuses in on me in the doorway. My father looks like the shadow of the man from my moms wedding pictures.

"So...you're the one I haven't met" he asks. Really? That's the first thing you fucking say? Ah well this is going to be great!

"I guess so" I answer back and I close the door and walk to the seat at the foot of the bed and sit. He nods gently and moves sluggishly over to the bed and climbs in. When he's finally sat we stare at each other. This is my father? The guy who hurt my mother? Nearly killed me? Well fuck, I could snap this guy with a paper clip. What a pathetic person! The hatred starts to flow back through my veins.

"You're so much like you're mother" he tells me, a slight look of disappointment on his face.

"Thank you. I'm glad I follow my mother then" I say calmly and coolly. His eyes pop slightly wider, I guess that pissed him off. He might have bullied my mom, but he's going to learn that she made me strong.

"I know you're probably here to tell me you hate me and I did nothing for you. But I want to tell you my side" he argues.

Like you have a side I want to hear! "I'm not interested in your side Frank"

"I still want to tell you" so I nod, come on then, give me your best shot, "you're mother was jealous of me and my family. I did everything I could for you girls, but it was never good enough-"

"Well the lack of money from you would say otherwise" I say calmly.

Again his eyes pop out even wider, Christ it's annoying, "Now that's not true I gave you money" he snaps angrily.

"Interesting...we never saw a penny" I reply relaxed. So much like me and Izzy, fire and ice.

"Well I did! I guess she told you that to turn you against me. I told you she was jealous of me! It wasn't my fault her family hated her and left her, but she was jealous of what I had and she took it out on me. She used to provoke me, do anything to piss me off, any excuses for a fight" he whines like the poor little victim. God I've been here for five minutes and there's no words of love or I've missed you, just him trying to clear his name.

He's not worth arguing with, I bet he'd love that. So I nod and calmly answer, "Interesting".

Then he smirks like he's got something to really shock me with, "There were lots of rumours about your mother. Apparently while we were out once, she went to the bathroom, and she was gone a long time. A friend of mine said she was in the bathroom, getting screwed by some guy on the sink-"

I hold up my hand, "Frank I couldn't give a shit what my mom did or did not do. Whether what you're saying is true or not I really don't care. I don't care if she was having sex with half of Seattle, she's my mom, the only parent I know and had, I'll take her side always. I know the kind of woman my mom is and it's disrespectful that after twenty five years of raising your kids on her own, that you use this opportunity to abuse her name. You should be praising her, she's an incredible woman"

"I know. But she had this way of just provoking me" he sulks.

"Like she did when you beat her up when she was pregnant with me and you put her in the hospital?" I spit at him.

"Now hang on it wasn't like that!" His nostrils flare.

"Tell me then" I challenge.

He just looks at me, shaking his head in disgust, "The most I did was kick her in the back, that was it". That's it? Really?

"So you think that's acceptable? To kick a pregnant woman?" I laugh humourlessly. The nerve of this guy, seriously!

"It wasn't like that" he still insists I'm over reacting then. He's waiting for the explosion, the big fight, I can see he wants it, that's how guys like him get their kicks, arguing. Aggression.

So I just nod, "interesting".

His eyes narrow and his lips purse, "You say that a lot" he challenges.

I cock my head to the side innocently, "Do I?"

"Yeah, why is that?" He questions.

"It's keeping me calm" I insist.

Now he laughs at me, oh nice one! "You're nothing like your sisters you know"

Like you would know, "In what way?"

"You're...calm. It's weird" he smirks! Did he just call me weird? What a prick!

So I just remain calm and say, "Interesting" and I smirk.

"Well I wouldn't put it past your mother, you're probably not even mine with the lack of a temper. I bet you're that Wayne's kid, you know Wayne, the guy who used to fix your mothers car. It's those cheek bones of yours, he had them too" please, believe me I wish my mom was screwing the milkman or something, anything but have you as my father. But no I'm yours pal!

"I thought you just said I was the daughter you hadn't met? Now all of a sudden I'm someone else's kid? Make up your mind Frank" I say exasperated.

He doesn't answer.

Ha I got you bitch. So I look around the room and spy a photo frame. It's a picture of a teenage boy. Who is that?

"Oh that's James, my son" he answers my unasked question.

His son! He has a son! I have a brother? Ugh no, I don't want a brother, he can keep him! "So you got your precious boy then?" I snap.

Ignoring my jab, Frank explains, "He's 19, a smart boy. Finished school, now doing an apprenticeship, he's going to go a long way." His chest puffs out in pride, my ego starts to crumble. Ouch!

"That's nice" I say bluntly. Like I'm going to fall on my knees and praise that little bastard! So you wanted him, your precious little James, but not us girls! Thanks dad!

There's a knock at the door and a mature woman with grey blonde hair, must be in her late fifties enters. Who the hell is this?

"Hi, oh sorry I didn't mean to interrupt. I can come back?" She says.

"No it's fine. Annie, this is Taren, my sister" Frank says. Another family member I haven't met! And my name isn't Annie you wanker! God he can't even get my name right!

"Hi" she smiles like it's a new happy meeting.

"Hello" I breathe out. She takes her seat next to Frank.

"It's so good to finally meet you Annie. You're so beautiful, so much like Carla" she beams, is she high? She doesn't seem uncomfortable that she's meeting her niece for the first time in 25 years.

"Thank you. I'm glad I got _her_ good looks" I smile sweetly and look at Frank. Yup I'm my mothers daughter, not yours, you can have that boy!

"We have pictures of you and your sisters as babies at our parents house, we call it the wall of generations." She beams proudly. So they knew we existed, yet did fuck all? Why did no one want us? I don't want to cry at their feet and beg for answers, like I'd give them that. No I wanted to come here and show them, this is what you missed out on. You could have had me and my sisters as beautiful, amazing daughters, but you didn't want us, so fuck you!

Taren adjusts Franks pillows and smiles at me, it's creepy, "So tell us Annie, what are you doing with yourself?"

"Well, I finished Highschool with honours and went on to do my degree in English Literature. I graduated with more Honours and now I live in Seattle." I answer proudly. At least I'm proud of myself, I don't need him to beam with pride over me.

"Wow that's amazing! I think James wanted to go to university, but he decided to face reality and get a job. It's more practical" she again smiles, a bit too sweetly.

"Good for him" I answer simply.

"So what about your love life? Anyone special? Any mini Annie's?" She chirps.

"Um no. No mini-me's. And as for the special someone, well I have to admit it was hard finding that right guy" and now I look straight at my father, "I was never going to let a man hurt me. Control me. Dictate my life. I needed a guy who would love me, not hit me. But if he ever did, you better believe that I'd hit him straight back. I detest violence against women". I cock my eyebrow and smile, take that!

Then he starts to heave, oh god he's going to puke. Ugh, can't you do that somewhere else? Taren gives him a sick bowl, and his vomites loudly. Ugh grosse!

Wiping his hand over his mouth, Frank lies back against the pillows and sips on the water Taren gave him. Now he looks at me and shakes his head in amusement. "Well. I hate to break it to you Annie, a guy like that...he's light years away" he whips his hand over his head for effect and laughs.

"Nope. Not light years. I've met him actually. He's an incredible guy, whom I love. Mom loves him, he loves me, his family love me, my family love him. That's all I need" it really is. Their love and support got me here today.

"Oh lovely. Does this mystery man have a name?" Taren ask as she returns to her seat, having just emptied the sick bowl.

"Christian Grey" I say.

Both of them blanch! Hahaha, I laugh like a loon inside.

"I've heard that name before" Frank frowns.

"Ok then" I smile. Like hell is going to tell you more, only my real family deserve to know more about the love of my life!

"So can I have your number then?" Frank asks after a while.

That took me by surprise, "Why?"

"In case I want to talk to you again" he snaps at me. Why would I want to talk to you again? This was enough!

"I don't know about that?" I snap back.

"Why not?" His posture straightens.

I square my shoulders, I won't back down to you, "Because...I don't know you" Now drop it.

"Frank leave the poor girl alone" his sister laughs.

"So where does that leave us?" He asks.

"Done" and it's my time to leave.

"Why don't I give you a lift back home?" Taren asks.

"Uh no, thank you, I'm fine" like hell I want you coming to my house! And I walk towards Frank, so weak and fragile in the big hospital bed, and I pull out an envelope from my bag. I spent all night writing this. "Look, I'm not the best with talking about certain things in person, I find it difficult. So I've written you this. I think you owe it to me to read this, all of it."

And he gracefully accepts the envelope, the one kind thing he's done, "Ok". And finally he extends his frail hand, "it was a pleasure meeting you Annie".

I place my hand gently into his paper thin hand and squeeze gently, "you too Frank. Goodbye".

And I leave my father behind, for the first and last time.

I walk out into the main reception and turn towards the canteen. Before I leave, I want a coffee. With my coffee in hand I sit at a table and catch my breath...holy fuck. I just met my dad for the first and last time. I was calm, cool, confident, I didn't look like some psycho scorned bitch! I think he would have loved that, laughed at that, instead I frustrated him and confused him. Perfect! That's it! I feel light somehow. There's no sadness, nothing really. I expect it will come later, but for now, I sit back in my chair and close my eyes, I'm so proud of myself.

 **...**

The elevator doors open to the main reception and I walk towards to exit and stop dead in my tracks when I step outside. Sat on a bench, waiting, is Christian. Why is he here? Is he waiting for me? How did he know I was here? I didn't tell him about today, I didn't want to add more to his plate. Shit I hope nothing else has happened! Is someone hurt?When he finally notices me he locks his phone and slips it into his pocket as he rises and walks towards me.

"Your mom told me you were here" he answers my unasked questions. "Are you ok?" He asks with a small shy smile.

"Yeah" I smile back.

He holds out his hand for me, "shall we?"

I look at his hand and I scrunch my nose and shake my head, "there's one last thing I need to do" and I turn on my heels and walk back inside. I grab the first nurse I can find, "excuse me, can you tell me where I can find someone to report your receptionist please?"

 **Before anyone goes mad thinking Ana should have gone mad on her dad, I didn't want her looking like a fool! This was basically what happened to me when I met my dad for the first time, I wanted to scream and shout and hit him, but he would have wanted that. So instead I remained calm and kept my dignity. I wanted the same here! :)**


	56. Chapter 56

**Hallo guys! There's my chapter, hope you like it :) I wanted a bit more comfort during this confusing emotional time here, more so then something hot and heavy, I like the emotional connection. Don't worry though, they will get that, I promise.**

 **Excuse any typos I've missed :) - I say this because no mater how many times I read and read my chapters I always manage to over look something. And yes I can do that Beta thing, but I just get so excited to post my newest chapter that I just post them, I get a little impatient and can't wait for feedback lol.**

 **Chapter 53 CPOV**

I'm waiting outside the hospital for Ana, I have no idea how long she will be, but I'm going to wait. I have no idea what to expect when she comes out. Will she be sad? Will she be angry? Anything is possible, so I'm ready to go at her pace with this. I feel like such a prick for not knowing about her father being in the hospital, not knowing that she was planning to visit him. What was she thinking when she decided to do this? Was she secretly hiding fear, dread, anxiety, all those times she held my hand during this bullshit with Elena? I wonder if she would have told me, if I hadn't had found out from her mom.

 _"Grey" I answer my phone. I'm sat in my office pouring over the work I've neglected since Elena was arrested._

 _"Hi Christian it's Carla" Ana's mom takes me by surprise with her gentle tone._

 _"Hi Carla, sorry if I snapped, work is driving me crazy. How are you?" I ask, hoping to hell I didn't just snap at my girlfriend's mom._

 _"Don't be silly you didn't snap. I won't keep you too long kiddo, I just wanted to ask if you're still coming to dinner Friday and if so I wanted to know if you have any allergies. I don't fancy poisoning my little girl's boyfriend...well only if you hurt her " she says with a devilish chuckle at the end._

 _I frown in confusion. Friday? Then I remember, fuck how could I forget, Ana asked me to have dinner with her family. Shit, I'm so out of it recently! "Yeah that would be great. I'm so sorry I forgot to confirm it with you, life has been a bit crazy here. And no, no allergies to worry about Carla"._

 _"Great. I can't wait for you to meet the rest of the family, please don't be afraid" she laughs, "the boys can smell fear, so be prepared"._

 _"Thanks for the heads up. Though I'm sorry I didn't call and thank you for the invite, my mother would kill me for my lack of manners" I say._

 _"It's probably my fault, my memory is terrible. Ana probably told me, but we've all been so distracted, what with her finding her dad" Carla apologies. Hang on what? Ana did what? Ana found her father? Why? How?_

 _"I'm sorry I'm confused, what do you mean she found her father?" I ask._

 _"Oh-um, I'm sorry Christian, I thought Ana had told you. Um, she found out from someone that her father was in hospital with throat cancer" she says solemnly._

 _Oh my God, she found her father, her abusive, absent father, and he's dying! How is she coping with that? Is she ok? Why hasn't she told me? Is she going to visit him? I could go with her, be there during this confusing time, like she has been for me._

 _"She didn't tell you did she?" Carla asks as I silently debate._

 _"No she didn't. My guess is that she didn't want to add to my problems" I pinch the bridge of my nose, fuck! "I'm such a selfish bastard-" shit I just swore in front of my girlfriend's mother, shit! Shit! Shit! "-oh God I'm so sorry Carla I didn't mean to swear in front of you, it's just I never saw any indication of sadness or confusion, I had no idea all this was going through her head!"_

 _"It's ok Christian I'm not a complete square, you don't need to worry about offending me, I understand the frustration. Ana has always kept things air tight, she told me and Izzy about the situation with Frank and his illness, but she showed no sign of what she was actually feeling. All I know is that she's meeting him" she explains._

 _"Wait, she's meeting him?! She's already decided? Do you know when she's meeting him, I can give here a ride down to the hospital, I need to be there for her" I'm frantic now, fuck she came to this decision alone. She didn't talk to anyone really, she kept it all to herself._

 _Carla is silent for a minute, then sighs, "She's already there. She phoned the hospital a few days ago, arranged a date, and she left this morning to meet him"._

 _"Shit! Which hospital, I'll go meet her!" I ask, frantically closing down my computer and grabbing my jacket. I write a note to Andrea to clear my schedule for today and I leave my office. I hang up with Carla when I have the address and say my goodbyes_.

So here I am, waiting for Ana on a bench outside of the main entrance. I've got a message from my dad, apparently Elizabeth Morgan is denying everything. Ha stupid bitch, she should have just owned up to the charges, she might have reduced her sentence if she played ball and pleaded guilty early on. Taylor was true to his word and informed me when the police were arresting Miss Morgan, I couldn't be there, I don't want the truth to come out about my personal connection with this case, but apparently she didn't come quietly. Force was apparently used. Good! But with both women in custody, the police are trying to reach out to the victims, thanks to the pictures and files found in Elena's safe. Six have agreed and come forward and are providing statements, but there are more still out there.

The automatic doors slide open and I hear footsteps, when I look up I see Ana smiling at me questionably. I bet you're wondering why I'm here! Well you should know I have ways and means Miss Steele. My stalking tendencies have not gone. So I tell her that her mother informed me that she was here. Looking her over I try to assess if she's ok, there is no sign of distress.

"Are you ok?" I test the waters.

She reassures me with a small smile, "yeah".

Before we go to leave she turns back towards the hospital, saying she has something she needs to do before we leave. What now? I frown in confusion as I watch her approach a nurse who leads her somewhere out of my line of vision. Shit! What's happening?

"All done" Ana smiles like a Cheshire Cat when she finally comes back to me, I look back towards the hospital and smirk.

"What did you do?" I question in fake sternness.

"Just reported that evil beaten up bag of a receptionist in there" she replies sweetly, looking over her shoulder. There's my girl, and I take hold of her hand and we walk towards my car.

Once I open the door and she is inside I jump in and start the car. Again I don't want to push her, but I'm desperate to know what happened! Is she ok? What did that prick say? Is she going to meet him again? Ana looks relaxed in the seat, no tears.

"I'm not going to pressure you into telling me anything baby. This is your business and I respect that, but I need to know that you're not bottling up any emotions for the sake of me. If you need to cry, do it. If you want to scream and shout, again that's fine" I look out of the corner of my eye and see that she has not moved, she's still relaxed, looking forward, "but I'm here for you. Ok?"

"I know" she whispers, "thank you". We pull up to some traffic lights, and Ana finally turns to me in her seat, "do you want to do something with me?"

My eyebrows shoot up slightly in shock of her finally talking, "sure. What do you have in mind?"

And she breaks out into a huge cheeky smile that makes her eyes sparkle, thank god, I was so worried this had broken her inside. "Down time. You and me. At my house" and then she asks sheepishly, "do you fancy that?"

The lights turns green and I pull forward, taking a left in the direction to Ana's house. With all this with Elena, Megan, Ana's dad crap, downtime with Ana seems like a lottery win. "That's the best offer I've had in a while" and then I laugh, "that and having dinner with your family tomorrow. I've got some stuff for your nephews, I was told to come prepared" I got them a gift, just a little something so they won't rip me to shreds. Kids frighten me.

"Ah shit, I forgot to tell mom that you agreed!" Ana says, frustrated with herself, "and baby please tell me you didn't go overboard with this "stuff" for the boys. You can't spoil them, they will love you".

I frown only slightly so she won't catch it, I'm hoping a new Xbox isn't going overboard...is it? Ah well Ana will get over it. I remember her saying they like to play on hers, so now they have one. Plus I know you can't buy acceptance, but I know it means a lot to Ana knowing my family adore her, and I kind of want to be liked by her family. I hope on being around them for a while so I need them to accept me.

"Don't worry pretty girl, you're mom called and asked if I was still coming and asked about any allergies. So don't panic". I reassure her.

We finally pull up to Ana's place and get out together, walking up to the door together, my arm around her shoulders, I kiss her temple.

"Hey mom" Ana shouts out as she opens the door, and I close it behind me.

"Hey baby girl" Carla comes from the kitchen, concern etched on her face as she pulls Ana into her arms, "you ok?"

"Yeah mom, I'm ok" Ana kisses her cheek before pulling away.

"Hi Christian, so you found her then?" Carla narrows her eyes playfully.

"Of course" I chuckle, "did you doubt my abilities?"

"Na, you're a persistent bugger, just like my daughter" she laughs, "do you guys want anything to eat or drink? I can throw something together?"

"I'm fine Carla, thank you" I say.

"Ok. Well I'm here if you want to talk Ana, but I'll let you both have some downtime, it sounds like you both need it" she winks and goes off towards the kitchen again.

 **...**

I decided to let Ana talk to her mom while I made some phone calls, it's selfish of me wanting to spend every waking moment with her, especially when her mom has also been worried sick about her.

When Ana comes from upstairs she's changed into a pair of pyjama shorts and a loose t-shirt. With a huge cardigan on and socks, she looks adorable with her thick framed glasses and a messy braid. She's holding two mugs, she hands me one and waits while I finish up. Then I turn my phone off.

"You ready for this downtime Mr Grey?" She smiles over the rim of her steaming mug. Her lenses steam up making me choke on my coffee.

"Please lead the way Miss Steele" and I take my coffee and follow her upstairs.

"Ok please don't laugh! You know what I'm like, but this is my idea of downtime" and she opens her bedroom door and giggles and I snort out laughing. How long have I been on the phone? Ana has built, my 25 year old girlfriend I may add, has built a fort. I haven't seen a fort like this since me and Elliot stole my moms table clothes as kids and played armies in the garden, we destroyed them, she was furious.

"Really?" I look down at her giggling self.

"Oh yes! Come and see!" She says ducking down, still holding her mug, and she crawls into the fort.

I shake my head in disbelief, who would guess the big bad CEO would be crawling into a fort with his girlfriend! So I kick off my shoes and carefully crawl in, also still holding my coffee. Inside the warm comforting space, Ana has placed the TV and DVD player inside, and there are a stack of films.

"Well I have to admit" as I kick back and lay down on the stack of pillows, looking up at Ana who is sat cross legged next to me, "this is something else!"

Ana looks pleased with herself, and sets down her tea and lies down next to me, "well after all that drama, I thought it would be nice to kick back and be young together. We don't get much of that, just enjoying being young."

Lifting my arm over Ana's head she rests her head on her shoulder, and tucks her hand under her cheek, careful not to touch my chest. So I reach over and take her hand and place it over my heart, Ana tenses, probably waiting for me to freak out, but I don't I love her touch, I need it always. And that's how we stay for a while, in silence, just holding each other. That is until Ana's stomach rumbles!

"Hungry?" I ask.

"Starving!" And she sits up, "what do you want and I will go cook!"

Well since we're being rebellious and acting like a couple of kids, let's throw caution to the wind, why not keep the trend going, "no to cooking. I fancy greasy takeout food! What do you fancy?"

Ana's face scrunches, debating the choices of greasy food, "um that's difficult. I really fancy a huge ass triple cheese pizza with extra mushrooms and a stuffed crust...but then again I could really do with some greasy Chinese food" and then she gasps and bites her lip, "and then I fancy a giant tub of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream...shit what do want?"

I love her, she's not like the typical girls I've known, the ones who eat a garden salad and a glass of water. I love that she eats, she doesn't deny herself of anything, and that includes junk food. And all of that sounds perfect, "I can solve that" and I turn my phone back on one last time and Google the nearest fast food places. "Hi can I please have three large pizzas, one with triple cheese, loads of mushrooms and a stuffed crust. And the other with triple cheese, olives, peppers and onions" I ask Ana what her mom would like and I give him the address and hang up and dial the Chinese, giving them our order, making sure it is all vegetarian. And shit to it, I really want cookie dough ice cream, I text Taylor and ask him to pick up our desert and to pick me up some casual clothes for now and tomorrow. "That's all sorted. Now we've got twenty minutes before we end up in a sugar coma." And I push Ana down onto the pillows and climb on top of her, "And right now I need you to be as quiet as you can, because I want you for starters".

And I muffle her laughter with my kiss, swallowing the girlish giggles of embarrassment, as my hand slips into her shorts.

 **...**

Sat in our fort surrounded by junk food, we devour our feast while watching some cheesy crap horror flick.

"Baby why didn't you tell me about you finding your dad?" I eventually ask. I have been avoiding talking about him, waiting for Ana to talk if she wanted. But I still want to know why she didn't tell me, I can wait for the other details.

"You've had a lot going on Christian, a lot." And she puts her pizza slice back down and turns to me, "I know I should have told you. Please understand, I didn't not tell you to keep things from you because I didn't want you to know, I want you to know everything, but I didn't want to put my confusion and mayhem on top of yours. Especially when yours isn't just about you, this involves so many people now Christian, you've all suffered so much and this is now the long road to recovery now they've caught those disgusting women. I know you're here for me, and you're here now, this is what I needed. You here now with me, after I finally had the balls to face my past with only my own strength. It's hard to say these words, but I have never been so proud of myself for stepping into that room on my own, having the courage to go and face him."

Leaning over I take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips, "I'm so proud of you Ana, what you did today took great courage and confidence and you did it baby. It's that incredible strength of yours...which helped me. You gave me the courage to finally face my demons. Thank you Ana, you'll never know how much you have truly changed my life".

"I think I do understand, because you've changed mine" she smiles back at me.

 **A little sweetness for their troubles!**


	57. Chapter 57

**Hey guys, hope you are all good! Sorry for the delay, I'm going to be drawing this part of the story to a close soon and I've just been contemplating where to leave this first part. Don't worry I will continue it, but I'm keeping in the spirit of the original books, well the three part bit anyway lol. Also I've been rereading my story and making notes on the things I still need to put in, and if it's not in this first part don't worry it will be in the other parts. Anyway I promised a happy ending, so don't worry :) I've checked for typos, but if I overlooked any I'm sorry!**

 **Chapter 54 APOV**

Oh my God my stomach is killing me, I ate way too much! What was I thinking saying "hey let's order huge pizzas and Chinese and ice cream?" Then we got a little drunk while watching crap on the TV, still in the fort. I think I have taken comfort to a whole new level. Instead of a comfort hug, let's build a fort and eat every comfort food you can find. Christian was a good sport, as always, I think he's gotten used to my childish behaviour. Rubbing my eyes I sit up and look at our den, it's a mess. When I look over at Christian I nearly piss myself, shit I need to pee now, he has a pizza slice on his face. Hell we were out of it, but I needed it, to forget yesterday and focus on the good. Crawling out into the open I grab the mugs and place them on the side while I pee, then I go to make us some tea and coffee.

"Hey momma" I smile when I see my mom at the table with the paper and some tea, I wrap my arms around her shoulders and squeeze. I love her so much, despite what that wanker said, there is nothing he could say that could rip my loyalty away from her.

"Morning sweetie" and then she looks at my rough and ragged appearance, "good night?"

"Yeah, it was. Christian liked the fort" I laugh at her, I remember she looked at me like I was mental when I said I wanted to build one.

My moms eyebrows shoot up in surprise, yeah I know, he may be a scary CEO but he likes the slum it with me every once in a while, "wow! what a match made in heaven, two adults in a fort".

"Haha shut up, you're dying to come and play in the fort. Admit it!" I smile grabbing the milk.

"Ok you got me, I'm jealous you have a fort. I don't think I'll be able to get in though with my knee playing up, well you can always roll me in" my mom tries to laugh it off. Shit, her flare ups are getting more frequent. Her arthritis usually comes in stages, it can be quiet and she's fine, then suddenly something triggers it off and she will get swellings practically every day. Shit the only thing I can think of that might have upset her, is me visiting Frank. That bastard is still ruining our lives.

"Mom, why didn't you tell me you were in pain?" I scold her while going to the medical cupboard and pulling out the heat pads, and putting them in the microwave. Silly really, she has the medical cabinet high up so the boys can't get her medicine, but then when she can't move much she can't reach and she suffers. That's why I'm glad I'm here, I can help if she needs it, well when she tells me.

"Oh stop I'm fine! Besides you needed Christian last night, he's good at bringing out those emotions of yours" she says.

"Yeah but you needed me too! Please don't ever hide the fact you're in pain because you think I'm too busy!" I tell her as I drop to my knees and roll up her pyjama bottoms and apply the heat pack to her swollen knee.

"Thank you baby! Now go give that boy some coffee! He's going to need his strength today, Izzy and the boys are coming over at 12!" My mom instructs, pushing down her pyjama bottoms and pointing towards the half made tea and coffee.

I kiss her forehead and rise up and finish the drinks, "Has she had her instructions to be on her best behaviour?"

"Yes the boys will be Angels-" my mom says.

"-oh no I meant Izzy. The boys I can handle, but Izzy and her whole evil eye giving, big sister threats are appreciated but not needed" I look over my shoulder at my mom with pleading eyes, "please remember I like this guy, a lot, and I don't want him frightened away".

My mom laughs, she knows what Izzy is like, she means well, but it never comes out the right way. "I'll tell her" and I leave her to go wake Christian up with offerings of coffee and left over pizza.

I crawl carefully back into the den and place the mugs aside safely. Removing the pizza slice from his face I gently lean over and place gentle kisses all over his face, causing him to groan and stretch. When he doesn't open his eyes I try again, this time kissing behind his ear and down his neck. Suddenly he takes me by surprise and grabs me, making me scream, and he rolls so I'm underneath him.

"Good morning pretty" he smiles down at me.

I snort more laughter and reach up, "you have a mushroom on your head". When I show him, he leans down and eats it and gives me a quick kiss.

"How are you feeling today?" He asks gently. I guess he's waiting for the aftershock of yesterday. If I'm honest so am I, but it's not there...yet.

"I'm good. But then I always am when you're with me" I say sweetly. God Ana how bloody cheesy was that? "Are you still ok with meeting my sister and nephews today?" I ask cautiously. Christian suddenly tenses, oh shit, and he looks frightened. I frown in concern, is it too soon for that then? But then he laughs! Oh the bastard, I thought he was really frightened and I was forcing him to do this! "That's not funny!"

"It was, your face was adorable! But truthfully baby, I'm very much looking forwad to meeting them. Stop panicking" he says.

"Good, then be a good boy and hand me my tea" I jerk my head towards the mugs.

"Yes ma'am" he smiles cheekily and we drink our drinks while watching morning cartoons, me sat between Christian's legs, my head on his chest.

 **...**

"Babe can you hand me the plates, they're in that cupboard" I point to the right one as I take my zucchini fries out of the oven, I like the boys to try and eat healthy. Also I had no idea what the hell to make, usually one wants one thing while the other wants another, so I decided on a spaghetti squash and tomato bake, with zucchini fries and salad. Thank fuck it's not burnt and I know this actually tastes nice so I won't embarrass myself. Also I made chocolate strawberry pie for dessert, my way of getting the boys to finish a good meal, that way they can have dessert.

Christian lays out the eight plates on the table and arranges the cutlery while I serve up. Izzy and the boys are on their way, so I finally place a pitcher of strawberry lemonade in the middle. Perfect, meal complete, I'm dressed in a pretty summer dress, Christian looks presentable, mom is ok! Done!

"I've gotta say this looks amazing! Who knew you could actually cook!" Christian mocks as we wash and dry up the pans, waiting for the family to arrive. It's strangely domesticated, I love it, but at the same time I'm unnerved by it.

"Well you haven't tried it yet Grey. But thanks for the compliment" I smirk and he whips my ass with the towel making me yelp.

"Bastard" I mouth to him. And the door bell goes, "I'll get you for that later".

"I can't wait" he cocks his eyebrows mischeviously. And we walk together towards the chaos coming through the front door. The three boys come barrelling towards us and stop dead in their tracks when they see Christian, I know it's weird, even they haven't seen me with a guy.

"Auntie Ana who is that?" Will asks looking up at Christian, his big blue eyes curious.

"This is Christian-" I begin to explain.

"Ugh is he your boyfriend?" Mackenzie asks looking disgusted.

I can't look at Christian I am blushing so hard, "uh, yeah he is-"

"Alex wants to be Sarah's boyfriend! But girls give boys cooties!" Will mocks, and Alex blushes like me. God families can be embarrassing at any age.

"Auntie Ana have you given Mr Christian cooties?" Mackenzie asks.

Christian is just laughing by my side, "no she hasn't given me cooties...have you?" Christian narrows his eyes playfully.

"No. But I'll give you a kick in the knackers if you want?" I smile back sweetly, and we laugh at each other.

"Ana don't show off" Izzy says from the doorway, holding Josh. Oh great start, thanks sis!

I can feel myself go redder, I wasn't showing off. "Christian, this is my sister Isabelle. Izzy this is Christian my boyfriend" I say, trying to sound cheerful, but Izzy is looking a little hostile. Even as Christian extends his hand and smiles at her, she looks him up and down and reluctantly shakes his hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you" Christian says and he cocks his head to Josh who is watching him shyly from Izzy's shoulder, he gives Christian a small wave. It's so sweet.

"Only if you treat her right!" Izzy says in a low voice, "you hurt her and I'll break your legs! Are we clear?!"

Christian isn't fazed by the threat, thank God, because I'm so close to smacking my sister. This is supposed to be a fun happy meeting, and she is fucking ruining it! I don't care if she's being over protective, she doesn't need to be so bloody rude. "Crystal" he answers with a smile.

"You guys hungry?" I say towards the boys, ignoring Izzy, "I've got something special for good boys who eat all their food!" And I take Christian's hand and we walk towards the kitchen, I can hear mom say something to Izzy and her typical "whatever" answer.

 **...**

"Mr Christian" Alex asks, "can you please pass me the lemonade?" It's so sweet watching my boys interact with Christian.

"Sure" and Christian lifts up the heavy pitcher and pours some lemonade into his glass, "there you go kiddo. And it's ok to call me just Christian".

"Mom I'm full, can I leave the table" Mackenzie asks, he's the fussy eater. Already I can see he has hardly touched his food.

"You haven't even touched it, come on Auntie Ana worked hard cooking for us" Izzy says.

"And besides you need to eat it all up, because you guys will need big strong muscles for the surprise I might have for you" Christian says from across the table. Shit, I really hope he didn't go overboard! But with that incentive, Mackenzie starts to eat, Izzy looks a little miffed that Christian was able to convince him. I don't care as long as he eats something good.

 **...**

As I'm clearing the empty plates with Christian, the boys are now bouncing in their seats yelling, "Finished!"

I give Christian a warning look, I can see he's so excited to give them this gift, he's practically bouncing himself. "It's in my car...do you think you can handle waiting a bit longer while I help your Auntie?"

"I've got this, go on" I wink at him and he turns and leaves giddy. I put the kettle on and mom says to the boys to come and sit nicely in the living room as they wait for Christian to return. When the front door opens again I make my way to the living room, drying my hands and I lean on the doorframe watching.

"Now..." He says looking down at the four eager little faces, "...if I give you this, will you promise to look after it?"

"Yes Mr Christian" they say together making me laugh.

"Cool. I got you guys this to share, because I had this feeling you guys were going to really welcoming to me, and I was right. So this is for you boys, to say thank you for not hurting me" he laughs looking from me to mom, "I had been warned about you" and he gently places the large white box on the table. The boys practically jump on it, I crane my neck to see. Christian is biting his lip waiting for the reaction.

"Oh my God!"

"That's so cool"

"Mom look!"

"Mr Christian got us an Xbox!"

My jaw hits the floor! What the fuck?! Ana you knew he would go overboard! This is Christian after all! And then all four boys race towards Christian and throw their arms around his legs hugging him, screaming "thank you". He looks totally taken back by them, but a shy smile breaks out across his face.

And then when the boys go back to their box Christian hands both my mom and sister a small bag. Oh my god he got something for them too! My mom I can understand, but Izzy was a bitch. Still, shut up Ana. Christian then makes his way over to me.

"That was very sweet of you" and I lean up and kiss his cheek, "over the top. But very sweet. Thank you!"

"You are very welcome" and we go help the boys set it up.

 **...**

Me and Christian have been playing with the boys on their new Xbox for hours, Christian hasn't got bored or angry during their tantrums over whose go it is. So I leave him and go to use the bathroom. When I make my way up stairs I can hear hushed voices, but still the tone is annoyed.

"Well how shown up do I feel! This guy just comes in and gives my kids an Xbox! A frigging Xbox! What's he's trying to do, buy their affections!" I hear Izzy questioning Christian's motives from my mom's room.

"For gods sake Izzy I don't think-" my mom starts to defend him.

"Of course you don't see it mom, he's got under your skin like he has Ana's-" she gets louder.

"Really?!" I storm in, "You just can't be happy for me can you?" I think Izzy looks shocked that I caught her.

"Well come on" she's regained her balls, "he couldn't just be a normal guy and buy a bar of chocolate for them? He had to go overboard, making me feel like a skanky single mother who can't afford to give my kids these expensive toys!"

"You don't even know him and already you're making these stupid assumptions about him! He wanted to do something nice for you and the kids, thanking for you welcoming him to the family and all you do is moan that you feel inferior?!" I snap, not too loudly, I don't want Christian hearing how disrespectful my sister is being.

"He's not part of the family, and he can't buy his way into it!" She shakes her head.

"Grow up Izzy! Stop aiming your insecurities at him! This is the guy I finally fall for and this the reception you give him? How about the two scumbag guys from your past Izzy? The ones I had to welcome with open arms because they were your choices? At least Christian treats me with respect, actually makes me feel amazing about myself, makes me feel loved. You're just jealous! So I suggest you get over yourself and the next time you meet Christian I suggest you treat him much nicer then you have done today!" I won't have her disrespect the first relationship I have had. And I turn and storm down the stairs, leaving Izzy and my mom in shock.

"Hey guys, can I steal Christian for a while? I need to show him something!" I asks the boys who are engrossed in the game. Christian frowns in confusion and the boys protest as I go to take away their new friend. "I promise you will see him again, I just need to show him this", code for I need to leave before I hit my sister. Christian gets up and ruffles the boys hairs and gives them his best "I'll be back" impersonation making them laugh and I tug him towards the door before my mom and sister come downstairs.

"Soooo...where are we going exactly?" Christian asks when he's strapped in.

I'm fuming and I don't trust my voice much, "just drive baby, I'll tell you where to go" I whisper.

Taking a few deep breaths I try to calm myself down, why did my stupid bloody sister have to ruin a great special day?! Why can't she just shut up and be happy for me? I wasn't this mad when I met my stupid father, even with all the crap he spouted about my mom. I couldn't give a shit what he says, like I trust or value what he says! But with Izzy, my sister, I care what she thinks. Well in the sense that I wanted her and the boys to accept Christian and we all be happy, and we can have future dinners, they can meet his family, it looks so beautiful this picture of us all happy together. But no, she had to open her big fucking mouth! With both my sisters I always supported them as long as they were happy, even _him_ at first I welcomed into the family, and Izzy has had her fair share of moronic boyfriends. Yet the one I finally bring home she treats like shit! I can't tell Christian though, it would hurt him to think she thought he was just buying their affections. I don't want to hurt him from her cruel words, not when he's trying so hard and made a lovely gesture today.

"Take a left here" I say, and we finally start to leave the city. Leaving that bullshit behind. Besides I need privacy for what I need right now. But suddenly that need starts to grow stronger and I don't think I can wait any longer. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, he has been there for me, through all this bullshit. Izzy won't take that away from me. And after every sweet thing his has done for me in the last 48 hours, I need to show him how much I love him. "Can you pull in over the baby, please?" And he does, no questions asked. When Christian turns the car off I turn to him and say with desperation in my voice, "I want you, I need you, right now" and I climb over the seat into the back seat of the car.

Christian at first looks at me in shock, but when he sees me removing my panties he snaps out of it and climbs into the back with me. Suddenly I frantically reach for his jeans and unzip him as he grabs my face and kisses me hard. Once I have his jeans and boxers down I push him back onto the seat and climb on top of him. I take hold of his face and kiss him furiously, his hands pulling at my hair, bringing me closer.

I pull away, his eyes pleading with me, I pant looking down at him, "I love you so much" and my eyes start to fill up. I really do, it hurts so much these feelings.

Pulling me closer so I rest my forehead on his, he kisses me once, "I love you too" and then he pulls me back, kissing me with such intensity that I can't breathe, but I don't care, I can't stop. Even when I sit up and position him at my entrance I don't break the kiss. I take him so slowly, I grip on his shoulder hard as we moan into each other's mouths. Then I start to roll my hips into him hard, holding onto the seat I lift myself and drop down onto him hard, and roll my hips again. I have my rhythm and he meets it's perfectly, gripping my hips tightly, pushing me down harder and harder. He's the first to break the kiss and I grip his hair pulling his head back and kiss his throat, riding him harder until he screams!

"Fuck Ana!" He screams towardsd the back window and he bucks his hips hitting me hard, making me scream back in return. Damn I love this man! I will never get enough of him.

"Ahh! Christian I'm so fucking close" I yell breaking away and arching my back. And suddenly his hand slips between us and he pushes down hard on my clit! Oh fuck that's it, and I don't hold back anymore and my orgasm finally rips through me. My body finally goes limp when Christian scream out my name into my chest, and he pushes me back to him so I'm cradled against his chest. I breathing heavily in his ear as he is in mine, while we hold each other. "I'm sorry...I...just really...really needed you!"

And Christian huffs out a laugh, "baby, you can ambush me any time!" Oh I will Grey, count on it.

I look around at our location and I finally let him go, using my panties to clean myself up. "This isn't even where I wanted us to go. You still want to go, there's something I thought we could do together?"

Christian is pulling up his jeans and zipping himself up, "do I ever get to know what you have planned?"

I bite my lip and scrunch my nose, "nope" and I climb back into the front seat, where Christian slaps my naked ass. "Ow!" I scowl back at him.

"So, where am I driving to Miss Steele?" Christian asks when he climbs back into his seat.

"Forward" I laugh and he shakes his head and starts the car and pulls out.


	58. Chapter 58

**Haha I know Izzy is a bitch, I can relate though my sister is the same, she's over protective and it comes out in the complete wrong way. And in a way I like writing bitchiness hahaha! I've been thinking about the original FSoG time line and in a way because I felt a guy and girl getting together, breaking up, getting back together, moving in, getting engaged, getting married and having a baby in like a year is a bit much, and unrealistic, I'm trying to space it out more in my story! Does that even happen, live happily ever after in a year? I thought Ana was way too lucky to get all that fresh out of uni! So we've done some major mile stones! So I've worked with this relationship being about 3-4 months. I've checked for typos but ignore them if you find them, I'll deal with them asap :)**

 **Chapter 55 APOV...a few weeks after Christian met Izzy.**

Christian left early for work this morning, leaving me to sleep in as I didn't have to work today. I'm all alone in his apartment. I've told Mrs Jones to have some time to herself, I couldn't have her waiting on me, it makes me feel weird. But now I'm wondering what the hell to do with myself, I still feel like a stranger in this museum of an apartment. Even though Christian gave me the codes, his way of exchanging keys, and showed me around, I still feel rude coming in on my own. But then I look towards the stairs, and I'm curious. With that I put down my tea and walk up stairs and stand in front of the door. My hand hovers over the handle, until my sweaty palm wraps around the handle and twists. It's unlocked. I take one final look over my shoulder, making sure Mrs Jones doesn't catch me, I feel so bad doing this, but I have to. The room is plunged in darkness still. Flipping the light switch I sigh at the sight of Christian's playroom, it's still in pieces, still a mess. I haven't asked Christian about it, pressured him into rebuilding, this is his choice, I won't push him. But I won't lie, I loved this room, yeah not the intense torture pieces, but the other things I loved. I walk in deeper and make my way to the toy drawer and pull the drawer open and smile. This was never about the lifestyle, it was about her, that bitch who brought him pain and misery. He was never a monster through the means of this room, it was always the attitude that that hag conditioned him with. I can say from experience now that there is pleasure within this room, but it all depends on the two partners. And I trust Christian.

I have an idea. I run down stairs and hunt for a piece of paper and a pen. As much as I want to rescue some of these toys and play with Christian I know this is sensitive for him, so I decide to leave the room as it is, but I place the note I wrote for him on the bed. As he didn't lock the door I get the feeling he comes in here from time to time, so I know he'll see the white note on the red satin sheet. I smile at the message, I hope he believes it, because it's true. And I turn and leave the playroom, turning off the light and closing the door, and I make my way downstairs to get more tea.

 **...**

I'm bored! Since Christian didn't give me a time he would be back, just "I won't be long" I decided to stay at his, wondering if he came back early if we could do something together. When we left my mom's house after Izzy was a bitch, we ended up at the beach, and we fooled around, it was so much fun. But now I'm here alone, bored. I wish I had gone out and done something, shit now I've just wasted my day off. I've raided Christian's library which he showed me and I have adopted, but I've now started four different books and none of them are satisfying me. I've watched TV and fell asleep watching some stupid show about deranged cats. Looking at the clock I can see it's after 3, I wonder how Christian is doing? I grab my phone and text him, saying I miss him. After ten minutes there's no reply. I huff, he's probably busy then. So I text Kate asking if she wants to have coffee, but again everyone is busy but me! Even my mom is out with her friends today!

So I make my way back to the kitchen and grab the newspaper Christian left behind. I laugh when I see he left it on the business section, I look over the articles and frown in confusion, having no idea what half of that stock market shit meant. I flick through the paper, there's a little bit on Elena's case. More people have come forward, but she and Miss Morgan are still denying everything.

Morons!

Their trial is set to start in a few weeks. There is a comment from some guy in the article, a Mr Jack Hyde. I purse my lips, I don't know the name, I find out he is Miss Morgan's brother. He said:

 _"I am deeply saddened by the accusations placed upon my sister. Elizabeth is nothing more then a caring, dedicated and hardworking person and I am proud to call her my sister. Once the trial is over and she is found innocent, I just hope she can forgive this cruelty from those accusing her and move forward with her life and career"_

Damn! That is one pissed off sounding guy! And what does he mean when, "she's found innocent"? The stupid bitch was caught! I get it's his sister and he's going to take her side. But this isn't some petty crime she's being accused of, she was helping that molesting bitch get hold of her victims!

I turn the pages roughly, furious at how someone can defend a freak like that! Then I get to the announcements, well at least some people have found happiness in amongst these bullshit times. Birthdays. Engagements. Weddings. Births. And then deaths, nice how they go in that order. But then I notice my father's name in the list of death announcements.

 _Lambert (Franklin, Andrew). On 5th May_ **(note: I'm trying to find if I used a date in the story, if it's different I'll change it :))** _at St. John's hospice, Seattle, Franklin Andrew Lambert, aged 52 years, of Park View Road, Seattle, passed away. Devoted father of James, dearly loved son of Francis and Michael, much loved brother of Taren, brother in law of Nigel, and dear uncle of Logan, Dylan and Mark, loved by all his family. Funeral service Monday 10th May, 11:00am at St Mary's church, Seattle, prior to interment at Seattle cemetery. Family flowers only. Donations for St Johns Hospice._

Devoted father!

Loved by all!

What the fuck?!

They mention that little bastard son...that James...but not us!

Even after I met that stupid fucking Taren! She met me! Saw me! Knew of my existence...and still nothing!

Why?!

Forever that bastard will be remembered as the devoted dad, the much loved guy! Not the true woman-beating fucker, who abandoned three daughters, drank himself into oblivion, didn't pay a penny of child support, nothing actually truthful! He's just a good guy who people will read about and feel sorry for! Why him? Why does he get the sympathy?! Why will people cry over him just because he's dead, yet they won't weep or care for his daughters or ex-wife who are still alive and hurting from his abandonment! And then I couldn't even keep the dad I actually wanted! I can't talk about...Ray, I miss him so much! Taken too early, his passing broke me. So much so that I drove myself into the ground with grief and ended up having a fit! I want him back! Why take the dad I wanted so early and let the one I despise live longer?!

Why?!

Why?!

Why can't I catch a fucking break?

And for the first time I scream out in pain! A gut wrenching scream that leaves me ripping at my hair!

"Wow wow wow Ana stop, what's happened?! What's wrong?" I suddenly hear Christian yell from down the hall, his face etched with concern at my screaming.

"They didn't even mention us!" I scream, sobbing hard "Even when he finally kicked the bucket, the bastard and his family still don't give a shit about us girls!"

Christian comes to stand before me, his hands take hold of my shoulders, "What do you mean? What's happened?"

But as much as I know he's trying to comfort and calm me, I need him to let go, I don't want to accidentally hurt him with my outburst. So I walk out of his hold and luckily he lets me, "My stupid worthless dad has just upped and died! And yeah I didn't imagine us to meet and we have a great heartwarming reunion and all would be forgiven, but still the bastard knew we existed and his family knew we existed, yet in the stupid bloody obituary" I scream pointing furiously at the offending paper and pick it up and read, "he apparently leaves behind a beautiful fucking son and he will be greatly missed! No mention of the three daughters he abandoned and now just left behind, unknown to all! It's like thanks for that! I just wasn't fucking good enough for him and the rest of those wankers! And I don't know why, I'm not that fucking bad! Why does this happen to me? Why can't the fucking universe just leave me alone? Everything I love I lose, everything I hate comes back and bites me on the ass, I just can't catch a fucking break!" I fall to my knees and cry harder into my hands. My chest is heaving hard, fuck it hurts!

When I do eventually calm slightly and laugh an over the top laugh of disbelief I say, "Well that psycho hose beast got her fucking wish, telling me about my dad! I could have been blissfully fucking ignorant right now, but no, she just had to let me have it! Like her setting that stupid bitch Megan on me wasn't enough, she just had to cut me deeper still with telling me about that bastard!" I bite my quivering lip hard and shake my head.

Christian suddenly kneels to the floor in front of me, "Elena told you about your dad? And what do you mean she set Megan on you?" he questions in a disgusted tone.

I look up at him, he looks so out of his league with me, I don't want to hurt him, but I can't stop the tears, "Yep! When she cornered me in the bathroom she had great satisfaction in telling me I'm not good enough for you and that no one wants me, not even my own dad!" The fucking slag was right! "Then she loved informing me that he didn't have long to live and fuck me the bitch was right, he died four weeks after I met him! But then she couldn't just leave me like that, oh no, she went in for the kill, saying I was pathetic and weak and how Megan said I had put up more of a fight! Fuck! I seriously hate people! I just want to go and live in a fucking cave alone!" Say goodbye to all this shit and just live in peace!

Christian looks at me in shock! Oh shit yeah I forgot to mention that bit about Elena telling me!

"Please don't yell at me for not telling you, with everything that's happened, I'm sorry it must have just slipped my mind!" I put up a weak defence.

His expression softens and he reaches over and tucks my hair behind my ear, "I'm not going to argue with you Ana, I'm just so sorry you got caught up in all my bullshit!" Ah shit I didn't want him to feel guilty, I don't want that! Shit Ana couldn't you have just done this screaming tantrum later? He didn't need to see this and get hurt!

"Thank you for not yelling at me! And none of this is your fault Christian! Please don't blame yourself for those skanks!" I hold his hand.

Giving me a small smile, "I'm still sorry baby, you shouldn't have gone through this!"

Then I huff out a frustrated laugh, "Well if I were a boy like all those pricks wanted, this wouldn't have happened! God stupid chromosomes!"

Christian smiles and laughs with me, bringing my hand to his lips, "Well I'm very glad you turned out as a girl, their loss is my gain! If anything I'm the lucky one!"

"Just promise me if we ever have kids and I have a girl, that you'll just grow a pair and accept she's a girl! If I can't have boys, please don't hate me!" But then I frown, holy fuck did I just say about us having kids? Out loud? In front of him? Oh fuck no! You don't tell a guy you've been dating for what four months, that you want kids! I'm not even ready for that stuff, I just like where we are now, no pressure! Shit now he's going to freak out! "Wait I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that! Uh-shit, what the fuck am I saying about kids? That's not even on the agenda, I mean we've never had any serious talks like that! I don't want to screw up this great thing we have now, not have the pressure of the future and all the grown up stuff! Shit please forget I said that!" I can't handle anymore heavy things rights now! I just want him to make me forget everything but me and him and the carefree love we have. Not horrible people, pressure of the future, just us!

But instead of fear on Christian's face, he looks...confused? Hurt? Shit I don't know, "Why not?" He finally asks quietly.

"Why not what?" I ask confused.

"Why can't we talk about it?" He challenges.

My mouth hangs open. He wants to talk about that shit right now?! The future of our relationship, when I've just been ripping my hair out over my stupid dead dad, he wants to talk about that now? Please no, not now! "Because there's-there's so much going on right now, what with Elena, now my stupid dad, work, that it's not even at the same station-" I strutter nervously. Shit isn't it the guy who is nervous about this type of talk, why am I anxious? Maybe because you're fragile at the moment and fucking frightened as fuck!

"Move in with me!" Christian cuts me off.

Holy fuck! "What?" I squeak, shaking.

"I said move in with me!" He asks again with a hopeful expression.

Oh fuck, please can we discuss this later. Next month maybe? Not today! "Why? Why would you want that?"

"Because I hate being away from you! I love you being here in the morning and being with me at night!" He says full of passion and love.

"But...we haven't even...shouldn't we talk about this kind of thing before we decide?" I had no warning of this! I didn't think he was on this page, I thought he enjoyed what we have now, just having fun, just loving each other, discovering each other! Holy fuck! What about my mom, who will help her? What about my cats? We haven't even discussed going on a holiday or something, don't couples do that before they move in? Test the waters! I've been at Christian's for a bit before and he's been at mine, we get on. But that's not living together, there's a huge difference. Can't we take baby steps?

"What's there to talk about? I love you! You love me! We argue like hell and still make up! We've made it through some tough times together! I've met your family, you've met mine! I think if we've survived that together, why shouldn't we live together?!" He says like it's so obvious.

I'm in so much shock right now! Couldn't we have done this another time, like when I wasn't a fragile emotional mess? My head is pounding! Oh my God, what the hell am I going to do? Would he accept my proposal of time, me thinking about it? Like I said maybe having a trial run! At least discussing it with my mom, finding out how she would cope alone? Damn it, why did I have to fucking mention kids? You stupid bastard Ana, you should have kept your mouth shut! "I can't...not right now".

Christian looks devastated, like I've told him something so terrible, like I cheated on him or something! He now looks annoyed, shit first I didn't want to hurt him by him feeling guilty for Elena's crap, now he thinks I don't want to, like I don't love him anymore! Fuck no! "You just said we never talk about the future just to live in the now, well right now I want to know what you see happening! I love you! I see us moving in together. Marriage. Buying a house. Getting a dog. Babies. Grandchildren. Retirement! I see all that with you!" And now his voice breaks slightly, "So what do you want? Are you going to take the next step forward with me?" He demands, his jaw is tight.

Shit he's thought about that stuff? Why hasn't he given me any kind of inkling of it? I get he loves me, that's not what I mean, what I mean is why didn't he talk me through this! See how I felt about this couples stuff as well! But now I'm going to look like the bad guy, because I need time. I have been so used to being alone that it took time to adjust to Christian, fuck I'm still adjusting. But moving in together, I've lived so long with my mom, we are a team, I help her when I can. My lip quivers furiously, "I can't leave her yet!"

"Who?" He questions.

"My mom." I whisper.

Now he stands up in frustration, gone is the sweet Christian who was comforting me. And now is the defence, a man looking upset and betrayed. "I'm not asking you to leave her Ana!"

I stand shakily, "Of course you are, me not being there with her is leaving her, she needs me! Her arthritis is getting worse, sometimes she can't even get out of bed! How can I leave her like that?"

He pulls at his hair, "You wouldn't be far Ana, you can always help her! You'd be just a phone call away!"

"Like hell she'd call me! You don't know how bad she can get! That would be so selfish and irresponsible of me to leave my vulnerable mother alone!" I sob. "She wouldn't call me for help, she doesn't even call me if I'm out with you for a night. So what makes you think she'd call if I didn't live with her? She sees herself as a burden, she doesn't like getting help from me, she would never ask for help!"

His hard expression softens slightly, "I could get her some help! What about your sister?"

"Oh god did you meet my sister? She's like a frigging vampire, she drains the life out of us! And my mom would be mortified if someone had to help her bathe or dress!" Then I tone down my voice, I really need him to see that I'm not using this to push him away, but my loyalties do lie with her, "I appreciate what you're saying baby I do, but I can't leave her, not right now, I'm sorry!"

Then there's silence. No fight. Just nothing. Christian walks over the window and stares out at the city. Please don't let this break us! Why can't he just give me time? Why can't it go back to normal?

"So what, you don't want me anymore?" he asked, pained.

Oh fuck no! Not this please! I never uttered the words "no I don't want to live with you because I don't want you!" Why can't he understand that it's just a bit complicated with my family, that with time and work I can get my mom settled maybe, and then we could talk about it. "Of course I want you! I love you so much-" I plead.

"But not enough to move in with me?" He turns and yells at me, making me jump.

"It's not like that!" My tears are burning my cheeks.

And he strides forward so he's standing before me, looking down at me, and he yells "Then what is it like?"

"Please stop shouting at me" I beg.

He shakes his head furiously and turns away from me again, "I just don't fucking understand you Ana! You're upset because you found out your father and his family don't want you and then I'm here, with open arms, wanting you and you don't want me!"

Ouch!

"I do want you!" I whisper my body heaving from the sadness I am trying to hold back, "I want you more then anything, but she's my mom Christian. I don't want her to be suffering and alone." She's done so much for me, she's been through so much, I don't want her suffering in silence, because I'm not there.

"But _you_ will be!" And then he turns back to me, "And you're ok with that?"

What does he mean I'll be suffering and alone? Is he breaking up with me? Why does this have to mean a fucking break up? Can't we just discuss it, re-evaluate in a few months?

I can't breathe!

He's giving up on us then, just because I said no to one thing?

I look down at the floor, tears falling on my feet, "So that's it then? I don't agree to move in with you because I don't want my mom to be alone, and you just want this to..." and I look up at him, "what? We can't go back to normal, wait a little longer? See what happens later on down the line? That's just it then?" I whisper the last part.

Christian looks horrified, "I didn't say that! Stop putting words in my mouth!"

That wasn't a no though. It isn't a "No baby I don't want this to end, I'm upset yeah, but it's ok we'll work it out".

"You didn't need to, I heard it loud and clear." I turn slowly and make my way to the elevator and press the call button.

"Oh no you don't," Christian grabs my arm and spins me around and pushes me against the wall, his body holding me there, "you said you wouldn't run!" He says angrily, welling up.

"I'm not running away. I'm just leaving" I cry.

"No you're not!" And he gets closer, pushing me closer to him. I can feel his heart pounding furiously. He rests his forehead on mine.

I can see the elevator numbers rise, last chance to put my mind at ease Christian...please. "So what, I can't move in with you right now. Are you going to give me time, move past this? Go back to normal?"

I question after we stand in silence. The reassurance doesn't come.

"Or will you still believe I am just rejecting you! No waiting, no moving past this, just dwelling?"

The elevator door opens. He still doesn't answer.

No one ever gives me time. No one lets me take it at my pace.

I lift my hand and stroke his jaw, "Goodbye. I love you, despite what you think. I always will" and I duck under his arm and step into the elevator, not looking back. When the doors close I fall to the floor.

 **Ok don't hate me! Please don't lol! I did say I was kind of following the structure of the original, just adding some twists. And in the original they were blissfully happy, then they had a fight. And yeah I get a lot of you guys are going to be major pissed off with Ana, but I know how she feels. A lot of these little twists are based on my own experiences, and I too had to move back home with my single mum and I feel so guilty for leaving her alone sometimes, even if I'm in a different room, I know she's got someone in the house with her. No I don't have a Christian to tempt me to move in, but I wanted to teach abroad, and when my mum got arthritis I felt I couldn't leave her. So please be gentle, like I said it's a bit personal lol And besides I did promise a happily ever after, but it's not going to happen in the space of a month for them lol!**


	59. Chapter 59

**Here we go guys, the final chapter! Dumdumduuuuuum lol! I felt so bad for Ana in the last chapter, I tried to make Christian be a bit unreasonable and everyone hated Ana instead lol! I mean come on take a chill pill Christian, she didn't say no, just wait a minute. In my experience men are more premenstral then girls lmao! I also wanted to flip the characters and give Ana the insecurities instead of Christian, and it annoyed me when in both the book and film Ana was all, "let's talk, let me in, where's this going" all that crap lol so instead she was like wtf when he's asking about the future.**

 **Also...**

 _ **From: Guest**_

 _ **:your on chapter 58 and you constantly change the direction of your story. Ana is nothing but a pushover, I can understand she loves her mother, but she doesn't have to live with her mother to look after her. Is Carla happy about Ana giving up her life with Christian to be her nurse made/babysitter. If Ana isn't looking after her sisters kids she is giving up her life to look after her mother. This is not the story that was introduced, it's Ben nothing but Ana and the trials and tribulations to her sister and mother. I am starting to get bored with all the drama.**_

 **Sorry if there has been any confusion, to be honest I thought I was doing well with the story lol. Instead of struggles with BDSM, I thought of struggles with emotions of both A and C? The original FSoG bugged me because Ana had everything, and she let Christian have his way all the time, she was needy and I didn't like her mother in the story. Again too straight forward, too neat. I wanted my version to be about a girl who didn't get the great job after uni like in the original - mine didn't. She didn't move to the great apartment with Kate - she moved back home. She didn't have the luck of not having an over bearing family - mine defiantly did. That Ana was too pure in my opinion - mine has baggage. If I'm honest I wanted this to be more about Ana and her making mistakes, learning from them, trying to take chances, and yeah that's not going to happen in one chapter. Emotions yoyo! I think she's grown from the unemployed girl who had one friend and sat at home alone with her cats, depressed, not knowing what to do with her life at the start, to now be someone who has taken a chance, made too many mistakes, faced some demons. If anyone has ever struggled with life you know how bloody frustrating it is to try and change. Haha and my life is also full of drama, I swear if it's not one thing its another, but then again that's just reality, that's just life.**

 **Haha sorry for the rant, maybe I'm a bit over sensitive today lol anyway I am hoping to leave on a "so...", hope it works hahaha! I've checked for typos but sorry for any I've overlooked. Hope you guys like the final part :) and if I haven't had you pulling out your hair, I will be starting the next part soon.**

 **Chapter 56 CPOV 3 months later...**

I'm sat in my office, just looking out the window, my coffee is now cold.

Great!

Just fucking great, and I put my head in my hands. Why the fuck did she have to do this to us?

"Earth to Christian!" Someone shouts from behind me.

"Fuck off! I said I didn't want to be disturbed" I yell over my shoulder.

Then someone whistles, oh that's just frigging marvellous, it's my stupid bloody brother! What the hell is he doing here? Has Kate found out about what happened and he's here to give me a lecture? Laugh at me? What? "What's been eating you bitch? Ana not keeping you happy?" He jokes.

"Don't joke! I'm not in the mood" I spit back.

That doesn't faze him, he just laughs and places some papers on my desk. "I'm here for my meeting Mr Grey! You asked to discuss the construction plans for that publishing place of yours, so here I am" he smiles taking a seat.

Fuck! I totally forgot!

When I fully turn towards him, Elliot looks horrified, "shit Christian, what the fuck happened? You look a fucking mess!" Probably, I haven't been sleeping, shaving is a chore, you know this is what happens when you break up with someone!

"I'm fine" and I buzz the intercom, "Andrea I need some coffee, for me and my brother...please".

I busy myself with opening the blueprints, avoiding Elliot's questioning looks, just drop it I silently beg. Andrea soon enters and leaves the tray of coffees on the side and leaves swiftly. I know I have been a total bastard these past few months. That bloody woman on mine. Not mine, anymore. Fuck! She hasn't called or texted or emailed an apology for her behaviour...but then neither have I. Shut up, focus on work. The plans are looking good, I grab a pencil and make a few adjustments and notes, I want the new publishing house I acquired to have day care for single parents. Elliot has already helped set that up here at GEH.

"So how's it going with Ana bro?" Elliot finally asks. My hackles go up, that's a very very sensitive topic, one I am not wanting to discuss. But then again, I wonder if she's talked to Kate about me? Does she still care enough to talk about me to her best friend?

"Oh it's going frigging great Elliot!" I say sarcastically, not looking up from the plans "We broke up!"

Elliot spits out his coffee, I frown as I wide the coffee spit off my desk, stupid dick! "What?! Why?! When?!" he sakes exasperated.

"3 months ago!" I say bluntly. Don't show him that they have been 3 of the worst months ever.

"What happened?" He continues pushing! God just let it go! When I look up I can see he's still waiting and he's not going to give up without an answer! I huff in frustration.

"I asked her to move in with me and she said no!" I say emotionlessly. She said no, no to us! To the future of us!

Elliot is silent for a while, when I look up I can see he's frowning in confusion. I know I guess she confused me with her declarations of love too. "Wait...you broke up because of that?"

"Yeah! Didn't you hear me just say that?" I snap rolling my eyes and looking back to the plans. I want better access for those with disabilities.

"You stupid wanker Christian! Seriously!" He laughs and I drop my pencil! Did he just call me a wanker? What the fuck did I do wrong?!

I look up at him, my mouth hanging open! Hang on doesn't your brother usually have your back on things like this? "Did you just call me a wanker?" I question.

"Yes I did" he says sternly.

"What the fuck Elliot?" I can't bloody believe he's taking her side on this!

"You had been dating this girl for like what, 4 months? And you ask her to move in? Who does that?" His tone gets louder.

I'm getting scolded by Seattles most notorious man whore, "A guy who loves his girlfriend, that's who!" I yell back.

Elliot just looks at me like I've told him something so stupid, like the earth is bloody made of chocolate. Now he speaks to me like I'm a total moron, "Yeah I get that, anyone can see how much you guys love each other, I'm not disputing that! But it's way too soon to commit to something as big as moving in together! I mean you really find out all the annoying bad things when you live together, that's why it needs to go slow. And she obviously wasn't ready yet, but that doesn't mean let's break up!"

"Oh fuck off like you'd know! You suddenly speak woman now?" Don't bloody patronise me.

"I know more then you think little brother! I've been seeing Kate longer then you have Ana and actually we've discussed the future like adults, see where we both are, how we both feel! Not just ambush each other! And if I'm honest, I'm ready to move in with Kate and yet she isn't, but we are ok with that, we can build up to that! I don't want to rush something perfect and destroy it and you shouldn't have pushed Ana away!" He says gently.

Oh so now I'm the bad guy, "I didn't push her away! She fucking left!"

Elliot narrows his eyes and cocks his head, "What actually happened then?"

I can remember that day all too well, it still gives me bloody nightmares. "I came home from work and Ana was a screaming. She was upset about learning her dad who she just met had died-"

"Fucking hell Christian!" He cuts me off, "of all the times to discuss the future you chose then? Couldn't you just have put the thought away, waited until she was ok? The girl was hurting and sensitive and you had to question her about her loyalties to you?" I just look at him in shock, shit! "Go on!" he says for me to proceed.

My fight is faltering slightly, "And she mentioned if we were to ever have kids, that I wouldn't be like her father to them. Then she got all panicked, saying forget what she said! But I didn't want to forget it, I wanted to talk about those things. So I asked her to move in with me. We love each other, been through a lot together, met the families etc so why not?" All this would be ok if she just agreed! But then all this would ok if you had just shut up and comforted her.

"And?" Elliot interrupts me.

"She said she can't because her mom is ill! But I think she just hides behind her mom's illness!" I lamely defend my actions.

"Is her mom ill though?" He asks.

I can't answer him, because she is ill. Of course Ana would want to look after her mom. That's something I love about her, her love for her family, despite how demanding they are, she will always love them. "Well yeah but-"

"So she wasn't hiding behind her mom's illness really! I mean she's just lost one parent, she's clinging to the one she has left! So ok, she said can't move in yet, not wont, what happened next?"

"I offered to get her mom some help-" I say, I could have hired her some of the best nurses around, Ana's mom wouldn't have to lift a finger.

"But would you want some stranger helping mom if she were ill?" He cocks an eyebrow.

Of course not, she's my mom, I'd be there for her when she needed me, just like she was there for me when I needed her, "No, but-"

"And that's how Ana must feel. Your heart was in the right place Christian, I do believe that!" He says.

"And then I told her that she obviously didn't love me enough to move in with me!" I add shaking my head, you heartless bastard Grey!

"But she does love you doesn't she?" Elliot asks.

"Yeah!" I whisper. "Oh fuck what have I done?!" I bury my head in my hands.

Elliot comes around my desk and places a hand on my shoulder, "You gave her an ultimatum dude, no woman wants that!" I did! I fucking did! She said she loves me, she's shown she loves me, but I demanded she prove it by making her do something she wasn't comfortable with! You fucking freak! What was so wrong with letting things go back to normal for a while longer? She needed your help, like when you needed hers with Elena and you just made her feel worse!

Suddenly I grab my phone, I'm breaking this silence, and I dial her number.

Fuck there's no answer.

I try again.

"Damn it she's not answering!" I yell.

Elliot gives me a sympathetic smile. I dial Welch, I need her location now, I need to see her.

"Yes sir?" Welch answers.

"I need Anastasia Steele's location" I command.

"Give me a few minutes sir" and I hang up and start to pace!

Fuck! Why didn't I keep security on her? I was so angry I just distanced myself from the hurt she caused me. But that didn't stop me from carrying that note she left me in my playroom, the one I carry around in my wallet.

 **You are perfect xx**

My phone buzzes and I answer it, "Sir Anastsia Steele isn't in Seattle at the moment".

No! Where the hell is she? "Find her" and I hang up.

 **JPOV**

I run from my car and head straight to the reception.

"Can I help you sir?" The old bag behind the desk asks annoyed.

I pant frantically, "yes my sister" I huff, "Elizabeth Morgan".

Suddenly a police officer approaches me. "Are you any relation to Miss Morgan sir?" The officer questions me sternly. Fuck you, you cocky bastard.

"Yes I'm her brother, I'm Jack Hyde. I was called saying she was admitted here. Is she ok?" I plead.

"Right this way sir and we can discuss the situation in private" the formal prick escorts me to a side room. Where is she? What's happened? A doctor then enters, and the officer stands and talks in a hushed tone.

"Mr Hyde" the doctor looks at me, "my name is Dr White and I have been treating your sister"

"Is she ok?" I demand.

Then she takes a seat next to me, "you're sister was found this morning in her cell, she was unconscious. She had attempted to commit suicide but cutting her wrists"

My hands fly to my mouth, holding back my sob, "is she ok? She's still alive right?" Don't take her from me!

She nods kindly, "Yes her condition is stable, but we did have to sedate her".

"Can I see her?" I blink back the tears.

She again nods kindly and gives me a small smile, "right this way".

My beautiful Elizabeth looks so tiny in that hospital bed. Look what this bastard has done to her! I will find this person who laid these claims on her. I will find this person. And I will hurt them. I take hold of her fragile, dainty hand taped with an IV, leaning down I kiss her forehead and whisper into her ear, "I'll get them Beth. I promise you, I will get whoever it was that did this to you. I will make them suffer". And I leave her sleep, with a new plan. I get into my car and pick up my phone and dial the number I need.

 **...**

I wait patiently in the small grey room, one table two chairs, a one way mirror. A cup of water before me. When the door finally opens a blonde hag in dull grey clothes is escorted in and led to her seat opposite me. Fuck, this dog before me looks disgusting. I guess that's what happens when you don't have regular access to your Botox, your face starts to sag. Ugh her neck looks like a fucking vagina, she's revolting. How the hell did my sister get caught up with _this_?

"Who are you" the she beast demands.

"My name is Jack Hyde. My sister is Elizabeth Morgan. I want to know who did this to her?" I say coldly and quietly.

She sits back in her seat and smirks at me, "what would you give me if I told you?"

My fists are clenched so tightly that I can feel the blood in my hands, "well for starters I wouldn't smash your fucking face into the wall. I don't think society would miss something like you." I look her up and down in disgust, "But we can discuss further payment another time if you satisfy me with your answer. Now I want the name of whoever brought this upon my sister". I have big plans for this person.

She looks at me, debating. Then leaning forward across the table she whispers in my ear, "Anastasia Steele" and then she licks the shell of my ear. That's all I need, I rise and leave, having got what I finally wanted.

 **End of part 1**

 **So there we go! Hope you guys like my story so far, you're comments and support have been amazing, thank you all so much :) it's really lame to admit but this little story started out as just an idea, I never thought anyone would actually read it, let alone support it. But for me writing this story has been a bit like therapy for me, so thanks again!**


	60. Wayhay!

**Holy hell 500 reviews! That's crazy! I didn't even think I'd get over 50, and I expected those to be like "boo get off the stage bitch" lol! Thanks guys, you're kind words and support mean so much! I'm glad I managed to make a few people happy :) including me! So feel free to keep dropping those lines, I love hearing from you all!**


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